World's Largest Pro Anorexia Site - 24 hr Posting

15 August 2007 @ 12:03 am

DONT TAKE Alli

DO NOT TAKE ALLI
seriously guys this is very important ive heard questions about the new drug on the market ALLI it on here and sadly i left for vaca and couldnt comment but i watned to ASAP because they will NOT WORK FOR YOU they are for obese people and for you guys they woudl just cause whats called 'anal leakage" and its disgusting what happens is you just cant controll your bodily functions if you know what i mean but anyways i KNOW THIS STUFF because my dad is the freaking VP OF THE COMPANY that makes them and he is trying to get the fda to backfire there allowance of the drug. it doesnt help. maybe for obese people but not for you girls no matter how much you way this is for like 300 pound people
SO PLEASE TELL OTHER NOT TO TAKE IT
im going to repost this so if you have to read it again im so sorry but seriously guys its awful dont take it and tell all you know

thanks guys i just care :)

4 comments | leave a comment

15 August 2007 @ 12:08 am

My hair is officially one color.
haha

it's Strawberry Blond.
I say it looks like ash blond but it's strawberry blond.
It's adorable.
I love it.

My head is raw from the bleaching, but I still love it.
My hair dresser is amazing.
And it was all free! Yay!

I also learned that I'm very conceited and selfish.
I would rather have dead/fried hair that looks beautiful
than healthy hair that looks ugly.

I would rather be dead and thin,
than alive and fat.

Anorexia to me is a slow and painful suicide attempt.
And once I realized that, I know that there's NO way I'm ever going to recover.
I want anorexia to be the one that kills me.
No matter how painful it is.

I don't want help.
Because I'm ok with who I am.
I don't want to change...
I look who I am...
and I like that I'm slowly but surely
killing myself...

And knowing that makes me wander why people like me so much.
It's like everywhere I go, people flock to me and my fat ass!!
What's so great about me?

I'm sarcastic.
I think I'm more funny than I really am.
I make the LAMEST jokes EVER!
And I'm tall and fat.

DO you know that the saddest part about me?
I don't hate that I'm fat.
I hate that I'm tall!
If I was short I would be a cute chubby girl.
But because I'm tall, I'm the tall (now blond) fat would be super model.

Grr.

12 comments | leave a comment

15 August 2007 @ 12:18 am

omg i feel AWESOME
havnt really been trying lately eather i just feel so bad about my weight and looks i am just not eating without stressing about it!
or at least havnt eaten since 5 am monday morning and its almost wednesday!

:)

best love and wishes to all

and btw im an awesome listener and if anyone needs to ahve a drama talk im good and love those :)

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15 August 2007 @ 12:22 am

Roommates...

I went out this evening with friends to celebrate first day of classes, and used the opportunity to skip dinner (had some grapes). My new roommate (old friend, new roomie), as we were leaving the final bar, was like, "wow, you didn't eat all night."

Apparently I thought I would get by unnoticed. But as she and I are both on diets, or "a new kick", I imagine she will notice a lot.

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15 August 2007 @ 12:26 am

NEW*

Heya, Im Melodie and ive been bulimic since I was 15 and mild depression which varies from severe to mild.Im 21 now and have semi-recovered on my own. I have anorexic tendencies and still throw up after big meals...well technically I haven't recovered at all, but it was worse than it is now..anyway im rambling. But, feel free to add me cos im new and lookin for friends and support..anyone to talk to and help :-)

Stats
H- 5'11
HW-over 200lbs
CW-148lbs
LW-around 120lbs
GW- 130lbs

Just wondering, how old is everyone around here...just out of curiousty...I feel like an old fart lol.

Current Location: room

Current Music: Gwen Stefani-Don't Get It Twisted

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15 August 2007 @ 12:26 am

So today was day three of fasting and I was doing great. Tempted at times but not touching anything. Well tomorrow I'm having surgery so I ate a tiny bit of chicken and some corn and felt fine and then I was like well your gonna be sleeping alot for the next few days because of the pain pills so you wont be eating so you might as well have some ice cream, so I had the slow churned chocolate ice cream, only 100 calories and now I feel terrible. I just feel it sitting in my stomach. Its disgusting. Ahhhh, I cant wait until this feeling is gone tomorrow.

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15 August 2007 @ 12:47 am

Nobody can help me.

Guys don't read if you don't feel like it, okay?

I actually look fat because i lost a lot of muscle by fasting then gained fat in recovery.

Nobody can come cut my fat off. Noone can use their knifes.

I'm falling in depressions again because i'm gonna leave for holiday to meet for the first time in my life my boyfriend (who i met online) and i went from 84lbs to 94lbs..I'm so embarrased by my fat, disappointed, i'm scared. Excelent. I still have a few days, i'll leave next week.

I don't know how to get read of the fat from my back and arms in this time because FASTING took me here in the first place. God, i must stop fasting:(

I have two weddings to attent. On Wednesday&Friday(day&night) which means non stop moving. I planned to fast and heavy restrict now i'm so confused..I'm fat guys, i just am.

