silver's good enough for me (![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} stellawuzadiver) wrote in ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/community.gif){kind=small} ohnotheydidnt,@ 2009-10-16 18:30:00 |
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| Current music: | I twitch and I salivate like with Myxomatosis |
| Entry tags: | blind item |
Blind Vice: Lloyd Boy-Toyed Dares to Be Outed!
Good news: Ever since Toothy Tile decided to permanently bury himself in the proverbial Hollywood closet, it's almost as if Lloyd Boy-Toyed has decided to up his bent for dangerous, risk-taking sexual activities. No, not talkin' about getting it on without a condom—or in a car in a West Hollywood parking lot—but something almost as rebelliously mindless: like hitting on a reporter.
Now, even though Lloyd has always had a penchant for doing things like...
...getting his flirt on with other dudes—even with Toothy himself at the Globes, remember?—Lloyd's reserved his guy-on-guy action for behind closed doors, even if he paid for it.
I mean, let's just say up until now, the riskiest thing Lloyd's ever pulled is wondering if the call-boys will tattle or not. Strange he's not like some bigass stars who insist on confidentiality agreements with their mates (whether hired or not) before jumping between the sheets.
But now Lloyd's taken it to the next level and propositioned a pretty well-known reporter, who's interested. And the code was clear: Said hit-on dude was expected—not told—not to tell. It was a gamble. Will it pay off?
Isn't it odd how the older certain stars get, they simply don't seem to be as interested in the watery, come-on games such stealth gay players as Crotch Uh-Lastic prefer. Does that mean with age comes impatience? Or just lack of imagination?
Tough call, really, because if you ask me, it's pretty lively to ask a journo—who could blow your cover in seconds flat—to get it on. Maybe this is the kinkiest way of them all and Crotch and Toothy (ah, poor Toothy) should be taking notes?
Time will tell on this one.
And it Ain't: Dean Cain, Billy Burke, George Clooney
Previously excluded: Aaron Eckhart, David Duchovny, John Mayer, John Travolta, Jon Voight, Kanye West, Matthew Perry, and Ralph Fiennes.
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(View more awkward art here.)
Dear Ted:
I've read that Britney Spears was on meth and that's what helped to fuel her "crazy" phase. Is that really true? It's hard to believe that she would do something so stupid when she had two little boys. Does she still have a drug problem, if it really was drugs that she was on back then?
—Curious
Dear Toxic:
Brit wasn't in her right mind back then—no idea on the meth, but whatever she was doin', it was all pretty dangerous when you're responsible for caring for two defenseless kids.
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Dear Ted:
Now that Michael Lohan has been "publicly outing" Lindsay Lohan for prescription drugs, etc., can you finally out her as Morgan Mayhem, please?! This is just ridiculous!
—anj779
Dear Obvious:
What fun would that be?
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Dear Ted:
Stinky Carrot-Crotch has to be Zach Braff! He's totally funny on Scrubs, the way he plays J.D. is brilliant, but he looks like an awful kisser! How much better could he be in the sack?
—Krystyna
Dear Kiss and Tell:
It's not Braff as SCC—but Z.B.'s dated quite a few notable H'wood gals, so he can't be all bad!
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Dear Ted:
Hey boy, I'm really sorry to hear about the heartbreak, but you may be letting your heartbreak affect your work. It seems like you've gotten bitter and cynical and have begun to enjoy toying with us. Tell us, does Jensen Ackles have anything in common with Judas Jack-Off?
—jblondie
Dear Nice Try:
Who's toying with who here? [Ed: IMHO, last week's Jared Padelecki comment is a lot more direct (in TC terms) than this obvious dodge. I'd say this might tip the scales in favor of Jensen being JJO and Jared being DDD. That said, I'm no expert. I don't really follow these two and I don't watch Supernatural, (unless you count sexy gifs.)]
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Dear Ted:
Was there ever a (popular) Blind Vice where the most popular guess was way off?
—Lilly
Dear Smarty Pants:
Of course!
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Dear Ted:
The other day I was looking at the list of websites you link to on the Blog Roll, and I was thrilled to see PostSecret! I've only known about your site for a few months now, but I've been going to PostSecret for years. Thanks for linking to it so others can find the website and hopefully get something out of it as I have in the past! Quick question: Could you please say that Stinky Carrot-Crotch is not John Krasinski?
—Doggy Matian
Dear Emo Girl:
Glad we share the same taste in websites and men. No, Stinky isnt Krasinski. Think less funny.
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Dear Ted:
Are you sure Ryan Reynolds and Scarlett Johansson are really married? Did you see them on Saturday Night Live? They seemed so uncomfortable together. Ryan spent more time with his arms around Sandra Bullock! Are they that awkward together or is it an arrangement for publicity? By the way, Lady Gaga was a hell of a lot more entertaining. They should have just built the show around her!
