this is seriously SO fucked up..http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zorQ
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20 July 2008 @ 08:21 pm
21 July 2008 @ 03:40 am
ужос, ужос
Генри, похожий на моего однокурсника, двигающие ножками кровоточащие жареные цыплята, эпилепсичная невеста Мэри, родившая орущие чудовище-недоноска, певичка с опухолями на щеках, театр в батарее, червяки (или эмбрионы?) падающие с потолка и вылезающие из под одеяла, блядь-соседка, кровать, в которой Генри с ней утопает, черные дыры, маленькие шкафчики, червячки, фабрика карандашей на которой из головы Генри сделают ластики и в конце самый ужас -- убиение (я все думала: хоть бы он его не убил, хоть бы не убил!) этого орущего уродца, его умирание сопровождаемое пеной, кровью и электричеством и титры:
Продюсер, сценарист и режиссер Дэвид Линч.
кто не смотрел смотреть
я под таким впечатлением, что теперь придется пересмотреть рабу любви или что-нибудь в этом роде, чтобы не приснилось.
ПС
фильм называется Голова-Ластик (Eraserhead), если кто-нибудь будет искать и не найдет, я могу его куда-нибудь залить или выложить для просмотра.
обязательно посмотрите. и скажите. фильм большая метафора, я не до конца понимаю ее.
ППС
Боже, насколько же он гениален, этот Линч. Правда, мне кажется, что с годами он подвыдохся.
Продюсер, сценарист и режиссер Дэвид Линч.
кто не смотрел смотреть
я под таким впечатлением, что теперь придется пересмотреть рабу любви или что-нибудь в этом роде, чтобы не приснилось.
ПС
фильм называется Голова-Ластик (Eraserhead), если кто-нибудь будет искать и не найдет, я могу его куда-нибудь залить или выложить для просмотра.
обязательно посмотрите. и скажите. фильм большая метафора, я не до конца понимаю ее.
ППС
Боже, насколько же он гениален, этот Линч. Правда, мне кажется, что с годами он подвыдохся.
20 July 2008 @ 07:18 pm
Oh, my dear Livejournal! How you have been neglected. I refuse to give you up, though. There is too much nostalgia wrapped up in your little arms. Anyways. I have been keeping myself uncharacteristically busy this summer. In the process of a ten hour car ride (one way) to Charleston, South Carolina with my family, then a hectic plane ride (by myself for the first time) to Austin, Texas...I've turned 22 years old. How bizarre. Twenty-two. It's strange in a way that I can't quite put my finger on. There are moments when I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror & I don't look a day over 16. Other times, I see the wrinkles around my mouth from smiling. Is it too young to think about wrinkles? Probably. But, I've always been a worrier.
In other news, I am moving into my new apartment in, like, less than a month! Hooray. I want to make it look adorable & everything I've always dreamed of having in an apartment. I really think that this is finally my chance to make it just what I want it to be!
Oh yeah. Also, I'm on Twitter! So, you should all add me if you have one. I think it's super fun. :)
20 July 2008 @ 07:14 pm
but it's beach day :(
21 July 2008 @ 02:12 am
рецидив
(с)
photo by maximus_chatsky's
каждое лето я страдаю межрёберной невралгией
когда солнце нещадно палит и улицы пахнут мёдом
по асвальту стекает растаевшее мороженое
и муравьи радуются что на ужин будет прохлада
мне - личинке смешного города
всё мечтается об огородах маленьких
когда сапочки-грабли-лопаточки
запах сена и молока парного
я бросаю курить ровно до осени
и литрами выпиваю мохито и ныряю в водоросли
малыши кидают в меня медузами а я щурюсь приветливо
мимо проходящим крошкам
они источают запах акации и их ладони промитаны лакмусом
сочное лето стекает по запястьям персиком
море укачивает и убаюкивает разбитое сердце
я жду осени как спасения от навязчивых
бесконечных мыслей о смысле и о ханжестве
и порой ощущаю себя совсем настоящей
как описывал Маяковский, сидя летом у себя на даче
20 July 2008 @ 03:57 pm
alemany
i am using this computer on a fradulent library card, the zine fest was amazing, denver seems far away , and i know it's early to say this, but i think i'm in love.
happiness.
happiness.
