cherisse *♥ ([info]cherrule) wrote in [info]ohnotheydidnt,
@ 2009-09-29 20:29:00
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Entry tags:film, list

The ten WORST films of 2009...so far!
The summer blockbusters are wrapped for another year, and as we head into Oscar-hunting season, it seems a good time to take a look back at the year so far and tick off the films that will, most definitely, NOT be on any Academy member's list. (Or, god help us, they better not be!) We used our sister site Metacritic as our guide, so the list below shows the ten lowest-rated films of the last eight months, listed from bad to really, really bad. There are some films you might be surprised are not on the list (Transformers 2? G.I. Joe? Year One?), which really just means that...shudder...there are even worse films out there. The world may be moving forward, technology may be smarter, movie seats more comfortable, but dammit, bad cinema just won't go away.

10. Homecoming
Metascore: 21


College football star (Matt Long) lands fancy new girlfriend (Jessica Stroup) and brings her back to his poor Midwestern home town for Christmas. Footballer's wacko ex (Mischa Barton) kidnaps new girlfriend, and locks her up in rundown farmhouse. From director Morgan J. Freeman (not the actor...thank god...but the guy behind the insipid Desert Blue), it's a tale of class warfare, captivity horror (with too many shades of Misery for comfort), and plain old jealously. Barton signing on may be the only reason this dud got made; which is too bad because, as the New York Post wrote, "If we can agree on anything in this great divided land of ours, it's this: Mischa Barton can't act."



Spinning Into Butter
Metascore: 20


A morality tale about racism starring Sarah Jessica Parker as a dean of students at a New England college? We'll take Sex and the City reruns any day over this.

8. The Informers
Metascore: 20


It's the 1980s, the party crowd is coked out, and everyone's an asshole: sounds like Bret Easton Ellis! And it is, adapted from the Less Than Zero/American Psycho writer's short story collection. Roger Ebert liked it, writing "If The Informers doesn't sound to you like a pleasant time at the movies, you are right. It is often however repulsively fascinating." Others, however, were not so fascinated with the unpleasantness, using words like "absurdly vapid," "tedious," "knuckleheaded," and a "repulsive 80s flashback." (Wait..."knuckleheaded"?)
7. Downloading Nancy
Metascore: 19


An unhappy woman leaves her husband of 15 years and winds up in a violent relationship with another lost, lonely soul. Maria Bello may have given a brave performance, but the film wound up being "gimmicky," "pointless," "nasty," and, as the New York Post put it, "an icky S&M thriller."

6. I Hate Valentine's Day
Metascore: 17


Boy meets girl, girl has a strict 'five dates only' rule. But maybe this relationship will be different? Wake us up when you find out. No, wait, on the other hand, don't. (Funniest line goes to the New York Times: "Compared with this, [Nora] Ephron is Chekhov.")


5. Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li
Metascore: 17


No one expected this live-action film adaptation of the Street Fighter games to be Citizen Kane, but when even "the rote fight scenes are a disappointment," you have to wonder what the hell the point was.

4. The Lodger
Metascore: 17


For this remake of an early (1927) Alfred Hitchcock thriller, about a landlady who suspects her new tenant is Jack the Ripper, director David Ondaatje (nephew of English Patient novelist Michael) sets the story on the Sunset Strip. Said the LA Times, "The biggest mystery is why Alfred Molina and Hope Davis agreed to be in this."

3. All About Steve
Metascore: 17


For some the fun ends at the mention of the film's star, Sandra Bullock. If you're still reading, you'll be disappointed to learn that fellow castmembers Thomas Haden Church, Bradley Cooper, and the hilarious Ken Jeong just don't bring enough to this story of a kooky crossword-puzzle writer gets all stalker-y on Hangover star Cooper. As Salon wrote: "Just when you think your jaw can't drop any lower in appalled amazement, comes a romantic comedy so lunkheaded and ill-conceived that it makes your average, idiotic Kate Hudson-Matthew McConaughey outing look like the reincarnation of Hepburn and Grant."

2. The Trouble with Romance
Metascore: 11


Set in an LA hotel, this rom-com showcases a different cruddy relationships in each room. Said the NY Daily News: "Ever fast-forward through a late-night cable romance just to get to the good parts? This amateurish relationship dramedy features all the stuff you'd skip, and nothing else."

