Overheard in BrisVegas

Overheard at Work

Wed, 02 Jul 2008 14:33:53 GMT

A cute boy + girl talking at my coffee shop::

Boy:: Is Gorge spelt the same as George?
Girl:: No, because then it would be George.

On the 121.

Tue, 17 Jun 2008 12:24:33 GMT

A first year uni student guy and a working girl who know each other (maybe from high school?) meet up unexpectedly on the bus. They're chatting about uni.

Guy: Well, I wanna get all 7s...
GIrl: Do you have any yet?
Guy: Two so far.
Girl: I guess it's pretty easy to get a 7, hey?
Guy: Um, not that easy...

On the 381.

Fri, 13 Jun 2008 06:24:24 GMT

Two schoolkids are sitting near me and chatting. One is a senior and the other is a junior:

Junior: What sort of things do you learn in maths C?
Senior: One of the first things you learn is how to find variables in non-right-hand triangles. There's this thing called the Sine Rule -
Lowers his voice in the air of imparting great wisdom
- Now I wouldn't tell you this if I didn't think you could handle it... (he then goes on to explain).

stalker

Fri, 13 Jun 2008 05:52:46 GMT

While sitting near two teenage girls in Subway:

"We weren't stalking him - we just followed him everywhere he went! It's not like we looked up his address in the phone book."

In a café

Thu, 12 Jun 2008 04:21:06 GMT

Woman telling her friends: I don't drink coke; it sucks the calcium right out of your bones!

RBH corridor

Thu, 12 Jun 2008 04:09:13 GMT

Him: Are you right?
Her: No, I'm half left.

Overheard On the 174

Wed, 11 Jun 2008 08:54:33 GMT

Boy:: Why aren't they friends?
Girl:: Because Jack is jerk + Bettyy's mean
Boy:: If I had my balls removed + you had you're ovaries cut out, would we still be friends?
-Silence-
Boy:: I mean, would we still talk?

Wed, 11 Jun 2008 05:32:42 GMT

Guy in café talking about how most people associate computers and Internet with pain:

Most people can't even use their TV remote controls. They press the up and down arrows instead of pressing the 7 button from 9.

He then went on to talk about creative centres being on the outside of the brain because they get more blood or something crazy like that. A true expert on everything...

True, 'tis

Sun, 30 Dec 2007 03:19:36 GMT

Context: A night in early December. Post-staff dinner, Garuva's, Fortitude Valley. Another woman and I pay first and slip outside to wait for the others in the cool breeze.
Another lady is waiting there, looking a little unsettled. She's mid-thirties, conservatively dressed. She's looking for friends, it seems, and has been slightly disturbed by the cultural makeup of the Valley. Goodness, she says, there's gay men everywhere now!
"Yes," my friend serenely observes, "both of my husbands are gay."

Daily?

Tue, 09 Oct 2007 11:34:22 GMT

This morning I got on the bus and asked for a zone 1-2 concession, single. His reply baffled me:

"Single, yes? Did you want a daily?"

Umm... no. I'm pretty sure I would have asked for one if I wanted one.

Overheard in Mens Shoes, Myer

Thu, 05 Jul 2007 20:07:27 GMT

[Customer inspecting the selection of discount shoes available, as per standard only the right shoe is available for inspection]

Customer: "What sizes do you have available?"
Clerk: "Just the ones on the table."
Customer: "Okay... if we buy 'em we get the left one too right?"

Non sequitur of the year

Tue, 24 Apr 2007 16:45:38 GMT

C.K. and I were shopping in Diva Jewellery, when she made a beeline towards an unusual pearl necklace. "I've got a diamante one of these!" she said. "A lesbian licked it!"

Mon, 26 Mar 2007 09:16:28 GMT

Very snappily dressed angry mid-twenties office-worker, click-clacking her way down the street in stylish stilettos as she snapped into her phone:

"I think he's... like... you know, ADD or summing, 'cause he spent all evening pouring his drink over Adam's head!"

[further discussion, garbled by traffic noise]

"He just kept putting [...] everything onto the barbecue! His beer on the barbecue, [someone's] mobile on the barbecue!"

Overhear/Overshare

Tue, 13 Mar 2007 06:36:50 GMT

Sitting in Carindale shopping center with some friends, a man walks past on his phone:

"Yeah... Oh yeah, Fucked her guts out! Shit man it was so messy! It was like..."

And then he trailed off...
Thankyou, for making my day that tad more squeemish...

happy big gay day!

Mon, 12 Mar 2007 14:52:32 GMT

Outraged gay man, on seeing my flat's garbage disposal panel:

"I want a fucking chute! Why can't I have a fucking chute?"

[edited as i checked a previous recount of the conversation]

Fri, 09 Feb 2007 10:40:47 GMT

Taxi driver, about a restaurateur:

"I've 'ad one of 'is steaks, and it wasn' bad. By not bad I mean not good either. I 'ad steak and chips and they was both overcooked. If I was gay I'd a never married him. I'd a been eating shithouse chips all me life!"

Emos.

Sun, 04 Feb 2007 05:16:49 GMT

Security guard in the city getting a call on his radio.

Radio: Yeah, uh.. we need you up on level 2. There's a bunch of emos sitting on the couches.
Securty Guy: I'm on my way, what are they doing?
Radio: Sitting around and being emo, just get rid of them.

Cute

Thu, 25 Jan 2007 05:45:29 GMT

A 4 year old explaining things to his mum:

"No mum!"

"The train isn't on the road, and it's not on a bridge so it MUST be FLYING!!!"

He was very serious about it...

could have fooled me!

Overheard in JB Hi-Fi

Fri, 12 Jan 2007 09:22:15 GMT

"It's just like riding a bike. Or rather, being ridden like you were a bike."

Honestly...

Sat, 11 Nov 2006 05:44:42 GMT

Walking through the IGA in Carina:

Two employees unpacking boxes, one of them throws a lid:

Employee 2: "Honestly, who throws a shoe? You're fired." in an english accent.

and while walking up to one of the tellers:

"...Please refrain from setting fire to the lawn."

Love and Marriage

Sat, 26 Aug 2006 00:58:53 GMT

Guy walking past my shop: I just said I love her, I don't want to marry her.
His friend: Oh.

I don't know why I found that so amusing.

In a Corporate Writing lecture

Tue, 01 Aug 2006 11:53:04 GMT

Quinn bursts into the lecture with flair.

Girls behind me: Oh my god...it's Quinn!!! (in a Ohmygod it's Brad Pitt way)

He spreads.

Heard in a chocolate shop in the Myer Centre

Mon, 22 May 2006 09:07:06 GMT

Guy holding up a box of chocolates - "Pam, how much do you love me?"

To start us off...

Fri, 28 Apr 2006 23:06:43 GMT

Guy on mobile, business type, around Southbank somewhere - Just throw rocks at her.