greylady2 ([info]greylady2) wrote in [info]rachael_ray_sux,
@ 2008-05-10 22:50:00
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 Ham Steaks 
1 tablespoon extra-virgin olive oil
2 to 3 large ham steaks, cut in halves

 

Heat a large skillet, with olive oil. Add the ham steaks and heat through, 1 to 2 minutes on each side. 

Ladies and Gentlemen,
I give you Ham Steaks by Rachael Ray. I know, I know you're thinking, "Hot damn! I'd love to make that but it just looks too complicated!" That was my reaction too. A team of brain surgeons and nuclear physicists working around the clock channeling the late great Julia Child couldn't pull it off.  I mean WTF, 2 to 3 large ham steaks, put them in a large (not a small, not a medium, but a large) skillet . . . my head is spinning already.    And then I heat through for 1 to 2 minutes?!!!  Stop it!  Stop it!  I can't take it!    She's just so clever and inventive.   I had no idea Dumbo the Cooking Clown invented the pig.   

On a less sarcastic note, someone really should teach her how to actually hold a knife.  It might even help make her porky little fingers less ugly.  

Happy Mother's Day all!
 


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[info]aznjaykitza
2008-05-11 07:09 am UTC (link)
Happy Mum's day, Greylady. Glad you're back. :D

By the way... WTH is a ham steak? I thought they're both completely different things? Do one use the word "steak" to describe pork? I thought by default steak's beef? Okay... I'm really confused now. *dizzy*

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[info]aznjaykitza
2008-05-11 07:09 am UTC (link)
*does

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[info]joeytheteapot
2008-05-11 07:41 am UTC (link)
From recipetips.com:
A thick slice of ham that is circular in shape and may have the shank bone in the center.

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[info]aznjaykitza
2008-05-11 03:17 pm UTC (link)
Oh golly... Thanks for the info. I checked encarta for ham and steak separately and I got confused since steak can refer to any meat whereas ham's usually refering to pig thighs. ^^

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[info]newbornscreener
2008-05-11 12:51 pm UTC (link)
Good one! Thanks for the good wishes. Happy Mother's Day to you as well! Did you move?

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[info]solnascente
2008-05-11 01:01 pm UTC (link)
Glad you are back. Happy mother's day to all mothers out there. Yeap, live to the Roach to came up with all these "creative" ideas. Makes me laugh when she says: what I am "teaching you" is the method, and blah, blah, blah. She is a joke.

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[info]greylady2
2008-05-11 04:49 pm UTC (link)
And what floors me is that they publish this crap. Since when does heating up a couple of ham steaks constitute an actual recipe?!! What next? Dumbo's ice cube recipe?

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[info]chicky1
2008-05-12 10:22 pm UTC (link)
I would love an ice cube recipe, because too many times, I've put the tray in empty and scratched my head over the cubes not materializing in the freezer. I mean, isn't ice just cold air?

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[info]dadeyarro
2008-05-11 01:57 pm UTC (link)
Wow, cooking a ham steak and microwaving baking. Will wonders never cease? what will she teach us next? How to scoop ice cream in a dish..oh wait, never mind.

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[info]dadeyarro
2008-05-11 02:00 pm UTC (link)
And you know, she can even make a good piece of ham look horrible. Thanks Rache.

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[info]greylady2
2008-05-11 04:51 pm UTC (link)
Yeah, why does it look like it has some sort of glaze on it? It's just gross.

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[info]chicky1
2008-05-12 10:23 pm UTC (link)
It's probably the oil mixed with the ham fat.

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[info]actress48
2008-05-11 02:44 pm UTC (link)
That recipe is right up there with her ice cream ones where all it consists of is putting a scoop of ice cream in a bowl and adding a cookie. And the reigning champion of her recipes is the now infamous recipe for bacon. Where the recipe consisted of olive oil and bacon.

The lemmmings must be too stupid to be able to cook a ham steak. Can't wait for her recipe for a cold drink. That is where you take 4 ice cubes place them in a glass and add a beverage of your choice.

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[info]dadeyarro
2008-05-11 02:57 pm UTC (link)
She'd have to tell them which beverage. Their heads would explode if they actually had to choose something to drink.

Of course, as dumb as some lemmings are, they would probably get a box of red wine, since RayRay loves red wine, and put it in glass of ice.

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[info]greylady2
2008-05-11 04:52 pm UTC (link)
As long as her name and ugly mug are on it, they won't care how stupid it is.

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[info]reneeartois
2008-05-11 02:50 pm UTC (link)
Which one of those round things with a handle is the skillet? If I want to make Greek ham steak
can I put feta and olives on it?

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[info]dadeyarro
2008-05-11 02:57 pm UTC (link)
Don't forget oregano, it means Joy of the Mountain in case you forgot.

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[info]reneeartois
2008-05-11 03:07 pm UTC (link)
Oh thats right it reminds me of all the times I've never been to Greece.

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[info]aznjaykitza
2008-05-11 03:17 pm UTC (link)
Anytime you want to make it asian, just add soy sauce and ginger and wasabi to the ham steak.

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[info]reneeartois
2008-05-11 03:20 pm UTC (link)
It smells awesome in here already.

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[info]rainwater79
2008-05-11 03:32 pm UTC (link)
And don't forget the sesame oil! Actually, since sesame oil tastes just like peanut butter, either one would be fine to make a ham steak more "Asianey". Just slather on either one or both for that matter (even better), and enjoy!