1. Miss March
Metascore: 7


For those not brainwashed by the endless commercials for this dog, here's the recap. Dude wakes up from a coma to find his high-school sweetheart is now a Playboy model, and dude's best friend convinces him to road trip it out to California to reconnect and crash the Playboy Mansion. Sounds like a run-of-the-mill teen-sex comedy, but apparently it can't even achieve those lofty heights. As The Hollywood Reporter wrote: "The worst sex cartoon in Playboy's long history can't compete with the sheer vacuousness of this inane comedy." Where's Tom Green when you need him?



source

do you agree ontd? what movies are left out? etc :)



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[info]murdertramp_
2009-09-30 12:39 am UTC (link)
HOW DID THEY MISS THE CINEMATIC MASTERPIECE OF DRAGONBALL?!

(Reply to this) (Thread)(Expand)


[info]drunkand2stoned
2009-09-30 12:40 am UTC (link)
That's out already?

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(no subject) - [info]buttertooth, 2009-09-30 01:05 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]xkyrie_eleisonx, 2009-09-30 01:29 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]lolita_eva, 2009-09-30 12:41 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]angedesoir, 2009-09-30 12:44 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]bienenkiste, 2009-09-30 12:45 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]midnight_lite, 2009-09-30 01:20 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]shanny_w, 2009-09-30 12:42 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]irradiancy, 2009-09-30 12:44 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]sergeantquakers, 2009-09-30 12:45 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]murdertramp_, 2009-09-30 12:48 am UTC (Expand)
lol - [info]harmless_chaos, 2009-09-30 01:06 am UTC (Expand)
Re: lol - [info]fwee_prower, 2009-09-30 02:25 am UTC (Expand)
Re: lol - [info]iichristinll, 2009-09-30 02:54 am UTC (Expand)
Re: lol - [info]wtfunks, 2009-09-30 05:57 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]la_sikka, 2009-09-30 01:26 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]darkknightt, 2009-09-30 02:50 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]mechuparmucho, 2009-09-30 01:31 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]beatrizm, 2009-09-30 02:48 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]anna_drenxavier, 2009-09-30 02:56 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]must_go_faster, 2009-09-30 11:16 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]anijen21, 2009-09-30 03:43 am UTC (Expand)

[info]drunkand2stoned
2009-09-30 12:39 am UTC (link)
I haven't seen any of these

(Reply to this) (Thread)(Expand)


[info]minalskare
2009-09-30 01:10 am UTC (link)
Neither have I and thank God because they look wretched.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

(no subject) - [info]paperprincesss, 2009-09-30 01:16 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]drunkand2stoned, 2009-09-30 01:18 am UTC (Expand)

[info]__orangeglo
2009-09-30 12:39 am UTC (link)
the only move i've heard of from this list is the sandra bullock one.

(Reply to this) (Thread)(Expand)


[info]honeynutcherri
2009-09-30 12:42 am UTC (link)
Me too, and I'm happy about that.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

(no subject) - [info]m3ts_ftw, 2009-09-30 12:51 am UTC (Expand)

[info]vanessavicious
2009-09-30 12:40 am UTC (link)
wat why is jennifers body not on this.

(Reply to this) (Thread)(Expand)


[info]missxxxmatronic
2009-09-30 12:41 am UTC (link)
Um cause its good?

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)(Expand)

(no subject) - [info]jesustolemybike, 2009-09-30 12:59 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]brodels_nazz, 2009-09-30 01:53 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]starbucks_patch, 2009-09-30 03:05 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]honeynutcherri, 2009-09-30 12:42 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]lovetake_over, 2009-09-30 12:42 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]lustdumpster, 2009-09-30 12:43 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]jesustolemybike, 2009-09-30 12:59 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]minalskare, 2009-09-30 01:11 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]vangogh_ourears, 2009-09-30 01:13 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]sleeplessroads, 2009-09-30 01:17 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]falloutbi, 2009-09-30 01:25 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]starbucks_patch, 2009-09-30 03:07 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]kerishma, 2009-09-30 01:29 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]xkyrie_eleisonx, 2009-09-30 01:31 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]ms_firecrotch, 2009-09-30 01:33 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]xballet, 2009-09-30 02:16 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]sevenbeat, 2009-09-30 01:44 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]minireb123, 2009-09-30 02:08 am UTC (Expand)

[info]_toxicology
2009-09-30 12:40 am UTC (link)
"Mischa Barton can't act"

fucking wrong, false etc to the highest degree.

