vanimy (![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} vanimy) wrote in ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/community.gif){kind=small} padmeanakin,@ 2008-05-31 17:44:00 |
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Shattered Glass - ROTS AU - A/P
Hello!
Here's the latest installment of Shattered Glass... aka, the neverending story. :P Thank you very much for still following this! :)
Link to last parts here.
Chapter 27
The chrono was ticking loudly.
The long table seemed to stretch forever. Various meals filled the old fashioned wooden material. Forks clinkered. Faces stared down at the plates, mouths chewing in absolute silence.
Padmé cast a glance on her right at two very agitated children, whose only desire was to go to sleep.
Or just draw her attention.
Sniffles and slight whimpering were signalling an imminent deluge of cries.
At the very end of the table, Anakin looked fascinated by his plate and barely acknowledged the young girl doing the service.
Padmé looked at her family, dispassionately eating their meals. Ryoo and Pooja were doing their best not to fall asleep on the table.
This was a disaster.
And all Anakin’s fault… she reflected.
He wasn’t good at small talking naturally but his attitude was sucking out the very life of this room. He wasn’t behaving like a husband with his family in law.
He was behaving like an Emperor, not even trying to entertain various ambassadors.
And that displeased her greatly.
All her little efforts at some talking were invariably ending up failing. For her family obviously hated the man at the other end of the table.
Every topic of conversation was always changing into politics talk.
And it always ended up badly.
Padmé had to admit her sister seemed to look for trouble… An innocent conversation about the twins had ended up in a discussion about Jedi.
Anakin had visibly restrained himself as Sola had heavily hinted at the Temple massacre.
The rest of the evening had been deathly quiet after that.
Padmé was torn between resenting her family for not making any efforts and visibly rejecting Anakin before he even opened his mouth and…
…secretly admiring her sister for standing up to her principles.
Unlike her…
The twins were starting to become really tired on top of that…
Padmé felt tears come up unexpectedly.
This was really everything she had feared happening.
What had she been really expecting?
You didn't marry a dictator without facing the consequences of your actions.
Luke chose this moment to explode. A piercing cry seemed to slice into her ears and she struggled to remain composed. Seemingly understanding her feelings, Anakin calmly got up from his chair and joined his son. With the greatest care, he took the crying infant in his arms and as Leia's upper lip started to tremble, wisely led the other hover chair out of the dinner room wordlessly. Inwardly, Padmé decided she couldn't stay angry with him too long. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Sola trying to hide her surprise at Anakin's tender side.
Breathing out to steady her wayward emotions, Padmé heard herself address her family.
It had to end once and for all.
"I think it is time to start being honest with each other."
"So… Are you happy to finally be out of here?"
A sigh into the peaceful night.
"I am anyway."
Strong hands held tiny ones gently as the adult slowly led the little boy into one of the Naboo deserted garden paths. Luke gripped his father's hands with delight as he took still hesitant steps. Beside them, Leia was walking slowly but less unbalanced than her brother.
"Careful, Leia…" he admonished as the girl was trying to venture on the grass. Gently, he let go of one of Luke's hands to draw his daughter closer.
Luke was starting to tire though and Anakin stopped the small walking to take the boy into his arms. His son wanted to be back on the ground again but he placed him in the vacant hover chair, ignoring his small protests.
He knew Padmé would have disapproved of the small exercise this late anyway…
Calling his daughter's name tenderly, he picked the small body up and held her close as they went back to the other way.
Back to the palace and… hatred.
It was all over the place during dinner and he had felt somewhat amused at the intense feeling of loathing in these simple people's eyes.
Anakin sighed.
If not for Padmé he would have never tolerated Sola's outburst.
For a while he had pictured crushing her neck for those indignant comments.
But he had held himself in check and for that he felt… satisfied.
"I'm doing this for your mother…" he whispered to Leia's adorable face close to his.
Leia smiled in her innocent way, seemingly content to be in her father's arms. Luke was pouting in his hover chair, obviously discontent his father had turned his attention to his sister.
"Dada! goo!"
Anakin stopped in his tracks.
Leia's small hands were stretched towards him, trying to grip his tunic.
“Dada…”
"Do you know what you just said, Leia?"
The girl only giggled, cuddling closer to him.
In his hover chair, Luke was starting to cry.
Stroking his son's hair with his gloved hand soothingly, Anakin kissed his daughter's top of head.
