Possible Chances

Paradise

It was her.

I swooped down from my cloud, hoping to have a closer look, just to make sure.  My wings were flapping quickly against my back, and I could feel my heart beating fast against my chest.  The coldness of the night air burned my cheeks, but I was smiling.

She was the only one who can make me smile.

I crouched on the lowest tree branch.  I knew it was pointless to hide; she couldn’t see me, after all.  But I just wanted to pretend that I was alive, that I was here, and that if I wanted, I could just reach out my hand and touch her.

I grinned as she walked closer.  She was entering the gate of their house, and I could smell her hair, that beautiful, brown hair, as it fell down her back.  They smelled so much like the roses we had back at home, only much better.

As soon as she got in, I made my way carefully into their garden.  I tried not to wake up the cat sleeping on the floor, and I lifted myself softly into the air, afraid that she might hear. 

Though sometimes, I wish she would.

Slowly, I sat on her window sill, and I couldn’t help but smirk as she wiped her angel figurine on the counter.  She loved it so much, that little thing.  She would always look at it with those lovely, gentle eyes of her.  If only she could see my wings.  They would be much better, and I was sure that I could make her smile more beautifully than those fake statues.

I could hear her humming.  Her voice sounded like little bells and they brought happiness into my very being.  Just that sound made it worth coming down here, and it always made me wonder why she wasn’t one of us.

Suddenly, the sound of another bell rang in my ears.

It was Him; and He was calling for us to come back.

I looked back at her, taking in every detail of her face.  It was time for me to say goodbye again.  I wanted to, if I could.  I’ve always heard how goodbyes were so sad, but if I could have a single chance of saying it to her, or any word for that matter, I wouldn’t mind.  Just so I could hear her reply, just so she would know that I was here.

But then again, it was nothing but a futile wish.

A smile crept across my face as he came into her room.  I could see them laughing, and I could see her rubbing her round tummy lovingly.  The man smiled back and did the same, looking at her with love.

“Only a few more months, Sakuno.”

I closed my eyes, mumbling her name, and listening to the sound of it on my lips.  It was beautiful.

Sakuno.

“Don’t get too excited, Ryoma-kun,” she replied playfully.  “He’s going to be as great as you.”

Silently, I offered them a short prayer before I finally fly off, the big bells ringing more urgently into my ears.

Like what happens everyday, I felt my tears run down my face.  It was sad.  It was sad to be always there, everyday, watching.  It hurt me to see her happy with another man and it hurt me to see that she didn’t know that I was here.  It hurt me to fly, to swoop down and look through her window, and it hurt me to know that we were different – that I was different.

But I knew deep down that tomorrow, I’d come back.  I’d come back to look, and to stare, and to wish.  Then I’d cry again.

“Kirihara Akaya.”

I looked up at the sound of His voice and stopped in mid-flight.  I could still hear their voices not far below, but the hammering inside my chest suddenly went violent.  I bowed in apology.  “I’m sorry,” I mumbled.  “I was late.”

He gave me a smile.  It was gentle.  “You have suffered for too long, my boy.”  I know, I know!  “I shall be giving you your release.” 

Oh, dear God!

Tears ran down my face.

He approached me and placed His hand on my head.

“But… But I need to see her again!” I said, holding onto His hand.  “Please, please, don’t take me away!  Not yet!  I have…”

“You will.”  He said, and at that moment, I blacked out.

And when I opened my eyes, I saw her face.

So close.

And she smiled.

I smirked back, happy beyond words.  I was proud.  My wish – It came true!  Finally, I was here, with her.

Thank you, God.

Tears were streaming down her face.  I wanted to reach out and wipe them away; I wanted to embrace her, and to never let her go.

But I couldn’t reach her.  I couldn’t move my hands.

I began to cry, as well.  Instead, she was the one who gently wiped my tears.

“Akaya… yes, that’s what I’ll name you… Akaya.”

And I fell into a deep sleep.

Fin.