oneurope_live

You sometimes hear of eminent mathematicians who write pages and pages of proof that 1 + 1 = 2. Sir Isaac Newton made a career out of explaining how people who sit under apple trees are likely to get hit on the head by apples.

The latest entry into the pantheon of "Overdetailed proof of the totally bleedin' obvious" comes from someone called zecafonso2000 in Portugal, and concerns the 2008 Festival da Canção. And it's got the word plágio in it, so you already know it's going to be good...

I'm feeling great! I'm just enjoying life, right here in the shade. So get up, get out of bed, all night long, and if your life is like a sad song maybe you should celebrate.

Who writes this stuff?

*I* am still alive - if the rest of this blog could make other assertions - that would be kewl as well!

It's Summer Kiddies ;)

Phil

Remember the eBay auction of one of the Belgian backing singers' stage outfits?

Didn't sell at 100 Euros.

So the poor old duck relisted it with a 50 Euro starting bid.

Still didn't sell.

Awwwww. I feel slightly bad about supporting Belgium now. That really didn't work out well, although they *did* beat Gipsy.cz.

I promise that I'll almost certainly never do it again. :-(

Firstly, there was a very good article in the Cyprus Mail on-line edition recently berating their selection procedure at
http://www.cyprus-mail.com/news/main.php?id=45976&archive=1

Secondly the results of the UK jury and Televote are out at http://www.bbc.co.uk/eurovision and the televote is diaspora-tastic! - Thank the lord for the juries I say!! - even though by their results, they were clearly having too much free BBC hostility!!

The last video I watched was this one:


Before that, this:


Before that, this:


Before *that*, this:


And before *that*, this:


So that's pretty much how my mind works, there. They say of the Acropolis where the Parthenon is...

Well apparently we couldn't have one between May 1 and May 17 cos you lot wanted servicing (ooh-er) so we are going to take June off!

Now the site says that we are going for a new look - in fact, we aren't. I was considering it - but decided to tinker with how things look on the site as opposed to a complete new look - the mantra of KISS (Keep it simple, stupid) comes to mind and am going to try and put more pics and vids and stuff up. Am also going to try and update more often. Content, they say, is key!!

The blog, too, will be updated more often. I'm gonna try and speak to Nick to see if he is willing to write a bit more on here and, this time, I might even contribute more - but it's gonna need YOU to help us...

Any links that you need adding to our new links section - mail me at oneurope@ntlworld.com and I can stick them up in the next update on July 1st.

More pics, more vids, more blog - can you ask for more?

Phil

Both of these have been reported by posters on the ESCNation messageboard since the show ended - I haven't tried to verify either, but if they're true expect tons of bricks to be falling on certain people.

* During the televoting in Azerbaijan, the lines were closed for Armenian song and there were no number to vote written on the screens for Armenian song during the recap.

* Did you guys know that the French commentators interviewed Patricia Kaas during 2 minutes of the Moldovan song! We literally couldn't hear the song properly until near the end of the performance.

If either are true, that's just not on; the allegation against the Azeris particularly is very serious indeed, and *if* it's proven to be correct, it makes me think they shouldn't be allowed to take part in the competition because they Just Don't Get It.

I'll end this post on a positive, though - Graham Norton as new UK commentator. Breath of fresh air, right up there with Wogan in his 1980s heyday - and it was almost miraculously good to have every second of every song uncontaminated by commentary. We'll have him back next year, thanks Auntie!

Heck, leave as many comments as you like! We need the content... :-)

No liveblog tonight, I've been optimising my resources to provide a better service to YOU and something had to get downsized. Nah, seriously, it was immense fun on Tuesday and Thursday, but I couldn't help but think I was looking at my laptop screen instead of the TV screen for far too much of the time. This is my night.

If you win tonight, well done! If you go close to winning tonight but just miss out, still well done, because there are going to be MIGHTY songs in the top 5. If you have a disappointing night tonight, come back next year and well done for being in the final. If you come last tonight... remember that you don't have to be "bad" to come last in the Saturday show anymore. If you didn't even make it to tonight's show, thanks for sticking around because that's the true Eurovision spirit and you can enjoy the show without pressure.

And if you're in Qatar... well, it's a lovely idea, but I think there's an Asiavision contest in preparation which will be more your thing...

