I've noticed this cropping up in some of the post-OotP/HBP fics I've been (re)reading.

Consider the fics where Harry has the one time-turner left from smashing them all at the Ministry, for example. One would think the Ministry would keep better control over its time-turners and do an inventory check and go, "Hmm. Six kids and about a dozen Death Eaters were here. Now if You-Know-Who has one from Bellatrix Lestrange, this could be SLIGHTLY BAD. Or if one of those six students has the time-turner, it's time to ask why they haven't returned it."

Or the time-turner Hermione used at Hogwarts - somehow McGonagall still has it and broadly winknudges Harmony to Go Forth And Train after Dumbledore died. The Ministry surely would have asked for it back if McG had to go through as much red tape as Hermione implies for the initial time-turner to be issued, and no doubt someone would have noticed during fourth or fifth years, even if we assume that the chaos post- the DoM incident meant the inventory records were scattered about.

These are at least sort of plausible. But when Harry starts using the Room of Requirement as his all-purpose time-slowing device? Or he miraculously finds a house which Granddad Potter had, in which there is a special Time Room?

I think that's reaching a tad bit far there.

I'll probably delete this after a few months, but definitely by 2009, which is when this post is "really" dated for.

I've added quite a few tags. You can see them all here. Tag your posts with abandon judiciousness. :)

Color scheme was changed about two weeks ago; if you really hate it, tell me.

Finally, although I doubt we'll have much of an issue, I edited the original of this post and changed the date because I've been reading about some other comms having problems with seriously not-work-safe icons and/or posts.

Please use common sense when choosing an icon for the comm, and if you need to make a post about possibly "adult" (tag with "biology") material, please put an LJ-cut with a warning. Again, just common sense. :)

...because Hermione really hates being smart. :D
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... with, I hope, a light hand.

Greetings, all, new admin at your service.

So you all are aware, I plan to retain the existing policies as outlined in the user info section of potter_cliche (which you can find by looking at this link, which has been updated to remove some personal references that do not apply to me), and I will also retain the existing ban list.

I do plan to participate here as a member as well as an admin; however, I will make it clear when I am wearing my "admin hat" and when I am wearing my "member hat". If this doesn't work out I will revise this stance.

In regard to user complaints, I will act on complaints if I deem them justified. My door (LJ inbox, rather) is always open. :) I also reserve the right to delete user comments if they violate the (I think, rather common-sense) community guidelines as well as applicable LJ guidelines generally.

Enjoy the community (albeit as moribund as it seems to be at the moment), and I hope my "admin hat" doesn't have to get worn too often. :)

Poor!Harry stories. Raped!Harry, Abused by the Dursely's!Harry, Abandonned by his friends!Harry Poor abused!Harry turns into Poor Abused!Harry with WINGS.

Now don't get me wrong. I love angst. But to have angst doesn't mean you have to pile every, single, bad thing in a single fic. Come on! Enough is enough with those type of stories. I like rape fics... if thats all there is and him dealing with it. It doesn't have to be rape and then find out he's a magical fairy and a Shemale as well. When will the insanity stop?!

ETA: Ok... I'm not sure exactly what happened here.... but my post is about the poor!Harry genre and all things associated with those type of fics. It includes, but not limited to, Rape, Creature!fic, and overall oocness of our fave chars. I'm not Harry bashing at all. So can we please stay on topic and we'll all be a lot happier. So lets continue the discussion, shall we.

All right. There's a reason why they call something a guilty pleasure.

I know it's unworthy. I know that it's wrong. I even know that it's not canon. But I just can't seem to help it - after Deathly Hallows I still hate the kid, and I probably won't stop.

So hey! Let's celebrate the many and wondrous ways fan fiction has found and goes on finding to remove Ron from the Wizarding World's (and even more importantly, Hermione Granger's) Better Tomorrow! Let's Pile On Ron!
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If I EVER see another badly written song fic, poem or ficlet featuring EMO!Snape angsting over Lily EVER again on my flist, it will be too soon.

Stop already, we get it: your fav pairing is now canon.

I hate, hate, hate-hate HATE! review whoring. I have stopped reading stories based on petulant comments by the author that went along the lines of "Review or I'll stop writing" (and sometimes in so many words!)

I've been made to understand that behaviour is illegal on some archives. GOOD.