What can i do in a few days?? HELP. PLEASE...

Current Mood:

guilty

Current Music: Placebo - Something rotten

12 comments | leave a comment

15 August 2007 @ 01:02 am

havent been around for a while, but i have a few questions

ok, i know not everyone has this problem, but i have a hard time when i throw up because it always get in my nose, does anyone have any advice.

aside: tonight took a double shot so i could puke up a mistake after another mental breakdown for the week. unfortunately this breakdown turned into some pretty bad cutting. i just feel fat and hate my life.

2 comments | leave a comment

15 August 2007 @ 01:03 am

i just need to tell you guys, that i`ve learned so much from you. and i don`t mean tips/advice how to starve/fast/restrict/purge etc... i`ve been filling up with tolerance, support, exchange of opinions, gentleness, understanding, consolation and so much more. sometimes this seems to be the only place on the surface of earth where people have these feelings.

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15 August 2007 @ 01:14 am

hey!

Hey, i am reeally new to here, and i just wanted to say hi!
i reeeally hope i can get support here cuz i havent found it anywhere else.

i am wanting to lose hopefully 40 to 50 pounds...to begin with at least..
i can never last long enough to lose enough weight, i always binge and never end up losing more that 10 pounds! i am horrible! but how many days do you think i should fast if i want to lose that much?
i know this sounds kinda wannarexic, but i just need advice!

thank you so much for commenting?

and again, HI!

Current Mood:

anxious

4 comments | leave a comment

15 August 2007 @ 01:15 am

Does anyone have any success stories from when they were fasting? What they drank while on the fast? Any advice when on a fast? How much to workout etc?

5 comments | leave a comment

15 August 2007 @ 01:19 am

i make scrapbooks a lot for other people.. not for myself usually..

http://www.scrapbook.com/gallery/source/79830/inspire7.jpg

like that.. (thats not one of my pages by the way..) you know, proper scrapbooks.

sooo.. i'm making myself a scrapbook.. but not a "proper" one. i just want it to be something really.. personal i guess. i want it to kind of reflect me, you know? including the whole ED thing.. but like the deeper side of it. not like, thinspo. okay, so i'm rambling.. but anyway, i just wanted to ask you all if any of you have some sort of book that you keep... & what kinds of things have you decided to put into it?

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15 August 2007 @ 01:20 am

ARGH. My boyfriend came to uni with a french stick, icecreams and a pack of mini hommus tubs.

So i ate about 10cm of the stick with one tub of hommus (prob about 1.5tbsp?) and told him off for not getting skinny hommus. I wish i had the guts to tell him off for bringing food all together!

Why must he make this harder for me, he knows if i eat i'll hate myself.

6 comments | leave a comment

15 August 2007 @ 01:36 am

need help all over again :(

hey ya'll!
ya'll probably don't remember me because i definitely don't recognize anyone, but i used to vent here all the time.
in february this year my parents forced an intervention on me and i actually became quite normal for a bit and managed to only gain 10 pounds in the past 7 months eating about 1700-2200 calories a day and no exersize, the only problem is... now i BINGE! every single night this week i have.. i don't know what to do! all i want is control! and for some reason that which used to be so easy to me is not the hardest thing in the world to do.
i need help! my stomach is so bloated right now.. i dont even want to think about how much i just ate :(

stats:
18 years old
5'9.5"
HW: 155
LW: 110
CW: 120
GW: 115

Current Mood:

embarrassed

8 comments | leave a comment

15 August 2007 @ 02:02 am

( I Cried. )

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15 August 2007 @ 02:05 am

So..
Today I was with my cousin, touring around the country.
Everytime she took a picture she would show me and I wouldnt look.
I cant look.
I 'm so fat.
I'm so ugly.
Anyway, I ended up looking because it was pretty much shoved in my face.
I knew I was fat, but holy mother of god.. the second I saw it... I was.. #@@!$
We were on the train, and I just put my head on the table.. and I wanted to cry so badly. REALLY.
From that second on, I made a promise to myself.. No more. No more. No more.
No more..
I cant anymore..
I cant..
I just cant.

I cant.
I need to lose weight..
I need to.
I cant handle this anymore.

3 comments | leave a comment

15 August 2007 @ 02:06 am

YES!

CW: 133
HW: 175
LW: 118
GW: 110

Today I had to get 3 shots (OW!) and a physical... so I had to be weighed. I stepped on the scale and......... I was 133! I was previously 135! And 170 in April.

So 133 WHILE I'M ON MY PERIOD is damn good.

25 comments | leave a comment

15 August 2007 @ 02:11 am

SO...reasons i should NOT binge!!!

