Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in note_to_asshat's LiveJournal:

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Thursday, July 16th, 2009
5:49 pm [sonofabish]	Boggle Dear roommate, I have a limited amount of time left here in this apartment and more pressing matters on my plate than your utter and complete lack of cleanliness. Dumping dishes with food into the sink, half-missing the strainer with those wretched Ramen noodles you live on (oh so attractive in a 30-something guy) and leaving them clogging the drain. I've become used to this. It does not please me, but I bite my tongue. I have long since given up trying to educate you on what goes where vis a vis the recycling because it is beyond your grasp and there is bad co-mingling galore, which causes the recycling guys to curse at me in Spanish if I happen to be going to my car when they're here. Today, though, you have scaled the peak of Mt Congenital Laziness and such an achievement cannot go without posting it for all to see on the internet. Thursday morning is trash day. Despite living here for almost a year now, you still don't know what day is trash day. That in itself ranks you as pretty special, in a short bus kinda way. I know it can be confusing to your Harvard-educated brain that on those weeks where there's a holiday the trash day is then Friday, but most people manage to cope and adjust. Still, I will let that one slide as well. I can use the exercise hauling out the trash. Which leads us back to today. I had hopes you would come home last night, notice the trash cans outside, and realize it was Trash Night and bestir yourself to take the full bag of kitchen trash and heck, maybe even the bathroom trash too, and bring them down to the curb. I also dream of winning Megabucks and of driving the Autobahn in a Ferrari at 220mph as well. Alas, alack, when I woke up this morning to get ready for work, the trash was still there. I was the same level of surprised as I was at the sun rising in the east this morning. So once again, it fell on me to get the trash. As I was pressed for time, I only had time to grab the kitchen trash and the recycling and rush out the door and did not have time to put in a new bag. I had, however, left the bag of trashbags on the counter directly above the door to the trash bin on the counter. This is where the worm turns. Fast-forward to this afternoon. I came home from work, grabbed some food from the fridge, and when I went to toss something away I opened the trash bin and..... oh, the glory that awaited my eyes! There was no trash bag in the trash bin. Oh no, there wasn't. What there was was a bunch of trash. I stared, unsure if perhaps the pressure under which I have been has caused me to go delusional and hallucinate. I looked again. No trash bag, but trash. I smiled. Just when you think you've seen everything in this world, it is good to be surprised. I will give you some credit. You had, however, thoughtfully moved the box with the trash bags back from the edge of the counter because, well, we wouldn't want them to fall into the trash can, now would we? Or course not! So thank you for once again reaffirming the indomitable nature of the human spirit in the never-ending quest for faster/stupider/lazier. (7 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, June 26th, 2009
9:39 am [lilliah]	Basic care of pets Dear Live-In Asshat, When I wake up for work, about an hour and a half after you've left for your day, and I discover that our rabbits have been fed but are out of water, I get really pissed off. We have an agreement about this. Our handmade cage had only one design flaw which was not realized until it was put into full use: the only good places to put the water bottle in reach of the rabbits put it out of my reach (literally, both from the top of the cage and the door) to fill it. Me 5'3", you 5'11". You said you would always make sure they had water. I can give them a bowl of water as a temporary fix for the day, but it makes me paranoid because they have a habit of getting bored and knocking it over. It's not you who cleans their cage when something like this happens. I have now put up a sign on the door reminding you to water the bunnies before you leave for work. It's not coming down until this pattern appears to have stopped. It's not much to ask of you, since I can feed them and clean their cage and do everything else without your help. They will not eat if they are not hydrated. And it's not acceptable that they have to wait your whole work day or a whole night for that most basic of needs. I will never leave them alone with you because while I don't think you'd let them die, I doubt they'd be very comfortable. You do not make it your priority to ensure their well-being on a regular basis. I