Meg Rosoff is very possibly the cleverest person I know.

She's also quite a wit. And she knows a little something about writing (and selling!) books.

Why those blockhead ignorami commenters over at the guardian books blog can't understand humor and good common sense is beyond me -- but hopefully, you'll do better.

Meg talks about her years in the advert biz. While they were trying on many levels, she maybe ... just maybe ... learned a little something. While these are tongue-in-cheek tips, they're also TRUE, so I advise you aspiring authors to take them with a grain of salt, a dose of humor and a dram of humility:

1. Marketing is important. If there's no market, there's no money (and writing is, after all, a job - a wonderful job, but a job nonetheless).
2. Know how to write. Really, it helps.
3. Have an idea. Writing's a great skill, but thinking's a better one.
4. There are no rules. Your job is to break the rules.
5. Be wise. Know more than your audience about something - anything.
6. Cut to the chase. The average attention span of the modern human being is about half as long as whatever you're trying to tell them.
7. Get a life. Breadth of knowledge is good, emotional depth is even better.
8. Lie about everything except emotions. Chairs can talk. Pigs can fly. Haemorrhoids can disappear in seconds. But if you don't care about what you're saying, no one else will either.
9. Listen to what other people have to say. If 15 people say that what you've done is dull, heavy handed and incomprehensible, it probably needs work.
10. Network. Everyone who's ever had a job will tell you how important this is. On the other hand (as someone who arrived in England with no connections at all)...
11. ...Don't worry about your connections (or lack thereof). Anyone who's really good has no trouble getting a job in advertising and keeping it. Blind persistence is what the rest of us use. The same is true with writing books. Contrary to popular belief, editors and agents are gagging for good books.
12. Edit ruthlessly. Do not fall in love with your own prose. God invented the delete button to help you.

Thoughts?