Poetry Year 2005

18:49 Jag började på Tina Fey men slutade upp på Mary Poppins: tinyurl.com/47ryoq #

21:24 Rätt stilnivå med "dom", "kuk" och "fitta" i samma mening. Mitt Word, mitt Word... #

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Went to bed at four-thirty, woke up wired at eight-thirty. I'm sick with exhaustion, aching everywhere, and I'm starting to consider sleeping pills if they'd make it possible for me to sleep in the mornings.

During last night's Exalted session Noriko pulled the least subtle theft ever, involving a martial arts roll and a specialization in "while half naked" to appear to get pummeled in order to steal a document from plain sight. He then proceeded to step right into the Emissary's office, lie badly, talk back, and walk out of there alive.

The fact that the Emissary didn't kill him overshadows just about anything else that happened last night, up to and including taking control of a first age tower in central Nexus and sort of accidentally announcing our presence there to the rest of the town with a spectacular light show visible for miles and miles. If nothing else, we're getting good at keeping the Illuminated Cult busy and drawing (unwanted?) attention to ourselves.

12:50 GRRRR! Jag och mitt Word kommer inte alls överrens om avstånd mellan stycken. Varför gör den inte bara som JAG vill?!?!?! #

13:01 Äcklig gammal svensk komediskådespelare...? #

13:58 Varför känns "another point of view" så mycket mer fel än "different pov" när det första är vanligare? Hmpf! #

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Yesterday I would have stayed home from work if it hadn't meant staying home period. It didn't seem ethical to sleep all day and then pretend to be well enough to travel in the evening.

I'm healthier today. Less whiny. I no longer look like a zombie, and my mental capacities have been somewhat restored. I'm wearing my pretty dress for strategic reasons (the more I dress up, the less I feel like dying) and I think I can make this work.

I've had my ass kicked at Mario Kart. I love that game.

17:33 Och en Twilighttrailer: tinyurl.com/4hpxh6 #

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So, I discover today that Iceland is crashing, hard, economywise. In itself, it's a bit surprising to people with about as much grasp of world news as I have. But what really caught my eye while reading up on it was the following:

Tension with Britain has flared anew during the current crisis. It centers on accounts, worth an estimated 8 billion pounds, that Britons hold in the Icelandic banks; while the British government has guaranteed private savers' accounts, charities and local government organizations fear that they will lose their money. The government of Prime Minister Gordon Brown of Britain has used powers granted under anti-terrorism laws to freeze British assets of Landsbanki until the standoff is resolved.

"We do not consider this to be a particularly friendly act," Haarde said, adding that he had tried to defuse the situation in a telephone call with Brown on Thursday.

...

Let's take that again. The British government is trying to issue a government guarantee for money in Icelandic banks belonging to British citizens. Already they seem to be working outside their reach.

And they try to perform this expatriate bank guarantee by ... using anti-terrorism laws to freeze the bank's assets!?

This isn't scope creep any longer. This is grabbing the scope and throwing it high up in the air. Tell me again why I shouldn't be worried about and opposed to all this anti-terrorism legislation?

En intervju med Gaiman om Wonder Woman. Jag var inte riktigt beredd på hur många gånger han skulle använda "bondage". ;)

Annars. Jag har sovit i många, många timmar. Men tröttheten är borta ur min kropp, så det var nog en bra idé. Vill inte översätta, så klart, men det är ganska lugnt det också. Tvätta ska jag göra.

Jag behövde igår som lugn dag när jag kom ut vid halv åtta tiden för att äta middag ute med Dennis och bara kände mig nervös och orolig av att vara hemifrån. Allt var liksom lite obehagligt och inkräktande. Men jag tror att det är lugnt nu.

Träden utanför fönstret (inte de precis intill huset) är vackra i gyllene färger. Lite som perfekta målningar av höstträd. Det gör mig lite glad varje gång jag tittar ut eller går hemifrån.

Sugen på att baka nåt sött.

Sammanhängande text verkar vara ett problem. ;)

07:52 Oheligt tidigt. Riktigt trött. Vill bara strunta i saker. #

11:27 Skriva ut 40-tal sidor till lektionen. Den nya skrivarpatronen kommer till användning, men jag måste hitta den billigare nånstans. #

15:11 Hm, hm, hm. En Twilightaffisch: tinyurl.com/5x5636 #

19:29 Amazing Thai here I come! Och "squee!!!" för förlängd Kara/Lee brig scene *tårögd suck*. #

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Although reluctantly and with much grumbling, I've managed to finish all of today's mandatory activities. Since I probably won't be in any shape to go running this weekend and I'm bringing Alice instead of books, my bag is lighter than it's ever been. The apartment's reasonably clean. I've done the laundry.

I've also slept a lot, eaten too little, watched too much Buffy for any sane person to even contemplate, typed up my notes from last Exalted session, stared at my pile of books on the desk with the loathing that only comes from weeks of procrastination, thought about Sidereals and the Arcane Fate, failed to write, felt sorry for myself, had a nosebleed, worried about work and thought about NaNoWriMo with a mixture of dread and despair.

My plan is to definitely, absolutely be well enough for both work and traveling tomorrow. I bet more sleep would be great for that.

No, I'm not doing NaNoWriMo this year. I need to spend time on working (yes, I do), and even if the horse won't have half as much to do in November as he has in October, he still takes time. I tried to write a novel last November and ended somewhere in chapter 9 - and I won't have more time now, so... no. I'll miss all the kickoff/TGIO get-togethers, though. And NaNoWriMo still is the only reason I have found to not wish November would end. But no.

