In Loving Memory...

Mon, 06 Oct 2008 23:06:21 GMT

My Dad died two and a half weeks ago. I can’t believe this, and I refuse to accept it. He had a sudden and unexpected heart attack. I was away at school, all alone, when my sister told me the news. I had to fly home immediatley, still not believing it. I fee l so guilty for not appreciating him enough in life. I feel so bad for not calling him as much as he wanted me to. He was such a good person, I can’t ever get over this. I just miss him. He was only 51. I only had him for 19 years. This isn’t fair, why do other people my age get to keep their fathers but I have to lose mine so young?! He worked so hard in life, and I feel like he never really did anything fun. I hope he had a happy life. He tried so hard to make all of us happy. I’m so sorry, Dad. I love you…

For Father's Day

Mon, 16 Jun 2008 01:20:06 GMT

In this past year I've lost my father-in-law and my maternal grandfather. (My dad and his dad died years ago).

Just sending out encouragement to everybody who's mourning the loss of their father on this day.

White Rose on Father's Day

Sun, 15 Jun 2008 20:42:35 GMT

Happy Father's Day, Dad. Miss you all the time.

Hal Howard (1907-1966) and daughter, New Bremen OH, 1955

Mother's Day

Mon, 12 May 2008 00:32:30 GMT

I lost my Mom in April 2005, so this is my 3rd Mother's Day without her, and my second as a Mom.
I just saw The Simpson's Mother's Day episode, and it made my cry.
When did cartoons tun into tear-jerkers?

Lost my Dad, Already lost my Mom.

Sun, 13 Apr 2008 04:15:03 GMT

1. Name: Laura

2. Age: 38

3. Location: Georgia

4. Your loss(es): Mom and Dad, and Stepdad

5. Age when you lost your parent(s): Lost Stepdad at 33, Mom at 35, Dad at 38.

6. Age of Parent(s): Mom was 60, Dad was 75. Don;t know exactly how old my Stepdad was. 60s.

7. Cause of Death(s): Mom died from Early-onset Alzheimer's disease, was ill for 10 years, Dad died of Stage IV Small cell lung cancer after a 6 day hospital stay. Stepdad died of Colon cancer, had been sick for about a year.

8. What do you wish to accomplish with being a member of Parent_Loss? to feel better about having no parents yet at a moderately early age.

9. Memorable Traits about your Parent(s) you would like to share? Mom was my best friend, Dad mellowed we age and we got to be friends, and my Stepdad was an incredible man who took care of my Mom for years until he died.

10. Photo(s)

Here's my Dad and my son. Thank God they got to meet a few times. I don't have photos in this computer of my Mom and stepdad, but they didn't look the same while they were sick, so that's not how I remember them.

Not quite...

Sat, 26 Jan 2008 20:29:13 GMT

I don't really know if this story counts as parent loss. I don't know if I have a mom or if she's alive or dead. My mom was a real nutcase, from my distant memories of her when I was little. When my dad died, I was pretty much too young to remember, but I remember him always calling me "My Maggie." It's like hearing a ghost echo in the past.
Then I got sent to live with my aunt and uncle, and then with my cousin. It's weird having this feeling that there's a woman out there, who might know your name and who might remember who you are and who just might miss you too. And it's weird knowing that I have a father who watches over me all the time.
To most, I've only lost one, or maybe two, but to me, they are out there somewhere, dead or alive.
Miss you dad, I know you're in heaven.
Miss you mom, wherever you are.

Does anyone else have a story like this? Please, do share.

