Ninjas · Vs · Pirates

Just because it hasn't been posted here:
For those of you who have FB, you can change the language "Pirate" now.

"Deadliest Warrior" seems to think that Pirates armed with flintock pistols and blunderbusses could defeat a knight equipped with sword and armor ...

Real Life seems to think Pirates armed with AK-47s get pwnd by a sexagenarian tourist armed with a deck chair.

Quoted: A British vacationer is being hailed a hero after he thwarted gun-toting pirates attacking a cruise ship — by throwing a deck chair at them.

WAY TO GO PIRATES

YOU SEEM COOLER EVERY DAY

While the Ninja collective are still licking their wounds from being defeated by Spartans on 'Deadliest Warrior". Let's see how the Pirate fared last night versus the Knight.


(If you want to go straight past the computer information mumbo-jumbo and onto the fight pick it up about 2:25)

Sure some ninja here points to a show on National Geographic that uses ballistics gel torsos to show how ninjas were so bad ass, they deserve the same title as a roided out, bad KISS makeup wearing, aged pro wrestler who was popular for about a year in the late 80's...

But were they the deadliest warriors? (If you want to get right to the action, pick it up about 2:30)



I guess this is why you never hear of a sports team called "The Ninjas"?

Ninja robber foiled by phone call and lame excuse.

Obviously a student of this School of Ninja.


Remember, dunt go ninjain' nobudah that dunt need ninjain'!

moar funny pictures


And a video showing a ninja cat that comes closer WITHOUT moving:

http://icanhascheezburger.com/2008/09/16/ninja-cat-comes-closer-without-moving/

Now I can't remember if you pirates think that all ninjas are Japanese or just Asian... I believe this is in Korean. I'll leave it up to you pirates to decide if this is Korea's outreach program to you pirates because ninjas won't let them join the club, or if there are Korean pirates trying to poison you via liquor with names that will lure you in. I mean after all, pirates ARE all about rum cock, right?

So, if you, like me have a difficult time understanding Pirate speak, because it's mostly made of absolute nonsense, you might find the following item quite handy. I am compiling a Pirate-to-English dictionary so we ninja can better understand pirates and make it more clear to them why we're superior.

This is a work in progress, so please feel free to suggest anything I have left out/don't know.

Wench: n. 1. Diseased trollop with which many seafaring men have had sexual relations.

Rum: n. 1. Alcoholic libation consumed during breakfast, lunch, dinner, and all hours in between.

Me Hardies: n., pl. 1. A number of pirates that share a certain level of camaraderie. 2. A number of pirates to whom the speaker owes any amount of money, eg. "I'm good fer't, I'll pay ye back, me hardies, ole jolly always does!"

Matey: n. 1. A pirate. 2. A homosexual.

Davey Jones' Locker: n. 1. The bottom of the sea. 2. A locker belonging to a pirate named Davey Jones, which is supposedly located at the bottom of the sea. 3. A bar in Baltimore.

Shiver me Timbers: v. 1. To cause fear, suspicion, or sudden fright. Also used as an expletive, eg. "Shiver me Timbers! It's the Ghost Ship of Cap'n Rahab!" 2. A request for oral sex from a cabin boy, eg. "Shiver me Timbers, lad."

Swab the Deck: v. 1. To clean, with a mop and bucket, the diarrhea discharge associated with scurvy from the deck of a ship. 2. A request for oral sex from a cabin boy, eg. "Swab the Deck, lad."

ARRRR: I don't really know how to give a clear definition of this word really. Usage seems to indicate it's a catch-all word/expletive kind of like the word "Smurf" was for the Smurfs. There are multiple spellings, and the meaning will vary depending on the spelling and context it seems. I think it's possible to create entire sentences in Pirate using only "ARRR" and its derivatives, eg. "ARRRR! ARR ARR AHHRRRR, ARRR."

Cap'n: n. 1. Captain, specifically, the Captain of a pirate ship. 2. Rum 3. A term of endearment for a pirate to whom one owes sexual allegiance, eg. "Blackbeard is my Cap'n."

Proof that Ninja are Poseurs...







Furthermore, some logic:

- Getting laid is a good thing.
- Ninja and Pirates both complain about not getting laid enough.
- Certain Ninja members of this community (such as one of the mods who shall remain nameless) are constantly posting about how they don't get laid at all.
- Certain Pirate members of this community (such as myself) also post about how they aren't geting laid enough.
- When Pirate members post about not getting laid, within an hour, they usually get 3 to 5 offers for "booty calls"... and they usually accept most, if not all, offers.
- We never hear about Ninja getting "booty call" offers from such posts, much less actually following through when the exceptionally rare offers are made. (Ninja don't get booty!)
- From this, we can infer that Pirates get laid more often than Ninja.

Therefore, Pirates > Ninja. Q.E.D.