Keep a close eye on euurovision.tv tonight, because that's the first place you'll see all the detailed results of the semi-finals and tonight's voting. And THAT will give us something to talk about!

Good Evening...

As one sits here at this time of common joy I tend to think of those that are sadly missed...

Chig, NickD, Julie - You are with us in our hearts, if not our minds...

One's thoughts turn to the Eurovision Song Contest which takes place this evening - I am reminded that Europe will choose it's best song this evening.....
(or failing that, Norway)

On a serious note.... Thank you for visiting, including the smart arse who said we were more like Standby Europe as opposed to ON Europe ( Cheeky feck - we are on holiday too you know - as you rightly pointed out before trampling over my dreams, YOU BASTARD!!!).. We should have gained about 5-6% readership on last year - so go us!!

My thanks also go to Catherine and Roy and Franko for actually doing the work that you like (as I know I can't write for shite!!) and a special shout out for Deller, who has been missed and will be in Oslo/Stockport/Kyiv next year!

Have a good night tonight whatever you are doing and wherever you are watching it from and, again, Thanks for visiting!!

PhilC

Kicking a piece of leather over grass has oft been associated with our favourite international relations music event from the fact that Eurovision Saturday always used to coincide with the day of the FA Cup to the proximity of both UEFA Cup final and Champions League to Euro week. We at On Europe and our many friends have also been know to partake of the appreciation of the sport in whatever country is unfortunate enough to be hosting the clearly bigger musical event. In Turkey in 2004 waving a Ukrainian flag everywhere for Ruslana confused the locals as they were the same colours as the Fenebace strip. Both Ruslana and Fenebace triumphed that year.

Back in 2005 we debuted our football search by watching Dynamo Kiev. Their real ground was undergoing serious renovations so they moved their match to a scabby looking affair next to the Eurovision venue with stone seats covered in pigeon poo. We did as the locals and sat on newspaper watching them eat poppy seeds. The venue can't have been more than a quarter full but Kiev obliged with a win. Greenjolly fell on their arses whilst the Greeks romped home.

I passed in 2006 as one big Greek fest was enough for me in one year, but Roy got himself into a couple of matches featuring local teams. Nuts from all accounts, but hardly as nuts as what was taking place in the ice hockey stadium. Lordi proved that Finland didn't need friends to win.

In 2007 possibly the most bizarre of all, Finnish premier league football. Two sides apparently of good merit met in a "stadium" in the middle of a forest in the middle of nowhere. The "pitch" was really a patch of grass and the play was more Sunday knock around in the park than serious football. Half time refreshments were provided courtesy of a tea urn on a table and the weather being typically Finnish was miserable and wet. Verka Seducka managed to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory and lost to a Serbian Velma lookalike who proved you don't have to be beautiful to win.

2009 and off to Locomotive Moscow this afternoon. The ground has a big train in it and the opposition Terek Grozny from Chechnya have all of 25 fans cowering in a lowly corner. The home team have several thousand. The match begins with fireworks (well there had to be some excitement) and the unfortunate Chechens were outgunned on the pitch as well losing 4-0. I feel for them as my team have undergone several such humiliating experiences this season.

And so onto the biggest football match of all tonight with 25 teams. Traditionally a high scoring fixture. The record number of goals was 292 for Finlandia Lordi back in 2006. Tonights front runners are Rybak Norway, Kass Francais, Laboda Kiev and Ewen United. Outsiders are Regina Bosnie and Greco Rouvas. It will probably be a high scoring fixture and there's bound to be a few fouls along the way.

May the best team win!

In No particular order.

Norway - Well it *has* to be in the top 5 doesn't it?? - The bookies say it must, the fans say it must - but then again, *is* it the kind of thing the juries and televoters like... You would think that this would be the top 1 - but it's not a done deal.

UK - Yes, this song has its failings - but it also has its strengths. Finally a UK entry to be proud of!

France - This has been a revelation for me!! - I just stare at the screen, or at the stage - and stare, and stare... Patricia is Mesmeric!!

Greece - God I hate this song.... But I can see why this will end up top 5 - It has populist appeal ( damn the public!!)

Ukraine - This is a mess visually, but Europe aren't going to vote against a pretty woman and scantilly clad men are they?!!

The big prediction. 25 songs, 25 different numbered final placings, and no questions - except one. You haven't actually watched Deal Or No Deal since 2007, have you?

