Dear Diary,

The day which is important to many people on Earth is coming up in a day. I have done extensive research on this holiday and I have decided to ignore the arguments that have come up between Ishida-kun and I for this reason. I've become tired on this game of cat and mouse of insulting one another any longer. Everything I say is so at-the-moment, Ishida-kun takes everything too serious for my tastes.

February 14, Saint Valentine's Day, which is when lovers express their feelings to each other. I've given this topic much thought and I know do feel something... deeper than pure lust for Ishida-kun; I will not lie to myself- maybe there is more to us Espadas than originally thought. (The things that happened between Nnorita and Neliel Tu before he came to me to attack her, are things I cannot label simply as black and white.) And it is not right for me to sit here and be so cruel to him now, when something of such importance to humans is approaching.

So I've been locking myself in my laboratory, leaving Ishida on his own, to create some chocolate and candy to give him. I've found many different types of recipes which I'm hoping he approves. I do not know his tastes of these confectioneries as well as I do with his sexual fantasies. White chocolate seems like it would suit him well...

I do hope these offerings will, end in some enjoyable things later in the day.

I know this is a silly action to participant in, and not at all a part of my usual character. But something is changing and I don't know how much power I have to control is any longer- or if I really want to.

Aizen-sama has not at all been happy with my actions lately. I've chosen to ignore him for the most part.

Now my laboratory is stained brown from this mess. I need a bath.

Dear Diary--

I have noticed over the following weeks which Uyruu Ishida has come into my possession -for a lack of better words- that things have become increasingly tedious for me. That boy finally surcomes to me after all this time and then finds the needs to bring up useless topics such as his former comrades. I know nothing of their whereabouts other from the information I receive from my surveillance programs and anything that Aizen-sama has decided to share. Either way, I don't see the reasoning in why he should worry about them further. May they be alive or dead- will that really change the fact that we have had sex now and that he shows no signs in leaving me or Hueco Mundo in the immediate future? There are so many other things I can busy his mind over.

It is interesting that my little Quincy would bring up something such as his 'feelings' concerning our so called 'relationship' and those labels which humans force on each other. From what I've researched on the words of 'gay' 'straight' and 'bi,' in the terms of physical human relationships, I must agree when I say they seem so pointless. Having such a term placed on your person changes nothing in what your body desires. It changes nothing for me or my lust for Ishida-kun.

Speaking of desires, I can't help but wonder if it is possible that Ishida-kun as begun to think that I might be in love with him. I am an Espada-- emotions such as love are things we are unable to experience. While I must say that we do feel certain things that may be called pride or anger in some sense, there is no need for such human feelings as love. I have wanted Ishida-kun this entire time based solely on my body's desires to have him in my bed. Which, may I add, is the best sex I've had in a very long time. When he sucks my cock--ohmygod With the way he has become so defensive in trying to pursued me in the fact he has only submitted to me because of his own desires, makes me wonder.

Humans are emotionally weak beings and are unable to fully control how they begin to feel about certain things or people. I know that Ishida-kun -Quincy or not- is no different from the rest of those humans. Though the idea that he has very possibly fallen in love with me, excites something inside of me.

Unfortunately, because of all the fun I've been indulging myself in with Ishida-kun, I've put off all of my current research and assignments from Aizen-sama. I know I will be punished for my behavior, but I can't bring myself to really care all that much. I was given this power in the first place-- no one including Aizen-sama himself --can take it away from me now.

Dear Diary,

Last night was over and above my expectations of how Ishida-kun would perform in bed.

I'll leave the details to disclose at another time. But Ishida-kun will not be sleeping much for the nights to come.

Szayel

Dear Diary,

#1 - There is no "lapse of judgment" on my part and I'm in no way 'insane'; I'm just growing bored of playing this game of 'beating around the bush.' Can we not just be blunt with each other for both our sanities? This is becoming truly annoying.

#2 - There are more flavors in this box than watermelon. Bubblegum, Cherry are available if those are the preference. I guess I'm personally partial to watermelon.

#3 - While the fears of unprotected sex never really crossed my mind- they are just an item that ended up in my possession. If he wishes for me to just fuck him without the somewhat-annoying constraints of a condom. I'm more than willing.