1.my wisdom teeth hurt like a mother fucker
2.save my money
3.save my dignity(ill ALWAYS regret the unneeded junk)

i need to detox for real... and i think with the subtraction of my bf on this roadtrip turned camptrip turned rt again... ill have enough power to do so... and when i get back, life will be so busy, i wont have to think twice about passing on possible binges!!!

so for the trip...
-no eating in the car
-LOTS of water
-coffee/tea in the morning (store or motel)
-will eat at actual restraunts and ask for a box and automatically store half the plate for later
-no fatty fast food!!! but im sure thats a majority of what were stopping at??? is there anything "safe"

whats a good site for calories/fat grams for menus at popular restraunts??? i think ill need a print out...

2 comments | leave a comment

15 August 2007 @ 03:01 am

might help

( Real girl thinspo )

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15 August 2007 @ 04:14 am

I can't believe I'm sick.
I'm sick.
I can't believe not only am I sick,
but I have a cold.
Do you know how many times I had a cold last year?

FIVE!
I had a cold FIVE times.
And I missed SO much school because of it.
And now in the MIDDLE of SUMMER! I'm sick again...with a COLD!

Grr.

But on a different note.
I was looking at myself in the mirror.
And like usually that means bad news.
BUT I realized something.
I'm HOT!
I love that I'm fragile.
I love that I bruises easily and that my skin is really weird looking.
I love the bruises that I get from collasping.
And I don't know.

Am I weird?
Or am I just making up for lack of self esteem?

17 comments | leave a comment

15 August 2007 @ 04:23 am

I am so angry at myself! i've given in to my boyfriends bad foods!

20cm of French stick, 2 small hommus tubs (about 3tbsp) and a fricken timtam cornetto (an icecream for those americans... 239cals) ARGH!!!

meanwhile i'm going to a trivia night tonight, so i'm not going to eat before hand, will tell them i've already eaten to get out of eating there. YAY.

I cant beleive i did that, after taking an appetite supressant and all, i'm just fricken sabotaging myself!

3 comments | leave a comment

15 August 2007 @ 06:11 am

im off to Ny to see tom felton<3

be back sunday love you all STAY STRONG :]

1 comment | leave a comment

15 August 2007 @ 06:15 am

any myspace users??

hey! Please add me!! I suck at myspace, but my name is /sexxykttn3

also if anyone has facebook, my name is amanda clark and i attend Western illinois university, and my pic is of a guy and a little girl!!

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15 August 2007 @ 06:32 am

soooooo flippin early!!!

@ work already at this god-forsaken hour of the day!!!!

I will be here till 11...so I'm sure I might die!! ;)

I did fairly well yesterday...I'm going to weigh myself a little later to see if there are any slight changes. I still feel full from last night when I had a "normal" dinner!

I am also super sore in my legs, and im not sure from what exactly, but i look like an old lady walking down stairs!!

Also...ITS EFFING HOOOT!!!! I want to go tanning, but it is far too hot out!!! yuck!!

hope everyone is having a good day!

Current Location: work

Current Mood:

cranky

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15 August 2007 @ 06:57 am

good morning my favorite lovelies

I am going on a maje diet. I'm traveling to Stockholm, SWEDEN soon - alone for a much needed holiday abroad. Everyone knows they're gorgeous there, and I feel a natural need to compete.
HW: 231
LW: 119
CW: 123 :(

I need all of the help I can get, and also some realistic expectations to how much one can lose in 4-6 weeks tops.

Any help or words of encouragement is greatly appreciated, hit me on the msn while I work today - or aim, amberdemure@gmail.com, omgamberwtf (office jobbbbbbbbs are boring)

1 comment | leave a comment

15 August 2007 @ 07:07 am

soo freakin hot!!

It is already 73 degrees here and its on 7 in the morning!!!

I prolly sound like a big baby, but I have no air conditioning at work AND I have to wear jeans to work...so I am just sitting here and sweating!!!

I went running last night at 9pm and it was like running in a sauna!!

this heat wave better break!!!!

Sorry bout the rant!! =P

question: how do u guys typically eat during the day? do u eat several small meals, or do u eat only when u think u are going to pass out, or do u just restrict cals, or do u do the 2468 thingy?

im trying to figure out what is the best way to eat...i was trying to not eat during the day at all...but i don't know if thats the best. what do you guys do?!!?

5 comments | leave a comment

15 August 2007 @ 07:38 am

plateau

what is the best thing to do when you hit a plateau?
i think im about to plateau, agh!
xx

Current Location: net cafe

Current Mood:

calm

13 comments | leave a comment

15 August 2007 @ 07:58 am

i love the beginning of the day when we all have clean starts!

everyone have a great day.

1 comment | leave a comment

15 August 2007 @ 07:58 am

2 4 6 8 variation

i cant bring myself to eat 800 on the highest day of 2468, so i was thinking of doing either 1,3,5 or 2,4,6 and only eating fruit/veggies on the lowest day, fruit/veg/lean protein on the second day and low cal stuff on the third. which one do you think would be best?

p.s. yesterday i did my first pilates class at my gym and my abs are DEF feeling the burn today :)

1 comment | leave a comment

15 August 2007 @ 08:06 am

Food

Today I will eat:

Breakfast: 100 Calorie Bag of Popcorn
Lunch: 3oz bag of carrots
Dinner: Grilled Veggies (hopefully.. it's going to be hard because I'll be out with friends all afternoon)
Snack: Apple

Total: 338 calories. (200 if apples and carrots really are negative calories)

Let's hope it happens.

