Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in obscene_filkers' LiveJournal:

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Friday, September 28th, 2007
12:08 pm [dougs]	Clues and Gropes listed on Nova Awards site Now that I've finally sent a paper copy of Clues and Gropes to the Nova Award Administrator, it's listed on the Nova awards site. If you read fanzines and you're going to Novacon, then please make an effort to vote for the best fanzines, fan artists and fan writers in the Nova Awards. (Comment on this)
Friday, April 13th, 2007
5:20 pm [dougs]	Eastercon 2007 We had an Obscene Filking Workshop at Eastercon this year, for which purpose watervole and I put together a booklet of obscene filks under the title "Clues and Gropes", now available for download at eFanzines.com on this page. During the workshop, the participants produced ( the following ) (Comment on this)
Monday, March 19th, 2007
6:47 pm [dougs]	How many ways... How many ways can somebody be tied ( other than in an English Country Garden? ) (Comment on this)
11:13 am [watervole]	Song Book for Contemplation dougs and myself are running the obscene filk session at Contemplation. We may put together a small song-book. Has anyone got any favourite songs (to well-known tunes) that the'd like to suggest for inclusion? (Comment on this)
Monday, March 12th, 2007
7:46 am [dougs]	The Single Polyamorist's Lament I'd previously posted this in polyamory and filk, and then it was suggested that I posted it here too. TTTO "The Recruited Collier" [tune]. ( The Single Polyamorist's Lament ) (Comment on this)
Saturday, February 17th, 2007
5:49 pm [dougs]	Inflatable Sheep Inspired by something we saw at London Imperial. All items mentioned were available if you had the right coins. TTTO "Blow the man down". ( Read more... ) (Comment on this)
Friday, May 26th, 2006
1:11 pm [dougs]	Squick in fanfic. Very much a work in progress: Initial doodlings, having been prompted to write a media-sf-fan version of an Andrew Lloyd Webber musical. TTTO "I know him so well", from "Chess". Yes, I know this is a Tim Rice lyric to a Bjorn/Benny tune, and nothing to do with ALW. Never mind. In the original musical this number is sung by two female voices, and at certain points one interrupts the other with a different line: this is what the square brackets are for. Sometimes what I write can squick a friend or two. Perverts fill my fanfic and my dreams, So when you beta things I send to you Please forgive my squick-inducing scenes. Looking back, I could yet write it differently, Take out all the stuff that makes you pout, But it takes time to understand the man, Now at least I know him inside out. Wasn't it bad? [oh so bad] Wasn't it sick? [oh so sick] Couldn't that badness stay in my fic? In the end we need a little bit more than squick. [Oh, the readership!] I need my fantasy and freedom. You know me so well. (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, October 15th, 2005
12:21 am [dougs]	After Burns -- to Fisting Further to a conversation the other day, I was challenged to write an "Ode to Fisting", after the style of Burns' Ode to a Haggis. You can google for "Robert Burns" "To a Haggis" and find the original text and some translations into modern English. To Fisting, by dougs. ( Fair spread your honest, eager glutes, Great Chieftain of SM pursuits! ) (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, September 23rd, 2005
12:31 pm [the_whybird]	New filker here; I've just stumbled on this community and, after having woken my housemates with maniacal laughter, decided to post something I came up with. I'm not sure if this really counts as filk, since it's not technically a folk song. I seem to be much better at fitting obscene lyrics to things that aren't folk... is there a word for that? (Besides 'childish'?) ( The Santa Claus Song ) (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Saturday, June 4th, 2005
7:46 pm [watervole]	Roll me over I was listening to this on a CD of wartime songs the other day and thought it would very easily become obscene. I looked on the web and discovered that other people had been there before us - grin. This is my varient. I wonder what the rest of you can come up with? We've tried it once or twice And found it rather nice Chorus: Roll me over lay me down and do it again Roll me over in the clover, roll me over lay me down and do it again Oh this is number one And the fun has just begun Oh this is number two, And he's laid me in the dew Oh this is number three And he's tied me to a tree Oh this is number four And he's been there twice before Oh this is number five And I'm feeling so alive Oh this is number six, And he's got me doin tricks Well this is number seven, And he took me straight to heaven Oh this is number eight, He bent me o'er the garden gate Oh this is number nine, And the welts are doin' fine Oh this is number ten, And when he's through we'll do it again (Comment on this)
