Pregnancy stories

Have you experienced a miscarriage?

Wed, 12 Sep 2007 22:45:35 GMT

I'm a graduate photography student at the University of North Texas and I'm doing a project on women who have experienced miscarriages. I know this is a touchy topic for many women but I was hoping this community would be open for me exploring it via an art project/research project that I'm currently doing in order to document the effects of miscarriages on women and families as well as raise awareness (since most people do not like to talk about them).

If you or someone you know has experienced one and is willing to talk about it, I would really love to talk to you (See project details below!).

PROJECT DETAILS
-I realize this is a difficult subject and respect if someone has privacy issues about it. I fully respect whatever boundaries someone has with speaking about this.

-If you do not live nearby, I'd love to email you or snail mail you a list of questions to get your impression/emotions/feelings now/family reactions on this experience for you. Having handwritten answers would be lovely for the art project I'm hoping to do, if it's possible. Email is ok if it's all you can do too, but snail mail is preferrable.

-If you live somewhere I can drive to, I would prefer to meet in person, but if the internet is the only comfortable option I would be willing to chat this way too. In addition to speaking about each experience, ideally I would also love to shoot a portrait of each woman or an image of something that represents each woman (if the woman is comfortable with this) as the project is partly photographic in nature. If you do not want your picture shot (for confidentiality or comfort reasons), I would enjoy shooting an alternative image.

-To make the in-person meeting worth your time, I will print you one photo.

-My goals are to create a series of images which may become an artist book to illustrate different experiences related to miscarriage and bring awareness to this difficult tragedy that so many women face but few speak of. Also, this topic very rarely emerges into the art realm so I feel that having images of women that the viewer can identify with will help others notice and understand this topic.

-As mentioned, this will be taking place throughout the course of the Fall semester and my schedule is flexible. If you or someone you know is interested, please email me here or leave a comment:

julie.barnofski@gmail.com

THANK YOU!!

My beautiful boy

Wed, 13 Oct 2004 21:21:20 GMT

Are you or have you ever been pregnant?
On June 11th 2001 I delivered my beautiful baby boy, Findlay Stephen William. He weighed 7lb 11oz.

Did you consider abortion? Why? or why not?
Not in this pregnancy. Findlay was planned and very much wanted by both his Daddy and I

Did you make the right decision? Why? or Why not?
I was more than happy to be pregnant - ecstatic, overjoyed, thrilled, all of these, yet none quite hits how I felt. I was overcome.

Did the pregnancy go without complications?
I'm yet to hear of anyone who has a pregnancy without complications. At around 14 weeks I had the urge to sleep constantly, and it was more than just your pregnancy tiredness - I would physically fall asleep talking to people, eating etc. I was never sick, but suffered with terrible nauseous feeling to the extent that I barely ate anything except creme eggs and apricots for most of my pregnancy. At 20 weeks I started suffering from Pubis Symphisis (sp) and consequently had to give up work at 32 weeks instead of staying until 38 weeks as I had planned. I spent the last 11 weeks of my pregnancy either in bed or on the sofa. Findlay was 6 days late.

My contractions started on the Thursday night, but were not strong enough to bother me until the Saturday lunchtime, when my waters broke as I made my Dad a cup of tea. I went straight to the hospital and was told my the (bitch) midwife that my waters were intact, and that I had wet myself (in actual fact, my forewaters had gone, but my hindwaters were intact) and she sent me home.

Alan and I stopped at Asda (Walmart) and got something to eat - hysterical for the average onlooker when every 4 minutes or so I would get off my chair and onto my hands and knees in the middle of the cafe and start groaning. After eating, we decided to visit Alan's mum instead of going home, as we lived in a 3rd floor apartment and I couldn't face walking up the stairs. We ended up staying there after I fell asleep.

Sunday morning I've been contracting for a wee while now and I'm starting to get really pissed off. I wake up at 6am having had very little sleep, and Alan, his Mum and I head to the hospital again. This time they keep me in, and admit me onto a ward. I am put in a double room with a woman who has delivered a premature baby which didn't survive. The stress of hearing her cry to her visitors and taking them to see the baby in the morgue stops my contractions and probably upsets her as well. Later in the afternoon I'm moved to another room with 3 other labouring Women. That night, I am up all night, walking around the ward with contractions and end up going for an aromatherapy bath at 5am and I don't get back out until 8am. I am sent for a scan to see whether my waters are intact and the sonographer tells me that my baby is on it's way because my placenta is black and speckled. I get back onto the ward and burst into tears through sheer exhaustion and pain. My midwife examines me and finds that I am 5cm dilated. She sends me down to delivery just as Alan arrives.