Sun, 13 Jan 2008 18:50:46 GMT

1. Name: Cassie

2. Age: 18

3. Location: Arkansas

4. Your loss(es): My dad

5. Age when you lost your parent(s): 17

6. Age of Parent(s): 45

7. Cause of Death(s): motorcycle accident (wasn't his fault)

8. What do you wish to accomplish with being a member of Parent_Loss? just the relief of being around those who know what I'm going through

9. Memorable Traits about your Parent(s) you would like to share? he was the person everyone should want to be. the best person I knew

10. Photo(s) of your parent(s): um..i don't think I have any on my computer...sorry

Sun, 06 Jan 2008 15:17:19 GMT

Yesterday was a year and a half since my parents were killed in a car accident.
Today is a year and a half since I found out they were dead. It was about this time in the morning when I got the call.
My stomach hurts and my heart aches a terrible pain.
I would never wish this ache, pain, or feelings on anyone...it's like torture.

Sun, 06 Jan 2008 01:30:05 GMT

Today would be my dad's 51st birthday. It's his birthday not being alive.

I hate having to go over to his urn in order to say Happy Birthday to him.

It sucks that my dad left my house a real person and came back a decoration.

=[

Strange...

Wed, 02 Jan 2008 00:09:57 GMT

The most bizarre thing just happened to me. I was sitting here, a little bored and I thought, "hey, i'll call mom and talk to her about all the crap going on". And for like a whole second, I forgot, and I had every intention of picking up the phone and calling her. The thing is, she died almost SIX YEARS ago. I thought that those moments had stopped long ago. It's funny how a fleeting thought can come out of nowhere and send you reeling...

Thu, 27 Dec 2007 01:11:50 GMT

cross posted to foryourloss,griefrecovery,
I just wanted to wish you guys a happy holiday season whatever you celebrate.
I also want to thank all of you for helping me to celebrate the holidays with a little less pain because even though tears are streaming dowm my face as I write this, I do not feel alone anymore in my grief, which makes it easier.I hope that even though this time is hard that you can find a little joy to hold on too .
take care
mirage

Tue, 13 Nov 2007 20:38:23 GMT

My mom died about seven years ago. I'm seventeen now, and I still haven't grieved.
I was spending the night at my dad's (they were seperated) and I found out on April Fool's day. I told myself it was a joke and I even went to the park to play with friends.
No adults tried talking to me or thought it was weird, they were happy I was taking it so well.
My mom had been an alcoholic, her boyfriend was too and they were fighting constantly.
A few months before her death, she came into my room at about three in the morning sobbing about something that was on her thigh.
It was a blood clot, and even after surgery, another one traveled to her heart.
When I say alcoholic, I mean that she was drunk for as long as I remember unless relatives were over visiting.
I was hoping to run away or just get away.
I think that's what made it so "easy" for me to just push her out of my head.

My dad is an alcoholic, and had a meth lab in our basement when I was a freshman. I can't talk to him about her,
it's uncomfortable with other family also because they didn't know how she really was raising me.

The end of my sophmore year, I became really depressed and had alot of anxiety, and now my therapist and I are about to go through my grieving process.
My problem...I can only remember the bad things, that's all they were. I pushed her so far out of my head,
typing this up now, I feel like I'm describing a movie I once saw. It's not personal at all.
I'm afraid I'll never get out of my depression because this is the root of it and I'm scared I've blocked it for too long.
I find I often crave for a safe adult to just hold me and tell me I'll be okay. Because of my dad's state,
I've virtually had no parents for the past four years or so.
I'm afraid of how that's made me. Sometimes I hate her, but mostly I don't even think of her.
I didn't know her, sometimes I wonder if she was like me. I hate myself so much because of what I've become.
All of my thoughts are so dark, and I often wish my dad would have died instead of her.
He's so horrible, and even though she was so drunk all of the time, I would still rather have her.

Has anyone ever successfully gone through grief many years later?
After repressing so much, I've also stopped letting myself feel anger unless it's at myself. I do stupid things to myself because I don't know how to carry it healthily out to other people.
Can people bring up feelings that have been buried somewhere and forgotten about?

I'd appreciate any comments whatsoever, it means a lot.

My dad died when I was 13-I wish I had had access to supportive services like this one

Wed, 24 Oct 2007 23:52:48 GMT

Sat, 13 Oct 2007 03:59:53 GMT

I'm sure many of you have had strange things happen to you that just convience you that your parent(s) are still around.