25th - SPAIN. Because I've spent all day unfairly sticking the boot into Spain just because RTVE are a little bit inept and I may as well carry on. No other reason.

24th - GERMANY. Because Dita von Teese is comically pointless if she's not allowed to get her norks out.

23rd - ROMANIA. Because it's utterly dead in the water in that draw slot, and wasn't that good in the first place.

22nd - MALTA. Because one of the ballads just plain *has* to die horribly on the scoreboard, and it might as well be this one.

21st - SWEDEN. Because 46 points is a 21st place kind of score.

20th - ALBANIA. Because it's after Turkey and before Norway and midgets are easily overshadowed.

19th - ICELAND. Because it's the 724th slow song in a row, and half of Europe didn't see the first semifinal.

18th - CROATIA. Because it's the 722nd slow song in a row, and Andrea still didn't get the memo about dress code.

17th - DENMARK. Because Europe hates Irish people, so I gather.

16th - ISRAEL. Because Draw Slot 2 is still cursed.

15th - MOLDOVA. Because they stopped me getting 10/10 in the second Serviette of Death and I therefore hate them.

14th - PORTUGAL. Because it's really quite nice enough... yeah.

13th - LITHUANIA. Because there are really quite a lot of slow songs at the start of the contest.

12th - BOSNIA-HERZEGOVINA. Because it's scarcely going to score a point west of the Alps.

11th - RUSSIA. Because they don't want to win it again, and would you want to argue with Prihodko and Putin?

10th - FINLAND. Because there's nothing remotely like it in the final, it has a superb draw, and their only good performance so far in Moscow came when it mattered.

9th - ESTONIA. Because it's the right song at the wrong time.

7th= - AZERBAIJAN. Because it would be a great two minute song and Aysel and/or Arash can't sing for toffee, apparently.

7th= - ARMENIA. Because nothing will p*ss the pair of them off quite as much as finishing tied for position.

6th - UKRAINE. Because I win money if it comes in the top 3 (ignoring Norway and Greece).

5th - UNITED KINGDOM OF STUFF. Because all the fates are conspiring in its favour and Lord LW must be wishing he'd actually spent a bit more of his time on writing the song.

4th - FRANCE. Because I had to place Ukraine 6th for the sake of a cheap laugh.

3rd - GREECE. Because someone has to be third, and it might as well be Sakis.

2nd - TURKEY. Because 100 million people will text their mate during Germany to say "You want to see this mad woman with her norks out!". And by the time they actually turn the telly to the right channel, they'll be watching Hadise and will think "Oj, I must have missed the norks. I shall vote for this in order that I get to see some reprise norks later on".

1st - NORWAY. Because Keith and the bookmakers haven't been significantly wrong about the ESC winner for well over a year.


So there you go. You don't need to watch it now! Unless you want to, obviously.

Seeing as you did so well in the two semis, we're after one last set of predictions from you. And they are this...

Who do you think will make up the top three - in order - and who will come plumb last? This one's going to be a little trickier - but we trust you to get near the real result. So for the last time of asking - c'mon, let's be having you!

Well would you believe it... 23 of you voted, and while not one of you got the full ten, your accumulated votes actually picked out the complete top ten!

Good work!

Every one of you picked Greece, Norway, Ukraine and, rather surprisingly, Moldova, and most of you had Azerbaijan, Estonia and Albania on your lists.

As far as the suspected jury vote, it was a pretty even spread between Denmark, Ukraine and Croatia - although a couple of you reckoned Norway were the saved nation.

And rather heart-warmingly, every country got at least two votes - even Ireland, Slovakia and Poland!

Nice work, you kids!

Back by popular demand apparently. Forgive my radio silence the last couple of days but I've been rehearsal bound and also had a day off yesterday to go to the Cosmonaut museum. So not much online time and we do all work quite hard over here in the land of Eurovisionia and do occasionally need a bit of time off. Two and half weeks is quite intense, if fun a lot of the time.

So back to the cosmonaut museum and a case of ooh you've got a big rocket there. Very nice but once you've seen all the dried food stuffs and been in the shuttle cabin there's not that much to see. Worth the 100 roubles entry fee though and something you're probably not going to see many times in your life.