“Da-da!” the girl repeated decidedly, seemingly satisfied the word meant something to her father.
Anakin didn't know if he had heard something more beautiful before.
“Leia, please… I need you to sleep!”
Exasperated, Anakin raked a hand through his short hair. The girl was alternating between babbling her newfound words that were getting closer and closer to meaningful things and crying which was driving him crazy. He had not even bothered to make a detour to the dining room where Padmé was discussing things with her family-
-and somehow, there was still the irrational fear Padmé was making up an escape plan with her family, like what she did, a long time ago…-
-and had settled in the children’s room, having already succeeded at making Luke lie down and calm but failing at making his daughter do the same.
She was really exasperating.
And Padmé was discussing things with her family.
And he really didn’t like it, in spite of himself.
“Leia.”
The cold tone of his voice managed to get him a result. The girl’s eyes opened wide in fear.
But she was calm at least.
And she didn’t fight when he put her into her small bed for the night.
His comm. chose this moment to beep loudly into the sudden silence. Anakin closed the door behind him and found himself smirking.
The holo console of his bedroom was activated in a minute.
An aide bowed, the blue transmission flickering slightly.
“Your Highness.”
“I suppose there must be important news if you dare bother me now.”
The aide trembled. Anakin resisted the urge to scoff.
Some things never changed.
“We have determined the origin of the connection between Bail Organa and Kenobi, Your Highness.”
Anakin waved his hand impatiently, tensing.
“And?”
“The planet Kenobi was supposedly on isn’t registered on any chart, Your Highness. It is located in the Sluis sector, situated between Queyta and Utapau. We have led researches but it appears the planet in question is not inhabited.”
The tension on the Emperor’s face vanished.
A dark smile had made its way on his face.
“You have worked well. I will leave shortly.”
He was about to cut off the connection when a sudden thought struck him.
“Send a fleet to Alderaan. I want Organa arrested and ready to answer any question I will deem appropriate if the need comes.”
With that, he switched off the console, his smile stretching into a carnal grin.
"I don't know how you do this."
Silence.
"I'm sorry, Padmé. But I really, deeply hate him."
The young woman sighed and paced the elegant reception room's carpet again. Her family was sitting on the sofa, Pooja sleeping on her mother's lap. However Ryoo was listening attentively, her sad eyes going from one adult to another.
Padmé was all too aware of her niece's slow apprehension of the situation.
And she couldn't fight the shame slowly surrounding her.
"You haven't really tried to hear me out!" she pleaded to her sister.
Sola crossed her arms, glaring at her.
"Alright, I'm listening."
"Anakin is a good man."
A snort.
“You’ve already tried to explain this but I’m sorry, I don’t buy it.”
"If you only knew how and why he changed, you would understand my position."
For the first time since the beginning of this agitated conversation, her mother spoke up.
"If he is forcing you to do this, Padmé, you have to tell us. We will help, we will do everything we can to help you get out of there."
Alas, there had been a time when she would've jumped on the occasion, Padmé reflected sadly.
"It isn't like that!" she protested, trying to suppress the sudden ghostly feeling of gloved fingers pressing around her throat. And those evil eyes settling onto her in the darkness...
"Then really explain yourself!" Sola blurted out. "Explain to me how my beloved sister, someone I was looking up to, became an Empress, supporting a dictatorship that killed millions already!"
Padmé's head was suddenly aching. She cast a meaningful look to her nieces.
"I don't think the girls should stay while-"
"Yes, they should," Darred interrupted. "I want my daughters to be aware of everything that's going on in this galaxy now. Including what is concerning their aunt."
Padmé sighed.
Slumping down on one of the couches near the fireplace in a very uncharacteristic move for an Empress, she braced herself.
"Anakin changed," she began quietly.
"I already told you he had always been a monster, only you were too blind to see…" her sister sighed.
Padmé threw a worried glance to the entrance. It didn't escape her mother's watchful eye.
"You are afraid of him, my dear."
A statement, not even a question.
"No, I'm not…" she whispered. "At least not any longer."
Honesty was probably the best course now…
"Anakin changed," she repeated. "He-" How to explain this? "He turned to the dark side. He did it to save me… And I think he did save me in the end. But the dark side changes you, turns you into a monster."
"He did kill all the Jedi, didn't he?" Sola asked quietly.
Another sigh.
"Yes."
Almost.
Her mind flashed to Obi-Wan unexpectedly and she pushed him away forcefully.
