Overheard in Montreal

bee_york @ 9:57pm: "He's Asian, so I can't tell how old he is! He could be 20, he could be 45..."

-random white chick on her cell in front of the Library Building at Concordia

wench_for_hire @ 12:40am: Like in the movies...
Overheard on the 204 bus.

Girl and boy had been arguing since they got on the bus, near Lindsey Place HighSchool. There were two other people on the bus, including myself. About three stops later, near Yazoo pet store, an middle-aged woman gets on the bus. The couple's bickering continues.

Girl: (yelling) "You know, if you stopped drinking every f***ing day, maybe you wouldn't be so f***ing poor."
Boy: (cooly) "If you had a drink once a month, maybe you wouldn't be such a bitch."
Girl: (starts to get off the bus) "You know what? Stay on the bus and go back home. It turns around at Dorval. I'm outta here."
Boy: (follows her) "Wait what?!"

They get off and continue arguing as the bus drives away. It's really quiet on the bus, until about one minute later.

Middle-aged Woman: "Sometimes it's great to be single, huh? Who needs a man. Get a dog."

leftof_thedial @ 4:00pm:  Guy 1: I like your shirt, man.
Guy 2: Thanks...
Guy 1: You always wear energetic shirts, man. I like it.

Definition of energetic: possessing or exerting or displaying energy. I think someone needs to make friends with the dictionary again.

Same guys.
Guy 1: You like it here, in montreal?
Guy 2: Yeah, it's nice.
Guy 1: If you need anything, man. Anything at all.
Guy 3: Prescriptions.... prescription medications.... 

 

dgg @ 8:27am: I know intelligence is a prerequisite, but...
Overheard on the bus. I was sitting behind these two 18-year old girls...

Girl 1: "It's not, like, y'know...I hate the job or anything, it's just that they sometimes ask me to do shit I don't wanna do."

Girl 2: "Why don't you quit?"

Girl 1: "I might...I dunno...Anyways, the manager is going on vacation for two weeks. I plan to take, like, y'know... full advantage."

Girl 2: "I see...Hey, how's Mike?"

Girl 1: "Mike?"

Girl 2: "Mike! Your boyfriend?"

Girl 1: "Oh! *lol* He's fine I guess. I dunno. I think I might break up with him."

Girl 2: "Why?"

Girl 1: "I dunno...I feel like I am too smart for him."

supermichelle @ 5:19pm: pharmacist to another pharmacist in a hospital in mtl..

"And the nurse wrote on the prescription.. 'ASAPSVP'  only in montreal would you get 'as soon as possible.. s'il vous plait"

loveasaverb @ 9:58pm: In line at Tim Horton's today..

Girl: .............shot the harp seals.
Guy: And this is in Canada?
Girl: No, the Arctic


WAIT WHAT? Nevermind the fact that these seals are usually hunted in Newfoundland & Labrador, but sovereignty ends at the Arctic Circle?! Yeah, I laughed, but at least turned away politely.

contradictoire @ 1:22pm: i just thought i'd tell you about Entendu à Montréal
it's exactly like overheardmtl but a bit more active & in french.

odetothepillow @ 6:33pm: Let me guess who was wearing the pants...
Two men in their late 20s walk down Saint-Viateur:
"Dude, the thing is you kept trying to break up with her so many times... The deal is she kept vetoing it!"

oh_susieq @ 9:57pm: “Yeah, I’m feeling really jaded today. Like earlier, I saw this couple making out and I just wanted to yell, HE HAS AIDS!”


- Shannon bannon

dgg @ 10:03am: Obviously an American Tourist
Hey I don't enforce the stereotype, I just write them as I observed them.

American Tourist #1: “I don’t understand why nothing is written in English! Don’t these people know that tourists can’t read French!?”

American Tourist #2: “I don’t see why the locals complain. The winters here are so pretty!”

American Tourist #3: “So I asked her, ‘Why am I being charged $20 extra!?’ and she says ‘taxes’. $20 in f*cking taxes!? That’s outrageous! I don’t see why I have to pay that!”

American Tourist #4: “Well he said he was from Mun-tree-al but I think he was pulling my leg because his English was really good!”

loveasaverb @ 10:21pm: Really?
"YES it is your fault it broke down because you smoked nine-hundred and fifty THOUSAND cigarettes in it tonight!"

-someone walking by my window, presumably yelling about their car.

odetothepillow @ 3:18am: Is the food that bad over there?
Two women and a man walk up Drummond and stop to take a random picture in front of a chichi restaurant.

