Perfect Parent

Thought this was a great entry on ways to teach kids about saving, spending and the value o' cash.  It's from the Get Rich Slowly feed to subscribe to via LJ.  A good read and wanted to share before I totally forgot.

• Saving With Albert: Teaching a Four-Year-Old the Value of Money

Ok so I plan on raising my kid to believe that people can do or not do whatever they want with their own bodies.  This would be things like shaving/not shaving, haircuts, style of dress etc.

But then I was thinking, if he has one of those scraggly teenage mustaches and decides he doesn't want to shave it, will I mentally mock him as I do to other such young lads?  I mean, I couldn't possibly be a hypocrite and say "You look dumb, shave that" but I'm sure I would THINK it!

My husband doesn't really like the idea of daycare. To him it's just a waste of money for something we could do ourselves (We both know this is not always the case). If we want to keep our house, I'm sure I'll have to go back to work, plus I'm pretty sure I'll want to since he works from home and we'll probably be all sick of each other being home all the time.

He's suggested that he take care of the kid at home. He's sure it will work since a lot of his work can be done in off-hours and for the stuff that requires travel or scheduled conference calls, I can either take some time off or his mom could babysit for an hour or two.

What worries me about this is that he might find it too stressful and just freak the fuck out. He disagrees. He's actually done way more kid taking care of in his life than I have so I'll have to trust him on this.

Just to have a back up plan I looked into local day cares to see what's what.

• The subsidized day cares have big waiting lists but the private ones do not.
  
• They run from $130-$200 per week.
  
• They take children starting from 6 months to a year up until school age (5).
  
• The cost seems to include lunch and snacks.
  
• All the ones I've seen seem to stipulate that the care giver gets x number of days off for which I would still be paying but would have to make alternate care arrangements.
  
• Many of them have immediate availability which means that I won't have to worry about waiting lists.
• Many of the care givers have training in early childhood education

My issues:

• I plan on raising a vegetarian until they can decide for themselves if they want to eat meat.
  In addition to this I plan on feeding them only home made foods and I worry that include meals would be hot dogs and Kraft Dinner
• I don't like the idea of paying for a week of vacation and possibly having to pay someone else for day care at the same time. I also don't like that the other alternative is that I take my vacation at the same time they do. I want to be free to choose my own vacation time I want to pay for the services I receive, no more, no less.
• I plan on using cloth diapers but I have heard of some day cares not using them and the parents being forced to switch

So anyways, I figure we'll try out my husband's plan. I know some people have successfully done it (Dooce for example) so we can probably make it work. I don't work long hours to begin with and they are reduced for half the year. I might even be able to work out some kind of half day schedule for a little while until preschool kicks in. If it really doesn't work, then we can sign up for a local day care. Even half days of day care might just be the bit of help we'll need.

With all that said, we'll just have to wait and see and try stuff and hope for the best.

So I guess it's big news that Britney Spears' younger sister is pregnant. She has her own TV show and the Nickelodeon channel issued this creepy statement:

"We respect Jamie Lynn's decision to take responsibility in this sensitive and personal situation. We know this is a very difficult time for her and her family, and our primary concern right now is for Jamie Lynn's well being."

WTF??? "sensitive," "difficult time," "well being"?? The issued statement makes the pregnancy seem like a cancer and it's very wrong to treat somebody like this...don't they realize that this "difficult time" is a permanent decision and that it's shitty to say that about somebody's child?

She has enough money, she's well off, except for the fact that her family is insane I do not think that it is so horrible that she is having a child.

What do colouring books teach kids?  To colour in the lines!  Well HERE is a line of ANTI-Colouring Books that challenge kids to be creative. 

If I hadn't already done my Christmas shopping I would totally get one for each kid I know. I'll definitely get some for my spawn when the time comes.