Sunday, March 20th, 2005
10:28 pm [frandowdsofa]	Paragon2 - obscene filking Adult Filking – hosted by the Obscene Filkers LiveJournal Community. A combination performance / workshop event, bring your instruments, songs, or just ideas for us to work on. is scheduled for 9pm, Friday night. Current Mood: bouncy Current Music: Worms, the Pogues (Comment on this)
Sunday, January 9th, 2005
9:34 pm [watervole]	Of Feline Bondage Of Feline Bondage I'm spending a few days with [info]predatrix. I've been showing her a few handy things to do with rope and the cats were taking an interest. Pred suggested the title, blame me for the rest... "Of Feline Bondage" Tune - It seems to fit pretty well to 'Mademoiselle from Armentiers' (also known as 'Inky Pinky Parleyz Vous') (also 'Mit mine niggerum, beggerum, stinkum') I've seen you working with your bits of rope, I have to say I think it's all a joke, You can try it on your partner, but we'll soon see who is smarter, If you ever try that rope on me! For I'll scratch you and I'll claw you if you do, I'll use my teeth to bite your finger through, Although I'm fat and lazy, only touch me if you're crazy, I'm a higher form of life than you! You may demonstrate your wrist and ankle ties, You can try until the tears come to your eyes, If you try to tie my paws up, it will only get my claws up, Anyone who ties me dies! You may dangle all the ends upon the floor, I will even deign to chase them out the door, I will mix them in a tangle, 'till your nerves are all a-jangle, Help! How do I get out of this mess? (Comment on this)
Saturday, January 8th, 2005
5:33 pm [frandowdsofa]	Paragon2 - obscene filking Would anyone be interested in having a late late night opportunity to perform / workshop some obscene filks at Paragon2 at Easter? Current Mood: energetic (5 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, December 19th, 2004
8:58 pm [spacefall]	A Festive Slashy Filk The writers who frequent b7_rpg sometimes slink off into the corner known as AU, to devise strange scenarios of a sometimes smutty nature. Being timeshifted from the regular posters, I often wake up to a new AU scene or three in my RSS feed. Really, there's nothing like a slice of bizarre slash for breakfast. This morning I awoke to a particularly festive bit of roleplay featuring Kerr Avon, a green velvet outfit, and bells that jingled ... oh, and the aforementioned smut. I had such fun reading it that I had to render it in filk form ;) Members of a certain list may catch sight of the storified version of the roleplay (re-written by one of the authors, not myself.) I'd apologise for the bad lyrics and repeating the chorus, but ... nah, I'm not sorry ;) ( To the tune of Jingle Bells... ) (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Saturday, October 23rd, 2004
2:02 pm [watervole]	Ties to Bind Him This one was composed at connotations. I think it was mostly me, with a bit by predatrix and inspiration from other fen who were present at the time. 'Ties to Bind Him' Tune 'Dido Bendigo' (the original is a traditional hunting song) As I went to breakfast, at a con last autumn, I overheard some slash fen a-talking, Between a group of fen, they were sharing out the men, So early, as the day was dawning. CHORUS There were handcuffs, wrist cuffs, ankle cuffs, and cable ties, Lots of rope to tie his wrists behind him, There were school ties, silk scarves, leather belts and plastic wrap, These were the ties that would bind him. Now the first lad being young, and his trials just beginning, He dived straight away 'neath the covers, We tied him to the door and his ankles to the floor, Thinking that he'd find no freedom there forever. Now the next lad being older, and his trials fast advancing, We bent him across a dealer's table, We flogged him on the rear, with a happy, evil leer, He knew escape was more than he was able. Well they fled across the con, but their luck was almost gone, The fen and their pens never failing, It seems just yesterday, that I heard their leader say, It's onward, my lusty fen forever! (Comment on this)
Monday, October 11th, 2004
