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Top 5 Dentist Movies
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I have to go to the dentist in a few days. It’s always a slightly uneasy experience, mostly thanks to Sir Laurence Olivier. He played Dr. Christian Szell, the Nazi dentist, in Marathon Man, which is the No. 1 scary movie about dentists. “Is it safe?,” he asks poor Dustin Hoffman before drilling another hole into his teeth, leading Hoffman to scream that yes, it’s safe and no, it isn’t safe. Anything to stop the drilling.


Dentists don’t do very well at the movies, all in all, which is too bad because they’re wonderful people in real life (and by the way, doctor, yes, it’s safe.) Here is the rest of my Top 5 All-Time Dental Movies:

2. Little Shop of Horrors: Another horror show dentist, a sadistic biker played with hilarious panache by Steve Martin. Key line: “The guy sure looks like plant food to me,” says the man-eating plant Audrey, which, come to think of it, bears an uncanny resemblance to that thing growing in the corner of my dentist’s waiting room.

I love Bill Murray's orgasmic appointment in this. I sort of like Bill Murray.

3. Finding Nemo: The hero of this animated film winds up in the fish tank at the office of a dentist who unaccountably seems to care more for the desires of his spoiled daughter than he does for what’s in his aquarium. The fish-eye view of dental procedures is probably the most accurate portrayal of dentistry in movies. Also very good on the inner lives of seagulls.


4. The Secret Lives of Dentists: Campbell Scott is a dentist whose wife may be having an affair. It’s about the problems of modern marriage, with tooth-cleaning and cavity-filling as a metaphor for relationships, which isn’t so strange, come to think of it. Have you flossed your love life lately? Key line: “Death is nothing to a tooth.”


5. Carrie. Just kidding. Little dental joke there. Is it safe?


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