"At some point, I wanted to leave. When power became more important than everything else, which is what the dark side does to someone, when he really became this monster” –evil eyes, yellow covering her vision, rough hands closing around her arms and hurting, hurting, leaving marks on her skin- “I wanted to leave. He didn't let me."
"Oh, Padmé…" her mother let out, one single tear tracing down her cheek. Convulsively, her hand reached out to grip her daughter's.
Padmé held onto it like a lifeline.
"But he can be saved. You saw for yourself how he is with the twins. He would never ever harm them, I am sure of it." Looking up, she noticed her sister's gaze had softened somewhat.
"Did he harm you?"
Padmé swallowed and looked away.
There was no point in answering. The answer was all in the deathly silence of the room. Her mother's fingers caressed the skin of her hand tenderly.
"He never will again and it is all that matters now."
Sola looked up, her features clearly contracted with pain.
"You sound an awful lot like an abused wife."
Padmé shook her head softly.
But all of a sudden, long buried feelings were slowly surfacing.
Somehow, it still hurt. What he had done to her still hurt.
"It's not like that… He can control the dark side now… He's more immune to it somehow."
"But he did harm you," Darred said gravely.
"If your father was here…" Jobal mused.
"I think Anakin would be dead by now," Padmé tried to smile.
As if on cue, the double doors opened abruptly, startling them all.
Anakin was standing in the entryway, his dark cloak floating menacingly around him, his face tensed and his eyes carefully assessing the situation. Padmé could feel the tiny shreds of doubt making their way into his mind and only tensed further.
Something was wrong.
“Ana-”
“I need to speak to you right now,” he only uttered through clenched teeth.
Out of the corner of her eye, Padmé could feel Darred tense and ready to protect her if the need arose. The young woman felt touched but knew it would be completely pointless if Anakin really wanted to do something violent.
Which he wouldn’t.
Padmé calmly stood up, addressing them a reassuring smile and joined her husband in the corridor, closing the double doors behind her.
In the very dim light, he didn’t look as threatening.
“I’m leaving,” her husband announced without preamble.
She felt something curl around her heart and squeeze.
“Obi-Wan?” she whispered.
He nodded.
Padmé’s breath caught in her chest. She had prepared for this but she had never expected it to happen now… That connection had been captured so long ago she had almost forgotten its existence.
She had been willing to forget it just like she had been willing to forget a lot of things lately.
Anakin abruptly seized her hands and tightened his fingers around hers.
Even in the dim light she could see how pale he was. There was something deeply troubling him.
“I want you to be careful…” he whispered. “Do not get out of these walls, please. I’m so…” A deep breath. “I’m so scared-”
His voice broke.
“Then don’t leave…” Padmé said, one of her hands escaping his tight grip to caress his cheek.
He shuddered under her caress and closed his eyes convulsively.
“This is my only chance to catch him and keep you safe once and for all…”
His trembling flesh hand took her small one on his cheek and he kissed her palm very slowly as he opened shadowed eyes.
“Promise me you’ll stay here, Padmé. You and the children.”
Something inside her rebelled against the idea.
She wasn’t a fragile doll and his nightmares no longer came true now…
But one look at his drained face changed her mind.
“I promise, Ani.”
With a groan, he pulled her flush against him, murmured words against her neck, kissed her jaw, cheek, nose, lips and put his hands around her face to deepen the kiss…
Padmé felt light-headed and only struggled to get closer to him.
“You be careful…” she whispered when she caught her breath again and his lips had treaded on her forehead.
Anakin’s smile was ghostly.
“You don’t need to be worried about me.”
His lips came back to her neck then mouth and she savored the feel of his lips against hers, sighing, her hands tightening their grip on his tunic.
But her hands suddenly met air and before she knew it – she could still taste him on her lips- he had turned and left for the back entrance of the Palace.
The dark cloak was trailing behind him menacingly until he disappeared in the distance.
Padmé’s legs felt weak and she had to lean against the wall for support.
Everything was deathly silent when Padmé shut the doors behind her, coming back into the living room.
She figured she might look slightly flushed but couldn’t care less.
Anakin’s departure was already hard to stand.
“Are you alright?” Sola asked, making her sit down immediately.
Padmé nodded weakly.
“Anakin’s left.”
“What do you mean by ‘left’?” her sister didn’t fail to ask.
There was surprise and contentment on her guests’ faces.
“A mission,” Padmé grumbled.
