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The Queer by Choice Community
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| collected |
[Jul. 18th, 2009|07:15 pm] |
Today I made biscuits using the recipe that ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) several_bees kindly passed on to me a few days ago. They contain crystallised ginger and chocolate chips, and they are nummy. They melt in the mouth beautifully. I had lots of fun beating sugar into butter and separating eggs and such. It all made me feel rather better. :)
Tomorrow I am going to the Brooklands Aero Auto Jumble. Yeah, I know, it really looks like my kind of thing, eh? My dad has hundreds of 60s car brochures that he collected as a kid, so we’re going to try to flog some of them at this place. We have to be there at 8.20am. ON A SUNDAY.
Ophelia Xx
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 18th, 2009|12:34 pm] |
I woke up midway through a dream where I was kissing someone that I'm kind of stupid-madly in love with in real life, and so when I woke up he wasn't there, of course.
So I rolled over and grabbed my notebook and started scribbling something-or-other, half-awakishly writing about the dream and how beautiful it was and how I really need to just tell him, blah blah blah.
I live on the ground floor of a building halfway between a really nice neighborhood and a really shitty neighborhood. My bedroom window is in the really shitty neighborhood. Whatever crazy shit people are up to in the back alley...they're basically doing it IN MY BEDROOM. All the trash and drugs and drama and honking...that's going on in my BEDROOM.
I don't really feel like dealing with moving, again...but logically, that's what I should do. My lease is up in October. This would be the time to start looking. But I feel like the whole process of moving right now would just blow me up with the awareness of how fucking alone I am here, and I'm not confident I'd find somewhere to live that's better than this.
I was lamenting to a friend that I feel like Oscar the Grouch today, and I remarked that it's no wonder he's such a grouch; he wakes up in a trash can ever day.
Then I looked at where I live, and it's no wonder I'm such a grouch either. |
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| true adventures in purple hair |
[Jul. 17th, 2009|06:37 pm] |
Today was very nice out, so I went for a walk.
Someone was playing loud rap music, not infrequent in this neighborhood. The car blasting the music stopped at the light at the corner of 16th and Central as I was passing that corner.
Except, the light was green.
"Hey, brotha!" someone in the car hollered, and I turned to see if I was the brotha being addressed. I was.
There were at least five large black men in this car. All of them leaned out of or in the direction of the windows on my side. "YOU HAVE GREAT HAIR!!" they all yelled.
"Thanks!" I said, grinning.
"Takes some balls to pull off that color!" one of them said. "Nice purple!" He gave me a thumbs-up. I gave him a thumbs-up back. They zoomed off.
I walked another half-block. An older guy approached me, stroking his long white beard in an obvious attempt to communicate something to me. "I'm sorry?" I said, indicating that I could not understand him.
"How long did it take you to grow that beard?" was his question.
"Uhhhh...maybe a month, six weeks?"
"Good job! Very good job," he said. (See?! What did I tell you?!)
"Uhhh...thanks!" I said.
He grabbed my hand and shook it. "Tom Patterson, that's my name. I'm 62 years old today!" He did not let go of my hand.
"Nice to meet you, I'm Oliver."
"Where do you go to church, son? You go to church, right?" He still had a grip on my hand. I pointed, with my free hand, in the general direction of the Jesus MCC. "I knew it! You're a good Christian boy. I can see the Light of Jesus in you! The Lord hath blessed you mightily!"
I smiled at him. "God bless you too, Tom Patterson. And happy birthday!"
"Yes, it's true," he said, "I can see the Light of Jesus in you, son. That's why you made your hair that color. THE LIGHT OF THE LORD JESUS OUR SAVIOR IS SHINING OUT THE TOP OF YOUR HEAD!!"
The Light of the Lord Jesus our Savior is shining out the top of my head!
I wasn't really sure what to say! So I just kept on grinning at him!
Finally, he patted me on the shoulder. "So...can you spare five bucks? I need to catch a bus, ain't got no money."