(Reply to this) (Thread)(Expand)


[info]babablanky
2009-09-30 12:43 am UTC (link)
ikr? she was great at vomiting in the Sixth Sense.

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(no subject) - [info]hypocrisyetal, 2009-09-30 01:00 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]babablanky, 2009-09-30 01:21 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]are_there_stars, 2009-09-30 01:07 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]luxxe, 2009-09-30 12:44 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]brandon198403, 2009-09-30 12:44 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]lailaandmarvi, 2009-09-30 12:47 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]bluegoth, 2009-09-30 01:55 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]madamwindmill, 2009-09-30 12:49 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]destructo_ray, 2009-09-30 12:50 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]ms_firecrotch, 2009-09-30 01:35 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]__trendwhore, 2009-09-30 01:37 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]hsheaj, 2009-09-30 02:46 am UTC (Expand)

[info]i_was_a_camera
2009-09-30 12:40 am UTC (link)
I've only heard of two of these lol.

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]gossipgirll25
2009-09-30 01:29 am UTC (link)
Ikr I've heard of all about Steve and the informant. Kinda disappointed they're on here cause I actually wanted to see both. I guess this is saving me 20$ though

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(no subject) - [info]cgevaldo, 2009-09-30 01:46 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]mouthofblood, 2009-09-30 01:55 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]gossipgirll25, 2009-09-30 04:14 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]shim_shim, 2009-09-30 04:05 am UTC (Expand)

[info]lubed
2009-09-30 12:40 am UTC (link)
well the new twilight hasn't come out yet so this is sorta invalid

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[info]midnight_lite
2009-09-30 01:21 am UTC (link)
well it does say "so far" lol

(Reply to this) (Parent)

(no subject) - [info]walkingxorgasm, 2009-09-30 01:36 am UTC (Expand)

[info]chibik3r0
2009-09-30 12:40 am UTC (link)
Soon to be added: New Moon

(Reply to this)


[info]o0oprettycolors
2009-09-30 12:41 am UTC (link)
haven't watched Miss March, but I love me some WKUK

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[info]asemic
2009-09-30 12:52 am UTC (link)
Same here. I just got the film, but I'm not sure if I could sit through it.

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(no subject) - [info]o0oprettycolors, 2009-09-30 01:42 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]asemic, 2009-09-30 02:06 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]o0oprettycolors, 2009-09-30 02:49 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]leloucia, 2009-09-30 02:56 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]iheartfamke, 2009-09-30 03:08 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]_thatsxhawt, 2009-09-30 02:40 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]o0oprettycolors, 2009-09-30 02:50 am UTC (Expand)

[info]youbeboy
2009-09-30 12:41 am UTC (link)
With the exception of All About Steve, I've never even heard of these.

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]krcs
2009-09-30 04:52 pm UTC (link)
same here

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]bertiedav
2009-09-30 12:41 am UTC (link)
GOD, THE INFORMERS SUCKED SO FUCKING MUCH. I COULDN'T WATCH IT ALL. UGHHHHH.

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[info]elisabet85
2009-09-30 02:27 am UTC (link)
:( The soundtrack was really good so this disappoints me

(Reply to this) (Parent)

(no subject) - [info]shovies, 2009-09-30 04:58 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]wemustnotsayso, 2009-09-30 06:55 am UTC (Expand)

[info]chana
2009-09-30 12:41 am UTC (link)
well i didn't see any of those sooo

(Reply to this)


[info]missxxxmatronic
2009-09-30 12:41 am UTC (link)
Most Overhyped Film: Trick R Treat

(Reply to this) (Thread)(Expand)


[info]d00ditsemily
2009-09-30 12:57 am UTC (link)
not really, but k

(Reply to this) (Parent)

(no subject) - [info]redleigh86, 2009-09-30 01:07 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]missxxxmatronic, 2009-09-30 01:19 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]starbucks_patch, 2009-09-30 03:10 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]missjessica, 2009-09-30 01:20 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]savannah_rose24, 2009-09-30 01:31 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]missxxxmatronic, 2009-09-30 01:41 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]jamaicanmelaugh, 2009-09-30 05:11 am UTC (Expand)

[info]lovetake_over
2009-09-30 12:41 am UTC (link)
lol i didn't see any of these.