Darred looked at his wife meaningfully.
"This could be the chance. We can help you-"
"But you don't understand, do you?" Padmé's eyes bore into her sister's. "I'm the one grounding him to the light."
–Really? Is it still true now?-
She ignored her inner voice impatiently. "Without me, he would tear the whole galaxy apart…" Her sister only crossed her arms tightly. "And believe it or not… I love him," she added quietly.
“But this is the perfect time!” Sola countered. “Grab your children and leave now!”
Padmé only shook her head, too tired to go on with this.
After a while, her older sister sighed. "That you are too afraid to leave him for some reason or another…" A pause. "That is your choice even though I'm afraid of what will happen to your children." Silence. Padmé closed her eyes tightly. She didn't want to think about this… Not now.
"But what about your role as the brand new Empress?" Sola's brown eyes were shining with accusation again.
"That is just a ruse.” Padmé admitted quietly. “My plan is to progressively bring the galaxy back to democracy. I am more useful here in the realms of power than out there, helping the few people resisting."
Silence.
Padmé realized it was the first time she had ever explained her plot to someone. It felt liberating.
Anakin wasn’t there anymore. He was becoming more and more distant as the minutes ticked by.
"That is…what you are doing now, what you've been doing all along? You are plotting behind his back?"
The sudden vulnerability in her sister's voice would have been touching - she wanted to believe in her so much…if Padmé hadn't been suddenly back to business, the light shining in her eyes.
"I have all the power up there. Anakin trusts me blindly. I am the one taking the decisions! And soon… very soon, I will free the galaxy." In other times, Padmé would have noticed the almost megalomania of her sentences but she was too far gone in the hope of a better future to notice. "But please…" she looked at her mother and niece meaningfully. "Please, keep this to yourself. This needs to stay secret. I can't afford to lose Anakin's trust. And I don't want to," she added almost as an afterthought.
Sola's head fell into her hands.
"I knew you weren't bad, Auntie!" Ryoo exclaimed for the first time, brown eyes akin to hers shining with admiration. "I always believed in you!"
"Thanks, sweetie…" the young woman smiled, holding out a hand towards the little girl who came into her arms easily and holding her close.
"It sounds impossible, Padmé…" Sola's voice came out of her joined hands. She looked up, suddenly looking very tired. "I believe in you," she said softly, "or at least I want to believe in you, but you can't do all this alone…"
"It does sound impossible," Darred agreed. "We all know your talents in the political area but alone, without awakening anyone's suspicion, bringing a whole galaxy back to democracy?" He shook his head. "I am not even sure the people in this galaxy want democracy. When you listen to some people sometimes, you are disgusted with them," he said bitterly.
Jobal sighed. "I agree with Darred. You cannot save people against their own will."
"Some of them are resisting," Padmé replied quietly. "And soon enough they will all see the light. In time, they will. Remember what I always said about democracy?"
Her mother smiled good-naturedly.
"Democracy isn't about what the people want but about what they need, right? Your dad used to say this to you despite the Youth legislature program sayings…"
Padmé smiled back at her and felt suddenly at ease for the first time in forever. At least her family supported her. And she didn't feel alone in this knowledge anymore.
"But this is dangerous-" Jobal added earnestly.
"Dad would be proud of you." Sola interrupted, smiling at her despite her tear-filled eyes.
Padmé caught the glint of mischief in her eyes and smiled in return.
It was time to part much too soon.
Padmé fought against the lump in her throat as she watched her dear family walk away from the Palace. Night engulfed hands waving at her from afar.
Security was accompanying them back home.
Where she was forbidden to go.
Padmé’s mind flashed to her father, there at home, probably looking at the same stars she was now. With that probable sense of loss in his chest as well.
He was so stubborn.
But again, so was she.
And things looked better now.
Now her family knew. They could tell Ruwee, explain, make him understand… Her breath materialized in the fresh air of night.
Padmé’s face was exuding peace for once.
Then she remembered Anakin leaving and his comfort gone –in his eyes, she was still Padmé and he wasn’t afraid of that darkness lurking inside her and scaring her and she already missed his presence and his touch and-
Closing her eyes and feeling a slight breeze on her face, she prayed the Force to bring Anakin back to her unharmed.
She hoped he would succeed and she hoped he would fail. She wanted Anakin to find Obi-Wan and kill him.
Kill…
And she hoped he did not.