guess I really shouldn't be surprised -- I used to have to set my own phone alarms and call you twice daily to ensure that you'd taken your anti-convulsant medication. You'd think the prospect of having a huge tonic-clonic (grand mal) seizure, as you are given to do and have visited the ER many times as a result, would be enough to convince you to do so yourself. No love, The person who wishes she could rebuild the cage without much hassle...but you didn't help with that, either. P.S. Your grumblings that the rabbits are "addicted to water" and "camel-like" when you don't want to refill their water when I ask are juvenile and piss me off even more. And you wonder why I don't want to have your children. Current Mood: predatory Current Music: Halestorm (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, June 24th, 2009
8:19 pm [lillyflowers]	You've nothing to gain or loose from lying to me. The property settlement is signed and nothing left but to have a first and final appearance before the judge. In two months' time we'll be divorced. So you continue to lie to me WHY? Oh, that's right, you're a pathological LIAR. I am so happy I'm done with you. I am so happy you can't hurt me anymore. I am just...happy. I think that bugs you more than a little bit. That makes me happpy too. (Comment on this)
Saturday, June 13th, 2009
4:08 am [liontaris]	ROBERT! Hey, screaming asshat in the parking lot, Standing pretty much outside my window and yelling ROB! or ROBERT! every two seconds at 3:30 in the morning is not cool. You may not have a job, but other people have to work. Like me. I need to be up in about 2 hours to go to work. Thanks for saving my alarm clock the bother of going off. It was working too hard anyway. I feel SO embarrassed, not only for you, but for your little girlfriend who had to come out to be humiliated with you. Did it ever occur to you that if you've called his name five or six times (and you called it plenty more than that) and he hasn't answered yet, that there are a few possible things that may be wrong? Such as: His window might be closed? (Despite the fact taht it's mid-June, it's mid-June in Halifax and 3:30 AM is a brisk 14 degrees C) He may not want to see you? He might be asleep? (It is 3:30 AM, after all) (this is the one I think most likely) He may have moved and just not told you. Even if he did still live here and he was awake (then again, half the building is awake now, like me), he probably doesn't even want to be associated with you. You've just humiliated yourself in front of God and the world, and now you expect him to tell the neighbourhood that he actually knows you? No dice, dude. And I don't know HOW you got into our building (probably your little whore let you in when she got sick of you humiliating her out on the lawn), but pounding and kicking the door down the hall and getting no answer might have been a solid hint he was not there. And there's why I think he may have moved. Someone named Robert used to live next door, but that was a while ago; he's gone. Probably to get away from you, dear asshat. Heck, to quote Rowan Atkinson, you strike me as being "the kind of person people emigrate to avoid". But I just had to laugh at you when I heard (through my slightly open balcony window) you ask your strumpet to boost you up and that you intended to climb up the balconies to the third floor. It was at that point that I finally called security. Hope you have fun making a new friend with the guard that will escort you back to your car and tell you to stop trespassing, retard. If you aren't bright enough to figure out that your buddy has moved or doesn't want to see you in the middle of the night, then what makes you think you're climbing up the right balconies?If you'd been off by one and missed and hit my balcony, the cops would have been all over you. No love, Taris, the rudely-awoken retail worker who has to work Saturdays even if you don't (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, June 11th, 2009
8:13 am [ocnative]	Which way did he go George? Dear Irvine motorcycle cop sitting on Bake Pkwy this morning: the reason why there are so many accidents at that particular location are not from people running the red light going UPHILL on Bake Pkwy, it is because of all of the people racing off the 5 south freeway off ramp and blowing the red light. As you sat there on your motorcycle, directly across from the off ramp, looking sternly towards our lanes of traffic, 3 people BLANTENTLY ran that red light (and I am not even referring to the ones whose tires might have just crossed the crosswalk before the light turned red.) And you...just..sat..there. Still staring at us, daring us to run the light. Going uphill. Yeah, betcha aren't going to write a lot of tickets this morning. Current Mood: annoyed (2 Comments |Comment on this)