Wow . Way to go . You're special . Outstanding . Excellent . Great . Good . Neat . Well done . Remarkable . I knew you could do it . I'm proud of you . Super star . Nice work . Looking good . You're on top of it . You're catching on . Now you've got it . How smart . Good job . That's incredible . Hot dog . Remarkable job . You're beautiful . You're a winner . You make me happy . Hip, hip hooray . You're important . Magnificent . Beautiful . Fantastic . You're on target . You're on your way . How nice . You're spectacular . You're darling . Super . Super job . Beautiful work . Good for you . Nothing can stop you now . Dynamite . You're fantastic . Awesome . You're precious . Fantastic job . You've discovered the secret . Bingo . Great discovery . You are responsible . You are exciting . You are fun . You're a real trooper . Marvelous . Terrific . You're growing up . Outstanding performance . You tried hard . You figured it out . What a good listener . You're a treasure . You mean a lot to me . You're a good friend . That's correct . A big hug . What an imagination . You learned it right . You're incredible . Now you're flying . Bravo . Wonderful . I like you . I respect you . You're sensational . Phenomenal . A+ job . Hooray for you . You're unique . You care . Creative job . You belong . You brighten my day . Super work . That's the best . You made my day . Say I love you! ♥ . Beautiful sharing . You mean the world to me . You're important . You've got a friend . You're a joy . You make me laugh . You're A-ok my buddy . I trust you . You're perfect . You're wonderful . A big kiss . Exceptional performance . p.s. Remember, a smile is worth 1000 words!

I think I would do an art activity as daily as possible when I have children.

I just LOVE this show, always have:

http://www.hitentertainment.com/ARTATTACK/

At age 4 my son WANTS to help. At 14 he’ll roll his eyes and want to lock himself in his room if I don’t respect him NOW and teach him. If I don’t make him feel needed at 4, he’ll not have the desire to take care of his momma, daddy and sisters at 14, 21, 40. If I don’t let him know he’s a vital part of our routine NOW, he’ll feel useless and insignificant to the family later. I believe that - no hyperbole.

Read the rest here

Disney is in an uproar demanding a retraction on a University of Washington study that their Baby Einstein videos don’t advance children’s learning development, and in fact “infants who watched DVD’s and videos designed for babies understood fewer words than did infants who didn’t watch the recorded programs.” No news yet on whether Disney will sue for that retraction in order to save the “educational patina” of this $200 million a year brand.


MORE AT THE SOURCE

This idea is inspired by this post.

Basically, the idea is that when your kid is misbehaving, in addition to a time out they must do a chore that they wouldn't normally be required to do.  I say normally required because I think kids should have age appropriate chores to teach responsibility such as cleaning up after themselves, separating their laundry etc.

Anyways, the jobs would either all be written on paper and chosen at random out of a jar or I would just pick one based on what needed to be done around the house.

What types of jobs would you include in this (feel free to specify age groups)?

I'm compiling this list primarily from this article.  Please leave more ideas in the comments and I'll edit the list!

1. Large cardboard boxes - Perfect for making houses and small castles. A large cardboard box can entertain an imaginative child for hours. Make sure you are nearby to take pictures and plenty of door knocking. Hint: look for an appliance store in your area. They often have many of the large boxes they are willing to give you as opposed to putting in the trash.
2. Rubber band and pencil crazy bot - A simple toy you probably remember from elementary school. Take two unsharpened pencils and wrap a rubber band around the center. Twist the pencils lengthwise against each other (as you would wind a propeller on a toy plane). Set down flat on a table and let the jumping begin. Teach your child not to twist the rubber band too tightly or it will break. Make sure to have plenty of extra rubber bands handy just in case.
3. Origami - Find patterns on line or from a library book and use up scrap paper
4. Home Depot Kids Workshop - The huge hardware conglomerate is a great refuge for Dads everywhere, but now they offer kids workshops one Saturday per month (check your local Home Depot for time and location). At the workshop kids learn how to build birdhouses, bat houses, stock car racers, airplanes, wooden flowerpot holders and more. It's a great Saturday morning activity where your kids can learn the skills necessary to fix your roof when you get too old to climb up there.
5. Plant something - A simple way to teach young children how to take care of a living organism is to plant something. You can use containers made of old plastic cups with holes in the bottom or you can plant outdoors depending on the season. Digging in dirt is great fun for a child. They are also thrilled when the little baby plant awakens from the soil. Suddenly, they have something fragile to take care of. Hint: I find that planting green beans provides the quickest results. Bean plants begin to poke their heads through the soil in just a few short days.
6. Water sprinkler - While watering the lawn, water your kids too. On a hot summer day, your grass needs 30 minutes of water. Send your kid out in a bathing suit and you'll kill two birds with one stone.
7. Bubbles bubbles everywhere - Kids and adults alike love to blow bubbles. Mix up your own batch by pouring a teaspoon or so of dish soap into a cup and adding approximately 3 teaspoons of water. Stir and then test. You can make a free bubble wand by unbending a large paperclip and folding it back into a triangle with a small handle. You may need to add a little more soap or water to get the perfect bubble. Hint: pour the bubble solution into a small plate so it's easier to get the bubble film onto the bubble wand.
8. Catch Fireflies - As a kid, I remember fond days of catching fireflies and putting them into a mayo jar with holes punched in the lid. Your kids will love it too. If you don't have wooded areas in your yard, you can find a park. The fireflies should begin to light the sky around dusk. Teach your kids how to gently catch them by letting them land in their hand. You can collect them into a jar, but please be sure to let them go at the end of the evening so they don't die. (This teaches responsibility and respecting nature.)
9. Tin can and string telephone - You don't necessarily need tin cans for this project. Two plastic or styrofoam cups and some twine will do.  This project gets your child's physics education off to a great start by teaching vibration and harmonics. Hint: Try the phone under doors and around corners of your house. If you keep the string taut it will still work.
1. Using a tack or the end of a pin, punch a hole into the center of the bottom of each cup.
   