—CJ
Dear Arranged Marriage:
It cant be for publicity since, aside from SNL, they are never together. This coupling (besides shared beauty) beats me, too, babe.
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Dear Ted:
Love all that you do for animal shelters! Keep it up. I have a question about Jake Gyllenhaal. We know that he is a Blind Vice, but what I can't put my finger on is whether or not you like/respect him. What are your personal feelings about him? Good guy or do his hidden Vices make you dislike him?
—Jmp
Dear Boringhaal:
It's hard for me to respect Jake when I suspect he doesn't much respect himself right now. Wow, that was deep, huh?
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Dear Ted:
Thank you for your stance on the treatment of women. For some reason, women have been ostracized for centuries now. So for a man in a powerful position such as yourself, we women thank you. OK, now for the juice: Has Kristen Bell ever been a Blind Vice?
—Hobdian
Dear Golden Bell:
Oh, heavens no, not nearly debauched enough yet, as hard as she may at times be trying.
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Dear Ted:
What's the dish on True Blood hottie Sam Trammell? Married, taken, single, straight, gay...any info you can share?
—Michellie
Dear Totally Awesome:
Straight as far as I know. I get a playerish vibe, but can't say for sure. He's a very cool guy!
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Dear Ted:
Does Jessica Biel look so glum (in photos) because of Justin Timberlake's single-style partying, or is Justin single-style partying because Jessica is always so glum?
—Mkl
Dear Boring and Boringer:
Number two.
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Dear Ted:
You didn't answer my last question, but I still love ya. So please answer this one, I know I'm begging. Is it a proven fact that if a gay celebrity comes out off the closet that they lose fans? I mean, if it doesn't happen, what are all these agents, managers or whatever so worried about? Let these people be happy and live their life as they please.
—Angie
Dear Bearer of Bad News:
Unfortunately, yes. Not everyone is as accepting as many pretend to be.
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Dear Ted:
Zac Efron is my cougar crush, and I really enjoy his face and seeing him without a shirt. I imagine you've seen hundreds of his type come and go in Hollywood. What are your thoughts on this kid? Is he a sure thing to be around for years to come? Also, has he been the subject of a Blind Vice yet, or is he too young?
—Pixie
Dear Cougar Meat:
Can't say yet. I do like some of Zac's recent moves, though, like his Entourage cameo and dropping out of Footloose. It gives him a better chance at not being typecast as the hot guy who can dance. Let's see his next movies, then come back to this very important issue.
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Dear Ted:
After reading your article about Austin Nichols and Sophia Bush, I have to wonder what is up with those One Tree Hill ladies. Tell me, is Danneel Harris and Jensen Ackles' relationship comparable to Sophia and Austin's? And if so, would it be fair to say that Jared Padalecki is the Jake Gyllenhaal to Jensen's Austin?
—Curious
Dear Telenovela:
Whatever you're drinking, honey, I want some of that!
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Dear Ted:
I'm sure you won't stay single long (not that there is anything wrong with that if that's what you desire!). Please settle a bet. We've noticed that Austin Nichols has some stubble on his face. So tell us...would you say he has a "beard" or not?
—Karen
Dear Growing Pains:
Hard to say—I don't grow them.
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Dear Ted:
Gotta few inquiries about Dumbo Pecs. You mentioned Slink-a-Rella wasn't his first choice for marriage. Did he or does he continue to contact his "first choice"? Wonder what his first choice thinks of this. What, if anything, have you heard from her camp? She's probably better off to have him out of her life. My thought is, he was truly in love with the first one, but as you said, picked the second to further his career. Oh, stupid ass Dumbo.
—Mel
Dear Big and the Beautiful:
This man doesn't know what the ef he wants; hence, his Dumbo moniker.
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Dear Ted:
Haven't heard about Nevis Divine in a while. What's the sitch? Anything new to dish about? With that in mind, I offer up a guess: Gael García Bernal. Close?
—Orng
Dear Diddling Nevis:
That's not a coincidence, he's been keeping a low profile.
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Dear Ted:
Bitchy and witty is everything I am, and love to read (even if my literature-lovin' heart sees gossip blolumns as an affront to literacy)—so I love reading you. I save you for Sunday mornings to spend hours catching up on the Awful week! After years of reading, I finally speak. I think Dumbo Pecs is neither RyRy, Marc or Odom (no faltering career, shudderingly skinny, not yet legally married, respectively). I'm gonna throw out Tom Brady ("pro" career laggin' cuz of injury) or Josh Duhamel. Their spouses both are known for delish curves, front and back...am I even close?! Love ya.
—Kayla
Dear Random Guesses:
Pretty far off, save the rear-end part. Think less established, slightly.
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Dear Ted:
What is Raven Symone up to?