She couldn’t have Obi-Wan’s blood on her conscience.
She needed Anakin’s soul to come back as intact as possible.
Hello!
Here's the latest installment of Shattered Glass... aka, the neverending story. :P Thank you very much for still following this! :)
Link to last parts here.
Chapter 27
The chrono was ticking loudly.
The long table seemed to stretch forever. Various meals filled the old fashioned wooden material. Forks clinkered. Faces stared down at the plates, mouths chewing in absolute silence.
Padmé cast a glance on her right at two very agitated children, whose only desire was to go to sleep.
Or just draw her attention.
Sniffles and slight whimpering were signalling an imminent deluge of cries.
At the very end of the table, Anakin looked fascinated by his plate and barely acknowledged the young girl doing the service.
Padmé looked at her family, dispassionately eating their meals. Ryoo and Pooja were doing their best not to fall asleep on the table.
This was a disaster.
And all Anakin’s fault… she reflected.
He wasn’t good at small talking naturally but his attitude was sucking out the very life of this room. He wasn’t behaving like a husband with his family in law.
He was behaving like an Emperor, not even trying to entertain various ambassadors.
And that displeased her greatly.
All her little efforts at some talking were invariably ending up failing. For her family obviously hated the man at the other end of the table.
Every topic of conversation was always changing into politics talk.
And it always ended up badly.
Padmé had to admit her sister seemed to look for trouble… An innocent conversation about the twins had ended up in a discussion about Jedi.
Anakin had visibly restrained himself as Sola had heavily hinted at the Temple massacre.
The rest of the evening had been deathly quiet after that.
Padmé was torn between resenting her family for not making any efforts and visibly rejecting Anakin before he even opened his mouth and…
…secretly admiring her sister for standing up to her principles.
Unlike her…
The twins were starting to become really tired on top of that…
Padmé felt tears come up unexpectedly.
This was really everything she had feared happening.
What had she been really expecting?
You didn't marry a dictator without facing the consequences of your actions.
Luke chose this moment to explode. A piercing cry seemed to slice into her ears and she struggled to remain composed. Seemingly understanding her feelings, Anakin calmly got up from his chair and joined his son. With the greatest care, he took the crying infant in his arms and as Leia's upper lip started to tremble, wisely led the other hover chair out of the dinner room wordlessly. Inwardly, Padmé decided she couldn't stay angry with him too long. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Sola trying to hide her surprise at Anakin's tender side.
Breathing out to steady her wayward emotions, Padmé heard herself address her family.
It had to end once and for all.
"I think it is time to start being honest with each other."
"So… Are you happy to finally be out of here?"
A sigh into the peaceful night.
"I am anyway."
Strong hands held tiny ones gently as the adult slowly led the little boy into one of the Naboo deserted garden paths. Luke gripped his father's hands with delight as he took still hesitant steps. Beside them, Leia was walking slowly but less unbalanced than her brother.
"Careful, Leia…" he admonished as the girl was trying to venture on the grass. Gently, he let go of one of Luke's hands to draw his daughter closer.
Luke was starting to tire though and Anakin stopped the small walking to take the boy into his arms. His son wanted to be back on the ground again but he placed him in the vacant hover chair, ignoring his small protests.
He knew Padmé would have disapproved of the small exercise this late anyway…
Calling his daughter's name tenderly, he picked the small body up and held her close as they went back to the other way.
Back to the palace and… hatred.
It was all over the place during dinner and he had felt somewhat amused at the intense feeling of loathing in these simple people's eyes.
Anakin sighed.
If not for Padmé he would have never tolerated Sola's outburst.
For a while he had pictured crushing her neck for those indignant comments.
But he had held himself in check and for that he felt… satisfied.
"I'm doing this for your mother…" he whispered to Leia's adorable face close to his.
Leia smiled in her innocent way, seemingly content to be in her father's arms. Luke was pouting in his hover chair, obviously discontent his father had turned his attention to his sister.
"Dada! goo!"
Anakin stopped in his tracks.
Leia's small hands were stretched towards him, trying to grip his tunic.
“Dada…”
"Do you know what you just said, Leia?"
The girl only giggled, cuddling closer to him.
In his hover chair, Luke was starting to cry.
Stroking his son's hair with his gloved hand soothingly, Anakin kissed his daughter's top of head.
“Da-da!” the girl repeated decidedly, seemingly satisfied the word meant something to her father.
Anakin didn't know if he had heard something more beautiful before.
