and bobs your uncle ([info]kiefers) wrote in [info]ohnotheydidnt,
@ 2008-06-30 20:00:00
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Suspense worthy of the Maury show: Michael Lohan donates DNA for Paternity Test

God forbid this mans sperm is out there somewhere


Michael Lohan is confident he's not facing his very own parent trap.
Lindsay Lohan's dad tells E! News he provided a DNA sample for a paternity test this morning and is now convinced that the results will shoot down a woman's claim that he fathered a daughter with her while he was separated from ex-wife Dina Lohan.

On Friday, the 48-year-old Lohan patriarch acknowledged having sexual relations on two occasions with Kristi Kauffman, a woman he met in Houston in the mid-'90s.
He said he initially believed Kauffman's claims that her daughter, Ashley, was his, but now Lohan says the math doesn't make sense.

"We were together in July of '94. I think it was just before The Parent Trap came out because that's when Dina and I were separated," he tells E! News. "[Kristi] left me and went to Houston, Texas, and she met a guy she lived with there for a year."

According to his time line, Lohan says, Ashley, now 13, was born in June 1995—a difference of 11 months—which is why he ran out to get this test done right away.

"She had me so convinced. She had me snowballed," he says, adding that he even communicated with the girl he believed was Lindsay's secret sis by telephone, even helping her with her homework.

"Here I was sitting in jail going through a divorce, felt like I had no hope and then someone sends me a letter and says I have a baby. And I thought maybe this is what I'm supposed to do next," he says.

The results of the paternity test will be ready in 10-12 days and should settle the matter, he says.
If he is proven to be Ashley's father, he tells E! News he is prepared to make good, and will finally have a face-to-face with her.

"Then I'll sit down and meet with my kids. Let my kids decide if they want to meet her and when," he adds.
On Friday, Kauffman, a 44-year-old massage therapist, told E! News that Lohan promised "to do for Ashley what he did for Lindsay’s career, the whole thing," but then had second thoughts.
"He was supposed to take a paternity test seven years ago , but he disappeared off the face of the earth," she said. "I just want this to be resolved and the truth to be told."
Source


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[info]daydreamrachey
2008-07-01 12:07 am UTC (link)
omg lol the drama~

(Reply to this)


[info]_hearmyvoice
2008-07-01 12:07 am UTC (link)

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(no subject) - [info]croutonochrist, 2008-07-01 12:07 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]_xxtom, 2008-07-01 12:08 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]andreasachs, 2008-07-01 12:13 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]_hearmyvoice, 2008-07-01 12:13 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]murphyslawve, 2008-07-01 12:13 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]kitt8kat, 2008-07-01 12:14 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]autorocket, 2008-07-01 12:15 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]_hearmyvoice, 2008-07-01 12:16 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]dragonblk17, 2008-07-01 12:15 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]rather_ambition, 2008-07-01 12:25 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]ohhai_laine, 2008-07-01 12:38 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]ladytia, 2008-07-01 12:52 am UTC (Expand)

[info]dennisaurus
2008-07-01 12:07 am UTC (link)
donates dna means spurted in a cup, right?

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(no subject) - [info]daydreamrachey, 2008-07-01 12:08 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]dennisaurus, 2008-07-01 12:13 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]andreasachs, 2008-07-01 12:10 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]dennisaurus, 2008-07-01 12:16 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]andreasachs, 2008-07-01 12:25 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]dennisaurus, 2008-07-01 12:30 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]autorocket, 2008-07-01 12:14 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]dennisaurus, 2008-07-01 12:16 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]autorocket, 2008-07-01 12:17 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]dennisaurus, 2008-07-01 12:20 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]autorocket, 2008-07-01 12:23 am UTC (Expand)
OT - [info]i_sang_so_loud, 2008-07-01 01:09 am UTC (Expand)
Daddy Lohan can donate his DNA to me any day of the week. - [info]dnfrommn, 2008-07-01 03:30 am UTC (Expand)

[info]theswanhatch
2008-07-01 12:07 am UTC (link)
i feel bad for the kid

(Reply to this)


[info]future_sex
2008-07-01 12:08 am UTC (link)
omg i thought maury died for a second :(

i was scared bbs

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(no subject) - [info]kiefers, 2008-07-01 12:09 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]ariesangel404, 2008-07-01 12:11 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]gaze, 2008-07-01 12:16 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]jearsforqueers, 2008-07-01 12:21 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]shanny_w, 2008-07-01 01:50 am UTC (Expand)

[info]queenb833
2008-07-01 12:08 am UTC (link)
aw here it goes

(Reply to this)


[info]onacruise
2008-07-01 12:08 am UTC (link)
We were together in July of '94. I think it was just before The Parent Trap came out

? the parent trap came out in '98

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(no subject) - [info]ariesangel404, 2008-07-01 12:11 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]gaze, 2008-07-01 12:16 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]32319, 2008-07-01 02:18 am UTC (Expand)

[info]megandjim
2008-07-01 12:08 am UTC (link)
Michael Lohan is confident he's not facing his very own parent trap.

lol, punny.

(Reply to this)


[info]askastylist
2008-07-01 12:09 am UTC (link)
Please appear on Maury. I love that shit, this morning episode was so good y'all.