—Danneisg
Dear Raving about Raven:
Who cares? She's a boring Disney sellout.
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Dear Ted:
You have a very clever, charming way about you. I'm new to your articles, so you may have addressed this: I read what you wrote other day about Austin Nichols and Sofia Bush. You made a lot of references to Jake Gyllenhaal throughout the article. Certain words and phrases made it seem like there is something going on between J.G and A.N. Have they ever been in a Blind Vice, possibly together?
—DDSunshine
Dear New and Virginal:
Whatever about my wording made you suspicious? Jake has not only been a B.V., he's a superstar, darling!
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Dear Ted:
Is Crotch Uh-Lastic Derek Hough?
—DDSunshine
Dear Crotch Offender:
No! Crotch is famous for a reason. Now apologize to Toothy Jr.
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Dear Ted:
Here's a list of the 50 highest-grossing films worldwide, before inflation (with references; don't hate). Has Toothy Tile appeared in one of these films?
—StellsBells
Dear Sneak Attack:
You forgot to add the link so I don't have to answer! (He wasn't in ET, I'll say that much.) [Ed: Bitch please. I sent this one in, and I know for a fact that the link was included. My HTML was flawless. FLAWLESS. A response has been sent. We'll see if anything comes of it.]
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Dear Ted:
Started reading A.T. this summer and now I find myself checking in every day. Keep up the good work Ted! Have you ever had a Blind Vice on Robert Pattinson?
—Love from Norway
Dear Up Front:
Kind of.
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Dear Ted:
I was wondering if you had any hot gossip on one of my favorite actors, Ewan McGregor, or if he has ever been a subject of a Blind Vice. Lots of love!
—HH in NJ
Dear Foreign Import:
I do. He has a very large penis and he's extremely fond of showing it off. And yes. Tons of love back, babe!
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Dear Ted:
All of this talk about Obama's refusal to support marriage equality is leaving me oddly nostalgic for Will & Grace. I know that Eric McCormack is married with kids, and Sean Hayes refuses to comment on his sexuality, but are these two honestly not gay?
—Nancy
Dear Loaded Q:
Oh, please, that's what everybody said about Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhaal after Brokeback Mountain, remember? Aren't we past this stuff yet?
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Dear Ted:
Sometimes I feel like Jekyll and Hyde are writing your column, sometimes in the same post, no less. Take your answers to letters earlier this week about Toothy Tile. First you tell us you can't respect Toothy since he doesn't respect himself. To this reader that sounds like you think someone who beards has no self-respect and doesn't deserve respect. Then you turn around and say Toothy has a beard to stay relevant. You seem to be implying that is a good thing, so taken together, it sounds like you're saying if only Toothy would respect himself for bearding, he'd be OK in your book.
—Puzzled
Dear No and No:
I'm not justifying Toothy's reasoning, just explaining why in his mind (and his handlers) a beard is worth the trouble. It does keep him relevant, especially since his career is lackluster lately. Doesn't mean I agree with it.
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Dear Ted:
I demand that you give me a straight answer. If you could pick the top three husbands in Hollywood...for being good husbands, fathers and all-around good guys (and not fakes)...who would they be? Thanks hon!
—Sandy
Dear Sugar Daddys:
Hanks, Smith and Gyllenhaal (to Reese's kids, of course; don't coffee-klatch fams count, too?).
Scorecard:
-Crotch Uh-Lastic is not Adam Brody, Christian Bale, Diddy, Derek Hough, John Mayer, Josh Hartnett, Kevin Spacey, Matthew Broderick, Matthew McConaughey, Robert Downey Jr., Ryan Gosling, Ryan Philippe, The Rock, Tobey Maguire, Tom Hanks, or Topher Grace.
-Dumbo Pecs is not Hank Baskett, Jay-Z, Josh Duhamel or Nick Cannon. Slink-a-Rella Jiggle is not Beyoncé, Kendra Wilkinson or Mariah Carey.
-Jerry Rock-Butt is not Emile Hirsch, Ryan Phillippe or Sean "Diddy" Combs.
-Judas Jack-Off is not Benjamin McKenzie, Bradley Cooper, Brandon Routh, Chace Crawford, Chris Evans, Chris Pine, Ed Westwick, Gale Harold, Jake Gyllenhaal, Jared Padalecki (perhaps), Joe Jonas, Joshua Jackson, Keanu Reeves, Kellan Lutz, Matt Dallas, Milo Ventimiglia, Orlando Bloom, Robert Pattinson, Ryan Reynolds, Ryan Seacrest, Taylor Kistch or Zac Efron. Dashed Dingle Dream is not J.C. Chasez or Joshua Jackson.