(Reply to this)


[info]vicarabelling
2009-09-30 12:41 am UTC (link)
I've only heard of like two of these

(Reply to this)


[info]winterclothes
2009-09-30 12:41 am UTC (link)
The worst movie I saw this year was Transformers 2. It was too long and I was bored and sleepy.

Edited at 2009-09-30 12:41 am UTC

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[info]catalytically
2009-09-30 12:55 am UTC (link)
kewl

(Reply to this) (Parent)

(no subject) - [info]jesustolemybike, 2009-09-30 01:00 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]rampant_chaos8, 2009-09-30 01:33 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]bluegoth, 2009-09-30 01:57 am UTC (Expand)

[info]brandon198403
2009-09-30 12:41 am UTC (link)
Thankfully I have seen none of these...and only heard of maybe 2 lol

In GOOD movie news..I'm so so so so so excited to see Toy Story 3D this weekend :D

(Reply to this) (Thread)(Expand)


[info]only_diet_coke
2009-09-30 12:45 am UTC (link)
omg I am SO excited for Toy Story 3D.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

(no subject) - [info]jaded_fae, 2009-09-30 01:03 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]bonitaquetal, 2009-09-30 01:44 am UTC (Expand)

[info]swells
2009-09-30 12:41 am UTC (link)
I still want to watching Downloading Nancy, even if it ends up being terrible.

(Reply to this)


[info]nene718
2009-09-30 12:41 am UTC (link)
I haven't seen any of these, and I've only heard of three of them, so I guess I'm on the right track.

(Reply to this)


[info]honeybear_308
2009-09-30 12:42 am UTC (link)
I've only heard of one of these and i'm kinda glad about that.

(Reply to this)


[info]astormatsea
2009-09-30 12:42 am UTC (link)
paul blart mall cop


i havent seen it but do i really have to. and i want to know why half my friends told me to see it/think it's hilarious

(Reply to this) (Thread)(Expand)


[info]lustdumpster
2009-09-30 12:45 am UTC (link)
my boyfriend's parents have really bad taste in movies and they loved it, but my boyfriend watched it with them and said it's really stupid falling down/getting hurt jokes and it's not clever at all.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

(no subject) - [info]lailaandmarvi, 2009-09-30 12:48 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]abarnes19, 2009-09-30 12:50 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]noreallywtf, 2009-09-30 02:04 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]carnivalpapers, 2009-09-30 02:44 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]jordanchase, 2009-09-30 03:50 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]airmanswife, 2009-09-30 09:25 am UTC (Expand)

[info]diamond_dust06
2009-09-30 12:42 am UTC (link)
How could they put Chun Li there and not list Dragonball???

(Reply to this)


[info]oldpolaroid
2009-09-30 12:42 am UTC (link)
WHERE IS THE KEANU REMAKE OF THE DAY THE EARTH STOOD STILL

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]rampant_chaos8
2009-09-30 01:36 am UTC (link)
1. Came out in 2008.
2. It wasn't great, but it wasn't the worst thing I'd ever seen either.

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]pinknblack06
2009-09-30 12:42 am UTC (link)
i've only heard of three of these. i think i wanted to see "Spinning Into Butter" because someone i like is in that movie, but nevermind now.

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]egosumopacis
2009-09-30 06:18 am UTC (link)
I liked the play and the movie is supposedly very similar. Watch it for what it is, it's not a happy story in the least, and there's not really a moral good. I think I'll rent it to compare.

If you watch it, prepare something to watch afterwards that won't make you feel shitty. (I'm basing this on the play, but I doubt they changed the entire plot.)

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]miss_gulch
2009-09-30 12:42 am UTC (link)
Homecoming was on Lifetime lol.

(Reply to this) (Thread)(Expand)


[info]abarnes19
2009-09-30 12:51 am UTC (link)
I watched it, it was really bad.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

(no subject) - [info]destructo_ray, 2009-09-30 12:52 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]animefanaticren, 2009-09-30 01:04 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]bongococo, 2009-09-30 01:11 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]cadaver_andante, 2009-09-30 01:34 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]iamaunicorn, 2009-09-30 02:06 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]dcmare84, 2009-09-30 08:23 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]dcmare84, 2009-09-30 08:22 pm UTC (Expand)

(430 comments) - (Post a new comment)

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