Surrounding the museum is a park so bizarre that it beggars description. Full of buildings and monuments that are completely different to each other. Nothing in this park fits in with anything else there. There are what look like Soviet monuments and buildings sitting side by side with portakabins and bars. A lake with stone swans nestles in the middle. It's like someone picked something from every town in Russia and decided to put them all in one place. The Soviet monument has a door. We go in and surprised that it's actually a mini shopping mall where you can buy oversized Russian mugs and pants with hammers and sickles on them. Well it beats union jack boxers I guess though I'd probably be quite choosy about who I showed my hammer and sickle to...

The evening was taken up with a slightly more traditional Russian restaurant than we've been used to where one can enjoy the delights of bear and elk ravioli and fried pig's ears. Hmm tempting but I opted for "beef in a frying pan with firm meat sauce" basically a kind of ghoulash in a sizzling plate and very delicious. To accompany I'd ordered stewed cabbage with bacon but our dear waitress misunderstood and brought me spinach tart which was somewhat blander than I was looking forward to. Nice restaurant though and had I been here longer I'd have been tempted to revisit.

You've all heard our adventures with the chilli spirit which apparently was not vodka after all. The taste was so bad, that it was impossible to tell anyway. We did however try the unique pine cone flavour vodka and catkin vodka. I'm not quite sure how to describe these substances but it wouldn't be positive if I could fine the words. After several of these we are so drunk that we down the rest of the bottle of the chilli substance. The chilli hits first and then a pain I can't describe spreads downwards in my body and doubles me up in agony. It's hard to imagine why anyone would drink something like this for pleasure. We have an antidote for all of this in the shape of a large gateau. Cutting it open it's full of seeds and looks like something they would have made for Petra on Blue Peter or perhaps hung from a tree for passing birds. It tastes amazing though.

And so back to the music. I don't propose to review the dress rehearsal for the final. Others have done this in their droves and there's only so many accounts of the same thing you can read. There are some good performances and some not so good. You all have your own favourites and nothing I say is going to change that no matter how unrealistic some of them are :-)

If I don't get the chance to tune in again before the contest, I'd just like to wish you all a happy Eurovision and to thank you for your loyal readership these past two weeks which gives us a reason to be here. May you all get the result that you deserve :-)

I'm off for another exciting night playing Scrabble, because the drama and tension from Moscow just isn't enough to keep me going any longer. :-)

Let's see if any more interesting Eurovisual stories break while I'm away... back tomorrow, maybe even late tonight!

[EDIT - The blog in question has now removed the details of the Spanish jury vote last night, which is a strong indicator that they were accurate. I've kept the version that was online as at 15:05 UK time on here though.

Babblefish translation of Jury Chairman's blog

( In full, under here )

And in the original Spanish...

( Reproduced in full, once again, without permission )

What are they doing? Are rules only for poor people or something??? You show the semi-final you're allocated to, you show it live, you stage a televote unless there's a massive technical breakdown, and then you keep your results confidential until after the final.

It's NOT rocket science, surely?

1606 - Spain. This is a contender to finish in the bottom 5 if not the bottom one. The Introduction has been slowed down and Soraya clearly can not sing this song and is in all kinds of trouble with this dog of a song....

1603 - Finland - Screechy and Out of Tune - Horrific.

1558 - UK of Stuff. ALW needs to stop gurning at the camera and actually look like he loves the song.... However, having said that it was a good performance of the song but, and it is a big but, The focus of those camera shots need to be of Jade and NOT of him. It was only a rehearsal and she did sing it well... All being well it should still be top 10 and possibly Top 5 - but NOT with that performance.

1554 - United Kingdom - There is a break for no reason!!! ;)

1551 - It's those Bolton Girls again.... This looks a right load of shite on this bit of the contest to be honest. It probably got through by right in the semi final but I think I have been knocked for six by a show of nipple. And so was Elena because she fell over!! - Too much Bolton Drink?!

1547 - Ukraine. After Germany this now doesn't have the impact that it had last night - and yet it's still in with a shout but the camera work needs some sort of improvment. There are too many long shots but it is still one of the best things that is in this contest and with better camera work it will do very well.

1544 - Presenter break to get the Ukraine's Hell Machine on stage!!!