ETA: And besides, the t-shirts are horrible this year. (And sour. I'm sure they are sour too. So there.)

I'm sick today, home from work and feeling guilty about it. The things I have to do today involve cleaning the apartment so that I'll have something nice to come home to on Sunday night, doing laundry and packing my bag. The list of things I should do is longer. What I want to do is sleep.

Been doing the nostalgia thing, listening to music and thinking about all those songs that I used to love that now bore me to tears.

I have no energy for anything. My hair is too long. My skin itches.

Planen har ju hela veckan varit att krasha i eftermiddag. Sen blev veckan både jobbigare och lättare än planerat, men jag tänker fortfarande ta ut min kraschtid. Dock har jag på Jannies förslag lagt till "och brinna" till planen. Jag är inte säker på hur det kommer ta sig i uttryck -- läsa, tv, skriva, sova eller surfa -- men det behövs och kommer att bli bra.

Det har varit väldigt roligt med filologin den här veckan. Eller kanske främst att jag inte alls är lika nervös längre och därför faktiskt kan argumentera för min sak på ett någorlunda vettigt sätt. Jag tycker ju faktiskt också att saker blir roligare om de är svåra, för bedriften att lyckas blir så mycket större.

Uppåt. Det är ändå uppåt.

15:55 The internets is back! #

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Vad heter anti-nostalgi? Jag och Elin har pratat vår gamla högstadieklass ikväll. Och förutom att mitt dåliga minne åter gjorde sig påminnt (låg EQ, gott folk ;)) så var det väldigt informativt. Och det bästa är att jag fick veta att Elin för några år sedan hällde ett glas vatten på det jävla puckot efter att ha sluddrat nåt om hur hemsk han var. Jag blev väldigt glad, trots att jag bara för någon vecka sen tänkte att jag inte längre är arg. Men åter. Det kändes också alldeles bra att det faktiskt fanns någon att dela denna glädje med. Ingen annan jag känner kan faktiskt förstå. Hur ska jag förklara? "Det var krig" är väl ett sätt. Ett annat är att jag på en termin slutade att prata i klassrummet -- vilket väl faktiskt får sägas vara lite av en bedrift från dessa pojkars sida. Hur som helst. Oavsett lämlighet, åsikter om våld och sånt så är jag glad att hon hällde vatten på honom.

Annars. Lugnare. Tror jag. Nytt stressmoment imorgon bitti. Sen lektion som jag är helt oförberedd på. Skit samma.

10:06 Definitivt trevligt när pluggande tar mindre tid än man trodde. :) #

15:17 Visst borde det gå att läsa intensivt i 45 minuter? Oh! Måste skicka ett mail först! Procrastinate! #

15:30 Två mail att skriva! Och nu är de skickade... :( Tillbaka till artikeln. #

21:21 I lättjans tjänst. Sno några rim, strunta i resten. Och har 'lekkamrat' bara en betoning och är den på första stavelsen? #

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First, I wrote this:

"Useless, miserable day in a Tuesday kind of sense. I'm cranky and headachey and worthless and angry. I don't want to do yoga. I don't want to have patience with myself or forgive myself, I don't want to listen to my body or meditate. I don't want to try harder. I don't want to be nice. I want to go home."

Then I had tea and dinner, cried a little and watched Buffy kick Riley into a wall, and though I've still got a headache and I really don't want to do yoga, life seems manageable again. Besides, it's just ninety minutes, and with a little luck those wonderfully excruciating balancing positions with names I can never recall will help me find some peace and quiet in my head.

Things are slowly (way to slow for a restless Mi) starting to resolve into good stuff again.
Yesterday was fantastic. A productive end meeting in Västerås for a part of a project. The future is bright. A just as productive meeting in Stockholm, also with very good news for the future. An eye exam, 6 months since the surgery, ended with "Well, we won't contact you since everything seems perfectly good with your eyes, but you know where to find us if you need us" and a 1.2 on both eyes, better than expected. :)
Liquorice ice cream to celebrate, and cat cuddling.
My flowers went to a good home where they will be seen and tended (my flatmate in .se does tend them once in a while but he isn't really that interested in flowers).
All buses and flights went on time and arrived early. The book Artur told me to buy (Lem, The Cyberiad) is so geeky in parts that I can't avoid laughing out loud...

I've been longing to get home even if it's just an empty house. It is home.
When I came home my parcel from Amazon was just by my door, I'm surprised it wasn't nicked it since it's probably been there the whole weekend. Anyway, in it were my new, cuddly, nice speakers. For being that size they have very much umphh in them. Now I can use my dance pad on Fotpall again. *WHEE*

Now it's work and Project Pitchfork day. Sub base, sub base, sub base... my sofa vibrates. *HAPPINESS*

Leif will be home in less then a week. :D

In tonight's dream I had dinner with Lucy Lawless. A nice change from battling the forces of darkness every time I close my eyes. I don't think that anyone was in mortal danger at any point during the night, and I'm pretty sure there were no souls on the line. Yay, mental stability!

15:28 Bra och dåligt om vart annat. Kallt också. #

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I got cited.
http://arxiv.org/abs/0809.4791
Johannes Huebschmann is one of the bigger names in A-infinity. He did a lot of work on using an A-infinity module structure on an appropriate spectral sequence to compute group cohomology back in the 1980s, and it seems as if you can't really mention A-infinity and group cohomology without at least mentioning his work.

And in his latest preprint, he cites my preprint! I'm flagged as the person pointing out that you can algorithmize the Kadeishvili proof of the minimality theorem, and therefore start doing computer algebra with it.

Woohoo!