CAVIC (![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} cavicouture) wrote in ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/community.gif){kind=small} ohnotheydidnt,@ 2008-04-28 17:07:00 |
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Leah's Toddler Trouble (Interview with US Weekly)
"We acknowledge we're being completely railroaded by our child!" former King of Queens star Leah Remini tells Us. Indeed, daughter and only child, Sofia, who turns 4 in June (dad is husband Angelo Pagan, an actor who has three children from previous relationships), sleeps between the couple every night, wakes up asking for bottle after bottle, wets the bed - and cries hen she doesn't get her way. "When you're in it, you can't see the problem. You get used to it," says Remini, who decided to seek help only after friends and family nagged her. To that end, Remini, 37, and Pagan allowed The Rachel Ray Show to send both pediatrician and no-nonsense mom of three, Stacey Lewis, 41 (from everywaywomen.com), to their L.A. home to come up with solutions. ("It was a challenge," says Lewis.) Remini and Pagan talked to Us reporter Alexis Tereszcuk about the experience.
What bossy behavior does Sofia show?
LR It starts with her waking up. She doesn't want the curtains opened right away; the light bothers her. She likes to dance to classical music. She wants a Popsicle for breakfast? She gets a Popsicle for breakfast. The kid has learned to reason. It's very hard to argue with the cuteness of a 3-year-old saying, "But it's strawberries. It's good for your body." It's tough.
And if you say no?
LR It's a lot of crying. She just recently started a new thing where she says we ruined her whole life. All three years of it! But if we give her the Popsicle, she'll say, "I love my mommy and daddy so much." She'll pull you in for a hug or a kiss. When she dances or puts on little shows, I feel like that is her way of giving back.
And she has slept with you since infancy?
LR The way it started was we were rocking her to sleep and had to put her in her crib at exactly the right time or she would wake up. She would see us leave and then get up and cry. One night we were rocking her, and we lay down out of sheer exhaustion. She rolled off to the middle and never left.
Is she in her own bed now?
LR It isn't an option. She thinks our bed is her bed.
Tell Us about the bottles. She demands them?
AP Sofia got one over on us.
LR She figured out a way to keep the bottle. She said, "Don't give me milk. Give me Lactaid." And how cute is that? We said, "That is still milk," so she said, "Give me water."
Does your pal J.Lo let her get away with this?
LR She is a natural mother. Sofia doesn't pull that crap with Jennifer! Jen says, "No, you're going to eat a little something." As soon as I walk in the room, Sofia says she wants a bottle.
And at night, she wants many bottles, correct?
AP On a rough night, it will take three bottles just to get her out.
LR It will consist of one milk bottle, followed by three water bottles. Then refilling those. Then changing her diaper at 12 when she asks for a bottle.
And she wets the bed?
LR Of course! She does wear a diaper...
AP Plus, we have these huge towels, and we just lay two or three down.
LR Then when she wets the bed we roll the towel back. It's just water.
AP It's a vicious cycle: The pee wakes her up, and then she needs more water bottles to go back to sleep.
LR Now she has six water bottles per night.
AP Sometimes eight.
How much do you sleep?
AP Maybe five hours. Sofia get maybe nine hours - but disrupted hours.
Do you fight at night when you're tired and cranky?
AP Once in a blue moon.
LR We try not to do it where she can hear us, so we mouth some nasty words.
Has it affected your love life?
LR We have not had relations in our bed since our baby was born. That is what the TV room is for!
Did you realize the bottles were a problem?
LR Apparently, at 1 year they are not supposed to be on the bottle. We didn't even know we were doing the wrong thing. Pediatricians told me, but I didn't believe them. She kept waking herself up for water, so I'm thinking she's dehydrated.
What was the final straw?
LR It was everyone around us saying, "You've got to get this kid off the bottle." She was having these emotional ups and downs. The only thing that fixed it was a bottle. It was like a drug.
Rachel Ray sent in Stacey to help. What did she do?
LR Her plan was to have Sofia drink from the bottle without the nipple, no matter how upset she got.
Did it work?
LR Stacey was instrumental in helping us see that we did have a real problem. We realize this is more our problem than Sofia's, because we give in. The pediatrician told us we're hurting her. Kids need 12 hours of sleep.
Ready to be tougher now?
LR In a way, yes, because our job as parents is to protect and guide our child.
What about getting Sofia back into her own bed?
AP We haven't even attempted to get her to seep in a different room.
LR We're still on the bottle situation! We haven't even had that discussion.
Does your belief in Scientology factor into your parenting decisions?
LR Like most religions, we are trying to raise our child with self-respect, dignity, moral values, compassion, and love. We don't always do the right thing, but there's always tomorrow, and we can always do better!
Sofia's Musts
Bottles - She requires up to eight "aqua babas" - bottles filled with water - every night, which Remini and Pagan prepare ahead of time and have sitting on their nightstands.
Mommy and Daddy's Bed - Since infancy, Sofia has slept in between Remini and Pagan in their bed because if they leave her alone in her crib, she cries.
Very specific foods - In addition to Popsicles at breakfast, Sofia has to have the skin peeled off her hot dogs and, says Remini, "she doesn't like her chicken burned but very well done."
The Scientology Factor
Do parents who are Scientologists rear their children differently? L. Ron Hubbard, the religion's late founder, advised parents to "try to be the child's friend," and a source says that Scientologists are instructed not to scold their kids. But F.K. Flinn, an adjunct professor of religious studies at Washington University in St.Louis, tells Us, "It's not that they don't say no, they just don't believe in negative reinforcement." The official word from a Scientology rep? "How a parent disciplines their child is left up to the parent."