WOMAN: If I lived here, I'd never move back to Saskatchewan.

odetothepillow @ 12:24pm: La France devrait se separer du Royaume-Uni.
A Casa del popolo, un Francais de France approche le comptoir...

FRANCAIS: Je pourrais avoir un cookie?
SERVEUSE: Un quoi?
FRANCAIS: Un cookie.
SERVEUSE: Ca s'appelle un biscuit! Parle donc francais!


x-posted to my journal

neverthelessjes @ 2:48am: "I only care about the care, I don't care about the guy driving it."

Some girl as I was biking along Sherbrooke, past the McGill gates...

tristia @ 7:29pm:

i work in a library --

petit garçon tout petit: madame, je cherche des livres sur les autos, mais je sais pas comment ça s'écrit, je sais que ça commence par "O" et "T"..

me: :D

v0idnull @ 1:47pm: The French Defeat the Americans
smoking a cigarette in pointe st. charles, two people are locked in a debate.

American: "Who does all the killing in Iraq?"
Quebecer: "Well, I imagine its the rebels."
American: "And where are these rebels from. They aren't Iraqi, they are Al Queada forces"
Quebecer: "And they weren't there till you showed up"
American: "I...uh...eh... ..."

axonbiologist @ 12:31am: A change of pace, but it is what i overheard . . .

A 17 year old girl sits in a Cadillac and yells at a boy of about the same age lying in the passenger seat, with the seat all the way reclined, looking away from her. The dashboard lights dully illuminate them both. The girl is blond and skinny, with a tight face, and she is yelling so loudly that she can be heard outside of the car, down the block. The boy has black hair, shorn diagonally across his face. His face is in a state of total otherness.

Girl: 
FUCK YOU! i DON'T deserve this! How could you say I earned it? 
         (sobs as the boy mutters something.)
Get out of the car!

          (They both sit in silence.)

ispyagirl @ 3:04pm: overheard in a grocery store
Le gars 1 admire le nouveau tatouage tribal sur le mollet du gars 2 et demande:

Gars 1: Qu'est-c'est que ca veut dire?
Gars 2: J'sais-tu, moé, man? Peace?

eli_l @ 11:54pm: Comme...
Vendeuse au téléphone: Je suis comme encore laide mais cute, comme dans le temps que j'étais laitte.

Entendu au Ardène, rue Ste-Catherine.

mrxsleaze @ 12:47pm: overheard at work;
male coworker 1: "i wasn't looking at his legs."

female coworker: "neither was i. that woulda been kinda awkward..."

male coworker 2: "i was."

male coworker 1: "... that's kinda weird."

male coworker 2: "it's an argentinian thing, because of soccer; we look at guys' legs."

(me: "that's kinda hot.")

dgg @ 11:15am: Not everyone drinks for the same reason
Crescent Street, Saturday night:

Drunk Guy: “Hey dude! What are you drinking?”

Dude: “Just orange juice.”

Drunk guy: “Just Orange Juice? Why are you drinking ‘just’ orange juice?”

Dude: “Urm….I have a cold?”

evil_mom @ 4:19pm: overheard last night
Two guys on St-Laurent, rushing to get in line at the Tokyo Bar. One of them is super clean cut, with a shaved head. The other has a beard & waist-length ratty dreadlocks. 

Cueball - Hurry the f- up!
Dreadguy - Shut the f- up, you hairless bastard!

desir_obscur @ 3:05pm: Les choses ne sont plus ce qu'elles étaient
Individu no 1: Ben là, on sait que la passion dure trois ans.

Individu no 2: Ce n'est pas deux ans?

Individu no 3: Il me semblait que c'était trois mois!

Entendu ce matin chez Cora, Ste-Catherine/Amherst.

swestrup @ 11:09pm: Overheard in Hudson
Overheard this today at a vernissage in Hudson:

Lady: Sorry I'm late. I took the 20 and I kept looking for the Hudson exit, and of course there isn't one. I eventually ended up in St. Clit. Well, I guess that's probably not what the natives call it, but that's what it looked like to me! And I mean -- what a great place name!

dgg @ 1:17pm: Trying to put it perspective
I ran into my uncle at the gas station this morning. I noticed he has both Concordia U and McGill U stickers proudly displayed on the back window of his car.

Me: “You realize that's wrong right?”

Uncle: “Huh?”

Me: “Let me explain it another way. It’s kind of like having both the Habs and the Leafs logo on your car.”

Uncle: “Oh!”