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Non-Doormat Subs
Subs with Backbones
Created on 2006-03-22 02:51:16 (#9843901), last updated 2009-08-18
678 comments received
Basic Account [Gift]
73 Journal Entries, 1 Tag, 0 Memories, 0 Virtual Gifts, 2 Userpics
Basic Info| Membership: | Moderated |
|---|---|
| Posting Access: | All Members |
AboutWelcome to Non-Doormat Subs. This community is dedicated to those who choose to be submissive within the borders of a BDSM relationship. We recognize that being submissive does not mean giving up our rights to boundaries, preferences, or our choice of circumstances in which we will be submissive. Many who choose to identify themselves as submissive within the BDSM relationship have lives or jobs outside of their participation in the BDSM lifestyle that require them to be assertive outside of the lifestyle.
It doesn't matter when, where, for how long, or how (sexually or not) you are submissive. What matters is having self respect, an identity outside that of a submissive, and the desire to stand up for yourself. Having limits and admitting it. Not getting all up in arms when a submissive teases his dominant. Implementing "I may be a submissive, but I'm not your submissive". Taking responsibility for one's own choices, actions, happiness, and welfare.
It really is seen more in its absence than its presence. What are doormat subs? They refuse to admit to limits. They attempt to enforce the doormat sub paradigm on all submissives and all kinky relationships. They do anything any dominant tells them to do. They take no responsibility for their choices, actions, happiness, or welfare. They don't think on their own, and thus deny their dominants the benefit that a second person generally brings to a relationship. Basically brainless robots.
We are not doormats. We are not fools, idiots, or children who need to be told (who must be told?) what to do and when to do it. When we ask our partners "how high?" in response to their requests that we jump, it's a signal that we are willing to please them, not that we can't figure out what they want. Our submission must be freely given, it cannot be demanded.
Therefore, this is a community for assertive, independent, aggressive, and feisty subs who are not appreciated by those who demand that their bottoms give up utterly and completely to them.
This is a restricted community. In order to be granted admission, you must complete the following items:
1. Your profile must contain your full birthdate, or you must be willing to let the maintainers know what your birthdate is. Because of the nature of this community, we cannot grant membership to anyone under 18 years of age.
2. Please comment in the open thread in the community. Include in this comment, your reason for wishing to join, and where you found out about NDS. In addition to posting a comment, you must either click on the "Join this Community" link at the top of the page, or click here.
3. If you have questions about the community, please contact one of the maintainers.
Rules for this community are:
1. No flaming or personal attacks.
2. No spamming. Spammers will be banned.
3. Please place pictures and long entries behind and LJ Cut.
4. Off topic posts should be placed behind an LJ cut.
5. Please refrain from using Netspeak or Leetspeak in this community. The members find trying to read those posts annoying.
6. Also, please refrain from alternate capitalization. W/we don’t feel that it is necessary for Y/you to use slash capitalization to show that Y/you have respect for O/others.
7. We value ALL types of submission in this community. It isn’t a contest to prove who is “subbier” than who.
8. We’re not here to offer advice on how to be a dom or a sub, so requests for how to teach your dom or sub will be ignored.
9. This is not an erotica community, so requests for scene reports will not be honored.
10. Please refrain from “just saying hi” types of posts. We prefer that you aim for actual content in your posts.
11. This community is about positive attitudes, not about self-doubt. Please try to refrain from asking if what you’re doing is “submissive enough” or if it is “topping from the bottom.”
12. Don’t put anyone else down for their kink. Just because it’s not your kink doesn’t mean it isn’t right for them.
13. All posts in this community are members-only. Please do not repost entries from this community anywhere else without permission from the OP.
Non-Doormat Subs is a dynamic, evolving community. Because of this, we thoroughly expect that the community rules will evolve with us. Changes to the community rules will be posted as the community agrees on them.
Community Information for Non-Doormat Subs is the work of the community as a whole. Many people contributed to the information on this page. We thank everyone for their participation in the process of creating this page and hope that they will continue to participate in the process of making Non-Doormat Subs a great community.
It doesn't matter when, where, for how long, or how (sexually or not) you are submissive. What matters is having self respect, an identity outside that of a submissive, and the desire to stand up for yourself. Having limits and admitting it. Not getting all up in arms when a submissive teases his dominant. Implementing "I may be a submissive, but I'm not your submissive". Taking responsibility for one's own choices, actions, happiness, and welfare.
It really is seen more in its absence than its presence. What are doormat subs? They refuse to admit to limits. They attempt to enforce the doormat sub paradigm on all submissives and all kinky relationships. They do anything any dominant tells them to do. They take no responsibility for their choices, actions, happiness, or welfare. They don't think on their own, and thus deny their dominants the benefit that a second person generally brings to a relationship. Basically brainless robots.
We are not doormats. We are not fools, idiots, or children who need to be told (who must be told?) what to do and when to do it. When we ask our partners "how high?" in response to their requests that we jump, it's a signal that we are willing to please them, not that we can't figure out what they want. Our submission must be freely given, it cannot be demanded.
Therefore, this is a community for assertive, independent, aggressive, and feisty subs who are not appreciated by those who demand that their bottoms give up utterly and completely to them.
This is a restricted community. In order to be granted admission, you must complete the following items:
1. Your profile must contain your full birthdate, or you must be willing to let the maintainers know what your birthdate is. Because of the nature of this community, we cannot grant membership to anyone under 18 years of age.
2. Please comment in the open thread in the community. Include in this comment, your reason for wishing to join, and where you found out about NDS. In addition to posting a comment, you must either click on the "Join this Community" link at the top of the page, or click here.