2. Cut a piece of light string 25 feet or longer.
   
3. Feed one end of the string through the hole of one of the cups
   
4. Tie a large knot on the string so it doesn't fall back through the hole.
   
5. Feed the other end of the string through the other cup and tie a knot like you did for the first cup.
   
6. Now give the cup to your child and walk away from each other until the string is tight.
   
7. Now you can whisper back and forth into your child's new telephone.
10. Make Playdough - See this entry for instructions
11. Do science experiments - There are a bunch of ideas on this site.  Any other good resources for this idea?
    

The Creative Family: How to Encourage Imagination and Nurture Family Connections

Between work and school, music lessons, and sports practice, there is less and less time to connect as a family. Those few moments together are often spent making meals, doing homework, or watching TV. In this inspiring book, Amanda Soule, a young mother of three, presents simple ways to use arts and crafts and other forms of creativity to deepen family connections.
For parents of all backgrounds, The Creative Family offers unique creative activities for the whole family. The range of projects includes: imaginative play such as dress up, home theater and parlor games; arts and crafts such as family drawing time and knitting with children; nature explorations such as creating garden journals and making natural toys; and family celebrations that include making music and displaying children's art. These fun and engaging alternatives to television, video games, and the computer are meant to captivate children´s imaginations, celebrate their achievements, and express love and gratitude as a family.

When I have a kid of the appropriate age, I will make them play-dough and hide the colour in the middle.

INSPIRATION FOUND HERE

Here is a link to a great piece about the use of DVD players in cars for the entertainment of children. This mirrors my own views. An excerpt:

"No one said that parenting was supposed to be easy, but parents are taking the easy way out when they plug their kids into a DVD. Instead, parents should be willing to do the extra work, choose the route and travel times carefully, and do the extra planning that’s required for a long road trip."

When your kid asks you what being dead is, what are you going to say?

Last night Brent and I were hanging out with his sister at their parents' house while they were out for dinner.  Her kids were "sleeping" in the master bedroom (I don't know why) and Heather would got tell them to stop goofing around during commercial breaks in Grey's anatomy (first time I've seen it).  

One time she went up and we heard a bit of a commotion and she came down silently laughing her ass off.

What happened?

She went up and saw her daughter was chewing on something.

H - What are you eating?
M - Marshmellows
H- WHERE did you get that?
M- Points to dresser
H- Spit them out!...Looks in her hand to find her fathers ear plugs....USED ear plugs...

I know that any kids we have won't be in want of anything.  They will have many hand-me downs from their cousins who are already swimming in excesses of 'stuff'.  They will have at least one set of grandparents who will spoil them with gifts all year round.  I'm sure of this, which brings me to an idea I read about in another community.

No-gift birthday parties.  Sure gifts are great but a party with all your friends running around and being crazy kids is pretty great too.  And I'm sure that the parents will be relieved about not having to buy gifts for the classmates of their children.  Obviously, family would still give gifts (like I could stop them!)

There are many options that can go hand-in-hand with this:

• no gifts at all
• gifts will be donated to a local charity (children's hospital, foster center etc)
• specify a type of gift (ex: please bring things we can bring to the animal shelter)
• organise party activities that revolve around giving and being good citizens (ex. get older kids invovled in making food for a homeless shelter)

Do you folks have any ideas on ways to get a birthday away from being excessively materialistic and more about having fun, sharing positive experiences and growing good humans?

I will not shove/shake toys in my baby's face.  I will let them take in their surroundings without treating them like they have an attention span of an MTV viewer.

simply put:
Imagine a Bell Curve that reads

I will project the energy/mood/attitude I wish for my child(ren) to have.