11:55 am [ghymoreid]	To my new flatmate While I am amazingly appreciative of being able to move somewhere that a)is cheaper and b)contains people who are actually familiar with the concept of paying rent and bills and buying food ... I swear by all that is unholy and tentacled, the next time I hear you screaming at your six-month-old to shut up because you need your fucking sleep and then proceed to leave him lying crying in his cot until he learns to "behave" without so much as checking his nappy or making him up a bottle before chocking the door to the nursery closed and going back to bed I will smack you purple. Newsflash: When you and your fiancee decided to keep this child, he became the most important thing in your universe. He is more important than sleep. He is more important than checking your email. He is more important than having your armour and outfit ready for the big tournament in a month. He also, just as a by-the-way, does not yet have a concept of being "good". He is Six. Months. Old. He doesn't understand (or likely care) that you're sleep-deprived. He understands that he is hungry/cold/wet/whatever, and as he has yet to develop language his only way of alerting you, his caregiver, to this fact is to cry. Leaning over him and yelling is probably not going to make him stop, because now he's hungry/cold/wet/whatever and scared shitless to boot, genius. Negative amounts of love right now Your new flatmate who if you touch or hug without invitation one more time is going to break your fingers. Current Mood: aggravated (7 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, June 8th, 2009
1:13 pm [4o5pastmidnight]	Dear Able-Bodied Asshat- Those big buttons for disabled people to push to open doors exist so that a disabled person can open the door. I gather that you already know this. When you walk up and push the button and wait for the door to open instead of, you know, reaching out and exerting the effort to open the door, you look like an asshole. When you stand and wait for the door to open, realize it won't open, then go to push the button again, EVEN THOUGH YOU'RE A FOOT FROM THE DOOR, you look like a massive tool. I mean, really? Is opening a door THAT HARD? When I'm running late and have to wait for your lazy ass to have the door opened for you, it makes me hate you that much more, asshat. Get your lazy ass moving, dickhead. Hoping that one day the automatic door will hit you in the face, 4o5pastmidnight (7 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, June 6th, 2009
2:02 am [mel_redcap]	Dear Asshat in my uni library, That is a computer desk for a public computer. A public computer you are not in fact logged onto, and do not seem to have any intention to log onto. A public computer that other people want to use, and NEED to use, because - guess what? - this is OMG FINALS FINAL PAPERS LAST WEEK OF CLASSES time. That is NOT a seat for you to park your butt on while you gossip with your group of friends (who are, by the way, blocking the walkway. Just sayin'). So when it turns out that that is the LAST public computer left free on this floor of the library, and one of the seven people searching for somewhere to log on spots it and approaches, do NOT give them a death-glare and refuse to move your skinny-ass tight-jeans skanky self because "GAWD, we're TALKING!" Beeyotch. I laughed as I saw the librarian heading in your direction with the Polite Glint of Doom in his eyes. No love, Me. Current Mood: tired (Comment on this)
Tuesday, May 19th, 2009
8:06 pm [tamago23]	Poop and scoop, asshole. Dear dog owner, I realize you feel that what comes out of your dog's ass is such an amazing thing, you want to share it with the rest of us. I can't think of any other reason you might choose to leave so much of his poop lying around in my apartment building's backyard, since you are undoubtedly a wonderful person who wouldn't leave poo behind because, say, you're a thoughtless, inconsiderate douchebag. Really, I should be grateful that you take the time to walk your dog over from the apartment building next to ours to use our lawn, rather than letting him defecate on your own building's lawn. I mean, if you didn't contaminate my backyard, I'd actually be able to let my kids play out there! And everybody knows that sunshine and grass are really quite unhealthy for children. Thanks for making sure that if I want to let my kids play on grass, I need to walk them to the nearest playground twenty minutes away rather than just letting them pop out to the backyard for a quick run-around. And I really, really appreciate that this isn't just a one-time event; you're considerate enough to be conscientious about leaving your dog's crap on the grass. You repeat this little performance at least twice a day every day, just to make sure that the lawn always has some fresh turds lying about. I certainly can't fault your dedication. Sincerely, Someone who lives in the building next to yours, who also has a dog, and who picks up her dog's poop because she's not an asswipe like you (7 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, May 9th, 2009