What's the most bazaar thing that has happened to you? I'm so interested in hearing these kinds of stories because so many things have happened with me.

Fri, 12 Oct 2007 00:00:29 GMT

1. Name: Hayleigh

2. Age: 17

3. Location: Westerly, Rhode Island

4. Your loss(es): My dad

5. Age when you lost your parent(s): 16

6. Age of Parent(s): 49

7. Cause of Death(s): Heart failure/Sepsis (an infection he caught while in the hospital).

8. What do you wish to accomplish with being a member of Parent_Loss? I wish to read about other peoples stories of losing a parent. Knowing that I'm not the only person this has happened to is comforting.

9. Memorable Traits about your Parent(s) you would like to share? My dad was the hardest working man I will ever know. Not a single person that knew him would be able to pin out any flaw about him. He was a wonderful provider to my mom and my little brother and sister. He had a passion for being with his family.

10. Photo(s) of your parent(s):
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Hello everyone. First of all, I want to say that it's really nice to find a community where people can go to who have lost a parent. It's amazing how strangers can all come together and help eachother out.
My dad died on October 3, 2006. He died at Yale-New Haven Hospital in New Haven, CT. The cause of death on his death certificate states that he died of Heart Failure and Sepsis. However, some things don't add up. One thing is that my dad had never had any type of heart problems up until the day he became sick. In fact, the day before you became sick he was out mowing the lawn and doing everything a victim of heart failure would not be able to do. Up until the day he died, his doctors told my family that he was going to be okay and was going to make it through everything.
He was the greatest man I ever knew. He and I were so close and had a special bond that all fathers and daughters should have. He was a Claims Adjuster for a law firm in New London, CT.
Last week marked one year that he died. It's indescribable to explain how fast time has gone by. I think about him every minute of every day. It's weird how one person can stay on your mind for a whole year. I'm sure you all can understand this though seeing as we're in the same boat ;].

I have a question to those who have lost a parent and have been living for a few years with the loss. Does it get any easier? Does the gut renching pain every go away?

new member

Sat, 06 Oct 2007 22:42:54 GMT

Hello, my name is Mandy. I'm 19 and belong to Ste. Marie's parish in Manchester, NH, which i adore grately. I have met so many wonderful friends, and am very thankful for them. I have the 4-5PM hour in our parish's perpetual adoration chapel, on Thursdays, as well as the 3-4PM hour on Sundays, and iam hour captian for 3-4PM and 8-9PM.
I also serve as a lector, eucharistic Minister, religious education teacher, and director of Speakers for the Charismatic Prayer group. I also am currently planning a Breast Cancer Awareness event to take place this coming summer.
I recently lost both grandmothers, one on Valentine's day, and one just last Thursday, and my father passed away in 2005. I plan on attending Mount Ida college for a double major in Funeral Home Service and Beareavement Studies, with hopes of starting a ministry at my church for grieving teens children and young adults.
Just thought i'd introduce myself, feel free to write back or add me as a friend.

Out of The Darkness Suicide Prevention Walk 2007

Sat, 08 Sep 2007 18:39:27 GMT

Hi!
Hello to friends, old and new. I am once again walking in the Chicago Community walk of the Out of Darkness Suicide prevention walk. I am walking in honor of my mom, of course, and of all people who I have known to lose their life to mental illness. My goal for this walk is big, 1500 dollars, but I know that with support and optimism, I will meet my goal, just as I did last year. This walk is very important to me, both as someone who lost someone to suicide and as someone who struggles with mental illness personally. I appreciate any help and support that you are able to offer. Please know that it means a lot to me, and although I can not thank everyone personally, I hold a special place for all of those who support me in my heart. I will think of you as I walk with my head held high, my mom on my mind, and my head turned towards the future and how much good I can do by raising awareness of this critical issue.
Thank you so much!
Nikki Albrecht

Greetings friend,

I thought you might be interested in supporting Nicole Albrecht in the Community Walk taking place in Chicago, IL on September, 29 2007.