Source: Me & my US Weekly magazine (my scanner is broken, otherwise I would've scanned it!)
"We acknowledge we're being completely railroaded by our child!" former King of Queens star Leah Remini tells Us. Indeed, daughter and only child, Sofia, who turns 4 in June (dad is husband Angelo Pagan, an actor who has three children from previous relationships), sleeps between the couple every night, wakes up asking for bottle after bottle, wets the bed - and cries hen she doesn't get her way. "When you're in it, you can't see the problem. You get used to it," says Remini, who decided to seek help only after friends and family nagged her. To that end, Remini, 37, and Pagan allowed The Rachel Ray Show to send both pediatrician and no-nonsense mom of three, Stacey Lewis, 41 (from everywaywomen.com), to their L.A. home to come up with solutions. ("It was a challenge," says Lewis.) Remini and Pagan talked to Us reporter Alexis Tereszcuk about the experience.
What bossy behavior does Sofia show?
LR It starts with her waking up. She doesn't want the curtains opened right away; the light bothers her. She likes to dance to classical music. She wants a Popsicle for breakfast? She gets a Popsicle for breakfast. The kid has learned to reason. It's very hard to argue with the cuteness of a 3-year-old saying, "But it's strawberries. It's good for your body." It's tough.
And if you say no?
LR It's a lot of crying. She just recently started a new thing where she says we ruined her whole life. All three years of it! But if we give her the Popsicle, she'll say, "I love my mommy and daddy so much." She'll pull you in for a hug or a kiss. When she dances or puts on little shows, I feel like that is her way of giving back.
And she has slept with you since infancy?
LR The way it started was we were rocking her to sleep and had to put her in her crib at exactly the right time or she would wake up. She would see us leave and then get up and cry. One night we were rocking her, and we lay down out of sheer exhaustion. She rolled off to the middle and never left.
Is she in her own bed now?
LR It isn't an option. She thinks our bed is her bed.
Tell Us about the bottles. She demands them?
AP Sofia got one over on us.
LR She figured out a way to keep the bottle. She said, "Don't give me milk. Give me Lactaid." And how cute is that? We said, "That is still milk," so she said, "Give me water."
Does your pal J.Lo let her get away with this?
LR She is a natural mother. Sofia doesn't pull that crap with Jennifer! Jen says, "No, you're going to eat a little something." As soon as I walk in the room, Sofia says she wants a bottle.
And at night, she wants many bottles, correct?
AP On a rough night, it will take three bottles just to get her out.
LR It will consist of one milk bottle, followed by three water bottles. Then refilling those. Then changing her diaper at 12 when she asks for a bottle.
And she wets the bed?
LR Of course! She does wear a diaper...
AP Plus, we have these huge towels, and we just lay two or three down.
LR Then when she wets the bed we roll the towel back. It's just water.
AP It's a vicious cycle: The pee wakes her up, and then she needs more water bottles to go back to sleep.
LR Now she has six water bottles per night.
AP Sometimes eight.
How much do you sleep?
AP Maybe five hours. Sofia get maybe nine hours - but disrupted hours.
Do you fight at night when you're tired and cranky?
AP Once in a blue moon.
LR We try not to do it where she can hear us, so we mouth some nasty words.
Has it affected your love life?
LR We have not had relations in our bed since our baby was born. That is what the TV room is for!
Did you realize the bottles were a problem?
LR Apparently, at 1 year they are not supposed to be on the bottle. We didn't even know we were doing the wrong thing. Pediatricians told me, but I didn't believe them. She kept waking herself up for water, so I'm thinking she's dehydrated.
What was the final straw?
LR It was everyone around us saying, "You've got to get this kid off the bottle." She was having these emotional ups and downs. The only thing that fixed it was a bottle. It was like a drug.
Rachel Ray sent in Stacey to help. What did she do?
LR Her plan was to have Sofia drink from the bottle without the nipple, no matter how upset she got.
Did it work?
LR Stacey was instrumental in helping us see that we did have a real problem. We realize this is more our problem than Sofia's, because we give in. The pediatrician told us we're hurting her. Kids need 12 hours of sleep.
Ready to be tougher now?
LR In a way, yes, because our job as parents is to protect and guide our child.
What about getting Sofia back into her own bed?
AP We haven't even attempted to get her to seep in a different room.
LR We're still on the bottle situation! We haven't even had that discussion.
Does your belief in Scientology factor into your parenting decisions?
LR Like most religions, we are trying to raise our child with self-respect, dignity, moral values, compassion, and love. We don't always do the right thing, but there's always tomorrow, and we can always do better!
Sofia's Musts
Bottles - She requires up to eight "aqua babas" - bottles filled with water - every night, which Remini and Pagan prepare ahead of time and have sitting on their nightstands.
Mommy and Daddy's Bed - Since infancy, Sofia has slept in between Remini and Pagan in their bed because if they leave her alone in her crib, she cries.
Very specific foods - In addition to Popsicles at breakfast, Sofia has to have the skin peeled off her hot dogs and, says Remini, "she doesn't like her chicken burned but very well done."
The Scientology Factor
Do parents who are Scientologists rear their children differently? L. Ron Hubbard, the religion's late founder, advised parents to "try to be the child's friend," and a source says that Scientologists are instructed not to scold their kids. But F.K. Flinn, an adjunct professor of religious studies at Washington University in St.Louis, tells Us, "It's not that they don't say no, they just don't believe in negative reinforcement." The official word from a Scientology rep? "How a parent disciplines their child is left up to the parent."
Source: Me & my US Weekly magazine (my scanner is broken, otherwise I would've scanned it!)