9:19 am [mel_redcap]	Dear Asshat Contractor, You're polite. You seem to do good work. You wear jeans that are high and self-supporting so that you do not parade butt crack around my house. This is wonderful! I squee with joy! So could you please for once TURN UP WHEN YOU SAY YOU WILL?!?!? Or at least CALL if you need to reschedule?!?!? So far you've had two days off sick (no call, I called your boss to ask and he told me); two days you were planning to work on the roof and it rained (no call, again, I called your boss to ask and he told me - and at least one of those days you were meant to work inside, bucky); one day you showed up when you WEREN'T scheduled (and tromped all over the roof, waking up my tenant who was on night shift at the time, thanks so much); the next day you were scheduled and, oh, big surprise, no call and no show. You were scheduled yesterday. You came. Woot! You are scheduled today. I am home instead of spending time with my fiance, so that I am here to let you in. Where the hell are you?!? Current Mood: aggravated (6 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, April 23rd, 2009
3:37 pm [xpoisonedrosesx]	Strippers aren't as dumb as you think. Dear dooche-baggy punter I may take my clothes off for money, but lets face it. I'm alot smarter than you are. When I tell you the reason for my job and my plans for the future, don't interrupt me and tell me what i need to do instead. Why no, i chose not to go to university. There was nothing there i wanted to study. Why build up $30,000 in debts for a degree that i'm never going to use? I have a plan and i'm doing a job that will permit me to put that plan into action asap. I don't care if you earn over $200,000 a year it's not that much money. You're nothing but a drunk loser that has to pay a pretty girl to talk to him. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, April 19th, 2009
8:37 pm [ocnative]	Dear Cox cable / Versus HD channel When you SAY that you are going to broadcast tonight's Ducks / Sharks game in HD on the Versus channel, please follow through. It's totally uncool to set the DVR and then go to start the game an hour into it only to find rodeo / bull riding. Thank God we didn't miss the entire game, just the entire first period. Nothing against bull riding in high def, but its really stupid to see bull riding and then have the channel info CONTINUE to say its a hockey playoff game... Idiots. Current Mood: annoyed (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, April 13th, 2009
11:00 pm [prncsbkwrm]	Oh, You Again. Dear Coroner's Office from a County Near Me, You all make me ill. ( Cut for Language and Length )( Cut for Language and Length )tl; dr - coroner's office didn't bother to call us back about the autopsy report. What a surprise. not. (5 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, April 5th, 2009
10:17 pm [fibro_witch]	Shut off your tv before I ... Look, you have been a dear friend since college, so I am only going to say this a few more times before I start thinking of ways to kill you. Your a computer guy, you get computers, printers and those other things with blue and green lights to send packets of data back and forth. Your not a doctor. You know less about medicine than the actors on those medical shows you watch. The Discovery channel medical shows are about as close to real medicine as the other television shows you watch. House is not to a real Hospital what the Daily Show is to NBC news. It's a television show. Just because you watched a tv show where a someone in a hospital bed said they had my symptoms, and withing 49 minutes not counting commercials was walking out the door all happy. This does not mean I have the same thing wrong with me. It's a television show. The person reciting those symptoms was a actor! They did not have any symptoms, they were reading off a script! Not a real event. You can watch all the Medical Mysteries, Medical Drama, Medical Schmedical shows you want to. I'm going to trust all my health care decisions to the team of 6 ya SIX wonderful medical practitioners. People who got a lot of training on how the human body works, went to school for it and everything. Just like you did for your specialty (not medicine) and I did for my specialty. While I don't have your attention, because the second someone does not buy your line of pontificating bull you stomp off. Lets talk about part two of the conversation. Other television shows are not real life either. A television show were someone passes a cheap non standard emf meter over a wire and pronounces it the cause of the home owners problems is not real either. You might want to blame all my health problems on my home, the one I move to just a few years back, when I was already ill. But I'm not going to. See my illness is genetic and... Oh why bother. Let me sum up. Just because some guy from England, playing an American with a limp, a drug addiction, and a medical degree once read the words "It is never lupus!" on TV. Does not mean a single thing. Except that your not as smart as you think. Current Mood: angry (Comment on this)