20 July 2008 @ 06:28 pm
it's summer because i love you.
lonely20 July 2008 @ 05:34 pm
I'm inlove
if anyone asks me what my type is I'll point them in this direction. I want him sooooo bad! he's mine!
21 July 2008 @ 12:57 am
хеппи енд
( ... )
- а jacek sienkiewicz круто отыграл дааа?
- даааа
- а ты что ли и плясал под jacek sienkiewicz?
- отпляяяясыыываааал
[это про вчерашнюю ночь]
ps а ещё я пошла на выставку и нашла автора наконец-то фотографии, которая у меня висит в профайле - и увидела её вживую. автор - hiroshi sugimoto а на фотографии изображена изабель юппер. самое удивительное то, что это полароид (?) ----->
Current Mood: кофе на пикнике был хорошим
20 July 2008 @ 04:32 pm
sandcastles!
So instead of posting that stupid Vivid Lotus sign that I said i'd post at the beginning of every entry, I think i'll post icons. Once again, I saved these yesterday, but can't remember which site I got them from, so remind me if their yours. Anyways, this will be a short second entry of the day. I told you earlier that I was going to see some sandcastles down Revere Beach, and I would post some pictures. So, I went and uh, here are some pictures!
1: My brother and I ( I'm aware i'm obsessed with my sunglasses)
2: My mom and I (I look horrible here)
3: My dad and I.
4-12: cool sandcastles!
That's really it, lol. I guess I could've waited untill tomorrow to post this, but I didn't feel like it. Haha, well after the sandcastles, we went to the Banana Boat, which is like an ice cream parlor, and Cole and I got Hot Fudge Sundaes! They were absolutly delicious. Then, it absolutly started to downpour, so we left, and now here I am!
Untill next time;
XOXO,
Eva.
20 July 2008 @ 09:33 pm
I returned home to be eyed suspiciously by a MOGGY.
My mother is looking after our neighbours cat, Muffin, for a week :D.
She smelled my hand, which probably had a faint whiff of tuna on it, and decided i could brush her and kiss her wee fury head. I am trying to think of ways to get her to sleep on my bed tonight.
Muffin
she has the cutest wee huffy face.
My mother is looking after our neighbours cat, Muffin, for a week :D.
She smelled my hand, which probably had a faint whiff of tuna on it, and decided i could brush her and kiss her wee fury head. I am trying to think of ways to get her to sleep on my bed tonight.
she has the cutest wee huffy face.
20 July 2008 @ 10:12 am
shock;
Ok, so I know this is sad, but I saved these icons yesterday, and already forgot where I got them from. If your reading my journal, and you made these, just tell me and i'll put credit up. Ok, so today i'm totally heartbroken. I really really really miss Heath Ledger. I'm really just beginning to realize how very talented he was. It's shocking to me that he's really gone. I watched Brokeback Mountain last night, and I can't get over his performance. Jake and Heath played each role perfectly. The movie was so real to me sometimes, that I actually forgot I was watching a movie. I cried like a baby as well. At the end, when Heath opens up the closet door, and sees the 2 blood-stained shirts from when they were wrestling back on the mountain. I couldn't hold in my emotion, I was in awe. I mean, losing the one you love the most in this world. Being alone for the rest of your life, it's just so sad. I actually couldn't believe when Jack Twist died. I was just staring at my tv, my mouth wide open, and my eyes as big as the sun. I loved their story, how they had a secret love affair, and went up to Brokeback. My heart was in tangles by the end, just seeing how sad and lonely Heath's character was. I just can't believe he died, he was just the best. Well anyways, before I start crying again.
