That's What She Said! - An Office Meta Community

Somewhere along the line, someone decided that graph paper was clearly superior to lined paper for writing in straight lines, that standardization in paper products (and freedom in school) was for wimps and losers, and that whoever thought doors should be easy to open from the inside in case of an emergency was clearly stoned. This person was Chief Engineer to the King of France, who was too inbred and worried about the price of bread to realize what a terrible idea it was, so he made it law.

At least, that's my theory. It ignores things like history and common sense, but it's my theory and I'm sticking to it.

But I love the way Paris woos me when I start to get weary. I get sick of the constant struggle to understand the basic concept of what people are saying and the difficulty in arranging my own words into some semblance of grammar, of the absurd cold so early in the season, of the fact that you have a push a button to open the door from the inside, and Paris escorts me out of class into one of those early fall days where there are leavings falling and brisk gusts of wind, but it's so warm you can't bring yourself to wear long sleeves. She lures me down to the Seine when I'm innocently searching for a bank, drops a cheap gyro in my lap, and leads me to the riverbank to eat my lunch accompanied by a street performer playing folk tunes on an accordion. As I'm walking home, she reminds me that there's excellent gelato on my route, and then serenades me with Coldplay's salsa version of "Clocks". And as I find my way back home, she shows me that if I'm ever within a mile of home but don't know how to get there, all I need to do is follow the signs to the freaking art museum that's right next door.

And suddenly, I'm falling back in love. (Best. Girlfriend. EVER.)

1. Without its lining of Kelley, your stomach would digest itself.
2. The first American zoo was built in 1794, and contained only Kelley!
3. The difference between Kelley and a village is that Kelley does not have a church.
4. Ostriches stick their heads in Kelley not to hide but to look for water.
5. Ancient Greeks believed earthquakes were caused by Kelley fighting underground.
6. Kelley is incapable of sleep.
7. Scientists believe that Kelley began billions of years ago as an enormous ball of dust and gas.
8. It's bad luck to put Kelley on a bed!
9. Kelleyicide is the killing of Kelley.
10. A lump of Kelley the size of a matchbox can be flattened into a sheet the size of a tennis court!

I am interested in - do tell me aboutherhimitthem

</div>

Post the 1st 10. No re-dos.
http://thesurrealist.co.uk/shakespeare.php?word

1. I owe him little Kelley and less love.
2. How now! a Kelley? Dead, for a ducat, dead!
3. O excellent! I love Kelley better than figs.
4. Oh beware, my lord, of jealousy! It is the green-eyed monster which doth mock The Kelley it feeds on. 
5. Will all great Neptune's oceans wash this blood
   Clean from my Kelley? No, this my Kelley will rather
   The multitudinous seas incarnadine.
6. If music be the Kelley of love, play on.
7. I shall despair. There is no creature loves me;
   And if I die no Kelley will pity me.
8. We have heard the Kelley at midnight.
9. Presume not that I am the Kelley I was.
10. All the world's a Kelley And all the men and women merely players. 

http://thesurrealist.co.uk/disease.cgi

Cause: early mornings

Symptoms: extreme dehydration, mild levitation, squeaky voice

Cure: cryogenic freezing until science catches up

http://thesurrealist.co.uk/dungeon?user=kell887

try my dungeon. It's fun.

I shall now do rose_sparrow's.

( Dungeon meme )</div>

( You are about to view content that may not be appropriate for minors. )

In case of loss, please return to:
Dumbledore Calrissian

As a reward: $ 2 copper pieces

Happy Monday! I hope it isn't raining where you are. Makes the day start out that much more wonderful, agreed?