This link will lead you to an area where you may support them

Just want to introduce myself

Thu, 02 Aug 2007 14:51:03 GMT

Hi,
I'm new to this community, so thought I should come on and say hello.
My name is Erin Vincent. Both of my parents died after being hit by a speeding tow truck when I was 14. My mother died instantly, my dad died one month later in hospital.
At the time, I felt so alone in my grief. I searched for books that would relate to me, but none of the grief books spoke of what I was going through... the terror, the waking nightmare.
So... eight years ago I decided to write the book (GRIEF GIRL / Random House, 2007) I wished I'd had when I was grieving. I figured there must be so many people out there feeling as alone as I once did.

Anyway, it's nice to cyber-meet you all.
Cheers,
Erin xxx

Sun, 29 Jul 2007 17:59:38 GMT

1. Name: Chelsea
2. Age: 21
3. Location: San francisco, ca
4. Your loss(es): Mom and Dad
5. Age when you lost your parent(s): 16, 20
6. Age of Parent(s): 51, 53
7. Cause of Death(s): infections, but ultimately Hep C
8. What do you wish to accomplish with being a member of Parent_Loss? To find a place to talk about memories so that they wont fade away, but also to be able to find people that can relate and truely understand what its like.
9. Memorable Traits about your Parent(s) you would like to share? On one hand its crazy that its been 5 years since my mom died, but on the other i suppose i have been suppressing sad memories to the point that they are almost fading away and even tho i was already 16 when my mom passed sometimes it is hard for me to remember details about her. She was an unselfish person, always catered to her children as the most important thing in her life. She was honest and blunt with us, treating us like adults from a very young age, but also sweet and nurturing. There's a lot more to say than that, but i wouldnt know where to cut it off.
As for my dad, its harder for me to think about him without deep sadness still, but he was also a very giving and caring father. He always made us feel protected and like no problem was too big to fix. He had a great sense of humor and tend to put everyone else above himself. I still remember when we were little, we would always be so sad to see him go off to work, and then he would return with a stuffed animal or some gift just because.

10. Photo(s) of your parent(s):

So my story goes..

Sun, 29 Jul 2007 04:15:08 GMT

1. Name: Sonya
2. Age: 21
3. Location: Japan
4. Your loss(es): Dad
5. Age when you lost your parent(s): 18
6. Age of Parent(s): 63 - born 1941
7. Cause of Death(s): congestive heart failure/suicide
8. What do you wish to accomplish with being a member of Parent_Loss? When my father died, I joined a bereavement group at my school, it was really great having people to talk to that had been through such losses. I would like to be a part of this community to share advise, and receive.
9. Memorable Traits about your Parent(s) you would like to share? My father was an artist for a living. On top of that, he raised me all by himself. My mother left the seen when I was about 2 years old, I still saw her after that, but she's never felt like much of a parent; she never paid child support, and never really did anything supportive in my life. Therefore I often consider that my father was my only parent. We never really had too much money, but my upbringing is one that brings me many fond memories.. my father was really something amazing for me, and the community around him.

10. Photo(s) of your parent(s):

I was hoping to talk about issues with materialistic reminders after death. For now I'll just introduce myself.. it's nice to meet you all, I've read many introductions now..

Introduction

Sun, 17 Jun 2007 22:51:00 GMT

1. Name: Adriann

2. Age: 30

3. Location: Canada

4. Your loss(es): Mom and Dad

5. Age when you lost your parent(s): Lost Dad at 27 (November 17, 2003), lost Mom at 29 (August 22, 2005)

6. Age of Parent(s): Dad 77 (born in 1925), Mom 70 (born in 1935)

7. Cause of Death(s): Dad: Cancer (multiple locations), Mom: Lung cancer (smoking really does kill)

8. What do you wish to accomplish with being a member of Parent_Loss? Share grief and offer compassion to other group members.