1542 - Norway. It has taken him 2 weeks to grow some stubble - but he needs a shave. Being a stage school protege he knows when to turn the charm on and he does that when the camera is on him. I do feel that he was a bit shouty when he first came on stage and there is a look about him as through he is getting bored of his own song. He too is a little off key but it isn't a stand out performance that he needs to win the contest.

1538 - Albania. This performance was very bad and off key, she's probably stunned about Dita as well!!..... She needs to get it together in order to make sure she gets the top 10 finish she deserves!!

1535 - eeeerm... OH YES, Turkey. I feel violated BUT if Germany do something like that, then This one is dead as well because by the time Europe have calmed down this song is half way done. You can almost imagine TRT's phone call to Svante can't you....

1529 - Germany. This is still all kinds of wrong. Alex is wearing the tightest silver trousers you have ever seen and lots of chains around his arms and it just looks daft! and then "she" appears. And strips and nipples are shown. There are gasps of NOOOOO in the press centre!! This will not be the perfomance you will be seeing in 36 hours. Remember the performance can not bring the contest into disrepute!!

1524 - Denmark. Estonia may well have killed this one stone dead as well. Mr Bland gives this one the performance that you all expect and demand from this song - but I feel that he will give nothing extra which is the problem in the final. I suspect that he will not be able to take this song up another notch which it needs to get through to the higher places on the scoreboard.

1521 - Estonia. This is gonna kill Malta STONE DEAD. The first 5 notes were haunting and straight on key. Another dark set for this - but hell fire its a well performed simple song that should be coming in the top 10 if there is any justice and sense in this world. Welcome back to the Final ERR!! ;)

1520 - Malta. Une web problem technique for us there - Malta was sooo off key it hurt my ears.. Sorry Love, Bottom 10 with that one.

1513 - Moldova. Loud and brash contrast after the faux party line of Bosnia. And this might help it though, technically, everything after a break is dead in the water... But maybe Nelly knows something that we dont!!. It does, however, fail to capture my attention which is also a worry!

1512 - Some sort of break me thinks! - but not sure!!

1508 - Bosnia and Herzegovina. This just bores me now. It is still a very good song and has all the usual elements that it had to start with - but I feel coming this middling in the draw is going to work against it - especially with the big guns to come, this could well get forgotten. Performance wise nothing has change but its now just unmemorable.

1504 - Azerbaijan. Oh dear god - The introduction came on and then he almost MURDERED the first note of the song - a palpable "oooooh" came up from our table - and then it just got worse. They have mugged the life out of all the notes in this song - I know its a rehearsal but this neds to get a whole lot better in a hurry and they need to remember which notes to hit otherwise this is doomed!

1500 - There should be Song 11 here - but there is a breakdown it appears!!

1456 - Russia. The 2nd of the ex-Soviet trio in this bit. The home town entry contrasts the 2 that have come before it but in a bad way. This now sounds all shades of wrong and the camera really does put weight on you from the wrong camera angles. It has Glenis Grace written all over it in terms of staging, vocals and results. Whereas in the UK entry it's all about me - in this one there is too much her and not enough song!! - And the ageing version of her in the background is really freaking me out!!

1452 - Armenia. Take note Sakis, this is how a decent song should be performed and staged. They dont do anything they didn't do in the semi final but the combination of ethnicity and another goddamn blue stage set and dancing will mean that the quality of this song which again was performed perfectly will shine through against the overblown self hype of Sakis and his "machine".

1448 - Greece. Even though I don't like the song - It has to be respected for what it is. It is a very big star strutting his stuff across the stage. Beyond that, however, It still looks messy with lots of very bad dancing and, as has been mentioned before, Alex Panayi actually singing the song off camera for Sakis - AGAIN. This will pick up votes from the usual quarters - but It is not going to be anywhere near enough. It is a one trick pony.

1444 - Iceland. 2 Nice songs together, however, could well cancel themselves out - and I fear that this is the case. Johanna is still nailing this song after a shaky start at the start of the week. This is miles better than the one before it - and miles better than the shite that comes after it, It is one of the 3 stand outs of the first quarter along with France and Portugal. This must be put back into contention for a top 10 - they all look and sound spot on - huzzah!

1441 - Portugal. RTP must have been having a collective heart attack when they got through for 2 years in a row. This one though gets through on it's own merit. It stands out in this draw for the same reason that it did in the semi final. It's a nice simple song sung well... She doesn't over sing the song - she doesn't over sell the song and after Sweden and Croatia this may well mop up scores from all over the place. There are no bad notes and the performance is very good indeed!!