“Leia, please… I need you to sleep!”
Exasperated, Anakin raked a hand through his short hair. The girl was alternating between babbling her newfound words that were getting closer and closer to meaningful things and crying which was driving him crazy. He had not even bothered to make a detour to the dining room where Padmé was discussing things with her family-
-and somehow, there was still the irrational fear Padmé was making up an escape plan with her family, like what she did, a long time ago…-
-and had settled in the children’s room, having already succeeded at making Luke lie down and calm but failing at making his daughter do the same.
She was really exasperating.
And Padmé was discussing things with her family.
And he really didn’t like it, in spite of himself.
“Leia.”
The cold tone of his voice managed to get him a result. The girl’s eyes opened wide in fear.
But she was calm at least.
And she didn’t fight when he put her into her small bed for the night.
His comm. chose this moment to beep loudly into the sudden silence. Anakin closed the door behind him and found himself smirking.
The holo console of his bedroom was activated in a minute.
An aide bowed, the blue transmission flickering slightly.
“Your Highness.”
“I suppose there must be important news if you dare bother me now.”
The aide trembled. Anakin resisted the urge to scoff.
Some things never changed.
“We have determined the origin of the connection between Bail Organa and Kenobi, Your Highness.”
Anakin waved his hand impatiently, tensing.
“And?”
“The planet Kenobi was supposedly on isn’t registered on any chart, Your Highness. It is located in the Sluis sector, situated between Queyta and Utapau. We have led researches but it appears the planet in question is not inhabited.”
The tension on the Emperor’s face vanished.
A dark smile had made its way on his face.
“You have worked well. I will leave shortly.”
He was about to cut off the connection when a sudden thought struck him.
“Send a fleet to Alderaan. I want Organa arrested and ready to answer any question I will deem appropriate if the need comes.”
With that, he switched off the console, his smile stretching into a carnal grin.
"I don't know how you do this."
Silence.
"I'm sorry, Padmé. But I really, deeply hate him."
The young woman sighed and paced the elegant reception room's carpet again. Her family was sitting on the sofa, Pooja sleeping on her mother's lap. However Ryoo was listening attentively, her sad eyes going from one adult to another.
Padmé was all too aware of her niece's slow apprehension of the situation.
And she couldn't fight the shame slowly surrounding her.
"You haven't really tried to hear me out!" she pleaded to her sister.
Sola crossed her arms, glaring at her.
"Alright, I'm listening."
"Anakin is a good man."
A snort.
“You’ve already tried to explain this but I’m sorry, I don’t buy it.”
"If you only knew how and why he changed, you would understand my position."
For the first time since the beginning of this agitated conversation, her mother spoke up.
"If he is forcing you to do this, Padmé, you have to tell us. We will help, we will do everything we can to help you get out of there."
Alas, there had been a time when she would've jumped on the occasion, Padmé reflected sadly.
"It isn't like that!" she protested, trying to suppress the sudden ghostly feeling of gloved fingers pressing around her throat. And those evil eyes settling onto her in the darkness...
"Then really explain yourself!" Sola blurted out. "Explain to me how my beloved sister, someone I was looking up to, became an Empress, supporting a dictatorship that killed millions already!"
Padmé's head was suddenly aching. She cast a meaningful look to her nieces.
"I don't think the girls should stay while-"
"Yes, they should," Darred interrupted. "I want my daughters to be aware of everything that's going on in this galaxy now. Including what is concerning their aunt."
Padmé sighed.
Slumping down on one of the couches near the fireplace in a very uncharacteristic move for an Empress, she braced herself.
"Anakin changed," she began quietly.
"I already told you he had always been a monster, only you were too blind to see…" her sister sighed.
Padmé threw a worried glance to the entrance. It didn't escape her mother's watchful eye.
"You are afraid of him, my dear."
A statement, not even a question.
"No, I'm not…" she whispered. "At least not any longer."
Honesty was probably the best course now…
"Anakin changed," she repeated. "He-" How to explain this? "He turned to the dark side. He did it to save me… And I think he did save me in the end. But the dark side changes you, turns you into a monster."
"He did kill all the Jedi, didn't he?" Sola asked quietly.
Another sigh.
"Yes."
Almost.
Her mind flashed to Obi-Wan unexpectedly and she pushed him away forcefully.