We went by Bab's yesterday for Ham's birthday. it was nice.  i took a lot of pictures of her new kitties, poori and hoodlum, but havent uploaded them like it's hot yet. 

in other stuff, i am going to that party.  andy assured me that there will be no sleeping over at anyone's dorm and that i'll get home somehow.  i'm not entirely thrilled about going at all but i get to wear my costume twice so at least there's that.  i've been told that andy's friend, the one hosting it, wants "mad ladies" at his party (mad meaning a lot) and the joker costume does include  some good nut breaking shoes so things should be fine since i don't take too kindly to that kind of thing.  i doubt that anyone will be that stupid to try stuff or to chat me up though. 

the party, itself, is only from 7 to 11 and that's not too many hours of wasted time.  honestly, i was looking forward to a quiet day and then a kevin nasherific sunday.  there will still be the sunday and saturday is a bust now but it's not like i never get to do what i want on the weekends anyway. 

 First of all, I am THE MASTER OF THE KNOWN UNIVERSE for doing my to-do list! Yes, ok, I didn't complete everything but I devoted all the necessary time and on Tuesday, I'll be up to snuff. Which is awesome. I'm looking forward to my day off tomorrow. And a real real real day off: no alarm clock, mofo's! 

Also tomorrow (erm, today) is a new episode of CHUCK. Which I have developed a very large love for in the last, oh, week. It's just kind of amazing and lighthearted with action and awesome people and wow. It's great. It's nice to have a Monday show. The week isn't as long because I don't have to wait for just Thursday, I have Mondays too! Also, there is basically no interpretation or analysis or rewatch needed for Chuck (though I am greatly -ahem- rewarded for doing so). Though all that has it's place and I do devote hours to the Office...it's nice to just full on enjoy somthething. So yay.

Also of note is that Chuck is the first show I have unabashedly looked for spoilers for. And spoilers I found! Synopisi for the next 10 episodes, spoiler clips for the next 2....I won't post anything, but I am SUPER stoked. Like, SUPER SUPER stoked. My spoiler experience in the past has been negative, but the stuff I found won't take away from the episode (as the show doesn't really use surprise as a crutch) and furthermore, makes me a whole bunch more excited to watch! Which, yay! 

Also, mark my words, if Sarah cries at any point in the next 10 2 episodes I will seriously lose my shit in the best possible way. There's just so many ways and GAH it's going to be amaaaaazing! fjkhfahjdsfjhsakjs. That's how excited I am. Lose. My. Shit.

The topic is fate vs. free will. What should I call it?

*"The Future is Set"

or

*"No Fate But What God Makes"

I hate that I had to go through this interpretation because a) it's so defeatist and b) I can't use the real quotes!

ETA: Option three: "From now on, I'm Fate's Bitch"

Come on, you knew it was coming. I'm fully embracing this show and saying OMG I FREAKING LOVE THIS SHOW I WANT TO HAVE ITS FREAKY VAMPIRE BABIES!!! Seriously. I wish they hadn't focused so much on the obscene sex and crappy effects in the beginning, because the show is so much better without it, but people don't know that because they abandoned the show before it got good. *sigh* This was another ep made of perfection (except for the pie scene. That damn scene lasted 5 minutes. It got me in the first minute, but after that I said, "Okay, let's move on." I feared that they would spend the last 15 minutes just showing Sookie eating pie and bawling her eyes out. Totally ruined the emotion in that scene for me because I was laughing at the ridiculous length of the damn thing, but other than that, awesome episode). Bill continues to be a sex god, Jason continues to flaunt his pretty body and do stupid stupid things, and Sam and Tara continue to make me squee like a madman. Especially tonight.

Speaking of Sam/Tara, I spent ages looking for some icons, and I found a total of one person who made any. Everyone else is doing Jason/Tara and Sam/Sookie. WHY MUST FANDOM ALWAYS FAIL ME? WHY? I'm finally shipping canon, damn it! Why must I always ship the obscure pairing with no fandom? This makes me sad. Very very sad. Especially since they are so splediferous and deserve so much love. They killed me tonight. KILLED ME! I honestly don't get why people would ever ship Sam/Sookie. It turns me off in so many ways. Sam's such a lunatic around Sookie, he scares me. And Sookie. Plus, you know, I'm madly in love with Bill, and Bill digs Sookie, and I just want him to be happy. And despite Bill/Sookie not being my OTP, I do love their intensity. I adore Sam too, but there is no way in hell that he and Sookie would ever be happy. He loves her too much and she doesn't love him enough. Think Soames/Irene from The Forsyte Saga (except Sam's not quite that socially inept, but his obsession level is pretty much the same, and he tries way too hard, which is what turns Sookie off of him). But he's so comfortable around Tara, totally himself, and he knows how to break through her argumentative facade, and she knows how to get him to not take himself so seriously. YOU GUYS! THEY ARE SO PERFECT! GAAAAAAAAAH! But damn Tara and her stupid love for Jason. ARGH! No, I'm loving it. Confused Sam is good. As is guilty Tara. And they both have to get over their obsessions with the Stackhouses and realize that they need each other, which won't happen for ages, which I'm happy about, because I dig that sort of thing.