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[info]aznjaykitza
2008-05-11 04:01 pm UTC (link)
Use some french wine to make it a "fusion".... A-Fro cuisine!

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[info]isabooboo
2008-05-11 04:26 pm UTC (link)
This ham steak just keeps getting healthier! Pressurized whipped cream would top it off nicely, and look festive.

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[info]ihaterachaelray
2008-05-11 04:41 pm UTC (link)
And you can totally entertain with ham steak.

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[info]reneeartois
2008-05-11 05:01 pm UTC (link)
and if your kids don't like ham hide it under cheese

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[info]chicky1
2008-05-12 10:25 pm UTC (link)
How 'bout I put peanut butter AND jelly on it, and make a ham sammie, using the HAM as the BREAD? Holy shit, I need to patent that before she steals it!

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[info]chicky1
2008-05-12 10:23 pm UTC (link)
GET OUT! I'm totally using that at my next cocktail party!

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[info]greylady2
2008-05-11 04:54 pm UTC (link)
Round skillets? Round? Well, that will teach me for buying Rachael Ray crap.

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[info]gringorican
2008-05-11 03:57 pm UTC (link)
Don't forget the water chestnuts and snow peas! Glad to see you back greylady, missed you! Happy Mothers Day to all! Cooking for my wife tonight, she's a mother of two and grandmother of three.

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[info]greylady2
2008-05-11 04:47 pm UTC (link)
That's so great. I'll bet she'll love it.

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[info]dubbamom
2008-05-11 04:34 pm UTC (link)
Hey Greylady! Glad your snarking with us again!

That was a picture of ham? Since when does ham glisten?

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[info]greylady2
2008-05-11 04:46 pm UTC (link)
Happy Mother's Day, dubba. In fact, I was just thinking about you and all the other mothers today. Hope you're having a great day off.

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[info]stoupidone
2008-05-11 05:08 pm UTC (link)
And if You think You won't like it,Your wrong!!

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[info]isabooboo
2008-05-11 05:19 pm UTC (link)
Now I'm confused. Do you cut the ham steaks in half before fry them or after? Does this recipe serve 2-3 or 4-6? Tall me again about the rabbits.

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[info]actress48
2008-05-11 05:26 pm UTC (link)
And if you want the itty bitties to eat it just hide the veggies under a ton of cheese. Yummo!!!

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[info]aznjaykitza
2008-05-11 05:27 pm UTC (link)
Tell your kids you just fed them dinosaur udders and bug brains! YUM-O!

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[info]reneeartois
2008-05-11 07:30 pm UTC (link)
What if the ittie bitties hate cheese more than vegetables?

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[info]actress48
2008-05-11 10:55 pm UTC (link)
Well as Rachael would say they are WRONG!!!!!

And didn't you know, it is the parents' fault that the ittie bitties don't like cheese or veggies. This is according to Dr Rachael who is an expert on being a parent even though she has no expertise of any kind in this area. And taking care of a dog doesn't count. I mean she already has sent one dog to the big fire hydrant in the sky.

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[info]greylady2
2008-05-12 01:50 am UTC (link)
Itty bitties? How did Dumbo's boobs get into this?

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[info]glasskarma
2008-05-11 07:34 pm UTC (link)
i can't believe someone had to tape that. i would've been so bored and upset!


also, she's holding a knife like a serial killer, clear sign she knows she's murdering cooking.

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She's an idiot
[info]moronasaurusray
2008-05-11 10:05 pm UTC (link)
And ham steaks need to be fried in olive oil because...?

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Re: She's an idiot
[info]actress48
2008-05-11 11:03 pm UTC (link)
Because Rachael said to. And we all know she learned all her cooking skills at Mamacellos knee. This is probably where she also learned the value of investing in a good kneepad. You never know when a good career advancement opportunity might come up.

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Re: She's an idiot
[info]aznjaykitza
2008-05-12 12:12 am UTC (link)
Because it's healthful so you can have second helpings without feeling guilty dontchaknow?

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Re: She's an idiot
[info]chicky1
2008-05-12 10:27 pm UTC (link)
Because ham is a lean meat, and if you're saving calories on the ham, you can indulge in some EVOO.

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[info]actress48
2008-05-12 01:55 am UTC (link)
And all the olive oil is good for your coat and your feet.


And don't forget when your clothes are so tight that you can no longer feel your legs than you do what Rachael does. You lie, and say you are a size 6. Even though you have to be oiled down and shoe horned into your jeans ever day.
And then you get your testicular challenged hubby to help you get out of them at the end of the day. Even though it physically makes him ill to be that close to your lady bits.

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[info]urpslop
2008-05-12 01:42 pm UTC (link)
Here again we have an example of that lamebrained bitch trying to get us to buy the most expensive cut of meat on Earth, and then ruin it with cooking nontechnique. My family lives for ham, but I have never in my life bought a ham steak. What a waste. If you buy the whole ham you have the potential for all sorts of meals and yummy leftovers. It's just like buying chicken tenders, or already peeled jumbo shrimp. Are her lemmings frigging millionaires? Take the extra time and save some money, you lazy whore.

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[info]chef4real
2008-05-12 06:53 pm UTC (link)
Happy Mother's Day Grey! I am happy to see you back. Have you completed your move to LA? I hope all is well with you. I still have not heasrd from you via email, but I guess you are busy and all.

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