Tuesday, March 31st, 2009
6:28 pm [mel_redcap]	Another Bus Asshat Mmm-hm. Yup. You're so smooth, you teenage asshat you, muttering 'bitch' while you're on your mobile to your I-assume-girlfriend, then assuring her "Nah, nah, that was the guy behind me, that wasn't me". I also enjoyed hearing you tell her "your family are all KFC people, all just KFC, all screwed. Me? Yeah, I'm, like, I'm gonna be in the public service, get a sh!tton of money for doin' nothing all day." Speaking as a public servant, AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA*choke*snork*sporfle* ...right. I'd love to get paid a sh!tton of money for doing nothing all day, but trust me boyo, nobody does. Learn better English skills before you apply, too. Speaking as a woman, I hope your I-assume-girlfriend didn't believe your hasty disclaimer, is offended by the KFC comment, and goes for your balls. Current Mood: irritated (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, March 28th, 2009
10:38 pm [frellingblonde]	I really should not need to post here twice in one week... Dear asshat supervisors, What am I working on? My goddamn job, that's what! Wait, strike that, my job and the jobs of about five other people. Same as everyone else in this dump. You want things done faster? Hire back some of the good, hardworking people you let go. Until then, get off my back. I'd be a lot more productive if I didn't have to explain what I was working on to ten different people in as many minutes. Any idiot could see that the layoffs were an unfortunate necessity. But 30% of the fucking company? And now look how hard that's biting you in the ass. It's biting all of us who are overworked, exhausted, and dealing with impatient and pissed-off clients a lot harder. No love, Overworked employee with a sore ass. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, March 23rd, 2009
10:50 pm [daemonaquila]	Fantastic use of logic, asshat! Dear asshat resident treating my client, You have a patient with a potentially deadly pulmonary disease who had to be sent home on oxygen. Your patient literally can not breathe through their nose - and will never be able to again until they've undergone surgery... which they're rather too sick for right now. So, WHY THE SMEG did you send them home with a tank of oxygen and a NASAL CANNULA?!?!?!?!?!? Are your batshit insane? Just wondering, Someone who didn't need 4 years of med school to figure out why this doesn't work (1 Comment |Comment on this)
4:36 pm [frellingblonde]	Class. Get some. Dear asshat coworkers, A DUI arrest is NOT something to be proud of, nor is it something to make light of. Driving under the influence is not cool, and it is not funny. It IS a big deal. In fact, it's fucking illegal. What the hell is wrong with you people? xoxo P.S: It's also not the fault of the "asshole" cop who pulled you over. Grow the fuck up. (5 Comments |Comment on this)
10:49 am [floopyboo]	Dear arsehole landscaper listening to star fm, Learn to moderate the level of volume coming from your radio to each job site*, eh? There's no need to be a dick & pull up outside someone's bedroom window with the music blaring so loud that even with all windows firmly sealed and the airconditioning on high (the acceptable level in this little court) the noise is not abated noticably. Not impressed that I had to put Mezdeke on to an intolerably loud level to drown your crap fm out. But, it appears to have had the desired effect. The furriner music has driven you off. Just no, okay. And get better taste in music. If it is absolutely essential that I be woken after being up til 4am writing up a term's worth of lesson plans, I insist on being woken up by decent music. No love at all, The exhausted bellydance teacher *No, I did not hire him. And now I have motivation to ask the neighbour who did who he is so I never make the mistake of doing so. Current Mood: exhausted (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Saturday, March 21st, 2009
4:09 pm [floopyboo]	Dear Australian Government, Get the fuck out of our internet. Best wishes, The Australian Public (1 Comment |Comment on this)