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Crazy Hakim's Discount Fertilizer
Created on 2008-04-14 22:15:34 (#15375330), last updated 2009-07-13
3,477,671 comments received
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58,094 Journal Entries, 535 Tags, 11 Memories, 34 Virtual Gifts, 15 Userpics
| Name: | ONTD_TWATLIGHT AKA ONTD_SWITZERLAND |
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| Location: | Forks, Washington, United States |
| Membership: | Moderated |
| Posting Access: | All Members |
| Description: | FIGHTING EVIL BY TWATLIGHT WINNING LOVE BY SPARKLING IN A MEADOW |
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| "I had an interesting experience with this movie. I was dragged along to the 'Canadian Premiere' recently somewhere south of Vancouver at a huge movie theater by a girl who works at a bookshop (she got free tickets). Being 22 and from the UK, I've never heard of the Twilight franchise, and had no idea what I was in for. I attended because I wanted some eventual contact with said girl's vagina. Turns out the premiere is not only 100% full of screaming pubescent girls (and awkward-looking parents), but is also preceded by half an hour of an on-stage costume contest where kids are awarded prizes for dressing like characters from the book. Some kid in a wheelchair won and she didn't look shit like a vampire (probably because vampires don't use wheelchairs) I truly enjoyed this film because it was so awful, and i was laughing all the way through, but weirdly enough - all the little girls in the theater laughed when something embarrassingly lame happened. Crappy acting, cheap effects, terrible jokes - they all laughed. Everything that made this a terrible film was lapped up by its target audience. This does not excuse it from being the most mind-numbingly, cringingly awkward movie I have ever seen. If the big reveal at the end of the series is 'all vampires have aspergers' it would not surprise me. After the movie, I said "that was so terrible I need a drink," she agreed, 3 bus rides later and a few vodka cokes, I'm on her bedroom floor, four fingers deep, and she decides to vomit all over my pants. Fuck Twilight." |
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30mph wheelchair, al gore, alice cullen, aro, bacon, bears, being 108 degrees, being a stalkery virgin, being dazzled, being funny, being just 108, bella swan, bella/mike newton, billy black: sex machine, billy/wheelchair, buffy the vampire slayer, carlisle cullen, chuckling, cliff diving, cooking, crackfic, dazzling everyone, diamond placentas, do i dazzle you, double stuff, duran duran, edward cullen, emmett cullen, emo weed, epic, epic fail, epic lulz, esme cullen, fagtu, fail, failtu, failzilla, flesh of the living, forks, fuckingfailtu, gnarlyfucks, guitar hero, hardware store, hobopattz, iron hymen, ivory sweaters, jacob black, jacob/nessie, jakeward, jasper hale, jeffrey dean morgan, keeping charlie alive, la push, laundry, linkin park, liquid topaz eyes, lol ben cheney, lol confederacy, loving everyone, lulz, macros, milk in bags, mormon cockblocking, mountain lions, no one likes bella, not being elitist, not even fucking raining, ohnotheydidnt, paedophilia, pancho meyer, phil collins, pillowpants, renesmee, returning videotapes, rosalie hale, rpattz, running away, sexual frustration, silver volvos, smeyer, smoldering topaz eyes, sous vide, sparkling, sparkling in the sun, spunk ransom, ssx tricky, stephen colbert, stephenie meyer, suck my dick idgaf, sussudio, switzerland, sytycd, topaz eyes, twatchmen, twatfax to yo momma, twilight, twilight prom, vampires, vergina, vulva, waaalt.com, watchmen, werewolves
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