I didn't have a penny on me to give him. :( |
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| seasonal |
[Jul. 17th, 2009|09:43 pm] |
I accept that I have been cheating on the haiku front. As well as having a 5/7/5 syllable structure, a haiku should also feature a seasonal reference, and a sense of enlightenment or realisation.
Like spring wildflowers,
Infinite varieties
Of tampons abound.
Oh yeah, and while we’re about it, I am troubled by this picture that my weather forecast widget displays when rain is expected.
Why is it raining under the umbrella?
Ophelia Xx
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| tarot readings! |
[Jul. 17th, 2009|07:45 am] |
I am offering Tarot readings again!
Please let me know if you are interested. If you have a specific question, or if you just want a general reading, let me know that. I appreciate it a lot if you can pay for the reading, and offer a sliding scale with adjustments for the size of the reading you're requesting.
I may be able to accept trade offers; feel free to ask. I'd be more interested in trading for services than for "stuff", so if you have some neat talent or skill you'd like to offer in exchange for a reading, let me know.
I am also (as always!) happy to offer massage/bodywork sessions if you are reasonably local (or if we work out for me to come visit you :D), and distance healing sessions if you are not. I would LOVE to schedule a few distance healing clients over the next few weeks, so please let me know if you are interested and I'll get you on the calendar right away! |
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| Drink up, me hearties, yo ho! |
[Jul. 17th, 2009|01:35 pm] |
| [ | Tags | | | potc | ] |
| [ | mood |
| |  enthralled | ] |
So, why am I the last person on earth getting into Pirates of the Caribbean?
Because I'm a pretentious elitist and so called "Blockbusters" are totally beneath me. That's my story and I'm sticking to it. What? It's not like I can admit I'm scared of skeletons. *hides under couch*
But seriously, sure pirates are cool, I'll give you that, as long as you don't force me to talk like them. Zombie pirates on the other hand? Eeeww! Takes the cool right out of it for me. Maybe if the promotion of the movie hadn’t put so much emphasize on the scary parts and the effects I could have been persuaded to watch it in the cinema, put as it were not even Johnny Depp was enough to make me want to (*dons monocle*: I like him better in serious roles anyway).
After the end of the trilogy my sister got all the DVDs but I still refused to watch it. We all know how it worked out when she forced me to watch Harry Potter. This all shouldn’t necessarily keep me from PotC fandom, since I often come to my fandom’s via online fandom, especially fanfiction and not canon. After all, it has been six years for this franchise.
The few stories I stumbled over on LJ or elsewhere weren’t able to set the spark off either though. Might be because for some reason I kept stumbling over very strange pairings like Will/Davy (tentacle porn is good, but without context that was a bit odd) and the major slash pairing Will/Jack didn’t interest me at all. (We all have our biases and about Turrow mine was: ‘Oh please, if you like the idea of Orlando Bloom and Johnny Depp fucking, just get over yourself and write RPS about them!’ Kind off mean I know.)
( So how did I get into it anyway... ) |
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| operations |
[Jul. 17th, 2009|09:50 am] |
So just after quite an interesting discussion about “feminine hygiene” products over on xandratheblue’s blog, my free samples of Tampax’ new tampons arrived.
Personally, I don’t really get applicator tampons. I guess they might be a good idea for young girls, but generally speaking it seems to be a lot of extra cost and packaging just so that I don’t have to touch my ladyparts. Frankly, I get a sneaking suspicion that this sort of thing contributes to the misconception that vulvae are icky and gross, and I have no time for all that nonsense.
Anyway, I now have 11 samples of Tampax Pearl, an astonishingly wasteful new applicator tampon that has a “super-smooth, pearlescent” plastic applicator instead of a cardboard one. Apparently, “clunky cardboard tampons are a thing of the past”. Quite why one would give a rat’s arse about whether the applicator is pearlescent when one is going to stick it in one’s fanny, bleed on it a bit, and then throw it away, I have no idea, but I guess they’ve done their market research, right? On the upside, if I do decide to carry these things around with me, at least I won’t have to mess up a perfectly good biro to perform one of those spontaneous tube-in-a-hole-in-the-throat operations on a dying friend.