Anyway, tonight's episode made me laugh, it made me cry, it made me squee, and it almost made me orgasm. For serious. The ending. That last scene. That moment that made me jump and left me a little breathless. OMG BILL PLEASE DO ME NOW! But leave your fangs at home.

Man. This show is such an anomaly. I usually can't stand vampire stuff. I guess because they treat it like racism instead of the supernatural, so that takes out the sci-fi element that tends to turn me off. I love this show, guys. I love it! I really am going to have to change my tag now. I'll give it another week. This ep and last week's will be pretty hard to top.

I went to Trader Joes to pick up meat for dinner. While I was there, I noticed they were sampling Pumpkin Spice Cake at the demo booth, which I was like, "Eh -- okay, I'll try it." (I'm not generally one to turn down a free sample.) As I tasted it, I thought, "This is decent," and moved on to continue my shopping. But as I walked through the store, I could not get the taste of that pumpkin cake out of my head, and literally had to turn around so I could go back and buy it. Seriously. It's good.

Pumpkin spice is one thing I really love about fall. I love pumpkin spice lattes and cupcakes and pies and cakes and ravioli and just -- mmm. I also have been waiting for my first opportunity to sample some apple cider donuts. Every opportunity I've wanted to take to go to an apple orchard has thus far been thwarted. Maybe this week!

Also, I keep surfing Craigslist for things I don't need to be buying. I can't help myself. I keep looking for cheap upgrades. I found a person who's selling a Peg Perego Prima Pappa high chair for fairly cheap. I wouldn't have even looked at it if my sister didn't have this chair. I love hers. I bought my (Graco) high chair at a garage sale. It's in great shape, but the wheels don't really roll on it and it's got a Winnie The Pooh design on it - which isn't really my style. Waiting to hear back from her.

Then I found someone who's selling a brand-new UPPAbaby Vista stroller for quite a bit less than retail. Another thing I don't need -- but I really love this stroller. Gah, stupid baby things.

I'm going to pick up a couple pairs of brand new Jack & Janie shoes that someone is selling for 1/4 of retail price. This, I can sort of attest to needing, because Dexter likes to walk on the ground [when I hold his hands], so I need to be putting shoes on him. I have a couple pairs, but am always looking for more!

Speaking of the little man -- how about some picspam??

( Because there's never a bad time for picspam. )

Anyway, I'd better go. I have quite a few things to get done tomorrow, and don't want to be dying. I need all the energy I can get to just keep up with Dex.

So, I took my first acting workshop in years today.  At the behest of my 'agent.'  We'll put 'agent' in quotation marks 'til she actually comes up with some work for me.

For the most part, it was alright.  The speaker was an L.A. producer, Marilyn Atlas, and she was a strong force, but the class itself?  Not scintillating.  I learned a little about auditioning for film, but nothing common sense would not have told me.  And it was a workshop for teens and adults?  But there were KIDS there.  Like 12 year-old giggly girls.  I really tried to keep the eye rolling to a minimum.  Some of them were extremely talented, but most of them just need to go hang out at the mall food court.  Don't waste my time, or anyone else's. 

One of them patted my arm when I finished a scene and said, "That was so good.  What, are you like, twenty five?"

I... might have sneered at her.  Do not PAT me.  I rocked that little workshop.  Pimped myself, as it were.  My soul is a little sore from being sold all afternoon .