-Morgan Mayhem is Lindsay Lohan, but is "officially" not Gina Gershon, Hilary Swank, Keira Knightley, Lara Flynn Boyle, Mischa Barton, Nicky Hilton, Nicole Richie, Paris Hilton, Queen Latifah, Tara Reid or Whitney Houston.
-Nevis Divine is not Alexander Skarsgård, Alex O'Loughlin, Austin Nichols, Bradley Cooper, Chace Crawford, Channing Tatum, Chris Evans, Colin Farrell, Corbin Bleu, Daniel Radcliffe, David Boreanaz, Diego Luna, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, Ed Westwick, Edward Norton, Emile Hirsch, Eric Bana, Gael García Bernal, George Clooney, Gerard Butler, Hayden Christensen, Hugh Grant, Hugh Jackman, Jake Gyllenhaal, James Franco, James McAvoy, Jim Sturgess, John Mayer, Johnathan Rhys Meyers, Joshua Jackson, Justin Bartha, Keanu Reeves, Kellan Lutz, Kevin Connolly, Matt Dallas, Michael Cera, Mike Myers, Olivier Martinez, Orlando Bloom, Penn Badgley, Robert Buckley, Rodrigo Santoro, Ryan Kwanten, Ryan Reynolds, Sebastian Stan, Shia LaBeouf, Simon Baker, Stephen Moyer, Viggo Mortensen, Will Smith, or Zac Efron.
-Princess Powder-Puff is not Christina Aguilera, Nadine Coyle or Nicole Scherzinger.
-Stinky Carrot-Crotch is not Jason Segel, John Krasinski, Jon Hamm, Matt Stone, Sam Trammell or Zach Braff.
-Toothy Tile isn't 50 Cent, Aaron Eckhart, Adam Brody, Adrian Grenier, Adrien Brody, All 3 Jonas Brothers, Anderson Cooper, Andy Dick, Ashton Kutcher, Ben Affleck, Ben Mackenzie, Bill Clinton, Bradley Cooper, Brad Pitt, Brandon Davis, Brian Austin Green, Carrot Top, Casey Affleck, Chad Michael Murray, Channing Tatum, Chris Evans, Chris Klein, Chris Pine, Christian Bale, Clay Aiken, Colin Farrell, Dane Cook, Daniel Craig, Danny Bonaduce, David Duchovny, David Hyde Pierce, David Schwimmer, David Spade, Denzel Washington, Derek Jeter, Dick Cheney, Don Cheadle, Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, Eddie Murphy, Elijah Wood, Emile Hirsch, Eric Balfour, Gael García Bernal, George Clooney, George Eads, Gerard Butler, Haley Joel Osment, Harrison Ford, Harry Hamlin, Hayden Christensen, Heath Ledger, Hillary Clinton, Homer Simpson, Hugh Jackman, Isaiah Washington, James Franco, James Marsden, Jamie Foxx, Jared Leto, Jared Padalecki, Jason Lee, Jason Statham, Jennifer Garner, Jeremy Piven, Jesse Metacalfe, Jim Carrey, Joaquin Phoenix, Joel McHale, John C. Reilly, John Krasinski, John Stamos, John Travolta, Josh Brolin, Josh Duhamel, Josh Hartnett, Josh Lucas, Julian McMahon, Justin Timberlake, Keanu Reeves, Kellan Lutz, Kenny Chesney, Kevin Spacey, Kiefer Sutherland, Lance Bass, Leonardo DiCaprio, Liev Schrieber, Luke Wilson, Mario Lopez, Mark Ruffalo, Mark Wahlberg, Matt Damon, Matt Dillon, Matt LeBlanc, Matthew Broderick, Matthew McConaughey, Matthew Perry, Michael Angarano, Michael Vartan, Mike Myers, Milo Ventimiglia, Neil Patrick Harris, Nikki Reed, Orlando Bloom, Owen Wilson, Peter Facinelli, Queen Latifah, Ricky Martin, Rob Thomas, Robert Buckley, Robert Pattinson, Ronaldo, Ryan Cabrera, Ryan Gosling, Ryan Reynolds, Scott Speedman, Sean Penn, Sean William Scott, Seth Green, Shane West, Shemar Moore, Shia LeBeouf, Spencer Pratt, Steven Weber, T.R. Knight, Taylor Lautner, Ted Danson, Tobey Maguire, Tom Cruise, Tom Welling, Topher Grace, Usher, Val Kilmer, Viggo Mortensen, Vin Diesel, Vince Vaughn, Wentworth Miller, Will Smith, Wilmer Valderama, Zac Efron, Zach Braff, or Zachary Quinto. Grey Goose is not Anderson Cooper, Chris Pine, George Clooney, Jensen Ackles, Mario Lopez, Matt Dillon, Mel Gibson, Peter Sarsgaard, Ryan Gosling, Tom Cruise, or Zachary Quinto.
2, 3, 4, 5, 7, 8