3. If you have questions about the community, please contact one of the maintainers.
Rules for this community are:
1. No flaming or personal attacks.
2. No spamming. Spammers will be banned.
3. Please place pictures and long entries behind and LJ Cut.
4. Off topic posts should be placed behind an LJ cut.
5. Please refrain from using Netspeak or Leetspeak in this community. The members find trying to read those posts annoying.
6. Also, please refrain from alternate capitalization. W/we don’t feel that it is necessary for Y/you to use slash capitalization to show that Y/you have respect for O/others.
7. We value ALL types of submission in this community. It isn’t a contest to prove who is “subbier” than who.
8. We’re not here to offer advice on how to be a dom or a sub, so requests for how to teach your dom or sub will be ignored.
9. This is not an erotica community, so requests for scene reports will not be honored.
10. Please refrain from “just saying hi” types of posts. We prefer that you aim for actual content in your posts.
11. This community is about positive attitudes, not about self-doubt. Please try to refrain from asking if what you’re doing is “submissive enough” or if it is “topping from the bottom.”
12. Don’t put anyone else down for their kink. Just because it’s not your kink doesn’t mean it isn’t right for them.
13. All posts in this community are members-only. Please do not repost entries from this community anywhere else without permission from the OP.
Non-Doormat Subs is a dynamic, evolving community. Because of this, we thoroughly expect that the community rules will evolve with us. Changes to the community rules will be posted as the community agrees on them.
Community Information for Non-Doormat Subs is the work of the community as a whole. Many people contributed to the information on this page. We thank everyone for their participation in the process of creating this page and hope that they will continue to participate in the process of making Non-Doormat Subs a great community.
Administrators
Maintainers (3):
Members [View Entries]
Members (126):
00000_hisobject, addienfaemne, aerynne, afropoppa, ahavah_ehyeh, aldonza27, annasannas, aquathegoddess, arabwel, bad_in_plaid, becomingkerai, blackthornglade, bladespark, blueeyedjack, blush4him, bound_desires, box3, by_curious, candy_caned, cheshire_bitten, cicilia_tironi, counterfeitmoon, cynsimone, danny193, darkersunshine, desire_not_lost, devabandha, discordia_nox, donsgurl, duncan50, echopet, edana_ni_emer, edge_dweller, enigmaticelf, errant_desire, ezerick, foxtrot_pasta, ghosts_jewel, gitana, his_kitty, hisbast, iansgeisha, illustratedtart, imnottrent, imuhar, ivymcallister, jovial_kitten, kbr41, kellinator, kinkier_me, kissed_by_fate, la_pasajera_k, languidcat, leathersub, lilairen, lindsay1984, lizs18, lizzenge, loves2sweetly, lucksong, lullabud, magdalena156, maidenofmidian, mavikfelna, mistresssquishy, moonwolf41, morriganswitch, mseuphrates, museclio, na_amah, ncnefarious, ne_penthe, normansangelpet, nyxalinth, operation_jewel, originalwacky, patchz, perky_goddess, phoenix_kitty, phoenixrizing99, phoenixtx, precious_of_pel, primal_pastry, princessidekick, qt3_141592, quixote327, r_eve_aled, radiopagan, rainaweather, raven_wolfe, rebelscure, rekindle_kiana, riverheart, roostersgrrl, ruth_lawrence, scarletfaewind, schnee, secretagentlost, seekerofwisdom, sheyeblaze, shibaritenchi, sima_zhongda, socsub, st_andrews_girl, subeleanor, submissivebitch, super_loulou, tacomonkey, taniwhanui, tendentious1, tesria, the_anguisette, tombwriter, trellis24, tristissima, twilightfalls13, undercoverup, voluptuairy, voyeurprincess, wikiness, wishing_wounds, wykdpet, wykkdspet, x_bluerose_x, yoursbutnotmine, yummy64
Watched by (107):
00000_hisobject, addienfaemne, aerynne, afropoppa, ahavah_ehyeh, aldonza27, anais_pf, annasannas, aquathegoddess, arabwel, bad_in_plaid, becomingkerai, bladespark, blueeyedjack, blush4him, box3, by_curious, cheshire_bitten, counterfeitmoon, danny193, darkersunshine, desire_not_lost, devabandha, discordia_nox, duncan50, echopet, edana_ni_emer, edge_dweller, enigmaticelf, errant_desire, ezerick, gitana, goatsfoot, greeneyedchea, his_kitty, hisbast, hollowkatt, iansgeisha, illustratedtart, imnottrent, ivymcallister, jovial_kitten, kbr41, kinkier_me, kissed_by_fate, la_pasajera_k, languidcat, leathersub, lilairen, lindsay1984, lizs18, lizzenge, loves2sweetly, lucksong, magdalena156, maidenofmidian, mavikfelna, mistresssquishy, monkeey_pants, moonwolf41, morriganswitch, museclio, mystictrout, na_amah, ncnefarious, ne_penthe, normansangelpet, operation_jewel, patchz, perky_goddess, phoenix_kitty, phoenixrizing99, phoenixtx, precious_of_pel, princessidekick, qt3_141592, quixote327, r_eve_aled, rainaweather, raven_wolfe, rebelscure, riverheart, roostersgrrl, ruth_lawrence, scarletfaewind, schnee, secretagentlost, seekerofwisdom, sheyeblaze, shibaritenchi, sima_zhongda, st_andrews_girl, subeleanor, submissivebitch, super_loulou, tacomonkey, tombwriter, trellis24, tristissima, twilightfalls13, undercoverup, white_lilacs, wikiness, wishing_wounds, wykdpet, wykkdspet, yoursbutnotmine
