Matt DC ([info]awesomewells) wrote in [info]poptimists,
@ 2006-08-22 20:26:00
Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
TABLOID POPFITE!
Poll #801796 TABLOID POPFITE!
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All

Over on the ILM Paris thread I made the point that perhaps the record buying public's hostility towards the Paris Hilton album is due to the fact she's already demystified to the point of not being allowed to be a pop star. She's already a professional celebrity, releasing a record is muscling in on someone else's party. One of the wasted opportunities about the Popfites is that no one nominated anyone who is actually not a pop star. This has nothing to do with whether or not you're actually on the record - Bez would certainly be a potential winner. But there are certainly tabloid staples out there who make a much better job of being pop stars than Rachel Stevens. So without further ado, WHICH OFTHESE WOULD MAKE THE BEST POP STAR?

View Answers

David Beckham
4 (11.4%)

Coleen McLoughlin
5 (14.3%)

Jordan
4 (11.4%)

Steven Fry
8 (22.9%)

Prince Harry
9 (25.7%)

Gordon Ramsay
3 (8.6%)

Will Self
7 (20.0%)

Jade Goody
4 (11.4%)

Brian Blessed
11 (31.4%)

Kat Slater off Eastenders
4 (11.4%)

George Clooney
4 (11.4%)

Tom Cruise
5 (14.3%)

Kate Moss
9 (25.7%)

Naomi Campbell
5 (14.3%)

K-9
7 (20.0%)

And which would make the WORST pop star?


(Post a new comment)


[info]awesomewells
2006-08-22 08:30 pm UTC (link)
If all goes to plan this should SCIENTIFICALLY PINPOINT the essence of a great pop star without any of that pesky music getting in the way.

(Reply to this)


[info]alexmacpherson
2006-08-22 08:36 pm UTC (link)
a full THREE* of these have already been popstars! (and in the case of the one i ticked, v good at it too.)

*at LEAST: who knows what charity singles lurk out there

(Reply to this) (Thread)

[info]awesomewells
2006-08-22 08:50 pm UTC (link)
Kate Moss appearing on a Primal Scream album track doesn't count.

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

[info]awesomewells
2006-08-22 08:52 pm UTC (link)
OH GOOD GRIEF I just Googled 'Kate Moss Record Single' and guess what comes up!

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

[info]alexmacpherson
2006-08-22 09:08 pm UTC (link)
OUR HEROINE IS THE EPICENTRE OF THIS STORY!

The Primal Scream song with Kate M on it is my favourite Primal Scream song of all.

(Reply to this) (Parent)
For the benefit of Lex
[info]boyofbadgers
2006-08-22 08:52 pm UTC (link)

Hello, I'm Brian Blessed.

(Reply to this) (Thread)
Re: For the benefit of Lex
[info]awesomewells
2006-08-22 08:53 pm UTC (link)


HELLO, I'M BRIAN BLESSED! SLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

(Reply to this) (Parent)
Re: For the benefit of Lex
[info]alexmacpherson
2006-08-22 09:06 pm UTC (link)
He does not look like he would be a good popstar. He alarms me.

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)
Re: For the benefit of Lex
[info]boyofbadgers
2006-08-22 09:08 pm UTC (link)
It his JOB to ALARM you! He is very good at SHOUTIIIING!

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)
Re: For the benefit of Lex
[info]alexmacpherson
2006-08-22 09:09 pm UTC (link)
what is he though? is he a comedian? I do not like comedians.

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)
Re: For the benefit of Lex
[info]boyofbadgers
2006-08-22 09:13 pm UTC (link)
No! He is an ACTOR!

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)
Re: For the benefit of Lex
[info]alexmacpherson
2006-08-22 09:14 pm UTC (link)
What films has he been in?!

(Reply to this) (Parent)
Re: For the benefit of Lex
[info]freakytigger
2006-08-22 09:14 pm UTC (link)
There might be some small comedic element to his appeal I suggest.

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)
Re: For the benefit of Lex
[info]boyofbadgers
2006-08-22 09:20 pm UTC (link)
Well, he is v.funny, but he's not an actual comedian, innit?

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)
Re: For the benefit of Lex
[info]dubdobdee
2006-08-22 09:37 pm UTC (link)
also he has nearly died on the sliops of everest ON TELLY

(Reply to this) (Parent)
Re: For the benefit of Lex
[info]nicolars
2006-08-23 02:47 am UTC (link)
Beardos are automatically disqualified. Even Grizzly Adams!

