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Saturday, July 19th, 2008
llz
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8:51p
self-consciousness, or pure distilled ego -- someone else decide
p.s., stoking the flame of my disdain for academia, i feel that most lines of thought i pursue are quality fodder for a scholarly article or several, but could never be bothered to organize, research/support and present them for respectable dissemination. the example i believe most exemplary of this is my characterization (however reductionist, still undeniably empirically supported) of american and european cultures via comparison of their popular music
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• in the bedroom
tulle
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6:58p
Feast your eyeballs upon the best fabric finds ever! Pillowcase from the thrift :3 I searched every bin for the sheet coordinates but alas, no :[ I am going to make a soundwave & starscream bag! I always have trouble coordinating lining and pockets with these fabrics, but fuck it, I am a girl and I am doing floral lining on a starscream bag because I LIKE daisies and I like decepticons - I apologize to noone, having a vagina is amazing etcetc pride. I am so excited to see soundwave in the next movie <2 They said they wanted him in the first, but couldn't come up with a good way to do it but finally, finally did. I hope he's not some weird mp3player, I demand cassette deck!!! I mean, noone who knows transformers is going to care if it's cheesy, it's total fankwank and homage to keep him true, true, true. Plus I could see barricade snickering, lol good job dude with ur outdated technology excuse me I need to go be a badass saleen; there should be a robot chicken about that.
I also got uge bag of costme jewelry for twenty dollars - most of it is banged up, but I can use alot of pieces on my vintage jewelries & some pieces are perfect, like the celluloid flower brooch & the earrings I am holding - those are my favorite and if I wore jewelry I'd be iced up like marie antoinette.
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2½ • in the bedroom Sunday, July 20th, 2008
• in the bedroom Saturday, July 19th, 2008
llz
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8:26p
the jobs that i started a week ago today is promotional "modeling", or just being an event worker. i stumbled across an ad on Craigslist under "events" on friday and for the next 4 days found myself taking NAACP Convention-goers' personal info for U.S. Army recruiting purposes at $14/hr full-time (Obama spoke on tuesday, not that i went to see him). my coworker Christianah told me about another promotion for Wendy's in Columbus on weds and thursday. had friday off. today and tomorrow i'm working the rockclimbing wall (!) for the Army again at the annual air show in Dayton.
since i started, i've gleaned the names of a dozen promo companies from my coworkers and currently work for 3. they just e-mail you upcoming events in the cities/regions you indicate and you decide which you want to work. i can't say how awesome that is. work and vacation whenever you want, pretty much, and it's not the same damn location day-in day-out. (as a CouchSurfer, i admit to having a superiority complex for my peers who elect to stay in hotels.) the pay is great, i've gotten $14-17/hr so far and lots of events go into $20-30/hr range.. in Miami, NYC, LA etc they also have openings for private party go-go dancers ($75/hr), "hos" (wear skimpy dress n pass out samples, $45/hr) and male topless dancers ($500/day). and most work isn't any more taxing than being a cashier at Kroger (no offense Will, it was the first example that came to the top of my head). at worst, you're standing for 8 hrs in the heat walking people through computerized surveys; when it's better, you're teaching them to play tennis on Wii or (squeeee!) strapping them into harnesses and climbing!
the only downside is, you receive your paycheck in the mail ~a month after the event.
if anyone out there knows of any unskilled labor, err, student job that pays higher, please speak up now.
god i noticed though that in work settings i have so much contempt for my peers. i feel like i have a better way of doing things and want to make suggestions but hold my tongue until it's called for, for fear of coming off as being? a know-it-all. at the rockwall today, the other 2 guys weren't climbers at all and i kept watching to make sure they didn't put the harnesses on wrong.. just kinda scary when the company's been sued before for injury on the wall and touts us event workers to the climbing public as "professionals who know what they're doing".
interlude: since when did YouTube have a "This video is not available in your country." error!?
so i got lucky with being a semi-experienced climber, that already got me thinking i should get paid more than the other workers.. then walked over a bunch of fobs. of course i attended tended to them in chinese, however unarticulate mine might be. i'm willing to bet half of them wouldn't have thought to climb the wall if it weren't for me inviting them over. of course the native vs. ABC (even though i'm not one technically) dynamic was still at work, but they told me i spoke well and i felt like i was with a bunch of older siblings.
after that, i was a goner.. totally started labeling those around me as monolingual cunts (thanks W for the term) and felt stifled. in fact, my after-work behavior now is just like it was in Russia -- ditch my peers ASAP and seek out CSers to hang out with.
the thing that occurred to me is, in most other countries, the majority of people, or a good share of the populace, are such monolingual, or rather a better term, monocultural cunts. there are two/three types, ignorant, incompetent, and those who are both. it comes down to me not standing people who don't try to improve, who don't explore to discover better things. close-mindedness. can't stand, don't even wanna learn to, not ever. cuz i'm constantly looking to try new things, gain skills, and i can't conceive of another way of doin' it.