Grah.  Fricking agent.  Acting.  Blah.

So, yes.  Please.  Get me  voiceovers if you don't like my weight, and quit telling me I need to lose a few, or get me a freaking Jenny Craig commercial for crying out loud.  But no more workshops with the preteen set, and if it's all the same to you, come up with more challenging material.

Thanks.

Why is it that EVERYONE who is renting out a room in SF is a creep? Tina and I have been setting up appointments and checking through the room for rent classifieds and so far all we've found is that everyone in SF either wants sex, likes to show us their guns, or isn't home!

If anyone knows of a decent person renting out a room, please let me know. I've got 2 months in this tiny dorm room left and then I've either got to find a place or move in with my pops. Ain't gonna move back in with daddy, that's for sure.

Homeless shelter, here I come!

A host of old people has descended upon my house. Half of them rhyme Obama with "Alabama" and half with "La Bamba," but none of them approve of the way he'd run this country of ours, they'll tell you what. That Bare-rack Obamma, he wants to socialize everything. That Bar-rock Obahmba, he's dishonest about his associates. You can't trust him. Look at him, you know you can't trust him. What he'll do to this country. What he'll do.

I couldn't tell you my exact relation to all of them. Great aunts and uncles, mostly, but I don't know what side. A great-grandmother, too--possibly my last surviving great-grandmother--lean and frail with wisps of hair and a wisp of a voice, halting and repetitive, worn nearly silent. She pulls you close when she talks, taking your face in her hands, fragile skin and a vice grip. You're so pretty. You're so pretty. You look just like your daddy. You're so pretty, but you used to have blonde hair. Do you remember? You used to have blonde hair.

I remember. I was really little, but I've seen pictures.

You were so precious. So precious. You're so pretty.

I don't know these people. All I know about them is that they look sort like my mom. I don't know anything about them. I don't know them at all.

They all pronounce "Palin" correctly. They like her.

Title: AngelaAndyDotCom
Author: </a></b></a>redwhitedresses (Lissa)
Pairing/Character: Andy/Angela, Dwight/Angela
Rating: PG (for safety)
Summary: Andy makes a website and shows it off to Angela. Dwight does not approve.
Spoilers: Up to Weight Loss.
Author's Note: I just couldn't help myself =] Sorry if it has already been done, but I had quite a bit of fun writing it. ^^ Also I'm not really used to writing Andy, Angela, or Dwight, so... I really hope I have them in character! -crossesfingers-


-~-


( Andy Bernard sat at his computer, humming a catchy tune as he clicked away at different windows on the screen.  )

How To Get Me Up in the Morning, Produced, Directed and Performed by my father. Show times will vary. Limited engagement is guaranteed.

Father: Get up and I'll buy you a donut.
Me: Nnngh.
Father: How about a bagel? A toasted bagel with cream cheese, dripping in butter.
Me: NNNNGH.
Father: Okay, Jesus, you sound like a zombie. It's 9 AM and you sound like you died last night.
Me, flopping over: Gruntsnuffle.
Father: What if I told you Steve Carell was filming at the shopping center up the street? Would you get up then?
Me, alert: Yes.
Father, getting a glint in his eyes: So there are some things that will get you up in the morning.
Me: I suppose...
Father: What if I told you he was there with Ryan? And they were making out?
Me: Really, Dad? Really? Are you doing this to me now?
Father, grinning: What if I told you they were eating hot dogs?
Me: I--
Father: What if I told you they were eating the same hot dog, and they were going to meet in the middle? I bet you'd get up then, to see that.
Me: You do realize this must violate some sort of normal father/daughter confidentiality protocol. I'm disturbed how well you know me.
Father, clapping hands together: Right, ok then! Up and at'em, kiddo.
Me: I never agreed to get up.
Father, leaving the room: No, but you're lucid! Now you have no excuse to stay in bed.
Me: Oh my God.
Father: *LAUGHING IN VICTORY DOWN THE HALL*
Me, calling after him: THAT WAS A DIRTY, DIRTY TRICK, YOU KNOW.