(Reply to this) (Parent)

[info]xyzzzz__
2006-08-22 08:58 pm UTC (link)
only ticked Kate but I remembered (via k-punk) that apparently she hasn't given an interview in years (=> not as demystified as most on this list).

(Reply to this)


[info]alexmacpherson
2006-08-22 09:07 pm UTC (link)
NB: Pharrell has said that he is "working with" Prince Williams.

(I assume on a non-musical 'project' but ONE CAN ALWAYS HOPEFEAR)

(Reply to this) (Thread)

[info]alexmacpherson
2006-08-22 09:10 pm UTC (link)
WILLIAM.

I can never type that name without the S. I blame the Williams sisters.

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

[info]alexmacpherson
2006-08-22 09:10 pm UTC (link)
Who would make bloody good popstars.

(in fact Serena has appeared on stage with Destiny's Child already)

(Reply to this) (Parent)
GORDON'S ALIVE
[info]freakytigger
2006-08-22 09:13 pm UTC (link)
CLEARLY if I was only ticking one it would be the Greatest Living Englishman. Perhaps he would do....a rap.

K Moss is proven by science to have terrible taste in music, her whole modelling career has been built on her being a bit indie.

I think Tom Cruise is the most likely of these film stars to make something extremely horrible but dementedly compelling. Clooney has too much sense and would make a tiresome crooning record.

Jade, Colleen: yes. Colleen WITH WAYNE: Matt you were too scared to put this as an option I think.

Undoubtedly the most terrible potential record here is Will Self's spoken word with trip-hop backing. I would be astonished if this didn't already exist.

(Reply to this) (Thread)
Re: GORDON'S ALIVE
[info]freakytigger
2006-08-22 09:20 pm UTC (link)
I may mean Second Greatest Living Englishman, the Pinefox not being on yr list.

(Reply to this) (Parent)
AUGUSTUS CAESAR! JULIAN CLAN!
[info]boyofbadgers
2006-08-22 09:26 pm UTC (link)
I think Brian Blessed would make a v.good English eqv of Fatman Scoop.

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)
Re: AUGUSTUS CAESAR! JULIAN CLAN!
[info]awesomewells
2006-08-22 10:10 pm UTC (link)
Best post ever.

(Reply to this) (Parent)
Re: GORDON'S ALIVE
[info]zenith
2006-08-22 09:43 pm UTC (link)
It does exist! It's a Bomb The Bass song.

(Reply to this) (Parent)
Re: GORDON'S ALIVE
[info]awesomewells
2006-08-22 10:08 pm UTC (link)
Surely Colleen and Wayne would be the Eamon and Frankie of Fake Pop - ie RUBBISH POP STARS.

Will Self has an actual proper rock and roll story to him, namely that one about doing smack on John Major's private plane, I think he would be one of those good pop stars that give good interview but make bad records. As opposed to a novelist who gives good interview but writes bad novels.

Clooney would be a good pop star because he is cool in an authoritative way and lots of women would fancy him but likewise the records would be dull. I agree with you totally on Tom Cruise, which is why I picked him.

Putting Kat Slater in there was a mistake because we've already had one Cerys Matthews.

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)
Re: GORDON'S ALIVE
[info]dubdobdee
2006-08-22 10:12 pm UTC (link)
clooney wags his head the same as stevie wonder!

(Reply to this) (Parent)
Re: GORDON'S ALIVE
[info]nicolars
2006-08-23 02:46 am UTC (link)
I think Tom Cruise is the most likely of these film stars to make something extremely horrible but dementedly compelling.

Yes! Only he is capable of something as amazing as Blood on the Dance Floor.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

[info]dubdobdee
2006-08-22 09:49 pm UTC (link)
i waz flickin around TV and by mistake hit "eight out of ten cats" (BY MISTAKE I TELL YOU) and JADE was on it --- i was so happy! i forgot how much i love jade

i think she would be a poor popstar bcz it is a STEP DOWN FROM GODHEAD

(Reply to this)


[info]piratemoggy
2006-08-22 09:51 pm UTC (link)
I would like to see Stephen Fry and Xenomania getting down to some serious n proper work now, please.

Clearly the best non-popstar celebrity to become a popstar would be Becca's Little Sister Off Of Hollyoaks, who would be excellent in a Charlotte Church/Betty Curse way,* so long as she took the good elements of both and otherwise a horrible, terrible flop.

