FIC: "Does This Mean We're Dating?" PG Shawn/Gus
Title: Does This Mean We're Dating?
Author: Fearless_Jones
Rating: PG
Pairing: Shawn/Gus
Summary: Shawn and Gus have a discussion in the Psych office; real anger is averted and hot dogs are mentioned.
Disclaimer: These characters are not mine! I'm just a fan having way too much fun.
Notes: Minor spoilers for Speak Now Or Forever Hold Your Piece. Thanks to everyone who liked the last fic! Your comments were lovely!



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"I still can't believe you caught the bouquet!" Shawn shook his head and grinned as he rapidly worked the controls of the office Playstation.

Gus glared at him from behind the workplace's only functional desk.

"I still can't believe that you actually wrote out my wedding vows." He'd been amazed at how proudly and eagerly his best friend had pulled them out of a junk-filled drawer to show him.

Green eyes remained riveted to the television. "I'm a good friend, Gus, what can I say?"

Except for rapid-fire blipping and beeping sounds emanating from the TV set, the office settled into relative silence. Gus, deep in thought, tapped a newly sharpened pencil in an unsteady rhythm on the desk.

"Hey, Shawn?"

"Yeah?"

"What happens if I never use these vows?"

Shawn pressed the pause key on his game and craned his head to the side to better see his friend.

"Like, if you have a different kind of wedding or something?"

Gus shook his head. "No, what I meant was—"

"Dude, I've got it all taken care of," Shawn said, smugly going back to his game.

"I wanted to have all my bases covered, so I wrote them to be modified for any ceremony. Besides, I figured there was a good chance of you being gay, so it just made sense to make them suitable for an 'alternative' wedding."

Gus' mouth dropped open and, for a moment, he briefly considered stabbing his friend with a bright yellow #2 pencil.

"What?! I meant, what will you do with the vows if I decide to remain a bachelor my whole life? Not what will you do if I'm gay!"

Shawn shrugged, apparently disinterested in the direction the conversation was going.

"Oh. Well, it doesn't matter much to me."

Shawn's blasé reply angered an already peeved Gus. Now that the insinuation had been made, the worry took hold of him like a flea to a dog.

"So now you think I'm gay?" Gus accused, after a moment of self-reflection. He looked stricken with sudden horror. "I don't look gay, do I? Like, flamingly?"

Gus could see Shawn's eyebrows rise from across the room.

"Isn't that a bit homophobic of you?"

Getting to his feet, Gus made his stance as no-nonsense as possible. He walked over to his friend, blocking the view of the TV screen.

"Seriously, Shawn, I have to know now!"

Shawn tossed the game controller onto the empty desk next to him and patted the couch cushion on his right. The other man eyed him warily, but sat down despite his better judgment.

"You're metrosexual, Gus," Shawn began slowly, as though speaking to a slow child.

"But there's nothing wrong with that, of course. So you like your designer shirts? Who cares! Lots of men like designer dress shirts...gay men and metrosexuals, for instance."

Brown eyes nearly disappeared in a glare usually fatal to anyone other than Shawn. Abruptly, Gus dropped his head down to his hands.

"Oh, no," mumbled Gus from somewhere between his kneecaps. "No wonder I can't get a girlfriend."

Gus felt a warm and comforting arm circling his back. "Aw, it's ok, Gus, you always have me."

Tilting his head to look upwards at his friend, Gus couldn't help but continue glaring. Why must he sound so happy about everything all the time?

"You are not even remotely a girl, Shawn. Please don't joke around about my apparent blinding gayness."

"But I would make an excellent boyfriend!" Shawn exclaimed, punching Gus's arm for emphasis. "I'm charming and witty and I own my own business!"

"We are best friends, man, but we are not going to date. Trust me on this."

Gus definitely didn't appreciate being told, first of all, that he was apparently very gay, and second of all, that his best friend thought himself a good candidate for his first foray into homosexuality. Sighing, Gus leaned back into the couch and covered his head with a pillow. Maybe, if he were lucky, he'd slowly suffocate and finally end his misery.

"Is it because you're afraid of commitment?" Shawn asked, his voice nearly dripping with sympathy.

"No, Shawn."

A moment of consideration, then: "Are you scared to come out of your fabulous closet?"

"NO, Shawn."

"Is it because you're afraid that if our romantic relationship fails, we will lose the beautiful friendship we've forged over a lifetime?"

The pillow slowly slid off of Gus's face, leaving only wide brown eyes and a very puzzled expression.

"What? No, Shawn! It's because I know you."

A quizzical look was directed at him, so he continued.

"You're childish and impulsive and you do everything in your power to make me nervous and angry. You constantly ask me for favors and impose on me in every way possible. You even steal the food from my 'fridge!"

"I get hungry, Gus!" Shawn shouted, hands wildly gesturing. "By the way, you really need to stock up on that yogurt with the little crunchy granola bits in it. That stuff is tasty."

"You see what I mean?" Gus whined.

"Yes, yes, I see what you mean. But we really would make an amazing couple. We're already work partners, which is a total bonus! We could ask for all kinds of domestic partnership stuff."

Suddenly, he gasped.

"Oooh! And the next time Lassiter roughs me up, we could claim discrimination!"

Gus rolled his eyes and tried to keep his anger under control. He thought lovingly of the sweet, life saving, candy colored pills currently in his sample case.

"Oh, I get it now. You want to date me for cash and prizes."

"Weren't you listening? It's a bonus, Gus. A bonus!"

"In addition to what?"

"To having hot, spontaneous office sex with me on a regular basis, of course."

Gus tried Lamaze breathing, to no avail. Instead, he went for his old standby: Sarcasm.

"Oh. You make it all sound so logical. Let me just go grab my rainbow flag and my Cher CDs."

Shawn was silently puzzled for a lengthy moment, sarcasm apparently lost on him.

"But, Gus, you already have your Cher CDs right here on your iPod."

Gus threw the pillow in his friend's face.

"It's pointless to argue with you, isn't it?"

Shawn caught the pillow in midair, and hugged it to his chest.

"Why argue when I made such valid points?" He lifted an eyebrow, waiting for an answer.

"So does this mean we're dating?" Gus asked, looking his friend over carefully. He was almost entirely sure this was one big joke akin to the whole 'I'm-a-psychic-look-at-me!' thing.

Shawn smiled broadly, with a happy gleam in his eyes that was scary to behold.

Gus frowned. "Never mind, I don't want to know what this means. You want to go out for lunch now?"

Leaping up from the couch, Shawn turned and held out his hand to help Gus up.

"Cool, our first date! Can we get hot dogs?"


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