I *like* reviews, but I don't set much store by whether or not I get them. If I get them, great. If I don't, great. With rare and great exception, I almost NEVER review every chapter (because it's time I could spend writing my own story), and even if I were the type to review more than once in a story I'll usually wait a few chapters at least. It's one thing for a reader to comment with "I think I recognise the symptoms your character has here; is this byssinossis?" It's another thing to comment with "OMGLOL!"

The occasional "reviews feed the muse" and the like, don't bother me, but I hate review whoring so much that I cringed when I posted to my own WIP that I was passing on the kudos to my beta team.

Having said all that, there's a new trend in some storywriting. It goes along the lines of this:

* 1 to 6 month wait for a 1500-2500 word chapter, which contains solely dialogue and point-to-point bland narrative.

* ending, like every chapter did before it, with a pseudo-cliffhanger

* UTTERLY INFURIATING COMMENT BY AUTHOR in the author's notes that amounts to: z0mg im soooo klever 4 comming up wif dis unbeeleevable plot twist! what do you think will happen next?! z0mg whangst and woe! lemme know what you think!

Rinse, repeat. For every subsequent chapter.

As a point of clarification, this is not a delay because we all got canon-shafted and are trying to decide whether to adjust our storyline to new canon (and if so how), or because we were all at Sectus/Prophecy/Lumos/Phoenix Rising/some other con, or because something happened in your real life, this is just a long damned delay that obviously exists for the purpose of review collecting.

Also. If you spend more time finding a new and kewl archive to post to every year so you can get Yet Another Award for the story you've been WIPing for four years and isn't even half-completed because there's a three to eight month wait between chapters, you need to stop collecting awards and either write the damned story officially abandon it. When I can't follow the story line because I last read anything you wrote a YEAR ago, it makes me lose interest. At least let your readers know "I've hit a snag". Sheesh.

(My point being, for those who aren't able to interpret my exhausted incoherence, is that the authors can be quite demanding for feedback, but they aren't giving as much effort to keep us reading as they seem to want to make the readers do to keep them writing.)

A classic cliche, for an undying genre: who can resist the appeal of the Great Kitschy Wedding Ring of Fandom?
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It was Jossed, or rather, Jo'd, once and for all with HP and the DH. And I get to gloat a bit.

( Behind a cut just in case )

Moderation is now set to 'off' post DH.

Notwithstanding, it would still be appreciated if users would post any spoilers behind a cut, in case some watchers/members haven't read the new book.

Thanks!

It is not safe for Severus Snape to walk the halls of Hogwarts.
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Though this community has been largely quiescent, I'm putting it on full moderation to avoid its use to post trollish spoilers for Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.

That moderation will remain in force until one week after the publication of the new Harry Potter book, ie, 28 July. If you haven't read it by then, hard cheese.

I recall with a shudder the fact that people were at pains to ensure I already knew every plot point and blockbuster in Harry Potter and the Half-blood Prince, before I so much as opened the bugger. I'd prefer not to be party to such a thing this particular time around, and this is the biggie.

I ran across a great fic recently that was just ruined completely because the author was an anime fangirl (as seems to be far too par for the course), and picked some lamebrain Japanese name for a character in her HP fic; in this particular case a white person picked a Japanese pseudonym.

Other egregious examples abound, such as the Mary Sue goes to Hogwarts Complete with some Cool-Sounding Anime Fangirl name, or even some rather good ones, where the author wants to make their OCs "memorable" - so naturally they get weird names from some anime fandom. It was particularly bad in one case because the fic I was reading is very well-written, but the author picked anime-fangirl type names (Ryuki, or something) for the OFC in that fic.

I'm just waiting for the mother of all post-OotP cliche fics where Harry wakes up, sneaks out when Mundungus skives off shift five minutes early, goes to Gringotts, gets the will, rages at Dumbledore, emancipates himself, and then bumps into Voldemort's daughter named Raiden Sakuma or osmething like that.

Are there really any indications in canon that Hermione can't fly a broom worth spit? Or that she's distrustful of the artifact or afraid of heights? Or that she actually ticked off or disappointed Professor Hooch in any way? I mean. We heard all about Divination and Professor Trelawney. Wouldn't I remember this, if it were so?

No one has ever mistaken me for being athletic. (My graduating class had Sarcastic Superlatives, and actually elected me "Most Unathletic - Female.") However, I passed the precision driving test in all particulars and am licensed to operate a motorcycle - if for no better reason than that I might actually need to someday, possibly under trying conditions.