Those items Ishida-kun... pointed out in his entry- I'm not quite sure are the ones that would be of the best use for us. Truthfully, I'm not much for that fish or duck toy. I could see the possible appeal for them though. I've taken the time to look at that site quite thoroughly and have found the following items.





They should all be arriving in the next week and by then I would hope that Ishida-kun and I have already done more than taking about sex like we have for the past weeks.

Unfortunately, when Ishida-kun did finally remove himself from that room, a matter of hours at times does feel like an eternity for those unable to have contact to whom we wish to he completely ignored my comments about the condoms I had discovered. (Or at least pretended to because he was quite vocal about them in his entry) He went so far as to just collapse onto my bed and fall asleep without much of a word. So because I'm the sexually frustrated man I've been lately (for obvious reasons) I decided to have a little fun with Ishida-kun as he slept.

Unfortunately, he had decided to fall asleep on his stomach so I didn't have very much to work with that I had wished. But I- maybe I shouldn't write this down? let's just say that Ishida-kun's body is very responsive in his sleep (and the fact he moaned my name was almost too much to handle) and I don't know how much longer I can or want to hold out to get more than my figures into that ass of his.

As for the fitting- I'm ready to try on Ishida-kun's clothing whenever he wishes me to. I don't think I'll have a problem with me wearing some form fitting.

Oh dear- this entry has made me rather horny.

Dear Diary,

These past few days have been heaven. After making breakfast (and many more meals after that I might add) for Ishida-kun and I, we have continued spending the remaining time together. Even though he continues to go on about hypnosis as the reason for his actions and feelings; he is just hiding how he really feels behind never-ending excuses. It is something that I've started to find endearing about my cute little Quincy. Though I wish at times we wouldn't make me work so hard and just come out and tell me that he loves me enjoys my company and attention.

The fitting went by very smoothly. Ishida-kun is as precise in his measurements as expected and I was was very glad to hear he took my fitting so seriously. I greatly enjoyed the feeling of his hands moving over my body, which was an important reason for completely undressing (save my underwear that remained, for obvious reasons) He worked quickly, not letting his hands linger longer than needed. It didn't go unnoticed to me the few times he did let his hands rest on certain parts of my body. Hips, shoulders, thighs. If he didn't act so serious over making my outfits, I would have told him to not bother anymore and let us to some other important things.

I've become somewhat bored and lonely today which is part of my reasoning for writing this now. Ishida-kun has found the need to lock himself in the small room I put the sewing equipment in since breakfast. He only allowed my entrance with a small lunch during this time and now with the day coming to an end, I'm tired of waiting for him any longer. He needs not to finish the items today or even tomorrow. I'm in no real hurry- unless he is eager to dress me in his outfits. That I will not deny him.

His comment about measuring several attractive people before coming to me has been plaguing my mind. Jealously is not becoming of someone as handsome as me and I do not enjoy feeling jealous. (but maybe it's expected in these situations) I may have to ask for further details in this topic...

I was looking around my bedroom today (being as I had nothing else to entertain myself with- my research held no interest to me today) and I came across something which I had sworn was lost. My pink-watermelon flavored condoms. Oh, Ishida-kun will surely enjoy this evening when I get him back into this bedroom. He'll need something to relax his mind- he seems so distraught since our fitting.

♥
Szayelaporro

Dear Diary,

Today Aizen-sama called me and the rest of the Espada to a short meeting about nothing of importance to write in here. The thing to note is that when I was called away from Ishida-kun for this short time, he was worried enough to ask when I might be returning. He may deny such affections, but I know better. He enjoys playing with me and I enjoying the game.

I placed him in my own bedroom, for I didn't want Aizen-sama to try and do anything that might harm my dear experiment in my absence. So with the little time I had to ensure that Ishida didn't find anything I didn't him to, I left him to entertain himself.

I'm pleased to hear that he found the food I had left and enjoyed himself to it. Also, the view into Los Noches is an amazing one indeeed and this room was chosen based on that fact. I couldn't be more pleased that Ishida-kun appreciates the same things that I do. There is a reason we have been brought together like this.

I'm sorry that the majority of my reading material is not available in my bedroom. I house most of it in my laboratory and those books are nothing but research material. I doubt Ishida-kun could have found them very interesting.

