I once met a man who was a devout Calvinist. Personally, I always preferred Hobbes.
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punny business
groanery store
02 July 2009 @ 10:49 pm
Working my way through "American Gods" for the umpteenth time I felt it was my duty to post Mad Sweeney's crass little gem
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( Read more... )
02 July 2009 @ 06:00 pm
To the worm, the crow is so considerate to announce its hostile intention rather than cawlessly killing.
30 June 2009 @ 09:52 pm
I have a slow computer. The other day, my roommate was talking about my computer, and referred to it as a " 'puter ," pronounced "pewter." So I said, " 'Puter? No wonder it's so slow - I need to get the lead out!"
28 June 2009 @ 02:23 pm
Should have picked a better name for their merger:
BBC NEWS | Business | Gazprom seals $2.5bn Nigeria deal
(credit: gillen)
BBC NEWS | Business | Gazprom seals $2.5bn Nigeria deal
(credit: gillen)
28 June 2009 @ 10:47 am
My church is renovating and expanding its pipe organ. At the service this morning, our priest asked for volunteers next weekend to remove the large pipes. They'll be carefully packed up and trucked to Connecticut, where they'll be renovated and then brought back.
The priest concluded by saying, "It's kind of like an organ transplant."
The priest concluded by saying, "It's kind of like an organ transplant."
26 June 2009 @ 05:50 pm
An Englishman walks into a pub and spots a Scotsman with a steering column coming out of his testicles. Curious, the Englishman walks over to the Scotsman and asks, "Why do you have a steering column coming out of your testicles, sir?"
The Scotsman replies, "Aye, laddie, I dunnae, but it's drivin' me nuts!"
The Scotsman replies, "Aye, laddie, I dunnae, but it's drivin' me nuts!"
26 June 2009 @ 04:49 pm
I was over at a friend's house, and he ceremoniously showed me a small bone. "What is it?" I asked him.
"It's the left patella of Edgar Allen Poe, which is a curiosity because it's significantly smaller than his right patella was."
I thought about this. "Wait, so you mean--"
"Yes! It's my little Poe knee."
"It's the left patella of Edgar Allen Poe, which is a curiosity because it's significantly smaller than his right patella was."
I thought about this. "Wait, so you mean--"
"Yes! It's my little Poe knee."
25 June 2009 @ 11:33 pm
I heard Michael Jackson died of cardiac arrest. Seems God finally got enough evidence to issue a warrant.
24 June 2009 @ 09:04 am
23 June 2009 @ 06:59 am
22 June 2009 @ 11:04 pm
my girlfriend told me she'd made a toasted sandwich using a foccacia (which she pronounced "focker-chia" for some reason).
I blinked at her and said "I thought a 'focker-chia' was a plane covered in grass"
and then she hit me.
(sigh)
I blinked at her and said "I thought a 'focker-chia' was a plane covered in grass"
and then she hit me.
(sigh)
22 June 2009 @ 02:21 am
"Did you think Hong Kong was the best of the East? Obviously you don't have any Seoul." --askmen.com
21 June 2009 @ 09:39 pm
19 June 2009 @ 10:18 am
I just saw a business card advertising "On-Sight Massage." I guess you don't need an appointment, they just start massaging as soon as they see you.
17 June 2009 @ 06:13 pm
If the Pill and Condoms are called Contraceptives then Pills for Headache should probably be referred to as Ceptives.
13 June 2009 @ 07:31 pm
build a man a fire, and he´ll be warm for a day.
set him on fire and he´ll be warm for the rest of his life.
set him on fire and he´ll be warm for the rest of his life.
13 June 2009 @ 05:41 pm
10 June 2009 @ 11:32 am
09 June 2009 @ 03:15 pm
I have just met a lovely lady from Oregon, I'm in the UK, I was really tempted to asked if locals call themselves Oreganos.
Current Mood: geeky
Current Music: Debbie gibson - Electric Youth