"At some point, I wanted to leave. When power became more important than everything else, which is what the dark side does to someone, when he really became this monster” –evil eyes, yellow covering her vision, rough hands closing around her arms and hurting, hurting, leaving marks on her skin- “I wanted to leave. He didn't let me."
"Oh, Padmé…" her mother let out, one single tear tracing down her cheek. Convulsively, her hand reached out to grip her daughter's.
Padmé held onto it like a lifeline.
"But he can be saved. You saw for yourself how he is with the twins. He would never ever harm them, I am sure of it." Looking up, she noticed her sister's gaze had softened somewhat.
"Did he harm you?"
Padmé swallowed and looked away.
There was no point in answering. The answer was all in the deathly silence of the room. Her mother's fingers caressed the skin of her hand tenderly.
"He never will again and it is all that matters now."
Sola looked up, her features clearly contracted with pain.
"You sound an awful lot like an abused wife."
Padmé shook her head softly.
But all of a sudden, long buried feelings were slowly surfacing.
Somehow, it still hurt. What he had done to her still hurt.
"It's not like that… He can control the dark side now… He's more immune to it somehow."
"But he did harm you," Darred said gravely.
"If your father was here…" Jobal mused.
"I think Anakin would be dead by now," Padmé tried to smile.
As if on cue, the double doors opened abruptly, startling them all.
Anakin was standing in the entryway, his dark cloak floating menacingly around him, his face tensed and his eyes carefully assessing the situation. Padmé could feel the tiny shreds of doubt making their way into his mind and only tensed further.
Something was wrong.
“Ana-”
“I need to speak to you right now,” he only uttered through clenched teeth.
Out of the corner of her eye, Padmé could feel Darred tense and ready to protect her if the need arose. The young woman felt touched but knew it would be completely pointless if Anakin really wanted to do something violent.
Which he wouldn’t.
Padmé calmly stood up, addressing them a reassuring smile and joined her husband in the corridor, closing the double doors behind her.
In the very dim light, he didn’t look as threatening.
“I’m leaving,” her husband announced without preamble.
She felt something curl around her heart and squeeze.
“Obi-Wan?” she whispered.
He nodded.
Padmé’s breath caught in her chest. She had prepared for this but she had never expected it to happen now… That connection had been captured so long ago she had almost forgotten its existence.
She had been willing to forget it just like she had been willing to forget a lot of things lately.
Anakin abruptly seized her hands and tightened his fingers around hers.
Even in the dim light she could see how pale he was. There was something deeply troubling him.
“I want you to be careful…” he whispered. “Do not get out of these walls, please. I’m so…” A deep breath. “I’m so scared-”
His voice broke.
“Then don’t leave…” Padmé said, one of her hands escaping his tight grip to caress his cheek.
He shuddered under her caress and closed his eyes convulsively.
“This is my only chance to catch him and keep you safe once and for all…”
His trembling flesh hand took her small one on his cheek and he kissed her palm very slowly as he opened shadowed eyes.
“Promise me you’ll stay here, Padmé. You and the children.”
Something inside her rebelled against the idea.
She wasn’t a fragile doll and his nightmares no longer came true now…
But one look at his drained face changed her mind.
“I promise, Ani.”
With a groan, he pulled her flush against him, murmured words against her neck, kissed her jaw, cheek, nose, lips and put his hands around her face to deepen the kiss…
Padmé felt light-headed and only struggled to get closer to him.
“You be careful…” she whispered when she caught her breath again and his lips had treaded on her forehead.
Anakin’s smile was ghostly.
“You don’t need to be worried about me.”
His lips came back to her neck then mouth and she savored the feel of his lips against hers, sighing, her hands tightening their grip on his tunic.
But her hands suddenly met air and before she knew it – she could still taste him on her lips- he had turned and left for the back entrance of the Palace.
The dark cloak was trailing behind him menacingly until he disappeared in the distance.
Padmé’s legs felt weak and she had to lean against the wall for support.
Everything was deathly silent when Padmé shut the doors behind her, coming back into the living room.
She figured she might look slightly flushed but couldn’t care less.
Anakin’s departure was already hard to stand.
“Are you alright?” Sola asked, making her sit down immediately.
Padmé nodded weakly.
“Anakin’s left.”
“What do you mean by ‘left’?” her sister didn’t fail to ask.
There was surprise and contentment on her guests’ faces.
“A mission,” Padmé grumbled.
Darred looked at his wife meaningfully.
