| Out of the mouth of babes |
[Jun. 30th, 2008|12:05 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  amused | ] |
Overheard at the Wall E screening at Alamo Drafthouse South Lamar -
Kid: "I want a waffle!"
Dad: "No, its a FALAFEL".
(After server had named what food items she was delivering.) |
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| Overheard at my work |
[Feb. 27th, 2008|12:41 am] |
Coworker 1 : Don't go to Landing Strip.
Coworker 2 : Why not?
Coworker 1 : Dude, Landing Strip is the convalescent home for dancers. Its where strippers go to die.
It was a highly entertaining conversation. |
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[Feb. 22nd, 2008|07:31 am] |
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"I'd not even dive in the daytime! Much less the night. I'd have little poop logs floating away behind me." |
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[Feb. 8th, 2008|07:41 pm] |
Here are a few quotes I've heard over the past few weeks that have been written down in my notebook of awesomeness. Thus, I will share them with you.
Anthropology professor, upon describing Viggo Mortensen's outfit for an awards show, "Those crazy Scandinavians! You always have to watch out for them; you can NEVER be sure what they'll do next!"
Same professor, a week later in class: "I'm salivating from all of this palpation of my glands"
Asian boy: All those fucking Korean girls look exactly alike!
Asian girl: But-
Asian boy: And they all have American names like Jennifer and Christina. I know twenty Jennifer's and Christina's and they're all Korean.
Asian girl: But you're Chinese!
Asian boy: So? I said all Korean girls look alike, not all Asians look alike. That's not racist. |
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| on the lakeshore/north riverside bus |
[Nov. 28th, 2007|04:10 pm] |
girl on phone: "well, I want a Gucci wallet, 3 peacoats, a Tiffany ring and a Coach purse. If you pick something I don't like, I won't even want to touch it...my list isn't more expensive, you bought Donna an iPod for $300! I'm sorry, am I pressuring you?"
and the best part?
"I'm not that materialistic. All Asians are materialistic." |
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| good in the hood |
[Nov. 28th, 2007|03:30 pm] |
«residenttexan» I love living in the hood
«residenttexan» it either smells like pot or bbq all the time. |
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| overheard in dhaba joy, vegan cafe |
[Oct. 23rd, 2007|06:21 pm] |
girl a: "my dad and i made chocolate chip cookies with tofu."
girl b: "wait, i thought tofu was meat?"
girl a: "last time we had this conversation, you thought tofu was chicken." |
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| At The Action Hero Institute: |
[Oct. 17th, 2007|05:33 pm] |
Tough P.E. lady: "Pain is weakness leaving the body!"
OW... |
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| hey I am just the reporter. |
[Oct. 8th, 2007|09:19 am] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | at work | ] |
| [ | mood |
| | busy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | idle chit chat | ] |
Aboard a Cap Metro bus this morning.
Old woman to bus driver: Now if they really want the team to win, they need to bring them bad boys back. Them bad boys really know how to run- like they do from the po-lice." |
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| ACL Sunday Night |
[Sep. 17th, 2007|10:12 pm] |
Dude: Woooaaah, so, like, when are the White Stripes gonna play?
Bro: uuuhh... they, like, cancelled? ....
Dude: I know! They're awesome, right?!
Bro: ... |
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[Sep. 9th, 2007|02:22 am] |
I was sitting on campus at UT today when two bros and two bro-ettes walked behind me. I caught the following part of the conversation:
Bro #1: Dude, I'm sweating like a stuck pig.
Broette #1: Pigs don't sweat.
Bro #2: STUCK pigs do.
I should have told him to "make like a tree and get the fuck out." Ah, hindsight. |
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| overheard at Flugtag |
[Aug. 26th, 2007|03:59 pm] |
A woman, to a bunch of guys in the crowd at Flugtag: If you can visualize this, she was standing with her feet spread out to each side, bending slightly at the knees, and repeatedly making a swift, downward thrusting motion with her hands, starting at her abdomen and moving down past her crotch.
Woman (over and over): My ovaries are falling out! My ovaries are falling out! Do you know what ovaries are!? |
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| IDK if this is that funny, but... |
[Aug. 22nd, 2007|06:57 pm] |
Little girl, probably between 4 and 6 years old: OMG! A butterfly just landed on my hand! OMG!!!
Cracked me up because I didn't realize that kids know all the internet/text message slang at such a young age these days. Made me feel old. |
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| who says the barter system is dead? |
[Aug. 16th, 2007|09:29 pm] |
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girl outside spiderhouse: you're never gonna sleep with me--give me my bike back. |
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[Aug. 16th, 2007|09:07 pm] |
Overheard at the Draught House -
Theresa: "There's a doggie motel in that area."
Guy #1: "what happens at a doggie motel?"
Guy # 2 and Snax in unison: "bow chicka BOW wow!!" |
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[Aug. 15th, 2007|06:36 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | amused | ] |
i'm sitting in the public library and i am pretty sure i heard this 12 year old boy just say "i have something called gaydar." |
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[Aug. 5th, 2007|04:08 pm] |
| [ | music |
| | DJ Shadow-Changeling (Original Demo Excerpt) | ] |
my gay (male) friend: I want Beth Ditto to have my babies. I will fuck her fat ass. |
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| More of a "misheard" |
[Aug. 2nd, 2007|03:05 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  embarrassed | ] |
I guess it counts as an overheard, since there were witnesses -
Co-worker: "I haven't heard much recently about Crookshanks, have you?"
Me: "No, not really....oh, wait - who's Crookshanks?!"
Co-worker: "Hermione's cat in Harry Potter."
Me: "Oh - I thought you were talking about Creutzfeldt-Jakob disease. Nothing gets my attention like a discussion about spongiform encephalopathy!"
edit: I guess I deserved the embarrassment, since earlier I'd been asking him leading/teasing questions about the book - I finished it, but he's only on Chapter 15. |
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| Got Milk? |
[Jul. 20th, 2007|12:18 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | amused | ] |
Woman #1: "I breast fed for ten years"
Woman #2: "ONE child?!!"
Woman #1: (clutching her breasts) "No, four but I never thought my breasts would be mine again"
~at the Ginger Man |
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[Jul. 9th, 2007|04:48 pm] |
Alright, I've got an old one, but I just found this community.
Hair Stylist: "Do you use any product?"
Woman with too-big hair: "Sí, un poco mousse."
Stylist: "Ah, por eso! Mousse es por volumen!"
Woman: "Verdad?"
Stylist: "Sí! Volumen! Es por... por... Big Texas Hair."
Eavesdroppers: *crack up* |
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