Undiethin

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15 August 2007 @ 08:26 am

I had nightmares all night.
It's 8.26, i'm about to leave for work. I don't mean to trigger anyone here but these days i will push myself to extremes. I just MUST do it.

If someone's pretty much cristian around, will you say a prayer for me ?
I think i might need it. Am a sinner.

But will lose because i must.
Yay for disordered minds.

Gonna do THE CRAP OF MY LIFE WHICH WILL LEAD TO WEIGHT LOSS.

Current Mood:

bitchy

1 comment | leave a comment

15 August 2007 @ 08:38 am

Newbie

I haven't posted on this community before. I'm new-ish.

These are my stats:

CW: 126
HW: 130
LW: 110
GW: 107
Height: 5'3"

4 comments | leave a comment

15 August 2007 @ 08:47 am

emotional eater

is anyone here an emotional eater?

i cant seem to control myself when i get stressed, upset, or very happy

it is soooo annoying...lately i have had no extreme emotions (so i guess thats good)

just wondering if anyone else has this problem?

9 comments | leave a comment

15 August 2007 @ 08:53 am

Seeing as this seems to be a re-occuring question...

I found a shit load of websites from google that'll tell you how many calories you burn during different exercises, and also how many calories are in the food you eat. I've saved these as my favorites in case I forget the actual websites. Google also has an actual calorie counter that you can install on your computer.

( Different calorie counting websites )

I think that's enough. These were all found by typing in "calorie counter" in google. There's pages and pages of this kind of stuff on there, so if you don't like any of these, there should be at least one that you can get the hang of.

3 comments | leave a comment

15 August 2007 @ 09:20 am

I have recently discovered my newfound LOVE for coffee without milk because I drink it as Iced Coffee!! So if any of you have a hard time drinkin' it without milk, try it cold! I prefer a little splenda also =)

Current Mood: determined

1 comment | leave a comment

15 August 2007 @ 09:22 am

doc's appt

so my mom made me go the doctors the other day because i haven't started my period (i am 16 and a 1/2) and it was awful

the doctor is telling me i need to gain 4 lbs this month and see a nutritionist
i am thinking tha next time i'll just cheat and wear more clothes and drink a ton of water before being weighed... does that work? anymore suggestions on how to get around this!?? HELP HELP HELP!

stats
hw: 123
lw: 113
cw: 114
gw:105
height: 5'7''

5 comments | leave a comment

15 August 2007 @ 09:24 am

GOOD MORNING, DOLLS

first day of fast after skipping dinner last night...

i woke up and weighed 100lbs. it will be so nice to break 100! i need some encouragement to make it till sunday. got any THINSPO?

stats:
height 5'3"
age 22
hw 130
lw 98
cw 100
gw 90
lgw 80

love

3 comments | leave a comment

15 August 2007 @ 09:32 am

weighed myself...a slight yay

so i weighed myself and i lost another .1 lb today, and that was after eating and drinking water!!

not overly dramatic but ill take what i can get!!!

only have had an apple so far today and i plan on a fairly healthy (but small lunch)

good luck!

Current Location: work

Current Mood:

optimistic

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15 August 2007 @ 09:49 am

almost there...

so god morning girlies :) just wanted to share my excitement with you, i've finally reached double digits

99,6 lbs

i'm thinking today has to be a good day, in spite of stomach pains, however they are because i just got my period today :S But on another, hopefully, good note, i'm starting at a sort of recovery center today. I'm not being admitted or anything, but i'm starting with a psychologist who specializes in eating disorders, because even though i absolutely do not want to gain weight, which i've already told her and my family, i do want to gain control over my eating, since my bulimia has taken over everything and is destroying me psychically and emotionally.
So hoping for a better future :)

Have a lovely day girls, xx

ps. oh yeah 2 minutes ago i was in a somewhat good mood, after talking to my ex, i'm now back at being sad, how is it he always knows the wrong things to say?

Current Location: bed

Current Mood:

indifferent

15 comments | leave a comment

15 August 2007 @ 09:49 am

The thinspo site in here won't open!!

Current Mood:

frustrated

5 comments | leave a comment

15 August 2007 @ 09:52 am

Disgusted...

Does anyone else get completely and utterly disgusted by people when they eat?