(I hate the marketing of period-related goods. I would pay good money for a brand that was all “So you’re bleeding from your genitals, eh? Here’s some stuff to stop you from ruining your clothes.” Actually, to be fair, Mooncup’s marketing spiel is pretty down-to-earth, and actually about the business of how the thing works and why it’s good, rather than wittering on about taking control, or beating Mother Nature, or feeling feminine all month round, or having a happy fucking period.)
The main reason I mention this is that as well as 11 free samples of Tampax Pearl, I have 11 free-fast-track-entry-for-two passes to Oceana and Liquid clubs around the UK, that expire at the end of September. If you want a pass, just ask. You can have a free sample box of Tampax Pearl, too, if you want.
Ophelia Xx
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| wicked |
[Jul. 17th, 2009|08:43 am] |
A flying creature
Had its wicked way with my
Thigh. I have been nommed.
Ophelia Xx
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| An Odd Sort of Liberation |
[Jul. 16th, 2009|10:56 pm] |
I just un-came out to my professors, i.e., I emailed them asking to go back to being called Ellen. In some ways, this "uncoming out" is a lot more liberating than any other coming out.
The text of my email is below the cut.
( Read more... )
Also, check out my Flickr (http://www.flickr.com/naturalog) to see pretty pictures. Mostly of yarn, though, but there are some of other things. Like flowers. And buildings.
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 16th, 2009|05:14 pm] |
I'm at work today and my supervisor asks me to sit down. That is never really a good sign.
She started out, "You didn't do anything..." and I panicked for a minute because my typical day involves about 15-30 minutes of work and the rest of reading news and looking busy. She continues, "...wrong. And this is not a reflection on your work or anything, but..." long story short, there is A LOT less work now than when I was hired, so they can't really justify keeping me on. Honestly, I've seen this coming since the president of the company met me/didn't like me (I guess I wasn't smiley enough? Fuck you sexist standards.) and I'm not too torn up about it.
It sucks because as of July 30th, I won't have a job, but I'm getting an awesome recommendation out of it and it's forcing me to do something about getting another job when I've been bored with mine and it hasn't been fulfilling my financial needs.
I do have an interview tomorrow (this crazy 2 hour interview) and a friend offered me a job as a stock person at a Limited store, so, should I need it, there is work available.
My supervisor was so nice and apologetic about it, too. She even said she was going to miss me. Awwwwwww. I appreciated it, but, again, figured it would happen sooner or later.
So that was my day. I'm fairly indifferent about all this, to be honest. |
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| homowork |
[Jul. 16th, 2009|01:35 pm] |
I hung out with a new friend last night!
My new friend has given me homework. (Perhaps it is finally appropriate that I cannot type the word "homework", invariably spelling it "homowork".) My assignment is to make a list of criteria for someone I would want to date.
We were discussing this last night, and she asked me what I was looking for in a significant other, and I was like "uhhhhhh I dunno".
I had a list, a long time ago, but (a) that was a long time ago and (b) I left it on a train in Boston somewhere.
So now I need to think about what should go on my list.