1436 - Croatia. This song will have the effect of the nice simple song following the overblown hideousness of Sweden. He sounds very bass heavy and slightly off key and her wailing isn't helping. BUT, it has plenty of friends and plenty of people that will like this kind of thing.

1433 - Sweden. From the sublime to the stupid. Malena is all sorts of wrong after that performace. She looks totally out of place in this contest. I suspect that the Juries have saved her once, but they surely can not save her. On the screen it still looks awful and that 500,000 Euro dress has changed slightly but overall - it has no effect other than going "hahahahah" after France.

1430 - France. She's got me doing it again - She has me mesmorised on the screen - I cant take my eyes off it. Wearing a blue dress on a dark background and in ONE spotlight it is a very simple performance of a very complex and lovely song, sung by someone that knows what she is doing. this will suffer from being early on - but, by god, after the 2 that have gone before and the one that it is to follow - there is a hell of a lot to like about this... Is it too difficult for the televoting public to understand??

1425 - Israel. The draw has conspired against this song if I am honest. I dont think that Noa and Mira will be doin cartwheels. Again, however they forgvet the first notes of their own song - clearly written in a key they cant get. However, the song builds as usual but there are just too many shaky moments in this song to get it remembered or even voted for. It is cynical and sacharin coated and that will not help it in this company. This is stone dead at the bottom reaches of the scoreboard!

1421 - Still waiting - They may be running through the start again - and then there was the Postcard so hopefully we'll get a song, which we do. This song still has too many words for me - but it was lots better last night than it was previously. Sasha still performs the song well, and looks like a performer that believes what he sings. However, after the start which whets the pallette and then the fact that this is at the beginning of the contest means that it may well be forgotten. That is not to say it is a bad song, because it isn't.

1419 - Lithuania. Very long technical pause before the song starts.

1415 - And then the presenters appear after a short pause! - Alsou has borrowed Malene's dress and has dyed it Yellow. Thankfully they explain 50-50 and Alsou's French is fabulous.

1409 - Well we have a start!! - Lots of Matrioskas on stange and dancing and Cirque du Soleil Dancing - followed by Dima singing the winning song in remix having been brought down from the ceiling on a harness then stripping off and diving through walls and all sorts of things on a treadmill - all of which is suspended above the stage. I have not seen anything like it!

1403 - They are late starting - as you would expect!

1352 - Well I decided at short notice am doing the rehearsal blog. Keep refreshing!!!!

(All times shown are in Moscow time)

All Participating Broadcasters presenting a song in a Semi-Final are obliged to implement the televoting system for that Semi-Final. The five Participating Broadcasters with guaranteed places in the Grand Final shall also implement the televoting system for the Semi-Final which they are required to broadcast. All Participating Broadcasters are obliged to implement the televoting system for the Grand Final.

Each Participating Broadcaster shall appoint a National Jury whose votes shall be used in case of a technical or similar failure in the televoting procedure and for determining the ranking of the songs in the Grand Final as per a calculation method to be decided upon by the Reference Group and communicated during the meeting of the Heads of Delegation. The EBU Executive Supervisor shall decide during the Semi-Finals whether the National Jury votes will be used. In particular, the EBU Executive Supervisor may decide to use such votes in a given country if an insufficient number of calls has been registered in that country.

If a dispensation is requested by 1 January 2009, the Reference Group may make an exception to the compulsory televoting rule and may allow 100 % of the voting by the national jury in accordance with the rules mentioned in Appendix 4.

From the Rules of the 2009 Eurovision Song Contest

RTVE appears to have a case to answer. I wonder if the official sanction is "Well, don't do it again!" as it has tended to be in the past. :-)

Leave a comment. G'wan g'wan g'wan, just a little one. You won't even know you've typed it. :-)

19th - IRELAND. Some years, you just feel that all the fates are against you, and everything's going horribly wrong for the Irish. (Well, it WAS anyway. Apparently final rehearsal went well, but I'm not changing my mind now!) Maybe Denmark will toss a couple of token points Stina's way, but that's about all.

18th - SLOVAKIA. Neither the Czechs nor the Slovaks back in the last century ever got any real toehold in this contest. This isn't a good song either, and is unlikely to make double figures.