I should have showed Ishida-kun where the bathroom and shower were located and the material to repair his outfit. How depressing.

I must say, after Aizen-sama's meeting, I feel very distressed and I must tell my little Quincy that I'm in dire need of rest and that when he awakes from is own nap (on my bed) that he does not bother me. When I am rested we can continue on to the fitting and maybe I can find out if he prefer briefs over boxers now that he knows my own preference.

Grantz

Dear Diary,

I wonder if my manner of speech is too much for my little Quincy to comprehend. Must I be even more straight forward? I do hope my little confession last night hasn't completely scared him away, there is still hope in the matter if he's willing to make a little creation for me. Perhaps this was a type of 'respect' I was talking about?

Yet I must confess, until last night I haven't been completely honest with myself. I haven't bothered to tell anyone (even this diary) of how difficult sleep come at night when my mind races on about Ishida-kun. They are thoughts that are better left unsaid. It is strange how one man does this to me, when a simple research project was more than enough to suffice. I only dream that I might have the same affect on him as well and I'm not alone in these troubles. The fact he does find an attraction to my words (and me as well?) sets my mind at ease on this subject for the moment.

Even so, things are on uncertain grounds for the two of us at the moment. I think Ishida-kun is unsure of how to react accordingly to me, while his current mission in saving Aizen-sama's women is so important to him. This is something I must alter if I am to get what I want in the end. Ishida-kun should have known that when I spoke of 'personal desires' his silly mission was not what I was referring to.

And yes, my apology was genuine. If you keep second guessing my actions towards you, we will never be able to trust each other. What a terrible thing to think about...

Szayelaporro

Dear Diary,

This seems to have become an annoying game of cat and mouse between Ishida-kun and I. Instead of gaining a common "respect" for which I had hoped we could have between each other- it is now an ongoing argument on our tactics in this tiresome battle. I had not expected such things to develop and I must say I am rather bothered by Ishida-kun's hostile attitude at the moment.

I don't think any of us Espada think of Aizen-sama tainting this world. He has only brought each of us power here in Hueco Mundo and in a sense giving us all lives- instead of the mindless existence of being Hollows. Here as I am, I'm able to indulge in my love for science without any constraints- except for the times which my position of the Octavo Espada must be lived up to. This battle with Ishida-kun and those others is one of those annoying predicaments.

I was not expecting such a use of dirty tactics by Ishida-kun, and that is my own fault. I had not truly thought out everything at that time and let myself be attacked openly, unable to defend myself. But I now understand the type of mind Ishida-kun has and the way he sees what is a good fight between men. He should know me well enough that, I am more than willing to talk about anything he might be interested in- I am first and foremost a man who does not mind talk when it is possible.

I can assure my little Quincy that these inescapable rooms are of my doing and of no concern to Aizen-sama. If I have not made my true intentions clear by now, I'm not sure if Ishida-kun will ever understand them. I had expected a quick mind to follow along with that beautiful face of his. I may have to make faster advancements to clear up any uncertainly.

I apologize for such an outlandish comment earlier. It was something I has said so off-handedly, that I meant no real harm in it. It seemed very obvious to me that such a style which Ishida-kun carries with himself could only be personally made. I myself have spent hours perfecting my own wardrobe, even though sewing is not quite a strong point. I again apologize for his ruined work though if he can remember- Ishida-kun showed up here already worse-for-wear. Which I have no doubt is the work of that disgusting whore Cirucci Thunderwitch. There is a reason she was such a number as 105- I hope that the Exequias followed out their job properly.

Getting him completely undressed is just one of many goals I have in my sight. It seems only natural being he has already had a grand view of my own body. There is no need to be prude anymore Quincy.

But games are so much more fun, you must lighten up about this situation Ishida-kun and just fulfill your own personal desires.