5:02 pm [brithistorian]	Not entirely sure it's a filk, but it is rather obscene... I learned this one while living at Bienville Hall at the University of New Orleans in the early '90s. I have no idea the name of the tune or the original source of the song. Oh, your mother's a bricklayer, a bricklayer, a bricklayer. Your mother's a bricklayer, a fine bricklayer is she. All day long she lays bricks, she lays bricks. All day long, then she comes home and lays me. Oh, your mother's a carpenter, a carpenter, a carpenter. Your mother's a carpenter, a fine carpenter is she. All day long she nails boards, she nails boards. All day long, then she comes home and nails me. Oh, your mother's a glassblower, a glassblower, a glassblower. Your mother's a glassblower, a fine glassblower is she. All day long she blows glass, she blows glass. All day long, then she comes home and blows me. Oh, your mother's a prostitute, a prostitute, a prostitute. Your mother's a prostitute, a fine prostitute is she. All day long she has sex for money, she has sex for money. All day long, then she comes home and watches TV. Current Mood: nostalgic (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, September 6th, 2004
2:08 pm [watervole]	For scarlatti I have a Submissive tune: Loch Lomond The robin comes to me and he sings upon the tree, He takes food from the table in my garden, When I've mealworms in my hand, then he'll venture down and land, But I'm never fool enough to think he loves me. CHORUS Oh ye'll take the straight road and I'll take the bent road, And maybe I'll get there afore ye, For I have a sub and I know I have his love, I can take on all the world while he adores me. Now some men want their steak and a slice of chocolate cake, My sub gives his will into my choosing, With a blindfold he can't see, but he takes his food from me, For love he'll take whatever I would give him. The cat on my lap deigns to let me stroke her back, And tells me when she needs food from the larder, She gives a gentle purr when I stroke her velvet fur, But I'm never fool enough to think she loves me. When my sub is tied and bound, with his forehead on the ground, I can use his body as I choose to, When he moves under my hand, I'm the queen of all the land, But I know he's only mine because he loves me. I love him with my heart and I give him of my art, Some might think out love is strange and cruel, The gift he gives to me, is only mine to see, But it's the reason why I'll always love him. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Saturday, July 3rd, 2004
2:19 am [dougs]	Wild Rover To the tune "Wild Rover". ( Trying to raise the levels of obscenity here ... ) (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Friday, July 2nd, 2004
9:59 pm [predatrix]	On Board a Ninety-Eight (bus) On Board A Ninety-Eight (bus) (with apologies to, among other people, the shade of Peter Bellamy. Also apologies to the readership in this group, because it's not filthy enough. It does scan, though. I just sang it at watervole. Inspired, of course, by a real-life news story) One day I went up the stair How I did stand in awe A man so firm and maid so fair Were coupling on the floor Since no-one called them to account Their reasons for to state, O They did not stop, nor yet dismount The quaking Ninety-Eight. The old top deck she groaned and shook The passengers they swore That they did not know where to look And they should call the law. But who's to raise the nine-nine-nine To bring them to their fate, O? The passengers they sit and whine On board a Ninety-Eight. The couple's other habit, though: A fouler form of...shag. A flicking lighter's sudden glow, He takes a hearty drag. I raised my phone, inviting cops, And this I tell you straight, O, That they were nicked for lighting up On board a Ninety-Eight! (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Wednesday, June 30th, 2004
11:42 am [watervole]	Sweet Cassandra It isn't really obscene, but I was reminded of it by something supergee just posted. I wrote it a year or two back and Bush was part of the inspiration. The tune is original - I can be persuaded to sing it at conventions if anyone wants to hear it. Cassandra, as I hope you all know, always prophesied correctly and was never believed. SWEET CASSANDRA Chorus Oh, lie to me, Sweet Cassandra lie to me. Prophesy no enemy will come across the sea, Oh, lie to me. Where are the lands of heroes, the stories of the brave? Where is fair Atlantis, that sank beneath the waves? Where are all the people who lived in days of yore? Who will tell their stories if we are no more? Tell me there's no poverty, say the world is free, Tell me there's no fighting, no one's a refugee, Tell me there's no hunger, no illness we can't cure. Say the world is happy - and say no more. Tell me that the Green Crusade is really rather strange, Tell me that the climate is never going to change, Tell me that the oceans will never rise again, Say I can ignore things, give me no blame. (1 Comment |Comment on this)