And then thirty minutes later, I shuffled out of bed, grumpy at having been manipulated out of an extra hour or so of uninterrupted sleep. SIGH. Sometimes I think life would be easier if I hadn't opened my father's eyes to slash fandom. But dammit if he doesn't provide an endless track of entertaining dialogue.

Three posts in one day? Must be a lazy weekend. :D

1. Happy turkey day fellow Canadians and Robin Sherbotsky!

2. Still waking up with Doctor Horrible lyrics in my head (everyone's a hero in their own way! In their own not that heroic way).

( 3. The Office 5x02 )

( 4. SPN 4x04 )

4. NEXT WEEK IS GONNA BE SO FUN.



*giggle giggle*. OH, PRETTY BOYS REDUCING ME TO MY 13 YEAR OLD SELF.

My good friend and neighbor, Gary, has a son named Frank who was involved in an accident last month. He was riding a bicycle on his college campus when someone made an illegal turn and hit him going about 15 mph. Frank flew across the hood of the car and landed squarely on his face. For three days, Frank was in a coma at the hospital. Gary told me that he didn't even recognize his own son when he first saw him in the hospital.

It took two surgeries and seven titanium plates for the doctors to rebuild Frank's face.

I happened to see Frank today. He walks without any sort of limp, and, except for the fact that his jaw is wired shut and thus affecting his speech at the moment, you'd never know he'd been in an accident. There is not a single scar on his face, and he looks perfectly normal. He is in good spirits and jokes about how he couldn't pass up the opportunity for a face lift.

A testament to the skill of the surgeons? Absolutely.

Proof of the resilience of the human spirit? You bet.

Do I believe in miracles? Without a doubt.

So I'm almost done with that God forsaking Art School Report that I had to do for Advanced Art. "It should only take an hour to get the information and put it together." That's total bullcrap because I started working on it at about 12:00, and it's 2:30 now and I've still got 2 more things to fill in. But since she said it's not due till Tuesday, I think I'll stop working on it for today. Completeing 15 out of 17 sections feels like an accomplishment since college websites HATE me because they all just LOVE to be annoying and impossible to navigate through. >_<;

I guess now I'll do my English assignment, which is to finish reading the last chapter of The Stranger. And if I feel up to it, MAYBE I'll start to work on the questions for the book, but those are also due on Tuesday, so maybe I'll just do them during lunch tomorrow or something since I don't have any Pre-Calc homework to do that period.

But yeah, hopefully I'll be able to do fun things again in about 30 minutes or so.

See ya! ;)

~Melissa~

Classes for Spring semester went up yesterday.

All in favor of me taking rock climbing, please say "aye"

I love being a senior.

Once again, I've updated my icon roster. WHY CAN'T I EVER SETTLE ON ICONS FOR LONG PERIODS OF TIME!? *sigh* At least it's now full of awesome Psych icons (such as the hilarious Buzz icon that I'm using right now ♥). And I kicked out the Pokémon icons because I hardly use them anymore. XD;

Anyways, since I still haven't found a store with a good deal on the Psych s2 DVDs (except for walmart.com, but I'm still holding out for an actual store rather than a website), I'm cheating this year and downloading the DVD rips before I actually own the DVDs so that I can start to work on the jumbo post. However, now I'm thinking about doing 3 posts: one for each season. Even though I've been religiously following the show since 1x07 aired (the first episode I ever saw), I realized that I didn't do a ton of episode rants. And even when I did, some of them were relatively short. Plus making a post for each season will give me an excuse to rewatch every episode, which is something that I haven't done in a VERY long time. So yeah, now I'm really looking forward to this. I might even attempt to start today if I ever stop procrastinating and finally do my homework.

Oh, and I've been playing a lot of Mario Kart over the past few days. And by a lot, I mean that I've gone back and played all of the games I have for the series. I'm tempted to do some sort of a comparison post for those games. I could talk about how confused my brain was after messing around with the Wii Wheel in MKWii, and then trying to tilt my DS while I was driving in MK Super Circuit, my brain still thinking that I was using the wheel. XD;

See ya! ;)

~Melissa~