Last night my mom was cooking a pot roast, and this grey-ish jelly type stuff came out of the meat into the frying pan. When I asked what it was, my dad said it was the blood from the meat congealing. He then proceeded to scoop it up with a fork and eat it!!! When I told him he was disgusting, he came back with "What? That's where all the flavor is!" Oh. My. God. Then, after dinner, he ate a POUND of turkey breast, a bowl of ice cream, and and entire bulk-economy sized box of chicken fingers! And that was all after dinner!!!! I told him that if he kept eating that way he was going to die young. He said "Well, at least I eat and I'm not starving myself to look good". That got me so angry I just told him to keep eating the way he does so that he DOES die young and I can get the inheritance. He's such a fucking asshole. He completely disgusts me. If anyone ever wonders why I grew up with such a disturbing outlook on food, just take a look at my parents. My mother sits on her fat ass all day reading, and then eats a pint of Ben & Jerry's ice cream in one sitting. She thinks that's perfectly fine though because she didn't eat breakfast or lunch. Jesus christ, my parents are so freakin' clueless, and they wonder why they're fat.

Sorry for my rant, I just needed to get that out there because I'm sitting here stewing in my anger right now.

Edit: In case you guys haven't noticed, I don't have the greatest of relationships with my parents. haha

6 comments | leave a comment

15 August 2007 @ 09:57 am

i need your opinion.. :(

i feel so alone, i realised last night i have absolutley NO ONE to talk to . what would you guys do if you were just randomly saving a picture of you and your boyfriend on his computer.. and then when the little file box pops up theres a folder with a BUNCH of naked pictures of girls.. he was in the room with me but had his back turned and i made a comment and he pretends he doesn't hear me... afterwards he pretends like nothing happend and im like are you just going to pretend i didn't say anything?... my heart was pounding 100000 miles a min. no joke. i was so so so hurt you guys, i feel like my body isn't good enough and he has to go look at other girls. i know every guy does it but ... i didn't think he did. i was stupid for thinking that but friiiig. we fought allll night and i was the bad guy for thinking it was wrong. oh.. and when i mentioned something about " already being insecure about my body.. and this makes it so much worse" he says " OHH my god not this again"...
am i over reacting?
i just realise i cant talk to him about anything..
ill tell you one thing though after seeing those pictures and how it made me feel, i never ever want to touch food again. and it will be along time before i do.
ill show him.. fucker

18 comments | leave a comment

15 August 2007 @ 10:02 am

Alli?

Has anyone heard about or tried the new diet pill Alli? It just became available in the U.S.; I'm not sure where else it is sold, but apparently it is approved by the FDA and you can lose 50% more than you would dieting. It's really expensive though so I don't want to buy it unless someone else has had a good experience with it.

Any other diet pills anyone would recommend? I currently take very inexpensive green tea pills and they do help somewhat with hunger and increased energy, but I'd like something a little stronger. Thanks. :)

6 comments | leave a comment

15 August 2007 @ 10:03 am

Morning

Morning Ladies and Gents,
Going camping today untill friday. I'm dreading it. No hairdryer or straightners! ahhh.
Also all the shitty camp foods like chocolate. Uggh I'm hoping no1 will notice if I dont eat.
Ugghh.
Wish me luck! I have a feeling I'm going to need it!
Amy
x x x

3 comments | leave a comment

15 August 2007 @ 10:03 am

I feel so sick.

My tummy is killing me.

So I have decided I am running/walking 6 miles every day.

I need to get my ass into shape.

I can' control much in my life but I can control my wieght.

Hope everyone is doing amazing!

::Stay Strong::

loves-

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15 August 2007 @ 10:04 am

a not so sad return

hello lovelies,

I don't know how many of you will remember me, or who is still here since I've gone, but I figured I'd drop by. I haven't come to stay for good (hopefully) in this I suppose my title is slightly misleading, but I thought - for those interested - I'd share some food for thought from the perspective of a nearly successful self-recover-er.

I'll post my story if I'm asked to, but I'd feel terribly intrusive if I'm not welcome.

I hope you all are well xxxxx

Current Mood:

hopeful

6 comments | leave a comment

15 August 2007 @ 10:10 am

grrr! (man my mood is fluctuating today!)

So i re-weighed myself b/c i thought i read the scale wrong AND I DID!!!! (its one of those doctor scales) it says that i GAINED .9 lb from yesterday!!!

i swear that i am never going to lose at all!!! i want to eat but after seeing that i am thinking about changing my plans for the day!!

i think i ate too big of a dinner last night....maybe if i cut my dinner down!! grr!!

the point is that i have been greatly resticting for almost a week and i havent lost anything!! i am soooooo irritated!!

AND it doesnt help that i am sitting in this stupid heat at work listening to construction sounds and being hella tired b/c i have been here since 5:45 in the morning!!

45 mins to go~then i can go home and NOT EAT!!

sorry for the rant!

Current Location: work

Current Mood:

cranky

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15 August 2007 @ 10:10 am

help!

omg u guys u know how when you're hanging w/ your not-so-skinny friends u tend to eat more??
well i'm going to be soon and when ever i'm with her I end up binging cuz she always wants to go to pastry cafes and stuff!
how do i stay on track???

