ohnotheydidnt: Inside Suri's strange world

Your resident Clooney stan (

umhellothere) wrote in

ohnotheydidnt,
@ 2008-02-20 17:41:00

Inside Suri's strange world

STAR magazine taking us inside suri cruise's 'strange world' - no surprises here - of course she's living in a strange world - run by the crazy tom cruise - mom katie holmes is just doing her stepford duties - you know tom runs the show! in this strange world - there's no televison - or happy meals - gasp! i can understand a parent not allowing their kids to watch TV but you simply cannot deny a child a happy meal (they first appeared in june of 1979) from mcdonalds - at least every now & again - it doesn't have to be a weekly thing! although the happy meals today seem to be on the weak side - just like cracker jacks - the toy surprises certainly aren't what they used to be!

there's also no medicine allowed in the household - just 'herbs' - i'm assuming that has something to do with scientology which suri is currently being 'programmed' with from an early age - via play dates with xenu himself probably! i'm not one to knock people's beliefs but you have to admit it all sounds simply ridiculous! as for the paternity of suri - i was talking with my pal joey at work today - and we both agreed she really does look like a combination of tom & katie - i don't believe any of the conspiracy theories out there - suri is for sure the (adorable) spawn of cruise!

the other cast of characters on the cover includes brad pitt & angelina jolie with word of a $200 million dollar prenup deal (if they do get hitched they'd be dummies to not have an agreement in place) there's pregnant jamie lynn spears hating her baby bump (probably not the best fashion statement for a 16 year old...) and last but not least jennifer aniston trying to have a baby via in vitro fertilization - maybe she doesn't even want kids - it's totally fine for a woman to not procreate - after all the hemming & hawing over her being pregnant - when and if she actually becomes pregnant

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(344 comments) - (Post a new comment)

	3mcoopandmaxie 2008-02-20 05:46 pm UTC (link)
	LOL how many times have Brangelina been married now according to Star? pathetic Suri is a qt (Reply to this) (Thread)

	umhellothere 2008-02-20 05:48 pm UTC (link)
	I think they just couldn't be bothered coming up with anything new this week Suri has a fucked up life, Brangelina are getting married and Jennifer is of course desperate for a child because she couldn't possibly be happy without one. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	rampant_geekery 2008-02-20 05:46 pm UTC (link)
	No Happy Meals?! WELL I NEVER. (Reply to this) (Thread)(Expand)

(Reply from suspended user)

	suspiria 2008-02-20 05:46 pm UTC (link)
	like no Happy Meals is a bad thing .. (Reply to this) (Thread)(Expand)

	massunm 2008-02-20 05:56 pm UTC (link)
	IKR? A kid who isn't even school age yet does not need a fucking happy meal, she doesn't even need the healthier version. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	3mcoopandmaxie 2008-02-20 05:47 pm UTC (link)
	omg dimetapp <3 (Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)(Expand)

	mattchew03 2008-02-20 05:46 pm UTC (link)
	i wouldn't want a happy meal either if i got to eat the shit that she probably gets to have every day (Reply to this) (Thread)

	bullard 2008-02-20 05:46 pm UTC (link)
	i want to rescue her (Reply to this)

	amphigory 2008-02-20 05:47 pm UTC (link)
	I feel like when one is a $cientoligist, one's IQ is by default, negligent. (Reply to this) (Thread)(Expand)

	mosha_1 2008-02-20 08:27 pm UTC (link)
	I think you are right. Cant be ANY smart folks in that shit. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	forevar 2008-02-20 05:47 pm UTC (link)
	uhh. happy meals are attrociously unhealthy. they better not feed her happy meals with their millions. why is that such a big deal to this writer (Reply to this) (Thread)(Expand)

	forevar 2008-02-20 05:50 pm UTC (link)
	omg atrociously tho :( (Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)(Expand)

	chelsea2162 2008-02-20 05:47 pm UTC (link)
	NO HAPPY MEALS? good lord, how will she ever live up to american obesity standards now?? (Reply to this) (Thread)

	celtic_thistle 2008-02-20 09:05 pm UTC (link)
	haha srsly. I NEVER had a Happy Meal as a child. Ever. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	bluefire311 2008-02-20 05:47 pm UTC (link)
	omg (Reply to this)

	bodyparts 2008-02-20 05:48 pm UTC (link)
	NO HAPPY MEALS NO TV OH MY GOD THAT'S LIKE... my childhood. edit: but that was because we were poor. these renobs have the money to feed their kid steamed organic vegetables or whatever. Edited at 2008-02-20 05:49 pm UTC (Reply to this) (Thread)(Expand)

	dwlikeebeinlost 2008-02-20 05:48 pm UTC (link)
	NO HAPPY MEALS! OH THE HORRAH! (Reply to this)

	marefrigoris 2008-02-20 05:48 pm UTC (link)
	how can not having happy meals or television be strange? i think it's good. babies don't need to be propped in front of the television. (Reply to this) (Thread)(Expand)

	forevar 2008-02-20 05:49 pm UTC (link)
	werd (Reply to this) (Parent)

	hollsh 2008-02-20 05:48 pm UTC (link)
	My four and two year olds have never had Happy Meals. OMG I'm such a bad parent. (Reply to this) (Thread)(Expand)

	inshouha_porno 2008-02-20 05:48 pm UTC (link)
	omg suri is adorable~ (Reply to this)

	oh_sadsies 2008-02-20 05:49 pm UTC (link)
	All those hyphens made me want to die. (Reply to this)

	janelleandheart 2008-02-20 05:49 pm UTC (link)
	I hope for her sake Suri never gets seriously ill. (Reply to this) (Thread)(Expand)

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	_mscaligurl_ 2008-02-20 06:16 pm UTC (link)
	That's what I was thinking. Poor bb. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	marefrigoris 2008-02-20 05:52 pm UTC (link)
	yeah but at the rate of most americans, i've always seen families go to mcdonald's and order their kids fucking big macs. (Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)(Expand)

	euphrosyna 2008-02-20 05:50 pm UTC (link)
	Um, surely it's a GOOD thing that she's not eating McDonalds and watching TV. She's not even 2 yet. But the medicine thing is a bit freaky. (Reply to this)

	vanillakokakola 2008-02-20 05:51 pm UTC (link)
	NO HAPPY MEALS?! How is she going to be happy unless her family gives her the opportunity to be overweight?! (Reply to this)

	palmettohaven 2008-02-20 05:51 pm UTC (link)
	I'm just confused as to why this was necessary: i can understand a parent not allowing their kids to watch TV but you simply cannot deny a child a happy meal (they first appeared in june of 1979)* from mcdonalds* (Reply to this) (Thread)(Expand)

	movielooney 2008-02-20 05:54 pm UTC (link)
	I loled. What kind of logic is that? (Reply to this) (Parent)

	rebel_waltz 2008-02-20 05:51 pm UTC (link)
	does Scientology do vaccinations? (Reply to this) (Thread)(Expand)

	rampant_geekery 2008-02-20 05:54 pm UTC (link)
	THOSE ARE XENU'S SEED. NEVER SPEAK THAT WORD AGAIN. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	laurens_bonanza 2008-02-20 05:52 pm UTC (link)
	Holy hyphens, Batman. Is there no other way they could have written the article? That was painful. (Reply to this)

	nerice6 2008-02-20 05:53 pm UTC (link)
	I'm still trying to figure out where she got her nose from............. (Reply to this) (Thread)(Expand)