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(no subject) - [info]rather_ambition, 2008-07-01 12:33 am UTC (Expand)

[info]_hearmyvoice
2008-07-01 12:09 am UTC (link)

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(no subject) - [info]autorocket, 2008-07-01 12:19 am UTC (Expand)
i prefer this - [info]americandream17, 2008-07-01 12:56 am UTC (Expand)

[info]andreasachs
2008-07-01 12:10 am UTC (link)
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh shiiiiiiiiiit! Lets get this party started!

(Reply to this)


[info]kerrence
2008-07-01 12:10 am UTC (link)
sorry, lady, but what Michael "did for Lindsay's career" is nothing more than air her family's private shit out in public

you want that for your kid? okay, you suck.

(Reply to this)


[info]agenda
2008-07-01 12:11 am UTC (link)
Yeah, he doesn't seem like the brightest crayon in the box.

(Reply to this)


[info]mew
2008-07-01 12:11 am UTC (link)
This whole thing just REEKS of being so damn trashy. Especially the whole 'Lohan promised "to do for Ashley what he did for Lindsay’s career, the whole thing," but then had second thoughts.' jazz.

This SO needs to be settled on Maury. I'm sure Michael would do it, the man can't get enough of publicity.

(Reply to this)


[info]pixiesilver
2008-07-01 12:12 am UTC (link)
I luv those DNA shows(:

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(no subject) - [info]capriicious, 2008-07-01 12:19 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]rather_ambition, 2008-07-01 12:35 am UTC (Expand)

[info]andreasachs
2008-07-01 12:12 am UTC (link)
If you were Lindsay, Ali, and the two non-profitable, useless males in the family would you want to meet this girl?

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(no subject) - [info]alotta_fachina, 2008-07-01 05:05 am UTC (Expand)

[info]autorocket
2008-07-01 12:12 am UTC (link)
I hate when woman don't really know who is the father of her child. It's just fucked up. But if he is the baby daddy, he better make up for it.

Good for him though, getting the test. You should always get the test.

I'm a woman, but I think paternity testing at birth should be mandatory. A lot of men don't realize that their wife/gf has been cheating on them.

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(no subject) - [info]andreasachs, 2008-07-01 12:14 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]autorocket, 2008-07-01 12:17 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]askastylist, 2008-07-01 12:15 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]autorocket, 2008-07-01 12:16 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]dennisaurus, 2008-07-01 12:18 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]misscrystal, 2008-07-01 12:33 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]32319, 2008-07-01 02:21 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]sevinish, 2008-07-01 05:06 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]32319, 2008-07-01 06:16 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]androganus, 2008-07-01 12:33 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]autorocket, 2008-07-01 12:34 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]androganus, 2008-07-01 12:42 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]applejane, 2008-07-01 12:49 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]androganus, 2008-07-01 01:05 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]rather_ambition, 2008-07-01 12:37 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]sleepdirt82, 2008-07-01 12:51 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]iluvdykes, 2008-07-01 01:27 am UTC (Expand)

[info]mew
2008-07-01 12:13 am UTC (link)
Oh and for the record;

The Parent Trap came out in 1998, per IMDB.

HA!

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(no subject) - [info]autorocket, 2008-07-01 12:16 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]mew, 2008-07-01 12:20 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]autorocket, 2008-07-01 12:21 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]mew, 2008-07-01 12:22 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]croutonochrist, 2008-07-01 12:18 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]mew, 2008-07-01 12:21 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]mew, 2008-07-01 12:22 am UTC (Expand)

[info]ant_flow
2008-07-01 12:13 am UTC (link)
i read "donates DNA" as michael jacked off and gave out the sperm to be tested

WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME???????

(Reply to this)


[info]bloodlolli
2008-07-01 12:14 am UTC (link)

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(no subject) - [info]getmeacampari, 2008-07-01 12:15 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]gaze, 2008-07-01 12:17 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]fitfortheunfit, 2008-07-01 12:18 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]dnttllhrry, 2008-07-01 12:24 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]rather_ambition, 2008-07-01 12:37 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]babloo328, 2008-07-01 12:47 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]ladytia, 2008-07-01 12:55 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]normalchick, 2008-07-01 01:08 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]love_ology, 2008-07-01 01:21 am UTC (Expand)

[info]shesasuperhero
2008-07-01 12:14 am UTC (link)
I love how it takes him 2 weeks to get the results but on Maury it takes 48 hours.

Maury FTW

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(no subject) - [info]misscrystal, 2008-07-01 12:34 am UTC (Expand)

[info]kitt8kat
2008-07-01 12:17 am UTC (link)
omg luv it

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[info]getmeacampari
2008-07-01 12:17 am UTC (link)
I was hoping that he'd actually BE on the Maury show with the DNA results!

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[info]smashpumpkins21
2008-07-01 12:18 am UTC (link)
ok when i was zippin through the channels today i usually pause long enough to read the Maury headline at the bottom of the screen and today's was my favorite so far: "I can't be the father of your baby. I was in a coma!"

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(no subject) - [info]autorocket, 2008-07-01 12:21 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]hakalina, 2008-07-01 12:21 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]jearsforqueers, 2008-07-01 12:23 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]jearsforqueers, 2008-07-01 12:22 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]applejane, 2008-07-01 12:51 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]mew, 2008-07-01 12:23 am UTC (