After I posted last yesterday, I told you about the movie and stuff. Well after that, I went over with Lexi, and we went to feel the water, since it was incredibly hot out, but it was absolutly freezing. Then, we went into her house and watched about half of The Eye. It wasn't that scary, but it was pretty good. I had to leave though, because I needed to eat. We ordered Chinese food, and watched Panic At The Disco on MTV. Panic is my favorite band, if you hadn't already known. Then, I just watched Brokeback Mountain like twice, because I had caught it in the middle of the story, and it was on twice in a row, so I wanted to see the beginning and how the story all began. It was just a great movie. Then I watched That 70's Show with Cole, then I went to bed. Today, my mom's just going grocery shopping, and we might go see the sand-castles down at Revere Beach. They have this big sand-castle contest every year, and artists from all over the country come and compete. If we go, i'll take pictures, and share them in another journal. Sunday is current events right? Well my little rant about Heath seemed pretty current, so there ya go :]. Haha, i'm incredibly lazy. Well, that's all for now, Untill next time;
XOXO;
Eva.
P.S 10 days till Florida! WOOO!
20 July 2008 @ 07:47 pm
carrie & big.
I picked up a textbook today that I’d put aside for the last six weeks of school holidays. I figure going back tomorrow means I should probably have a look at things.
The bookmark that fell out was a photo of you.
I don’t remember putting it there, those weeks ago.
I guess I didn’t burn everything.
To be honest, I couldn’t bring myself to burn everything.
I know deep down that it’s not going to help anything. I still think of you every second of the day. My heart stops when someone walks past with a blue and black backpack. I only keep certain people on my friends lists because it’s a pathetic way of keeping tabs. (Though I won’t feel guilty for that. Obviously you do too or you wouldn’t be reading this now.) I can’t even hug another guy without having flashes of you. I don’t like to go into my own kitchen because I remember all the times I’d be standing at the bench and you’d come up behind me and put your arms around me, still half undressed because we never left the bed when you were here. Unless we were on the couch, but the point to be made about our state of dress is the same.
Even just now. I managed to put the photo down and continue with reading. I got through about twelve pages - but who’s counting? - Before I had to close my eyes, and try to stop my mind from showing me images of you over and over. It’s pouring down rain. I can’t listen to RX Queen anymore.
I’m too afraid to be intimate with anyone else because the one time I tried months ago, after a colossal amount of beer, once again all I could think of and see was you. I didn’t even let him finish. I couldn’t. I turned over and pretended to be asleep. I know if you were reading this, you’d be turning away in disgust. Telling me you don’t want to know or read any of this. But you do. I know you do. And I don’t know if you ever appreciated it, but you’re the only one I’d be completely honest with.
You’re the only one I care about. People I had intense yearlong relationships with; the whole sleeping in the same bed every night, dinner with the parents, holidays away alone, picnics beside lakes, promises of forever and after. These people mean absolutely nothing compared to you.
And I know it’s real because I burst into tears over this. It doesn’t gradually well up. I can be thinking about it for hours, and hold the hurt in until no one else can see it. It explodes, it stops breathing, and it fucking hurts. It’s usually in my car, after I’ve been able to escape my responsibilities to the rest of the world. To me that is something more than dramatic public angst; that I want to hide it. I’m ashamed of it.
I know it’s real because it’s not about me. I want to kill myself every day but I don’t because then I’d never get to see you again. (This is the part where I cry.)
I don’t know whether you’re laughing at me over all this.
It’s obvious I still care about you.
You’re impossible to read.
I miss you,
And you know what else.
The bookmark that fell out was a photo of you.
I don’t remember putting it there, those weeks ago.
I guess I didn’t burn everything.
To be honest, I couldn’t bring myself to burn everything.
I know deep down that it’s not going to help anything. I still think of you every second of the day. My heart stops when someone walks past with a blue and black backpack. I only keep certain people on my friends lists because it’s a pathetic way of keeping tabs. (Though I won’t feel guilty for that. Obviously you do too or you wouldn’t be reading this now.) I can’t even hug another guy without having flashes of you. I don’t like to go into my own kitchen because I remember all the times I’d be standing at the bench and you’d come up behind me and put your arms around me, still half undressed because we never left the bed when you were here. Unless we were on the couch, but the point to be made about our state of dress is the same.