3 comments | leave a comment

15 August 2007 @ 10:26 am

Good news

Hey chickens,
Hope everyone is well.

I have been missing in action for a while, been really busy. I got an awesome job for this lingerie company (obviously) that are in Fashion week and I am designing, styling and fitting all the models. I singed a confidentiality agreement so I can’t really say much but it’s the best fucking thing to ever happen to me. Wicked owners and ideas. I also just won $1500 in a fashion parade for my swim wear collection. My best friend and I were flown down, and everything paid for us. It was great. I added photo’s in my journal so check it out. I sourced the fabric from Italy, sourced the beads from Paris and made everything myself!

Weight wise, still 43, was 42 for a few days but gained a kilo, I cannot budge, at the fashion parade I seriously ate nothing for 3 days, and we were so busy. I probably had under 400cals the whole 3 days.

Hope everyone is safe and well.
Take care
Xxx

Note: The male model was wearing his own jeans before he went on, their not part of the look. The models were really fucking hot; we weren’t allowed to take photos so I had to sneak photos. So yeah, in real life they were so hot.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v642/camille38/100_0581.jpg

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v642/camille38/100_0580.jpg

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v642/camille38/100_0579.jpg

Adding a video now...

Current Mood:

crazy

10 comments | leave a comment

15 August 2007 @ 10:29 am

Ugh, I feel sick..I don't want to go to work today, but I need money..
I was away for a long time on here, and I realize I can't run away my problems. I need this place, I need to be thin. For me. For my own happiness. I haven't been eaten right or starving myself. I've been eating like any human being without a fuck up eating habits eat. I can't do this though. I need to weight myself every fuckin time I can, I need exercise, I need to see 30 pounds off.
Does anyone have msn, or hotmail where we can talk?

3 comments | leave a comment

15 August 2007 @ 10:30 am

sorry to post again but...

if eating too little kills ur metab, why doesn't fasting? or DOES fasting kill it?

4 comments | leave a comment

15 August 2007 @ 10:32 am

Day 1 of my fast

My stats are:

Age: 18

5'6
CW: 135
HW: 140
LW: 112
GW: 115

How much do you think I can lose till September 3rd with a liquid fast?

Current Mood: neer been fatter

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15 August 2007 @ 10:32 am

okay guys yesterday was shite
and now i look in the mirror and my reflection makes me retch ..literally
but i wont let it bring me down
my plan today is cereal for breakfast to keep my nan happy then fast from 12 o clock onwards
also do a 4 hour walk in the afternoon
and then in the evening go on a run...mabe see if i can go for an hour!

i just needed to tell you guys so that i can make sure i do it..

how are the rest of you beauties?
xxx

Current Music: heartbeats- the knife

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15 August 2007 @ 10:37 am

Thinspiration

I need some thinspo, so please post some thinspo by replying to this post. Post everything good you have, I really need it now.
Stay strong girls!

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15 August 2007 @ 10:47 am

you know those amusement park rides, where you sit in a circle and slowly, slowly, it starts to spin, and then faster fatster faster faster until you feel exhilaration beyond control?

well, i feel like i'm spinning... slowly... but i know it is going to accelerate out of control.

so what am i going to do.

hold onto everything stable i can.

stop the spinning.
or at least stay sane in the center of it.

i'm not eating.

5 comments | leave a comment

15 August 2007 @ 10:53 am

Just curious what everyones stats were when they quit getting their period? I think I might be done..

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15 August 2007 @ 10:54 am

can i just ask how old you guys are on here cause i feel like i'm one of the babies on here but haven't got a clue how old any of you lot are. i'm 15 x

Current Mood:

curious

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15 August 2007 @ 10:55 am

my little rainbow dress doesn't fit anymore.
it's too big : )

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15 August 2007 @ 11:11 am

does anyone ever have trouble sleeping while on a fast? i wake up all the time so hungry and its driving me nuts, i just want to eat everything in the house at that time. what would you do?

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15 August 2007 @ 11:15 am

Hi everyone,I am off to the gym,I waiting for a phone call but I can''t wait any longer I am dying to get going.My plan today is to do an hour each on the treadmill and elliptical,15 minutes each on the bike,rower and climbing machine.I feel tired but I know I will feel so much better after my workout.Bye for now.x

Current Mood: determined

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15 August 2007 @ 11:19 am

I binged today..Ew..But im starting a 2 or 3 day fast tomorrow..

I had

One bowl of cereal and milk 230cals
1 peice of white bread 60cals
2 peices of american cheese 90cals

TOTAL: 380

Not that bad........
Only water for the rest of the dat though......

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15 August 2007 @ 11:22 am

I have a date tomorrow night. He wants to go to dinner and a movie. *sigh* Why must we eat?