----- it irks me so when people, good people, look at me in surprise when i tell them the scars on my arm are from cutting myself. what, you've never met someone who did that? surprise is hardly the appropriate reaction, unless i suppose, you originally had me pegged as perpetually upbeat. fuck surprise, the appropriate reaction here is empathy. does this make me jaded/"worldly"? that i can handle the prospect of virtually any occurrence? i hate those words, they denote indifference/seen it all-ness.. i'm far from it, i'm just able to wrap my head around most things. -----
why the fuck didn't Lisa call me when she decided to go to Columbus? she took Greyhound we could've carpooled, i went on wednesday anyways for work. i swear, she's tarada. she just hadn't called me in the previous week even though we were in the same city. for that reason it's hard for me to believe her claim that we're friends. on the other hand, i hadn't called her either, not even just to talk. i was 30 min away the whole time and if we weren't going out, i didn't want to hear about her perpetual incompetences, however well-intentioned. am i a terrible friend? it just fucking pains me to hear about people's problems when i know exactly what i'd do to fix the situation, try to tell them gently, and then they can't do it. i can't handle it. i refuse to be a broken record or impose. "live and let live." "you live and learn or you don't live long." i just don't love anyone that much or am so certain that mine is the solution; what if they're really better off as is? just offer suggestions until you can't do it anymore.
whew. writing about it really is the best therapy. in addition, it enhances my self-love (to a level even higher than it already is) because i came up with it myself. i was thinking the other day how much i love myself. i have been doing all that is best for me while still treating others fairly, even promoting openness in them. i know exactly what's best for me. because i know me! and i like who she is. me me me me me. so complete. so self-sufficient and -sustaining. tra la la. la.
last vehicular aural therapy:
nine days - story of a girl
blink-182 - i miss you
maksim - nay4ys' letat'
sia - breathe me
p.s., John's parents are really great... *sob*.
current mood: goin' to Dayton CS dinner
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• in the bedroom
equinoccio
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7:19p
Nonsense.
I learnt today, at work, that no matter how gentle an old lady looks, she'll end up renting porn.
Actually, the sweeter she looks, the more hardcore the porn will be.
Tell me 3 facts that I don't know about you, please!
current mood:  sleepy
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2½ • in the bedroom
marinsucks
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5:03p
too much fun for one person to handle
suprise stache.
in equally important things, i think i am painting my new house eggplant purple and gold. if you think that's a bad idea; shut up. i beat eight people in Scrabble today.
just kidding. i haven't even done anything today and i got up super early. what the fuck?
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• in the bedroom
vylotte
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4:38p
Saturday, blessed Saturday
Anyone else happy for a weekend? Mmmmmmm.
I had an epiphany regarding cleaning. I have three kids. Let's say they are awake 14 hours per day. 3 x 14 is 42 mess units. I am usually awake for 16. Even if I cleaned at a unit rate of 2, that's only 32 clean units. It's no freaking wonder I can't keep up!
Bill and I took the kids to a Mariner's game last night. Oh my gosh did they have fun! It was a first for all us Wincek/Morrells, Bill is the pro. We were just exactly too late for the Ichiro (?) bobblehead dolls, but all angst disappeared when I announced that each kid could get a foam finger. Of their own! Glee, excitement, doling out of colors (because God forbid two kids have the same color)! And boy, they were the hit of the night. And the next day. I've been poked and prodded and pointed at and had things pointed out to me ever since. The fingers are now on their way with the kids to dad's house, because obviously things need pointed to there, as well!
Of the three kids, Arielle had the best time. I was completely shocked at how much she got into it. Screaming, dancing, foam pointing, she asked many questions about the rules and was quite the pro fan by the time it was over. Isabelle jumped around and screamed and danced, then inevitably followed it up by, "did something happen?" Reno doubled his attention span by watching for at least an hour before he had eaten all his snacks, read his Garfield book and had moved onto the gameboy. We will definitely have to do it again sometime!
Today my massive plans include watching B5 and cleaning the carpets. Then, later, reading. Woo! I need to quiet the din in my head with antisocial hermiting and possibly carbs.
And to end the post, ( Memorial Day BBQ pictures and the Mariner's Game )
current mood:  good
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• in the bedroom
reptarr
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4:29p
A lot has happened in the past few days and a lot is going to happen in the days to come.....
