Ophelia ([info]ophe1ia_in_red) wrote in [info]queerchoice,
@ 2007-05-27 22:14:00
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queer
I started a Facebook thread about queer choice which has got rather heated.  Some of the stuff people have said has really made me worry - do I have any right to call myself bisexual at all?  If I do, do I have to agree that it was not a conscious choice for me?  I don't want to do either of those things.

I'm not proud of having chosen to be bisexual, but I'm also not willing to give up being bisexual because it was a choice.

Ah, thank you, QueerByChoice.com, for existing.

Ophelia Xx


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[info]queerbychoice
2007-05-27 10:24 pm UTC (link)
If everyone who considered their queerness a choice had been somehow harassed into choosing to be straight again, the queer community would have been deprived of:
* the first multi-issue queer periodical in the world (founded in Germany Germany in 1896 by the vocally queer by choice Adolf Brand, and titled Der Eigene, which is German for The Self-Owner and referred to having the self-possession to recognize one's right to choose to be queer)

* the second queer-rights organization in the world (founded in 1903, also by Adolf Brand, and named Der Eigenen, which is German for The Society of Self-Owners)

* the entire lesbian-feminist movement of the 1970s, because it was based on promoting the idea of lesbianism as a feminist choice

* various prominent lesbian-feminists like Rita Mae Brown and Adrienne Rich (who have both stated that they chose to be lesbians)

* and at least most of the queer people whose names are listed in this community's interests list.
In short, anyone who claims queer by choice people have no right to be queer at all is woefully ignorant of how much worse off the queer community would be without us. :-) Welcome to the community!

Oh, and are you the same person who emailed me about that same Facebook thread yesterday? I hadn't gotten around to answering the email yet.

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[info]ophe1ia_in_red
2007-05-28 08:49 am UTC (link)
I am that same person - sorry to inundate you, but I was just so unbelievably pleased to find your community. It is a huge relief to know I'm not alone. I certainly don't want to be straight again, but I do have a lot of guilt about my choice. I'm hoping that hanging out here will make me feel better about things :) Thank you so much for maintaining this community and your wonderful website.

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[info]krazyhippie
2007-05-28 12:46 am UTC (link)
Why aren't you proud of it?

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[info]ophe1ia_in_red
2007-05-28 08:50 am UTC (link)
Because I made the choice for the wrong reasons - I was suffering from depression at the time and needed an explanation for my feelings, and I chose lesbianism. Of course, eventually I realised that there are lots more advantages and good reasons for being bisexual, and I am very glad of who I am :)

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[info]krazyhippie
2007-05-28 03:01 pm UTC (link)
gotcha :)

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[info]playingbyheart
2007-05-28 08:50 pm UTC (link)
there are a few different ways to look at sexuality, but i think it's hypocritical of people who say they were "born that way" to look down on those of us who are, perhaps "queer by choice." The way I see it is that everyone is bisexual from the get-go, and some people, through environmental or perhaps biological reasons, lean one way or the other. Most people, though, are somewhere in the middle. So while most people are "straight by choice," others of us are open to our attractions outside of societal norms. You have every right to call yourself bisexual. If you like women and men, then you're bisexual. It's just a choice to acknowledge it.

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