But anyways, he wants to go to Applebees and I've only been there once...over a year ago. Can any of you recommend something that won't leave me feeling COMPLETELY huge and guilty? I don't know what all they have and I don't want to take forever looking through the menu and making him think I'm too stupid to read a menu lol

I'm going to avoid food more than I usually do because I binged yesterday and I know I'll hate myself tomorrow when I get home

Happy Wednesday to all of you. I hope it's going well!!!
Much love
Moi

5 comments | leave a comment

15 August 2007 @ 11:23 am

2,4,6,8

6 day today.
So far I have had one slice of toast and a cereal bar and done half an hour of dance in the studio with my dance partner.
Doing well.
Hope everyone is good.
Loves.
Mali
Xx

Current Mood:

bouncy

Current Music: Sex Is Not The Enemy - Garbage

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15 August 2007 @ 11:26 am

I really feel for Amy Winehouse at the moment,right I am off to the gym,I really I going now.
http://uk.news.launch.yahoo.com/dyna/article.html?a=/15082007/364/winehouse-addicted-heroin-claims-mother-law.html&e=l_news_dm

5 comments | leave a comment

15 August 2007 @ 11:26 am

hey all!! well yesterday was really strange, it was the best day i have had in a long time.. food wise. and i didnt even feel hungary.. i had:

two tomoatos
bit of cucumer
haf a tin of pinapple
water

so far today.. nothing x

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15 August 2007 @ 11:28 am

hey, is anyone else from the UK getting their A level results tomorrow? I'm really nervous! X

Current Mood:

nervous

21 comments | leave a comment

15 August 2007 @ 11:43 am

My ana playlist:

Ana's Song- Silverchair
Bleed Like Me- Garbage
Paper Bag- Fiona Apple
Swiss Army Romance- Dashboard Confessional
Barely Breathing- Duncan Sheik
Dirty Little Secret- All American Rejects
Ordinary World- Aurora
Pain- Jimmy Eat World
Fast As You Can- Fiona Apple
Rockstar- Nickelback
3 Skinny Girls- The Fratellis

4 comments | leave a comment

15 August 2007 @ 11:43 am

Good morning ladies! I've been so busy to post but am back for now :).
I went to the gathering of the vibes festival with a bunch of friends over the weekend. I didn't eat horribly but I drank lots and lots of beer. It was totally worth it though because I had such a great time. My boyfriend's parents are getting their roof done and yesterday we went over to help pick up shingles and it was such an amazing workout. My thighs were on fire and then I went jogging 2 miles just to top it off. We're going back to do more shingles today... can't wait! I know I have problems, most normal people wouldnt be excited about picking up shingles lol. Anyhow today at the grocery store I went to get coffee and I saw those flavored splenda things. I got the caramel flavor and it's actually decent. Ushually I hate the taste of splenda, but these things are not so bad. Sorry for rambling. Hope everyone is doing well!

10 comments | leave a comment

15 August 2007 @ 11:45 am

omg today its like morning and i feel like i hvae had one million calories eek!..
first of all i had to get my sister lunch which was a sandwich 1/2 jam and the other half vegemite and i licked and spat some jam and gaged it out yuck!!

omg i feel sooo fat does it mean if i gaged it out that minuses the calories ??
i feel like everyday no matter wht i eat i am getting fatter!.

3 comments | leave a comment

15 August 2007 @ 11:45 am

24-inch waist... don`t know whether i`m happy about it or not...

7 comments | leave a comment

15 August 2007 @ 11:51 am

im sorry i dont think i ever properly introduced myself
i finally joined the community 3 months ago after watching for about a year
stats:
hw:148
lw:118
cw:130
gw:100

love you guys sooo much!! stay strong:]

5 comments | leave a comment

15 August 2007 @ 11:53 am

:(

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15 August 2007 @ 11:54 am

This always confused me, why do you have to not have a period to get diagnosed with anorexia, and why do people that still have their periods yet show all the other signs of anorexia get tossed in the EDNOS bin?
I used to be borderline overweight, I've had an eating disorder for the past couple of years, now I'm in the underweight status, I still have my period and intend on doing so. I've been underweight for probably the past 6 months. I've had as little as less than 100 cals a day, I've become so sick from malnutrition that I couldn't move a muscle for hours. Yet I've had no problems with my period. Sometimes it's late for a week or so but that's about it. I never tried to intentionally lose it... It's a hassle and I absolutely dread them, but I like the idea of being able to have children of my own one day when the time comes.
Anyway so, my husband wants me to talk to a professional, but I'm not even going to bother getting diagnosed by a text book, since I know they're gonna say I have EDNOS anyway. And we all know how frustrating it can be to get labeled with something that isn't even a real condition - just a result of stupid technicality.

2 comments | leave a comment

15 August 2007 @ 11:58 am

how do you post pics??