We found out last minute from the Hematology Platelet Aggregation specialist at Macmaster that I do have a blood abnormality. This could fuck up a lot of stuff for me right now....
Basically, I'm having surgery on Thursday in Florida. I've kept it quiet irl, and even on here, because it is controversial... but, of course, as I live in a town full of desperate houswives and gossip girls, word got out somehow. DON'T ask me how. It's almost impossible. I swear people hire spies around here just to dig up dirt on people.
Anyway, I'll explain more about it soon enough, but basically I am have a Mini Gastric Bypass.
Long story short, I'm having it for a couple of reasons,
1 - After becoming immobilized by the Ehlers-Danlos my genetics have gotten the better of me. I've always fought with my weight, even when I was training for dance competitions 12 hours a week. There is no room for improvement in my diet - I eat like a saint.
2 - It's a great big vicious cycle. The less active I am, the more weight I put on. The more weight I put on, the more strain on my joints. The more strain on my joints, the harder and more
painful it is to be active.
3 - This surgery will help release water from my joints.
4 - Every. Single. One of my specialists - even at Sick Kids - are 150% supportive of this surgery as an aid in me getting better, being able to do phsyio, walking farther, riding more, etc etc etc.
5 - I am the first person under the age of 18 to be accepted by OHIP to have out-of-country surgery paid fully by them.
6 - Also the first under 18 person to even be considered by OHIP for fully covered Weight Loss Surgery - let alone accepted by them!
and lastly,
7 - I CAN FINALLY FEEL GOOD ABOUT MYSELF AGAIN.
Anyway, like I said, more will be explained with time, but I have to get the surgery done first! and this is where the problem lies....
apparently I have a bleeding problem and could be a huge risk of bleeding out. I have bad aggregation, deaggregation and there was even an "absent" aggregation or something :O basically, my blood is fucking crazy.
So I'm going to a rush appointment at Macmaster on monday at 8:30 to have the tests re-done. There is the slight possibility that the test could have provided a false abnormality, but it is unlikely, but we need to know.
If the tests were correct then it's up to my surgeon (who is actually a family friend - long story again! but my mom and dad both had the same surgery by him, mom mom for weight and knee problems, my dad for hip problems - and it has made him not have to have a hip replacement for another 5 years at least! yay! It's amazing....) whether or not he wants to take the risk.
If he does, then the only way I can have any surgery is if I can get a Blood Platelet Transfusion before, during and after surgery. Hopefully my dad can provide that, were both A Pos.
ughhhhhjdsfjlsdkfjsldfjdslfkj this is all so confusing. So basically we leave monday night to go and stay in an airport hotel in Buffalo, then we fly to Florida early tuesday morning.
Hopefully the test results will arrive in Florida on Wednesday, or maybe even Tuesday, then it's all up to Dr.P (surgeon) :/
IT SUCKS NOT KNOWING. SERIOUSLY. Especially as I have been SOOOOOOO excited for the surgery - now I might not even now for sure yes or no until the morning of surg and that is just KILLING my anxiety.
holy shit.
sorry for tl;dr. I needed to get this all out and it is so confusing to even type and make sense.
oh well, at least I scored a SWEET babysitting gig (they're rich - I mean, pool with waterfall and a home cinema downstairs :O !)
and tomorrow I meet John Barrowman!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I guess it's not all bad......
current mood:  anxious
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3½ • in the bedroom
sorryteacups
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7:42p
hi, i take pictures and read novels and go to college. don't be afraid to add me. i generally add back, just tell me a bit about yourself so i don't think you're a creeper or something. 
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• in the bedroom
• in the bedroom
afroditey
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7:28p
"i just text you to tell you how much i love you :]"
oh gosh. i really hope that he doesnt get a crush on me...
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• in the bedroom
xxpopoutxx
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6:28p
I think for a long time I was angry, but had nothing to be angry at.
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1½ • in the bedroom
yesterday_laugh
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7:21p
nobody wants you when you're a circus clown
i should know i looked all over town
weight - 147
goal - 130-137
size - 8-10
money made in 2 weeks - 180 dollars
getting a job in two weeks for 32 hours at 14 dollars an hour
russell came over last night we're 'it's complicated'
that is all
eta - penpal (stephanie) i will write back i just havent had the time. sorry
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• in the bedroom
gynocide
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1:25p
Today's Kool-Aid.
![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) gynocide has been added to The Atheist Blogroll. The Atheist blogroll is a community building service provided free of charge to Atheist bloggers from around the world. If you would like to join, visit Mojoey at Deep Thoughts for more information.
current music: Genitorturers - Liars Lair
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• in the bedroom
1½ • in the bedroom
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