*AND THEN BECOME THE EMO/"GRITTY WORKING CLASS" KYLIE. OMG.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

[info]boyofbadgers
2006-08-23 08:31 am UTC (link)
But BLSOOH has REALLY terrible hair, which disqualifies her from popstardom in a way that a mere beard cannot.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

[info]katstevens
2006-08-23 09:20 am UTC (link)
Butbutbut she would go on an ACID RAMPAGE and think she cld fly and bvgger off into the Desert Of Cliché to "find herself" and shack up with Val Kilmer or summat.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

[info]awesomewells
2006-08-22 10:14 pm UTC (link)
Criminally I failed to include A CHILD on the original list. So, which famous kid would make the best pop star?

(Reply to this) (Thread)

[info]dubdobdee
2006-08-22 10:59 pm UTC (link)

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

[info]carsmilesteve
2006-08-23 09:32 am UTC (link)
hahahahahaha, yes [info]atommickbrane would make the best pop star ;)

(Reply to this) (Parent)

[info]dickmalone
2006-08-23 02:29 am UTC (link)
That girl who plays Hermoine looks like she's well on her way!

(Reply to this) (Parent)

[info]katstevens
2006-08-23 09:22 am UTC (link)
Did someone already mention Peaches Geldof?

(Reply to this) (Parent)

[info]dickmalone
2006-08-23 02:29 am UTC (link)
Oh whoops I thought the "And who would be the worst" box was for write-ins, not to pick one from the list above. Still...write-ins anyone?

(Reply to this)

Posh vs Becks
[info]byebyepride
2006-08-23 07:09 am UTC (link)
Prince Harry and David Beckham to re-record 'Out of yr mind' with 'Some Velvet Morning' as the follow-up.

(Reply to this)

Alleycat Dolls
[info]byebyepride
2006-08-23 07:11 am UTC (link)
Jordan, Colleen, Jade Goody and Kat Slater to cover 'Doncha'.

(Reply to this)

What do electric dogs dream of?
[info]byebyepride
2006-08-23 07:11 am UTC (link)
k-9 to cover that radiohead song with the Stephen Hawkins voice on it.

(Reply to this)

C*nt in the Kitchen
[info]byebyepride
2006-08-23 07:17 am UTC (link)
Gordon Ramsay to record 'rap' album. Themed around his own life as a chef and tv 'personality' and inspired by Brit-rappers like Robbie Williams, Ian Dury, John Cooper Clarke, The Streets, Sid Snot, Infinite Livez, Gordon has collaborated with top producers Pharrell, Mark Ronson, Diplo and Dangermouse. Insiders describe the record as 'edgy'. Highlights include 'If you can't stand the f*cking heat, get the f*ck out of the f*cking kitchen'; 'Where the f*ck did you learn to f*cking cook, c*nt school?'; and 'I'll charge what I f*cking like for my f*cking food you c*nt -- or did you want to f*cking cook it yourself, in which case you can f*ck off'. It's been rumoured that the record company heard no obvious single among the tracks delivered and have sent Ramsay back into the studio with Pete Waterman to record something with less swears on it.

(Reply to this) (Thread)
Re: C*nt in the Kitchen
[info]awesomewells
2006-08-23 08:36 am UTC (link)
Ramsay would make a bad pop star I fear. Aggressive autocratic sweariness is everywhere in pop and relentless slagging of other chefs pop stars would just make him come over like a member of Mogwai.

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)
Re: C*nt in the Kitchen
[info]freakytigger
2006-08-23 08:38 am UTC (link)
That said a novelty version of "Rat In Mi Kitchen" with Ramsay 'toasting' and the word rat replaced by the word 'c*nt' would go down 'a storm'.

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)
Re: C*nt in the Kitchen
[info]awesomewells
2006-08-23 09:03 am UTC (link)
CONVINCED.

(Reply to this) (Parent)
Re: C*nt in the Kitchen
[info]sbp
2006-08-23 10:38 am UTC (link)
Of course, that would be the original Dangermouse of "he's the greatest" fame.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

[info]koganbot
2006-08-23 01:42 pm UTC (link)
That girl who plays Hermione looks like she's well on her way!

Here is amazing proof of this, where she is both emo-goth and teenpop but in a never-released-on-LP obscure way (which makes her simultaneously pure pop and pure hipster).

(Reply to this) (Thread)

[info]koganbot
2006-08-23 01:43 pm UTC (link)
Also, she was once discovered drinking alcoholic beverages at her birthday party.

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

[info]koganbot
2006-08-23 01:48 pm UTC (link)
I hope that Lex likes the teenpop part - I think he might, though I know better than to count on it.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

Create an Account
Forgot your login or password?
Login w/ OpenID
English • Español • Deutsch • Русский…