Even just now. I managed to put the photo down and continue with reading. I got through about twelve pages - but who’s counting? - Before I had to close my eyes, and try to stop my mind from showing me images of you over and over. It’s pouring down rain. I can’t listen to RX Queen anymore.
I’m too afraid to be intimate with anyone else because the one time I tried months ago, after a colossal amount of beer, once again all I could think of and see was you. I didn’t even let him finish. I couldn’t. I turned over and pretended to be asleep. I know if you were reading this, you’d be turning away in disgust. Telling me you don’t want to know or read any of this. But you do. I know you do. And I don’t know if you ever appreciated it, but you’re the only one I’d be completely honest with.
You’re the only one I care about. People I had intense yearlong relationships with; the whole sleeping in the same bed every night, dinner with the parents, holidays away alone, picnics beside lakes, promises of forever and after. These people mean absolutely nothing compared to you.
And I know it’s real because I burst into tears over this. It doesn’t gradually well up. I can be thinking about it for hours, and hold the hurt in until no one else can see it. It explodes, it stops breathing, and it fucking hurts. It’s usually in my car, after I’ve been able to escape my responsibilities to the rest of the world. To me that is something more than dramatic public angst; that I want to hide it. I’m ashamed of it.
I know it’s real because it’s not about me. I want to kill myself every day but I don’t because then I’d never get to see you again. (This is the part where I cry.)
I don’t know whether you’re laughing at me over all this.
It’s obvious I still care about you.
You’re impossible to read.
I miss you,
And you know what else.
20 July 2008 @ 01:42 am
Memeage
I.
Ask me a question about
1. Friends
2. Sex
3. Music
4. Vices
5. Love
6. LiveJournal/internet
II.
Ask me to take pictures of any aspect of my life that you're interested in/curious about -- it can be anything from my favorite shirt to my cell phone. Leave your requests as a comment to this entry, I'll snap the pictures and post them soon-ish. It's like a glimpse into my world!
III.
Go to http://www.musicoutfitters.com
- Enter the year you graduated from high school in the search function and get the list of 100 most popular songs of that year.
- Bold the songs you like, strike through the ones you hate and underline your favorites. Do nothing to the ones you don't remember/care about.
( Top 100 Songs of 2001 )
Oh my god that was depressing. Most of the list was things I don't even know (do you seriously think I'm listening to Nelly or 98 Degrees?) but the stuff I do know...god.
Ask me a question about
1. Friends
2. Sex
3. Music
4. Vices
5. Love
6. LiveJournal/internet
II.
Ask me to take pictures of any aspect of my life that you're interested in/curious about -- it can be anything from my favorite shirt to my cell phone. Leave your requests as a comment to this entry, I'll snap the pictures and post them soon-ish. It's like a glimpse into my world!
III.
Go to http://www.musicoutfitters.com
- Enter the year you graduated from high school in the search function and get the list of 100 most popular songs of that year.
- Bold the songs you like, strike through the ones you hate and underline your favorites. Do nothing to the ones you don't remember/care about.
( Top 100 Songs of 2001 )
Oh my god that was depressing. Most of the list was things I don't even know (do you seriously think I'm listening to Nelly or 98 Degrees?) but the stuff I do know...god.
