My mother, stepdad and I just talked for about the last two and a half hours or so, about many things; politics (ftw...), my high school, the PEOPLE at my high school, bullies from old schools, the things going on in my school life (particularly with my friends), perfection, America and the world in general, mothers, teenagers, starting your own life, and perhaps a bit about the human psyche, or why we do the things we do.... only to name
a few. And... wow. I will just say, as of right now:
a) I'm sick of crying.
b)I 'm sick of a lot of things, for that matter.
c) I'm glad I DID cry; I feel better.
d) I feel a HELL OF A LOT BETTER about MYSELF as a HUMAN and a FRIEND.
e) It's going to be hard, but talking about it... it can help.
f) I am scared of a lot of things.
g) TIME is a major factor of this. TIME is what takes everything away from me, and I am scared to death of it.
h) GOD, I love EVERYONE in my life. My best friends and my parents are the most important people in the world to me.
i) And, finally, Q. T.I.P. is my new philosophy; it is what I need to start going by
from now on. This I will explain in a bit.
To elaborate...
Another thing I hate/am scared of: confrontation. Speaking out. Speaking out
against someone. Arguing. Losing anything...friend, family, pet; anything.
I'm glad I am the person I am. I could be a hell of a lot prettier, but that's my own fault and WE ALL have our faults. I must learn to accept my own and those of my loved ones. And, quite frankly, I might be accomplishing that... somehow. THERE ARE things that I need to resolve within myself. I need to stop worrying about everything. I need to be stronger; STOP depending on EVERYONE. SOMEDAY I could be ALONE and I will need to
survive ALONE. It is scary, but so very true. Don't worry about what other people think of me... it only hurts. If there's a problem, resolve it. Stop hiding. On the other hand, it's good to get away once and a while... life can be overwhelming. Take a break, wether from people or work... walk it off (Lord knows I need to do more of
that). Talk to someone. Just
get. it. out. Don't bottle it up! That will hurt at some point!
Personal advice for
myself; Q TIP- QUIT taking it PERSONALLY. Every word someone says against me hurts. I need to STOP thinking something is severely wrong with me!
"You attract what you put out." If you worry about something, it is more bound to happen.
"To protect something, put the white light of a candle around it." Protection... something that I want the most for everyone I love. White is pure. My mother could explain this far better than I could. Purity... purity is one of the best things in the world.
ADVICE I have for OTHERS:
Don't get mad. Anger hurts; that's all it does. Aggression is one of the worst things in the world; it will not solve anything. If you need to get something out, talk, write, draw, listen to music, jog, get it out. It is
so good to love everyone. I, myself, have people I truly dislike, or hate, but I will NEVER confront them about it. If they hate me, they need to get over it. I will NOT get involved; it will only make matters worse. DON'T go looking for trouble. Sex is not
that "great"... it is only something sacred. (This goes out to ALL of the teenagers out there.) Abstinence is best... we don't need a higher population(-_-). This is one of the things that are severely wrong with society. Rape, AIDS, prostitution... and this goes hand-in-hand with drugs, and alcohol. They only damage you. Not even YOU, the PEOPLE AROUND YOU. These are the only things that I REALLY DON'T WANT MY LOVED ONES TO GO THROUGH. Not only does it
hurt, it
destroys. This reminds me of self-inflicted pain, denial, or bashing. One of the things I dissaprove of the most. Love yourself. YOU are what YOU have to deal with YOUR WHOLE LIFE. If you don't, other people won't want to. LOVE your family. It can be hard for some people... and some families aren't that great. But they've been there (for the most part, and for some people out there.) throughout your life. It's terrible to let that go... or to hate it. (I can understand getting sick of it, though!!)
Romantic love... is a completely different matter, a complicated matter. You can love anyone in the world (hey, hey, anyone in THE UNIVERSE. That's right, Martians, I'm talking to you.). But...it's probly better you only love
one. .__.;; Bad things can happen to good (or..bad...) people when THAT gets outta control...but we won't go there; I'll save that for another time, when it doesn't hurt so much to talk about love. ;)
As a last word, I will only ask others... accept faults. Acception mends, forms, rekindles... I belive acception is the key... to our survival? Well, the key to living. Living with ourseleves, our problems, our friends, their problems, our families, and there problems. It's so hard to accept, but... you can do it. :)
I LOVE LIVING. It is the best gift! I am so glad for the people around me, they are amazing! Girls (you know who you are), you're the best thing to ever happen to me, I love you. I could DIE from how much I love you! I would die for you!!!
Say 'I love you' A LOT. And mean it! It feels so good for people to hear that. I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!
.......................
...I wish this was a meme or something. I want EVERYONE to do this! I feel f***ing
fantastic now! [[Oh, by the way... don't cuss. Especially in public, around kids, and around parents. Only when it won't hurt people, is it truly okay... Although, curse words are a strange concept. WTF, there words... but somehow, they hurt, so they're not good. I don't particularly like to cuss, but I've gotten so used to it, sadly. *shrugs*]]
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