Monday afternoon, 12.30 and I have just arrived in delivery. The lovely midwife gives me an injection of diamorphine, which I (wrongly) assume will kill the pain. Oh no - all it does is make me fall asleep in between contractions. I end up giving Alan a black eye when he pulls the gas and air away from my mouth too many times. At 3pm I tell the midwife I need to pee. She tells me I don't. I assure her I definately do. She tells me I don't, it's the baby pressing on my bladder. I freak out calling her every name under the sun. She laughs at me and gets me a bedpan. I sit on the bedpan for 20 minutes before conceding defeat and admitting that no, I don't need to pee. I go back to sleep again. I wake up to be faced with the AntiChrist of all midwives, who tells me I have half an hour to get to 10cm or she's going to put me on a drip (I hate needles) Remarkably, half an hour later I'm at 10cm dilated, and I start pushing. Findlay finally appears at 5.40pm

He's now 3 and a half years old, and the joy of my life. Alan and I split up due to my Postnatal depression, but remain on talking terms for Findlay's sake :)

Here's a photo of me and the boy

12 Week U/S

Wed, 25 Aug 2004 19:20:50 GMT

Had my 12 weeks ultrasound today... it was amazing.
My bean looks completely normal and measured 5.4cm.

X-posted: march2005 motherstobe pregnancystory uk_pregnancy

my stor(ies)

Mon, 17 May 2004 00:36:47 GMT

Are you or have you ever been pregnant?

Twice. Last time I chose abortion, and have never regretted it. This time the pregnancy was planned, wanted, and continued to birth.

Did you consider abortion? Why? or why not?

Not this time, because my husband and I deliberately got pregnant :)

Did you make the right decision? Why? or Why not?

Both times.

The first time, I was unexpectedly pregnant. I have always been pro-choice, both personally and politically. I had no hesitation; I knew that unless I was completely mentally, physically, and financially ready to have a child, I would not do it. I believe a child deserves parents who are unreservedly devoted and completely able to provide for it. I will not bring a child into the world unless I can promise that.

At the time, I was financially fine and in a strong relationship (living with my fiance, who is now my husband). However, I was not emotionally or mentally prepared to have a child. I was 22 and not ready to give up my "fun" life; I wasn't even sure what I wanted to do with the rest of my life yet. Because of this I did not feel that I was prepared to have a child. Therefore, I had an immediate abortion (at about 8 weeks pregnant).

This time around, the situation is different. I am in the middle of law school and have secured a very good law job. I am married, my husband is well-employed and works from home so he can care for our child. My parents live nearby and are eager to help out. And most importantly, I am HAPPY and ENTHUSIASTIC about having a child. I don't really understand how anyone not enthusiastic about it can survive the getting-up-four-times-a-night :)

Did the pregnancy go without complications?

I don't think any pregnancy ever does :) If so, they are in the minority.

I had a pretty non-complicated pregnancy up till the 37th or so week. I then developed a fairly rare pregnancy rash known as PUPPP. It made my life a living hell for two weeks or so - it was all over my body, including the soles of my feet and the palms of my hands. I couldn't sleep, I itched constantly, and it hurt if I scratched. More seriously, I developed pre-eclampsia in the last 5 days of my pregnancy. I gained 7 pounds of pure swelling water weight in those 5 days, my blood pressure went up, etc. I ended up being threatened with bedrest if I did not induce.

Induction was a long process, and 28 hours after it started I had to get a C-section anyway because despite my being completely dialated, Isaac was facing the wrong way and so could not come out. :P long birth story here.

Two weeks out, the rash still hasn't completely gone away, and it has pretty much destroyed the skin on my stomach. The good side is that I look almost normal again. I'm still up almost 20 pounds, but I started out pretty skinny, and I've dropped almost 40 from my top pregnancy weight. Not bad for two weeks.

Recovery from the Caesarean has been slower than I thought it would be. The incision was, for a week and a half, too sore to allow me to walk very far (more than a quarter block or so). But more serious than that is the full-body fatigue that follows major surgery. I am starting to recover, but still find it difficult to do much. Luckily my husband is wonderful.

Our new son is Isaac. He was 8 lbs 6 oz and has gained at an above-average rate since being home. He is perfectly healthy, if somewhat fussy :) and very cute.

My 1st Baby..

Tue, 17 Feb 2004 18:03:01 GMT

Alexander, born January 8, 2003

Are you or have you ever been pregnant?
yes, not currently

Did you consider abortion? Why? or why not?
No, I would consider adoption. In my case I was willing to go with what happened, but it was not a good point in my life. I was having problems with the father and it seemed stupid to bring a child into the mix.
I respect others' choices to terminate, but it is not a choice for me.

Did you make the right decision? Why? or Why not?
I feel I did..I considered adoption but I realize I was just scared.

Did the pregnancy go without complications?
Not necessarily, I had kidney stones, premature labor and then a c-section after failure to progress.

Sun, 14 Sep 2003 22:20:27 GMT

My goal is to make all aspects of pregnancy something we talk about without politics.