Don't be so uptight.
- Szayelaporro Grantz

Dear Diary,

It seems I've haven't been taking this little game seriously enough. I might be a "man of science," but I never go out of my way to gather research over my newest 'subjects' without a logical reason. This Shinigami and Quincy that have found their way into my sight may be inferior as I said earlier- but that does not mean they do not hold certain qualities that have caught my eye. I've never had the chance to see a bankai user and the unknown amount of unique powers a Quincy posses is more than enough for me to ignore the notions of inferiority for the time being. That however, will not stop me from killing them all in the end. Those are my orders from Aizen-sama himself. (Though I am hoping he will allow me to keep one alive for further investigation)

Showing off my abilities? The need to release my different forms is only out of personal defense- I am only the Octavo Espada, and I am fully aware of the limit to my own powers and the powers of my opponents. I will not however, lie that I do not enjoy the attention and thrill of this battle so far. It has been far too long since someone as interesting as Ishida-kun has come in front of me. He has proven to be someone difficult win over, and what I must do to receive his attentions in return is still unclear to me. Yet, I also don't think Ishida-kun has such room as to be making statements about showing off; as if he hasn't been running around, attacking from behind and using that Shinigami as bait to show off his own powers that are able to work in the space I created. All useless against me, of course- but how is he doing anything different than I?

Any interpretations of having an inflated ego is just part of my charming charisma, as you should know well by now.

As for my childhood, there is not much to delve into at the moment. My older brother- Ilfort, was a constant companion of mine. Yet his death at the hands of that red-haired man, is of no concern of mine. I could care less for that weakling-brother of mine. He deserved any fate that was handed to him. Revenge can be so tacky and cliché.

But what should I say in reply to these attacks on my person? Deny my superiority over these idiots who have not been so lucky as to be chosen by God himself- Aizen-sama? Maybe releasing my full-form so soon was a poor-decision on my part- which I blame in part of my own impatience over this annoying situation. Even so, there is no doubt in my mind that this will all end in my victory and I will get want I want from Ishida-kun, with no more problems. But an interesting fight will make the prize all that more enjoyable.

It is very amusing to me that Ishida-kun would go as far as to clear up what he so explicitly stated in his last entry. Putting up a chase just intrigues me more- makes me want him more. I must reassure him that what you might think about someone, is not always the truth of the matter. You must take the time to investigate your subject thoroughly before you make such quick statements as deception. Yet as he so poetically stated, nature has a way of tricking us with beauty and it seems it has done the same thing for me with Ishida-kun. I hope he doesn't hold back in his attacks on me, his unwavering spirit excites me so. That is the spirit of a true fighter, that I can never really understand.

I truly did wish he would have had the decency to try and clean himself up during our little intermission. Even though his bloodstained clothes fit so nicely with the future that awaits him.


Szayelaporro
ps. what would ishida-kun smell like had our situation been different? laundry detergent? soap? he seems like the type of man that would have a very natural scent.

Dear Diary,
I must say, I'm not one to take such criticisms as using 'dirty tactics' during battles without some reply. I cannot take such lies and slander on my name lightly. As I told Ishida-kun and those other mindless idiots, I'm not a fighter- but a man of science. I use my knowledge to my advantage to make up for the brute force that I can't achieve, unlike Yammy or that loud-mouth asshole Grimmjow. I never degrade myself to these 'dirty tactics,' I use my creations and powers to ensure victory. Isn't that what every one, including those inferior people like shinigami and quincy, do when they must enter a battle to win? They might fight when there is no hope of survival, but still go on using whatever they must.

But those things are of no true importance to me, right now I wish to get much closer to Ishida-kun- a quincy. If I could only rid myself of the others, so I could have more one-on-one time with him. It was a pleasant surprise that I wasn't the only one caught up in appearances. I take great pride in keeping my physical presentation (my hair, a special note) up to a certain standard. I must agree that capes are a very important accessory. Now if others would agree with me about gloves...

Sincerely,
Szayelaporro Grantz

Dear Diary,
I had the most wonderful experience today. I happened to have a real living and breathing Quincy fall right into my fabulous hands. He is a very interesting creature indeed. And I have to say, he’s the most handsome man I’ve seen in a very long time- Aizen-sama just can’t hold up to the natural beauty that is a young man’s aesthetic. There were three other nobodies hanging around with equally tacky fashion sense, but they are of no concern to me. That boy with the glasses -dressed all white and covered in his own blood and dirt- I want to make him mine. I will go to any lengths to ensure that.

With love and science,
Szayelaporro Grantz