17th - SLOVENIA. The poor relation of the ex-Yugoslavia (or possibly the unpopular rich relation, I'm not sure which). What little vocals there are in this are being done badly, and the saving grace of a rather attractive girl on stage is negated by keeping her in silhouette for 75% of the time.

16th - CYPRUS. I'm willing to be surprised by this one. Obviously it'll get at least 12 points, which is probably enough to get it to 16th. It might get more with a following wind, and there's a ghost of a chance that the juries will like the song and turn a deaf ear to the fragile singer.

15th - POLAND. A dull song, potentially the worst singing of the semi-final, and on a notes hit percentage maybe even worse than the Blulgars on Tuesday. However, Ireland, Lithuania and Ukraine are voting in this semi.

14th - LATVIA. Bit of a confusing mess, which could all the same sneak through a gap into an envelope. Good points to come from Russia, the Baltic neighbours and Ireland, but maybe not so many others.

13th - HUNGARY. Deen without the song. Hungary's quite capable of finishing a fair bit lower than 13th, but there are probably 4s and 5s to come here and there for the fella.

12th - NETHERLANDS. The worst thing in this year's contest, or at least it should be. But as the bloggers seem to be slightly warming to it, I'll follow suit.

11th - MOLDOVA. Tenth, really. But you know what them jurors are like. They're all suckers for anything even slightly ballad-shaped. You just need to ask Maribelle and Franco Battiato about *that* one.

- - - -

10th - LITHUANIA. Nice ballad, good arrangement, Sasha does the job well enough, and the juries will be impressed. The televoters will *nearly* be impressed enough themselves.

9th - CROATIA. It just *feels* like the kind of song that comes 9th in a semifinal.

8th - ALBANIA. The combination of midget dancers and the Raston Warrior Robot is virtually irresistably silly. And the song's OK, even if Kejsi's not quite up to the task.

7th - DENMARK. Deserves worse. Sounds like something Ronan Keating knocked up in a tea-break, and it probably is. Nevertheless, it's the kind of thing that Denmark is normally appreciated for.

6th - SERBIA. Yes, yes, I *know*. It's Leto Svet with a flag transplant. But Leto Svet was massively underappreciated, and I remain unanimous in this.

5th - UKRAINE. Could be higher than 5th, though I'm not so sure it deserves to be. Svetlana is clearly Silvia Night with a flag transplant, but even Silvia *nearly* qualified when it was a much harder task than this.

4th - ESTONIA. Because, frankly, who else is a neutral observer who likes a slow song going to vote for?

3rd - AZERBAIJAN. Because it's a good enough song, and well enough performed, and could bank quite a few 10s and 12s even if they sent a flatulent nun on roller skates. Note to AzTV and ITV - this is not a recommendation.

2nd - NORWAY. Because he's not actually all that interested in winning the semifinal. Friday night and Saturday night are where the big performances are needed.

1st - GREECE. This is his night. Saturday might not be, mind.

I'm guaranteed at least 1 out of 10 this time, and I'm pretty confident of at least 3. :-)

Flushed with success from Tuesday Evening's 8/10 - I now try and win the goddam Serviette of Death Prize by entering the following as the 10 qualifiers :

Ukraine
Greece
Norway
Denmark
Estonia
The Netherlands
Azerbaijan
Moldova
Croatia
Lithuania

I am suspecting I only have scored 7/10 here at best though ;o(

But for Serviette purposes - that's SERVIETTE, note, and not "napkin", because we do like to maintain a certain level of standards and class at OnEurope, as you should fscking well know by now - these are my 10 to da qualifying in performance order

Croatia, Serbia, Norway, Denmark, Azerbaijan, Greece, Lithuania, Albania, Ukraine, Estonia. The jury pick is Lithuania.

Keen-eyed readers will recall seeing that list somewhere before. It seems to be as good a way as any of making a selection, and considerably better than trusting my personal judgement! :-)

We've be hearing that, in the UK at least, they didn't show the interval act, instead preferring to show our Paddy having a chat. This is a dang shame because it was one of the best things I've ever seen - although being a massive fan of both Russian choirs and t.A.T.u. that was perhaps a given.

So if you've not seen it, or would just like to relive the marvellous moment, here tis...