Current Location: our apartment
Current Mood: 
sleepy
sleepy20 July 2008 @ 11:24 am
летний дождь
Люблю. Когда не нужно никуда идти,
можно проснуться, просто лежать и слушать,
как за окном со всей дури поливает,
запах свежести и мокрого асфальта
разносится со скоростью света и пронизывает всё вокруг
Когда можно подойти к окну с чашкой кофе и сигаретой,
откусить горячую гренку и смотреть на стену воды
________________________________________
Люблю дождь в "Ностальгии" Тарковского
звук там кажется ещё реальнее, чем в жизни
можно проснуться, просто лежать и слушать,
как за окном со всей дури поливает,
запах свежести и мокрого асфальта
разносится со скоростью света и пронизывает всё вокруг
Когда можно подойти к окну с чашкой кофе и сигаретой,
откусить горячую гренку и смотреть на стену воды
________________________________________
Люблю дождь в "Ностальгии" Тарковского
звук там кажется ещё реальнее, чем в жизни
Current Music: Rolling Stones - Rain Fall Down
19 July 2008 @ 11:43 pm
Photos from Edinburgh, part one
Current Location: our apartment
Current Mood: 
listless
listlessCurrent Music: Bruce Springsteen & The E Street Band - Glory Days
19 July 2008 @ 08:52 pm
Friday Five and stuff
Huge horrible threatening-to-leave fight the other night because I wanted to put posters up. But um. I think things are ok now. I'm just supposed to not bring him/wanting to do stuff up, like, ever. And "think about other things." Which is, you know, so simple. *rolls eyes* But things are ok right now like I said. Trying to focus on the things I was excited about in the other post, and getting the apartment together and looking for work and all that. I've seen my new therapist twice and have an appointment with my new psychiatrist next week so that's good, right?
Friday Five a day late:
1. If you could change one life-changing event in the life of someone important to you, would you?You mean like keeping John from getting married? Um, that's kind of a weird question. I guess so, if it was something bad and I could change it into something good.
2. Which do you think is easier to do, being friends for many years, or being life partners for many years? Being friends, definitely. So much more comes into play when you're involved with someone romantically that makes it so much more complicated.
3. Have you ever walked away from someone you considered a friend? Usually they're the ones walking away from me.
4. If you had to choose between telling the truth and hurting a friend or lying and making them happy, which would you choose? Depends what it is. If it's a little thing that doesn't really matter, I might lie. But if it's something important I would definitely tell the truth.
5. Which would you rather hear--the truth which will hurt, or the comforting lie? The truth, I think.
Friday Five a day late:
1. If you could change one life-changing event in the life of someone important to you, would you?
2. Which do you think is easier to do, being friends for many years, or being life partners for many years? Being friends, definitely. So much more comes into play when you're involved with someone romantically that makes it so much more complicated.
3. Have you ever walked away from someone you considered a friend? Usually they're the ones walking away from me.
4. If you had to choose between telling the truth and hurting a friend or lying and making them happy, which would you choose? Depends what it is. If it's a little thing that doesn't really matter, I might lie. But if it's something important I would definitely tell the truth.
5. Which would you rather hear--the truth which will hurt, or the comforting lie? The truth, I think.
Current Location: our apartment
Current Mood: 
silly
sillyCurrent Music: Gunther - Enormous Emotion (I Love You)
19 July 2008 @ 08:21 pm
soo
:D
turns out my family in mulheim dropped out, don't know why but I rlly couldn't care less
BECAUSE!
I have a new family in marburg which ISNT ghetto and is faaaaaaar more my taste/style.
XD can't wait 4 weeks!
ooooooooh ja, so next sunday i'm leavin' for that trip around the US. WOOH. airstream WOOH.
It'll be fun, I know. I have to keep that in mind.
my dad said I wont get a laptop till we come back.
and uhhh, thats all the news for right now...
OH WAIT! 1 more thing, I just got back from SC which was supa dupa funnnotastic!
turns out my family in mulheim dropped out, don't know why but I rlly couldn't care less
BECAUSE!
I have a new family in marburg which ISNT ghetto and is faaaaaaar more my taste/style.
XD can't wait 4 weeks!
ooooooooh ja, so next sunday i'm leavin' for that trip around the US. WOOH. airstream WOOH.
It'll be fun, I know. I have to keep that in mind.
my dad said I wont get a laptop till we come back.
and uhhh, thats all the news for right now...
OH WAIT! 1 more thing, I just got back from SC which was supa dupa funnnotastic!
19 July 2008 @ 08:20 pm
Alabama Song
New glasses. I look like an animal. Mrah.
Oh and I just won a Nikon 35mm SLR on Ebay for $66. Finally, I have one of my own.