Be the change you want to see, bitches!
To the incoming freshmen of Oberlin:
Ok, so I'm bored and embarking on becoming a freshman for a 3rd time (who would have thought there would be hazing in the corporate world of advertising?

I saw that we had some haters in that previous thread; upper classmen are jaded, but they are only really dicks digitally. In person, Obies are pretty cool. So take this LJ shit with a grain of salt. Take it from a survivor.

Frankly, my freshman year rocked, and if your freshman year doesn't rock, the true purpose of college has been lost upon you (or you weren't drunk enough)

So here's a list that I've (and some buddies, but mostly me) come up with as little tidbits to make freshman year awesome and to gain the respect you deserve on campus. Even you, yes you, can become a Slaine. (Will that ever get old?)

And upperclassmen, instead of discouraging those 2010'ers, add some advice they they won't learn in a first year seminar or even at that OC show about booze and bisexuality (it's a great show, honestly.)

1. Find a friend with a car. Become that person's best friend. At 3 AM, you will get the munchies, and nothing in town is open past 11 except the Feve, which none of you are old enough to exploit unless you're cute/have a nice rack/can tell amazing jokes/know sleight of hand.

2. Drink responsibly, which means don't be the kid puking on the carpet. No one likes that kid, because that kid makes the hall have really annoying ResEd meetings where we talk about substance abuse (and I've held those meetings; RA's hate giving them as much as you hate listening to them.) I didn't drink anything until middle of my sophmore year, so don't feel pressured to do it.

2.5. You're gonna drink; honestly, I feel you're supposed to throw up once from drinking, but don't make it habit to be Drunky McUpchuck. Full glass of water with each drink, people. I don't say this because I'm a prude; I say this because I had a freshman clog my sink in my apartment because he felt he couldn't make to the toilet to vomit. Vomit takes a long time to clean from a drain. And seriously; do not drink and drive...just please, don't do it.

3. Don't be a dirty hippie. Anti-hygiene is not a political movement; it's a bad idea. Deodorant doesn't make you apathetic; in fact, it shows you care about your cause and your peers. If I can smell your balls from 5 feet away, we have a big problem.

4. Find friends and keep them close, but don't do that whole travel-in-packs-making-a-shit-load-of-noise thing. You might as well build a neon sign above your head that says "I don't know shit from shit and I want you all to know that"

5. Take one random-ass class, like Japanese Woodblock Prints or something. Push comes to shove, you'll meet a lot of really interesting people, and who else can go home to mom and discuss Japanese Woodblock prints over holiday dinner?

6. Sex is just that; sex. Play it safe, but it's not the end all be all. A Drunken hookup was a drunken hookup; it shouldn't make the next 4 years awkward between people. 3 months down the road, no one will care that you couldn't get it up after 3 shots of Jack.
6.5. Since you're at Oberlin, try some crazy ass shit, like role-playing or toys, or if you have an open double...a sling. What happens in the cornfields stays in the cornfields, and once you've seen a guy get drunk off a beer administered anally...I mean, you've got nothing to lose. Get to know your friendly neighborhood SIC folk.

7. Get to know your RA; they can hook you up in a pinch with just about anything if you're nice.

8. Don't let people diss you just because you're new. Stand up for yourself, get out there, go to parties, and make yourself known. Do a show, work for the Review or the Grape, join the tumbling exco (woot!)...make people respect you and say "That new guy/gal/person/entity is fuckin' awesome."

9. Do not settle for a crappy advisor if they are legitimately crappy. Find a faculty member you trust, and TALK to them. Oberlin is not a place to go around with no voice. I would have not survived if Caroline Jackson Smith didn't have my back from day one (SIDENOTE: I'm biased, but get to know Caroline. Coolest professor ever)

10. Co-Ops are fuckin' amazing. If you can do a co-op, do it. It's a great experience and the food is to DIE for.

11. And most importantly...try not to burn any bridges. Karma works twice as strong in a place like Oberlin, and Obies are everywhere. Case in point: The apartment I'm moving into in the morning, from a random Craigslist ad, for $491 a month in Brooklyn, was posted by an Oberlin grad who I knew from a photo class. OBIES ARE EVERYWHERE.

Good luck, 2010. Bottoms Up.