Considering that Hermione doesn't show any indications of preternatural clumsiness, and that her bent for over-preparation far exceeds my own level of eccentricity on the subject...wouldn't Hermione insure that she could fly if she ever needed to?

I admit, I could just be massively forgetting. Can anybody help me out? :D

Lube spells. I just...hate 'em. I hate how every steamy slash scene has to include someone getting poked in the ass with a wand and a "Lubricus!" or whatever. I mean, assuming there is some sort of special wizarding lubricant, why in the name of all that is holy would it not be a potion?

Is not the same thing as an Invigoration Draught. Pepper-Up is for treating colds and flus, not for waking up.

Far too many fanfic writers look at the name and forget what the original canon usage was for, and just go "Oh, character X is tired! Pepper-Up time!" - it's really annoying and even some of the better fanfic writers out there commit this cliched mistake of turning the Pepper-Up into an all-purpose caffeine substitute.

Just because Narcissa Malfoy says Snape knows Lucius well and is Draco's favorite teacher does not mean he's Draco's godfather. Let's take Draco first. Since Draco got to Hogwarts Snape has established a precedent of favoring Slytherins. To what extent this is an automatic House-favoring thing versus a deliberate deep-cover spying technique is not established, but it's a useful way of establishing bona fides.

On top of this, Snape has an interest in cultivating Draco, because it keeps him in the Teflon, as Draco will hardly scurry off to Lucius whining about Big Bad Snape if he thinks Snape will turn a blind eye to anything he does.

Lucius isn't an idiot; he's a pureblood, and he knows there's no such pureblood family named Snape. He is not, I think, going to let some scruffy, greasy half-blood be godfather to his child, who is practically royalty due to Narcissa being a Black. There's a difference between being friends due to a shared contempt for Muggleborns (although it can be argued that Snape only professes this to stay in good with other Slytherins), and being such bosom buddies (like the Marauders) that one would be willing to let the other be godfather to a child. It is hinted in canon that being a godfather invests someone with legal responsibilities in the event that the father isn't alive, and while Snape may be half-a-Prince, and no matter how benevolently disposed Narcissa is towards him (I suspect half of that in HBP was her desperation, though - gee, am I cynical or what for a Ravenclaw? ;) ), I think Lucius would have rather named another pureblood godfather, if at all.

Personally, I think Severus Snape is generally out for himself. He's a Slytherin, after all. To this extent I think he realized that sticking close to Lucius could help his career, but I think one of the things that would sour Snape on his friendship (if we can call it that) with Malfoy is the fact that the latter bought his way out of Azkaban with an Imperius defence, while Snape, not having that kind of money, needed Albus Dumbledore to save his bacon from Azkaban.

Honor among thieves, my arse.

I'd make the case, therefore, that while Severus makes a point of keeping Draco thinking he's a good Slytherin and a great Professor, he does so purely for the purposes of manipulating Lucius Malfoy. I would bet anything that if he hadn't had to make the Unbreakable Vow, he wouldn't have lifted a finger to help Draco in the boy's task. Why would he, when at least some of his loyalty is to Albus Dumbledore, and hindering Draco by refusing assistance (on any grounds he can dream up - e.g. he's too busy, he has to help Slughorn brew the Wolfsbane, whatever...) could have well been as effective as actively slapping Draco down.

So, there's my cliche-bashing for you. :)

*blows dust and cobwebs out of this comm*


Canon? What canon? And I can't hear you, cos I've got bananas in my ears...

"It turned out that Snape and Dumbledore had cooked up the whole thing between them with Polyjuice, and a few empty washing up liquid cartons covered in sticky backed plastic. Besides, Hermione figured it all out the day after they got home from Hogwarts, by a brilliant combination of Arithmancy and analysis.

Two weeks later, Snape was cleared by the Wizengamot, and was teaching again the following term. Hermione had persuaded the others in the Golden Trio (interjection: that grinding sound you hear is the sound of my gnashers) that it would be better to finish school.

She was on her way to detention with Professor Snape* - they'd been an item all term."**

Fer chrissakes, at least BLOODYWELL TRY. New(ish) canon can be your friend if you let it.

* Probably sans knickers.

**This fake quote has been made up for the occasion and is NOT taken from any real fic...***

***But it might just as well be.