9. Memorable Traits about your Parent(s) you would like to share?

Dad was a member of the Canadian Navy and a veteran of World War 2. He joined up when he was only 17, and the ship he was on got torpedoed in the Irish Sea. He was my hero.

Mom was a really caring and generous person who put her children first. She was a stay at home mom, but she also did lots of volunteering with the church, with Girl Guides of Canada, and in schools, where she served as a lunch monitor for mentally challenged children. She was a wonderful storyteller, and always encouraged me to be imaginative and creative.

10. Photo(s) of your parent(s):

This is me, Mom and Dad on my wedding day. At least I got to share that much with them. I don't have any children yet, and it breaks my heart to think that when I do finally have them, they will grow up with only one set of grandparents.

Introduction

Sun, 17 Jun 2007 15:35:03 GMT

1. Name: Hallie
2. Age: 29
3. Location: Colorado
4. Your loss(es): Mom and Dad
5. Age when you lost your parent(s): Mom when I was 5 and Dad when I was 24
6. Age of Parent(s): Mom 40 and Dad 61
7. Cause of Death(s): Mom-complications from breast cancer Dad-lung cancer (and he was an esophogial cancer survivor)
8. What do you wish to accomplish with being a member of Parent_Loss? A place to talk to people who understand. My brother doesn't like to talk about anything and my friends all talk about their parents, when I respond with my memories they act like talking to me is dooming their parents or something, or that my memories aren't okay when they're talking about the present. I just want to talk sometimes I guess.
9. Memorable Traits about your Parent(s) you would like to share? My mom was diagnosed when I was 1. I only have one non-sick moment of her, she taught me how to use her monogrammed letter sealer and I wrote my dad a letter and then we sealed it together. My Dad...Dad was my world and raised me and my brother on his own. He never remarried, he never even went on a date after Mom died. He wanted to make sure we always came first. Dad was the best cook (gourmet and home style), he wrote beautiful poems, he was a great teacher, he passed on his love of reading, and he always made sure I knew the scientific names of every plant in eye sight! I was always Daddy's little girl, even as an adult, and it makes every moment even four years later hard because I always wish he was there to share my day with, he always loved to hear about the most mundane days.
10. Photo(s) of your parent(s): None on the computer.

Sun, 17 Jun 2007 15:19:05 GMT

Hi all. First of all I'd like to wish a Happy Father's Day to all the Dad's who have passed.
Today my mom and I went to the cemetery to visit. I'm happy it was just me and her that went this morning instead of my sister and her two kids. It's more personal with me and my mother. Well, we weren't able to get a big bouquet of flowers but that's okay, I picked a few small branches of bougainvilla and placed on it. At first I just stood there around it, moving debris (it's next to a school, which I don't like) and arranging the previous arrangements from the service in May. I hate to say funeral because I guess maybe it's like I'm admitting he's gone and I don't want to admit it. Some days I feel like he's gonna be home in a little while but he never comes and then I get a sad feeling wash over me; this comes and goes. Anyway, today was the first time I cried a decent cry for a few weeks. Just thinking about him and Father's Day and wondering what he'd be doing if he were here...but I know if he was he would be outside tending to the plants.(He had a green thumb) My mother teared up as well. It's still so hard on her. It's been over a month. They were together 43 years. I realized today just how much I miss him. I love you Daddy and I hope wherever you are, you are enjoying today and every other day after it.

I hope everyone else who lost their Dad's is coping today and finding a comfort somewhere.

Father's Day

Sun, 17 Jun 2007 15:01:42 GMT

So, how is everyone doing with today?

Mon, 11 Jun 2007 20:14:19 GMT

My wedding 11 days away and it's getting harder to deal with everything without my mom here. She died 6 years ago, six months before I met my future husband.

My aunts asked me who was going to help me get dressed on the wedding day and I started crying.

Things are starting to go wrong (as with nearly every wedding) and I have to stop myself from thinking "If she was here she'd fix it." and start thinking "What would she do if she was here."

I'll get through it, I know I will.

But that doesn't change the fact that it'll hurt like hell to not have her here.