Last question: Other - Wait a few years before buying another, after discussions about it and if they have noticeably become more mature.

closer to this. there would be discussion and proof of behavioral change. it would likely be months rather than years, though.

i agree

same + they would help contribute to the cost.

This.

IAWTC

What's the point of playing if you don't get to win at least some of the time? =X Or rather, if you do nothing but lose? It's one thing if you learn something in the process and can improve, but if it's something that will never be your forte, you're better off doing something else, IMHO.

As for the hypothetical situation, it really depends on the kid, how likely they are to repeat their mistake in the future, and how much they mature over time. However, I wouldn't just blindly buy them another game system right away; if they want it that badly, they would either have to pay for it themselves, or prove over time that they can be more responsible.

For the last question, I wasn't sure what you meant. If my kid broke a $300 game system, I'd make him/her pay me back for the one that was broken.

I would not buy another game system (probably not ever**) and I also would not allow the child to buy another to replace it--at least not any time soon and maybe never. If it was broken in a destructive manner, that's just unacceptable behavior. I'd think he/she needed to learn that if one breaks something purposefully, one has to do without.

I can't imagine either of my kids acting that way, though. My daughter fussed about losing when she was four, but she was not allowed to become destructive. If she were still acting that way at 10 or 11, I'd be concerned. If an adult were acting this way? Yikes.

I tried to teach my kids better ways to channel anger than being destructive, so I just don't think they'd have acted that way by the time they were 10.

**I do not play console video games. If I did and the gaming system was for my use or for my family's use, I would replace it for me and/or my husband and the kid who broke it would not be allowed to use it.

I am not very comepetitive at some games , I like winning but I am not pissed of when I am losing either because well maybe it is too common that I lose xD. which makes winning even more fun .

to the other question i would agree to most of them saying that if they wanted a new one they should get it themselves but only if they know how to control their anger.

so your husband broke the $300 dollar gaming system? haha

i think being *somewhat ambitious and competative is a good thing. to apply it to such degrees to gaming is a little silly though. i'd want an adult to put that energy into their career or other passions...

as for the last question - I've had this happen. Done. No more game system. If he'd had money then, I wouldve made him pay me. If he wants game system in future (to include psp, which he wants) he has to pay for it totally himself. I won't buy him anything b/c he routinely behaves this way. It helps muchly that he doesnt have free reign of the system any more (family received new system as gift). strict time limits are enforced.

Sorry about your husband. I have to agree w/ you. It's not about being competitive. he's a very sore loser.

Hypo - My own answer is closer to the hybrid "buy it, making them pay for it." Sure, I'll by the child a new one...eventually. Punishment for punishment's sake is of no use. A punishment that specifically attacks that poor impulse control, or at least enforces the idea that, yes, there is a trade-off. So the child has to make up for the $300, not literally, but in some fashion.

EDIT: Actually, "make up" is the wrong term. I think it should be totally forward-looking. Little Sally doesn't have to pay me back for her mistake because, well, if you start down that road, it gets really silly really fast. Parenting is not about compensation. She does have to learn that her mistake doesn't get "Poof! All Fixed!" An adult, who did as she did, would need to make sacrifices in order to replace the system. That's the important lesson. It's just that her sacrifices are less on the order of "okay, well, I guess I won't be dining out for the next three months as I save up for a new system" and more on the order of "after you've translated 300 lines of Herodotus."

Topic in General - Most games are meant to be played to win. It is insulting to the other players not to play so. The counterpoint is that grace - in victory or defeat - is what really matters.

Edited at 2009-07-05 04:36 pm (UTC)

I do get angry if I don't win at a game. If I'm playing by myself I might curse or swear, maybe yell, but it's mostly at myself/bad luck, so it's harmless. But If I'm playing with other people, I don't get that angry.

However, when I play the water game as fairs/carnivals, I don't stop til I win because I think I'm better than everyone there haha. And while those games are more than likely rigged, I still think it was my bad aim that caused me to lose.

2nd last question - mind games ;)

Computer Mac games, too?

I don't like to be around people who get really intense about winning and loosing. As long as everyone has fun playing, it shouldn't really matter. I think when playing starts to become frustrating and aggressive, the player ought to take a break. Games are designed to be enjoyable, after all.