"This could be the chance. We can help you-"
"But you don't understand, do you?" Padmé's eyes bore into her sister's. "I'm the one grounding him to the light."
–Really? Is it still true now?-
She ignored her inner voice impatiently. "Without me, he would tear the whole galaxy apart…" Her sister only crossed her arms tightly. "And believe it or not… I love him," she added quietly.
“But this is the perfect time!” Sola countered. “Grab your children and leave now!”
Padmé only shook her head, too tired to go on with this.
After a while, her older sister sighed. "That you are too afraid to leave him for some reason or another…" A pause. "That is your choice even though I'm afraid of what will happen to your children." Silence. Padmé closed her eyes tightly. She didn't want to think about this… Not now.
"But what about your role as the brand new Empress?" Sola's brown eyes were shining with accusation again.
"That is just a ruse.” Padmé admitted quietly. “My plan is to progressively bring the galaxy back to democracy. I am more useful here in the realms of power than out there, helping the few people resisting."
Silence.
Padmé realized it was the first time she had ever explained her plot to someone. It felt liberating.
Anakin wasn’t there anymore. He was becoming more and more distant as the minutes ticked by.
"That is…what you are doing now, what you've been doing all along? You are plotting behind his back?"
The sudden vulnerability in her sister's voice would have been touching - she wanted to believe in her so much…if Padmé hadn't been suddenly back to business, the light shining in her eyes.
"I have all the power up there. Anakin trusts me blindly. I am the one taking the decisions! And soon… very soon, I will free the galaxy." In other times, Padmé would have noticed the almost megalomania of her sentences but she was too far gone in the hope of a better future to notice. "But please…" she looked at her mother and niece meaningfully. "Please, keep this to yourself. This needs to stay secret. I can't afford to lose Anakin's trust. And I don't want to," she added almost as an afterthought.
Sola's head fell into her hands.
"I knew you weren't bad, Auntie!" Ryoo exclaimed for the first time, brown eyes akin to hers shining with admiration. "I always believed in you!"
"Thanks, sweetie…" the young woman smiled, holding out a hand towards the little girl who came into her arms easily and holding her close.
"It sounds impossible, Padmé…" Sola's voice came out of her joined hands. She looked up, suddenly looking very tired. "I believe in you," she said softly, "or at least I want to believe in you, but you can't do all this alone…"
"It does sound impossible," Darred agreed. "We all know your talents in the political area but alone, without awakening anyone's suspicion, bringing a whole galaxy back to democracy?" He shook his head. "I am not even sure the people in this galaxy want democracy. When you listen to some people sometimes, you are disgusted with them," he said bitterly.
Jobal sighed. "I agree with Darred. You cannot save people against their own will."
"Some of them are resisting," Padmé replied quietly. "And soon enough they will all see the light. In time, they will. Remember what I always said about democracy?"
Her mother smiled good-naturedly.
"Democracy isn't about what the people want but about what they need, right? Your dad used to say this to you despite the Youth legislature program sayings…"
Padmé smiled back at her and felt suddenly at ease for the first time in forever. At least her family supported her. And she didn't feel alone in this knowledge anymore.
"But this is dangerous-" Jobal added earnestly.
"Dad would be proud of you." Sola interrupted, smiling at her despite her tear-filled eyes.
Padmé caught the glint of mischief in her eyes and smiled in return.
It was time to part much too soon.
Padmé fought against the lump in her throat as she watched her dear family walk away from the Palace. Night engulfed hands waving at her from afar.
Security was accompanying them back home.
Where she was forbidden to go.
Padmé’s mind flashed to her father, there at home, probably looking at the same stars she was now. With that probable sense of loss in his chest as well.
He was so stubborn.
But again, so was she.
And things looked better now.
Now her family knew. They could tell Ruwee, explain, make him understand… Her breath materialized in the fresh air of night.
Padmé’s face was exuding peace for once.
Then she remembered Anakin leaving and his comfort gone –in his eyes, she was still Padmé and he wasn’t afraid of that darkness lurking inside her and scaring her and she already missed his presence and his touch and-
Closing her eyes and feeling a slight breeze on her face, she prayed the Force to bring Anakin back to her unharmed.
She hoped he would succeed and she hoped he would fail. She wanted Anakin to find Obi-Wan and kill him.
Kill…
And she hoped he did not.
She couldn’t have Obi-Wan’s blood on her conscience.
She needed Anakin’s soul to come back as intact as possible.