Also, I'm going to make a new OKCupid profile; not necessarily for dating purposes, but not necessarily not for dating purposes either. I need a new username for that. Obviously, "choirqueer" is already taken. Help? |
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| whimsically |
[Jul. 16th, 2009|12:21 pm] |
I was vaguely considering writing a post about things that I like and don’t like about point-and-click adventure games, but we covered that a bit in comments the other day, so instead, I am going to show you one of my favourite Flash P&Cs. If you guys seem interested I’ll tell you about some of my other favourites. :)
Windosill by Patrick Smith
Patrick Smith is the creator of the whimsically spooky Vector Park, which launched a few years ago with various Flash toys, one or two of which could legitimately be called games. Subsequently he added more of the same (all of which can be accessed from the Vector Park site), the most recent being the simply beautiful Windosill, half of which is free to download or play online (the full version being available for a $3 fee, currently about £1.90). I paid for an activation code before I had even looked at the first half, because I like Patrick Smith’s work and frankly I was willing to make a donation to the good man for his previous games, even if Windosill were to turn out a disappointment. Fortunately, it didn’t. :)
You play a small, boxy, train-like vehicle that you can roll along the ground by dragging with your mouse, and you manipulate the world by pulling levers and knobs, poking things, yanking bits off objects, &c. Your goal, such as it is, is to get the little train out of the right-hand door of each screen and into the next one, but it’s important to grasp that about 70% of the things in Patrick Smith’s Flash fantasy worlds are just there to be lovely toys, not advancing the game “plot” at all. Just because something moves when you poke it doesn’t mean that you need do do anything with it.
Smooth, clean vector graphics are complemented by subtle, minimalist sound effects. Most things make a noise when you prod them, but that amounts to most of the sound apart from some occasional background wind or water noises. There is a sort of twisted logic to the game, but to be honest, you will complete it mainly by messing about with the beautiful playthings that Mr Smith has designed for your enjoyment, and happening upon the solution to the screen that way.
The only drawback is that while you are rewarded well for your hard work at the end of the game, because of the virtual absence of plot, you are left feeling slightly disappointed that there isn’t more, and there is no sense of finality. But this is a minor complaint. Windosill is just what a Flash game should be. It does not have ideas above its station; it wouldn’t really work as a more ambitious, plot-driven game, so it doesn’t feel like the designer was only made it because they didn’t have the budget or the skills to make a full-scale adventure game. It is supremely pretty. The interface is delightfully innovative. It has a modicum of replay value.
(Btw, corlimey, I have bought The Longest Journey on eBay—looking forward to playing!)
Ophelia Xx
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| ROCK CLIMBING - This Saturday, NOT being organised |
[Jul. 16th, 2009|08:14 pm] |
Hey folks.
I'm still suffering bronchitis, and cannot go organise climbing on Saturday. Headed out last Sat and made myself violently ill, and that's continued. So neither I nor Chaos will be heading out, as, selfishly, I'm having him take care of me :) He's good at it!
Now if others want to go, they should! We just won't be there. |
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| Stardust in the Fireplace |
[Jul. 15th, 2009|11:56 pm] |
| [ | Tags | | | photographs | ] |
| [ | mood |
| |  confused | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Family Guy | ] |
Me: Why does Stardust do that?
Susan: Because she's your cat.
Me: I don't sit in the fireplace.
Susan: Only because you don't fit.
Me: Oh.
Over the course of my lifetime, I've had 14 cats. Stardust is the only one of them who has taken to wandering into the fireplace. She does it rather regularly. Tonight she sat there for about 10 to 15 minutes, looking around and sniffing everything before casually wandering back out again. Are there other cats who behave this way?
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| An insightful reflection on gender from Penny Arcade |
[Jul. 15th, 2009|09:15 pm] |
The box of Dwarven Forge stuff I ordered showed up yesterday, and when Kara saw it she told me it looked like a dollhouse for boys. I laughed and explained that it was actually tactical terrain for building utilizable dioramas.
This afternoon as I was placing the tiny mugs of ale in the tavern I had built, my mind drifted back to her words from yesterday. I shook my head to clear the thought. Come on, this is clearly not a dollhouse. I chuckled softly to myself as I placed the miniature basket of butter-horns on one of the wooden tables. Dollhouses are for girls. |
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| By His Side Is the Warmest, Safest Place I've Ever Been |
[Jul. 15th, 2009|05:04 pm] |
Jesse pointed out that I go off the rocker regularly. He's kind of right about that.
