Elizabeth ([info]ecctv) wrote in [info]ohnotheydidnt,
@ 2009-11-07 01:28:00
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Entry tags:epic post, jon and kate

Kate loves Long John Silvers


An Illinois prisoner claims his swimmers are responsible for Kate Gosselin's eight AND Octomom Nadya Suleman's latest litter ... and now he wants his supposed spawn to come live with him in lockdown.

In the most entertaining handwritten court papers you'll ever read, Jonathan Lee Riches -- who has filed many lawsuits against celebs in the past -- wants custody of the Gosselin kids, the Suleman kids, John Edwards' love child, all the kids on "ABC's 'All My Children'" and Bristol Palin's child "which Bristol kidnapped from Linda Tripp."

In the awesome papers, filed in Illinois, Riches claims he met Kate "at a Harrisburg Long John Silvers over octopuss" -- and when Kate went to a fertility clinic in 2002, his "sperm was added to the mix."

More awesome lines included in the papers:

-- "TLC stands for Torturing Little Children."

-- "Jon Gosselin is really a woman on steroids."

-- "I sued Black History Month."

http://www.tmz.com/2009/11/07/prisoner-i-impregnated-kate-g-and-octomom-wknd/


I, for one, believe him. Good luck, Mr. Riches.




More on Jonathan Riches:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jonathan_Lee_Riches



I wonder what [info]gingerslam2 has to say about this.



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(430 comments) - (Post a new comment)


[info]etymolology
2009-11-07 07:33 am UTC (link)
holy shit
what?

(Reply to this)


[info]curiouslinh
2009-11-07 07:33 am UTC (link)
wtf

(Reply to this)


[info]magwildwood
2009-11-07 07:33 am UTC (link)
lol @ i sued black history month.

this guy sure is classy, intelligent, sensible and stable.

(Reply to this)


[info]jjuunniiee
2009-11-07 07:34 am UTC (link)
Ahahahaaahahaahhahahahaha I'm too fucking drunk for this shit.

(Reply to this)


[info]likegunfire
2009-11-07 07:34 am UTC (link)
how does he even begin

(Reply to this)


[info]ibelieveinlove
2009-11-07 07:34 am UTC (link)
lmfao
wow.
could you even imagine if there was one ounce of truth to this guy

(Reply to this)


[info]rafz20
2009-11-07 07:34 am UTC (link)
This is the best post ever...A+ use of classy flag gif.

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]ecctv
2009-11-07 07:35 am UTC (link)

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)(Expand)

(no subject) - [info]amadeo, 2009-11-07 05:02 pm UTC (Expand)

[info]sarahbo_bara
2009-11-07 07:34 am UTC (link)
lol @ his "sperm was added to the mix."

like it's salt or something

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]ibelieveinlove
2009-11-07 07:42 am UTC (link)
add a dash of sperm and BAM

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)(Expand)

(no subject) - [info]gwagwagwa, 2009-11-07 09:03 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]whutzer_face, 2009-11-07 12:50 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]roxiful, 2009-11-07 03:14 pm UTC (Expand)

[info]allhopelost88
2009-11-07 07:34 am UTC (link)
what a fine, upstanding young gentleman

(Reply to this)


[info]dissention_1
2009-11-07 07:34 am UTC (link)
and Bristol Palin's child "which Bristol kidnapped from Linda Tripp."

LMAO OMG HAHAHAHAHAHA

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]shanny_w
2009-11-07 07:55 am UTC (link)

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)(Expand)

(no subject) - [info]dissention_1, 2009-11-07 08:11 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]call_me_cash, 2009-11-07 08:49 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]rosieisriveting, 2009-11-07 02:23 pm UTC (Expand)

[info]prettiwaste
2009-11-07 07:34 am UTC (link)
LMAO

(Reply to this)


[info]amelia_heinle
2009-11-07 07:34 am UTC (link)
His projected release date is March 23, 2012

omg

i only have 2.5 yrs to plan our wedding.

