Community Profile

Welcome to queer_ldr! Intros are encouraged but not required.

This is a support group for queer identified folks in long distance relationships. That includes straight-identified people who are in relationships that they consider queer. It also includes poly relationships, not just couples.

Please note: This is not a place to find dates or relationships. There are plenty of personals communities on LJ, including queer ones. Additionally, FTM-spectrum Trans folks, or those looking to date them, can use http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ftm_personals/ .

I'm a queer FTM Trans guy in a relationship with another Trans guy. I created this community because of my profound disappointment with a specific LDR support community I found on LJ. They all seem overwhelmingly straight, and while they had no problem with the presence of queer couples, the posts were generally from girls talking about how they missed their boyfriends but were so frustrated that their boyfriends didn't get them good enough gifts and asking if that's a guy thing. I got very frustrated very fast there and didn't feel comfortable at all.

(I would like to note, however, that loversfaraway, while still mostly straight people, is fantastic and I found it to be very supportive. I still want a space for queer people in LDRs to discuss issues specific to them, though.)

I really want this community to get beyond gender stereotypes, beyond conversations about marriage, beyond heterosexism and cisgenderism (is that a word?) in general. I want to hear discussions about what it means to be a LGBTIQQXYZ person in a long-distance relationship; coming-out issues, dealing with the multiple stigmas of being queer (and, if applicable, Trans/Intersex/poly/kinky/etc.) and in a long-distance relationship, etc.

If you and your partner(s) consider your relationship queer, welcome. I really want to have a strong Trans presence here, but I don't want the community to be Trans-only.

Community Rules (in no particular order):
1.) No personal attacks on others.
2.) Please speak from your own experiences and avoid speaking for others.
3.) Constructive criticism of something that someone else says is fine; flat-out insulting someone is not.
4.) Transphobia and biphobia of any kind will not be tolerated here, nor will prejudice against any generalised group of people (i.e. homophobia/heterosexism, racism, classism, sexism, etc.)
5.) Particularly long posts and any images should use a cut tag or the post will be deleted.
6.) Do not change the size or colour of the text in your post. It makes your post more difficult to read and does not make anyone more likely to read it. Similarly, bold, italic, and underline are used to add emphasis to specific bits of text; do not use any of them on your entire post. This defeats their purpose and has the same effect as changing the size or colour of your text. Posts which violate this rule will be given 24 hours to edit their post, after which time it will be removed.
7.) If you have a response to a specific post, respond in the comments section of that post; do not make a new post to follow up on any discussion that is less than a week old. Similarly, don't continue conversations from a previous post in someone else's unrelated post.
8.) Please keep posts at least somewhat related to queer long-distance relationships.
9.) Advertisements for other (related) groups are welcome.
10.) Posts that are greatly off-topic or that advertise irrelevant communities will be removed.
11.) Anything sexually explicit and/or not work safe should be behind a cut tag, with a note in front of the tag indicating why it's been cut. Links to sites, communities, etc. that are sexually explicit and/or not work safe should be indicated as such.
12.) Posts to non-age-restricted communities, comments in others' journals, and default userpics should be kept free of explicit content. (from http://www.livejournal.com/support/faqbrowse.bml?faqid=112 )
13.) Posts or comments that contain blatant hate speech will be removed. Individuals who post hate speech will be warned twice, and on the third occasion will be banned. Additionally, the need for everyone to feel respected and supported is more important here than the need for someone to try to be funny by making fun of others, whether directly or indirectly. Comments or posts that serve no purpose but to make fun of others will be treated as hate speech.
14.) Please do not screen or disable comments on any post. Individuals who have screened the comments on their post, will be reminded of this rule and given the chance to correct it. Posts with comments disabled will be removed immediately.

This community is moderated by ftmichael.

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