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15 August 2007 @ 12:04 pm

mum hid the scales.
i calmly went to her and said mum, where are the scales.
and she was all hysterical and upset YOU'RE USING THEM TO KEEP YOURSELF SO THIN I JUST WANT TO HELP YOU IM SO WORRIED etc, etc,
i hugged her and rubbed her back- "there there mum, its okay, now i think we both know you're being a little silly. take a deep breath. there you go, doesn't that feel better? now, where are the scales..
mum points to her wardrobe.
i win.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHHA poor mummy. bless her heart

Current Mood:

amused

6 comments | leave a comment

15 August 2007 @ 12:06 pm

WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

HELLO LOVELIESSSSS!!! yeeeooowwwwzzaaaa! you're all beautiful and wonderful and special and amazing people. i love you all very much!
I'm going to be hanging out with all of you for most of today! yay! i'm only drinking coffee and water and tea today so i'll need you guys to keep me busy!

I'm already kind of hyper from the coffee. I don'tknow what it has such a dramatic effect on me. BUTTTT I like it.

Tell me how you all are doing today please! I want to know. Because I care. And you know, I'm nosy. haha.

LOVE!
XOXOX

Current Mood:

bouncy

3 comments | leave a comment

15 August 2007 @ 12:09 pm

Got off to a great start, took my remaining dog out for a run this morning, and so he could play fetch.

Ran the 4kms to the park, played with him, then jogged the 4kms home. Felt so great when I got back.

Now, I haven't had anything to eat since yesterday afternoon, and I've had 2 cups of plain green tea just to get me moving.

Currently watching '20 skinniest celebs', catching handy tips.

Its the kind of show that could make or break you, luckily in my case, it made me put my runners back on and use the stepper for 15 minutes whilst watching Keira Knightly, Kate Moss, Mischa Barton and my favoruite starlet, Nicole.

And now Orlando Bloom is on, gonna jump back on the stepper.

Hopefully I can burn yesterdays binge!

Stay strong darlings

4 comments | leave a comment

15 August 2007 @ 12:09 pm

lifes a b****

i hate my life sooo much.
particularly my flab it just spills over everywhere
i domt know how much excersise to d to lose the bloated belly i have gained in the last few days.
do any of you know how to lose weight from the posterior i.e cos my arse is HUGE!!!!!
i hate it. its like one big ballon full of stagnant gloopand rancid fat.
sorry for the rant.xx

Current Location: in the middle of nowhere

Current Mood:

aggravated

2 comments | leave a comment

15 August 2007 @ 12:22 pm

ahhh

Well, it's been so long, so many calories later... I joined this community in April 2005 and was almost to my goal before going into recovery. I teetered between normality and happiness - very different for me - and now, I am preparing to renew myself. I am starting a new position on Monday, and I am getting married in 3 weeks. Wavering in the middle has not helped me reach the body I want for my wedding... bones, thin, streamlined... how can I get to where I will be happy and can be even happier with my new life.

Cutting to maybe 200-500 cals/day depending on the time I can workout - always burn 2x as much working out as consuming, if possible
1 hr. cardio (treadmill/elliptical) + 1 hr. bodypump class (light weight training)

Food List...

water, diet arizona green tea
bell peppers
tomato
1/2 can tuna
lettuce w/lemon juice & black pepper
diet cherry pepsi
Hoodia pills
If I really need it, Mucinex D pills (have highest level of pseuoephedrine on market & you have to sign at pharmacy to get them - they are the best appetite surpressant I've ever 'stumbled' upon)

I also love reading everyone's daily food intake lists, so please please please keep them coming! I will be posting mine too. I am so ecstatic to be turning back to my faithful lifestyl of ana, I could not be happier right now just imagining more and more and more days towards this journey.

Current Location: work - boo

Current Mood: determined

3 comments | leave a comment

15 August 2007 @ 12:22 pm

hi everyone,
not to bad last nite, cud have been better but oh well.....

im off to go get nxt years alevel things. great.so on top of worrying about the Mother, ythe Flab, the Brother(s), the Hockey and every other goddamn sport in the entire east midlands.......
i have to go uy myself an a level maths revision guide.
huh.
anyone else dreading school and the UK secondary school equivalent to the Freshman Fifteen?
i mean thse exams are gonna wreck my fitness program and mums gonna go ape if i dont practically binge on her 'wholesome nutritious, blahblah yatta yatta ....' food.
im stuck in sum serious shit.

luvya huns
xxx

Current Location: aboard the flying dutchman

Current Mood:

amused

Current Music: something on radio 1

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15 August 2007 @ 12:36 pm

*sigh*
I had an apple sammich.
With a slice of cheese..
I dont even wanna know the calories..
Will look them up soon..
Stupid stupid.

2 comments | leave a comment

15 August 2007 @ 12:45 pm

im back

i could've been back earlier, but i was too busy eating like a pig. i want to behave again and eat nothing like before. ugh.
great, my mom told me that in september i have to see family (they cook the FATIEST crap ever). i dont know what im going to do, but i'm sure i'll manage, because i have before, im just wondering if it will be cold in September so i have an excuse to wear sweaters because they havent seen me in a while and i've lost a lot in that long period of time.
so to all my NY girls, is it chilly in September?

thanks <3

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15 August 2007 @ 12:53 pm

Stupid questions.

But how long should you wait b4