It's true that I went off the deep end. I knew that much while it was happening.
But there are things that Zac and I needed to work at. And I was justified in being upset, I think, even though I also think that he and I are just going to have to adapt to the way we're different. I was so over the top yesterday and the past few days. Part of the stress could come from the economic harshness I've been dealing with this week.
Anyway, Zarah took me last night to the local middle eastern place for dinner and then we went to see Sunset Boulevard in Grant Park, which many of you will mostly know as the site of the Buckingham Fountain and Lollapalooza. It was my first movie in the park experience and at first it just seemed a little crazy to me that people actually do these things. That you have all these people crammed around this screen where you can barely see it because you didn't get there early enough to get a good spot and the economy prevents you from buying those goofy chairs they sell at Walgreens for ten dollars. And of course the fact that people take their children to a 9PM showing of SUNSET BOULEVARD of all things was a little surreal. There was kind of a neat atmosphere though. By the end of it I was pretty well enchanted. I mean, it's really beautiful down there at night and there was such a peaceful atmosphere there even with all of those people. So then I felt like walking and I particularly felt like walking up toward Chicago and Wells, aka the vicinity of Zac's restaurant, a French restaurant on Bastille Day. So Zarah and I walked up Michigan Avenue to Chicago and then over to the Chicago red line stop where she left off from. And the walk did me well and for the first time in several days I looked at Zac without feeling ambivalent. The title of this post is derived from the subject line of the email I sent him the other day where I talked about my concerns.
Anyway, we had a nice night in his empty restaurant. We drank kir royales and french martinis and something the british soldiers made with champagne and cognac and lemons and sugar. And then he persuaded me to try some caviar because, he said, it was just eggs. I wasn't sure about the moral implications of caviar but I was drunk and I ate some on some sort of bread type thing and suddenly I was throwing up. It was not glamorous. I still feel hungover tonight. Though I'm finally starting to feel better.
We had a nice day of cuddling and napping and then we both had to work the afternoon shift today. I found that feeling again that I couldn't find the other day. I was worried I'd not get back that feeling for him. He's really sweet though. He didn't even get mad at me for reading his email. ;) |
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| Any list that has "Move On Up" at #180... |
[Jul. 15th, 2009|04:48 pm] |
...has real issues, but still, this is awful handy for hunting down songs on Youtube.
If anyone loves this music the way I do (or loves it a bit less, or a bit more...) feel free to check out/enjoy/agree with/disagree with the playlist of awesome (mostly) Northern Soul that I'm slowly compiling right here. There's a lot of obvious stuff that's missing, I know, but anything that any of the Northern Soul fans on my list think is missing is welcome in the comments. Anything danceable in the way these songs are is desired!!
And while we're on the subject, I want money so I can buy stuff like this and this. |
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| For my reference |
[Jul. 15th, 2009|04:19 pm] |
\.setObject *\([a-zA-Z0-9, "\.]*biFormatName[ "]*\)
Finds all calls of .setObject where the element was biFormatName, no matter what resultset or how the element name was expressed (explicit reference to BiReposConstants or not, quoted string or not).
Regular expressions syntax reference |
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| poisoning |
[Jul. 15th, 2009|08:41 pm] |
I am coveting Waterhouse posters now. I would particularly like a Circe of my very own:
( Circe Invidiosa )
She’s pissed off with some ocean god, so she’s poisoning the sea. She looks insanely angry. <3 This was probably my favourite, although I did rather like seeing The Lady of Shalott up close. Not a small onion in sight. Oh, also, Mariamne was spectacular. And St Eulalia. Psht, it was all lovely.
So yeah, amuchmoreexotic and I saw super-pretty Waterhouse paintings! Many of them. At the Royal Academy. If you can go, you should. Mention the Foyles promotion to get £2 off your ticket price.