Edited at 2009-11-07 07:37 am UTC

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]ibelieveinlove
2009-11-07 07:42 am UTC (link)
get crackin gurrrrrrrrrl
lol we should all write him

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)(Expand)

(no subject) - [info]amelia_heinle, 2009-11-07 07:44 am UTC (Expand)

(Deleted post)

[info]sillycucumber
2009-11-07 09:52 am UTC (link)
lol

(Reply to this) (Parent)

(no subject) - [info]amadeo, 2009-11-07 05:02 pm UTC (Expand)

[info]flowerings
2009-11-07 07:35 am UTC (link)
...

(Reply to this)


[info]sarahbo_bara
2009-11-07 07:35 am UTC (link)
if this man was ACTUALLY responsible for jon&kate AND OCTOMOM, then he should be on death row.

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]juunanagou18
2009-11-07 07:37 am UTC (link)
LOL irl

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]ilurveyoohoos
2009-11-07 07:35 am UTC (link)
.... SUUURE....

(Reply to this)


[info]ajulysuicide
2009-11-07 07:35 am UTC (link)
hahahaha. what a troll, but lol forever.

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]haverchuck_bill
2009-11-07 12:59 pm UTC (link)
I guess prison is boring.

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]gingerslam2
2009-11-07 07:35 am UTC (link)
I JSUT AWANA SAY

LIZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ IS EBST IN THE WOWLD AUD I'AM FGITH YOU IF YOU SAWY NO


SHE IS EBEAUTUFILLLLLL


UMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM & THATS WALL

(Reply to this) (Thread)(Expand)


[info]ecctv
2009-11-07 07:36 am UTC (link)
how you doin!!!! are you gonna get that towel from that show you love so much. with the penis

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)(Expand)

(no subject) - [info]gingerslam2, 2009-11-07 07:37 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]ecctv, 2009-11-07 07:38 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]gingerslam2, 2009-11-07 07:42 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]ecctv, 2009-11-07 07:43 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]gingerslam2, 2009-11-07 07:47 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]ecctv, 2009-11-07 07:49 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]gingerslam2, 2009-11-07 07:54 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]zoppity, 2009-11-07 07:37 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]ecctv, 2009-11-07 07:37 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]zoppity, 2009-11-07 07:38 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]lachica2000, 2009-11-07 07:39 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]zoppity, 2009-11-07 07:42 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]lachica2000, 2009-11-07 07:44 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]zoppity, 2009-11-07 07:52 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]gingerslam2, 2009-11-07 07:43 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]lachica2000, 2009-11-07 07:46 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]gingerslam2, 2009-11-07 07:50 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]lachica2000, 2009-11-07 07:53 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]gingerslam2, 2009-11-07 07:55 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]lachica2000, 2009-11-07 08:02 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]gingerslam2, 2009-11-07 08:06 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]marmar627, 2009-11-07 08:45 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]itsjoelle, 2009-11-07 09:02 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]ogiraffe, 2009-11-07 10:37 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]michelleantonia, 2009-11-07 10:52 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]hoot, 2009-11-07 03:33 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]luvherbones, 2009-11-07 04:07 pm UTC (Expand)

[info]averypartofme
2009-11-07 07:35 am UTC (link)
~classy

(Reply to this)


[info]pharmacists
2009-11-07 07:35 am UTC (link)
those are some potent fucking swimmers

(Reply to this)


[info]christini_smith
2009-11-07 07:35 am UTC (link)
lol, just... LOL

(Reply to this)


[info]1sugarplumfairy
2009-11-07 07:35 am UTC (link)
Photobucket

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]kikkai
2009-11-07 07:37 am UTC (link)
love this icon.

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]rhapsodeeinblue
2009-11-07 07:36 am UTC (link)
wants custody of the Gosselin kids, the Suleman kids, John Edwards' love child, all the kids on "ABC's 'All My Children'" and Bristol Palin's child "which Bristol kidnapped from Linda Tripp."

This is amazing.

(Reply to this)


[info]youcantfoolus
2009-11-07 07:36 am UTC (link)
i love this post

(Reply to this)


[info]kikkai
2009-11-07 07:36 am UTC (link)
All My Children? wtf?

(Reply to this)


(430 comments) - (Post a new comment)

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