New filker here; I've just stumbled on this community and, after having woken my housemates with maniacal laughter, decided to post something I came up with. I'm not sure if this really counts as filk, since it's not technically a folk song. I seem to be much better at fitting obscene lyrics to things that aren't folk... is there a word for that? (Besides 'childish'?)



(To the tune of Santa Claus Is Coming To Town.)

Oh,
You'd better not shout,
You'd better not cry,
Or it's the ballgag and a nasty black eye.
Santa Claus is owning your arse.

He's making a list,
He's checking it twice,
He's rubbing your body all over with ice.
Santa Claus is owning your arse.

He sees you when you're sleeping.
When you're awake he knows.
He'll masturbate into your hair and put on your pantyhose.

You'd better not shout,
You'd better not squirm,
'Cos you're his slut now, you sick little worm.
Santa Claus is owning your arse.