ETA: OH YEAH I forgot to tell you what Circe’s poison will do. It will turn the bottom half of Scylla (Circe’s rival for the attentions of the ocean god) into a pack of dogs. Srsly. Pretty neat poison, eh?
Ophelia Xx
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| paint |
[Jul. 15th, 2009|08:25 pm] |
Mr Waterhouse
Was careful never to paint
Too many nipples.
ETA: Forgot to mention that amuchmoreexotic contributed a portion of his creative genius to the development of this masterpiece of lyrical literature.
Ophelia Xx
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| male privilege |
[Jul. 15th, 2009|02:31 pm] |
Another FTM friend mentioned to me yesterday that he is aware now of receiving male privilege, which he (presumably) did not receive when he was perceived as female. This got me to thinking.
I know that one of the major characteristics of privilege is that the person receiving it is supposed to be unaware that they are receiving it. But, that said, I've looked pretty hard, and I'm pretty sure I'm not receiving it. In contrast with white privilege, which I definitely receive and wouldn't even remotely try to question whether or not I receive it...I really do not see any circumstance in which I am significantly advantaged being perceived as male than I was being perceived as female, and in fact I can point to a long list of situations in which being perceived as male is a significant disadvantage and substantially inhibits what I can or cannot do in social or professional circumstances.
So, I'm interested to hear other people's takes on this. This is a perfectly acceptable opportunity to tell me "Hey, have you noticed that you receive male privilege in [insert circumstance here]?" -- if I'm actually receiving male privilege, I would like to know about it! This is also a good opportunity to say "I know that I have received male privilege in [insert circumstance here]", especially if "male" isn't the only gender you have presented as and you have a basis for comparison (but even if you don't, your experiences are still welcome!) Discussions of situations in which women receive privilege that men don't are also welcome here; I'm not going to initiate them myself, but if you've got thoughts on that matter, bring it on.
To be clear: I'm not questioning whether or not male privilege exists. I'm trying to figure out whether I'm getting any, or if it maybe got lost in the....male. ;-) |
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| this and that |
[Jul. 15th, 2009|11:16 am] |
being home is good.
we're leaving for the airport in 45 minutes. i suppose that means i ought to be packing this computer already.
joflo and i saw HP6 in IMAX 3-D at a 4am showing. the plan for me was to nap earlier in the evening, wake up at 1:30, go to manhattan to see the movie, come home, garden, take a shower, get a haircut, and finish packing. this is to make it so that i have really no choice but to sleep on the airplane, thereby reducing jet-lag.
i liked the movie. ( no real spoilers here, but i'll be extra-cautious for y'all )
25 minutes till the cab arrives. eep! must pack up computer and get downstairs to eat a yogurt or something.
love to all. i'll likely post from rome sometime in the next few days.
also, being home has been good for me thus far. |
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| the whys of relationships / have reached a plateau, am frustrated! want to see a place to grow! |
[Jul. 15th, 2009|11:00 am] |
 This is probably a completely incoherent entry -- even though it asks a lot of questions it asks none of them well, so consider them rhetorical. :-p
I've been thinking about the nature of relationships (both platonic and romantic) lately. I define a relationship as a connection between two people, deliberately deepened by sharing time, energy, and thoughts/feelings. And what is the point of relationships? I think that is the part that confuses me because I used to have really clear goals in my relationships. Goals like learning to trust and learning how to be honest and open and learning how to give&require respect. Now I've pretty much got that down and I don't know where to go from there. I don't have an easy WHY for any of my relationships, other than wanting to learn everything about everyone, and that's really unfocused and makes me feel like I'm stagnating.
( looking for a new focus )
Maybe it's something to do with my spirituality, integrating that more into my relationships. I've been feeling directionless there too. On a whim the other day I went to my old church for just a taste of communal love and even the worship had gone utterly stale. Which is to be expected since the leader has gone deeper and deeper into ridiculous dogma, but still shocking because I'd always felt magic in the worship. |
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