Nerve Ex-Pats
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Nerve ex-pats.'s LiveJournal:
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| Sunday, October 21st, 2007 | 2:41 pm
[tryrugby]
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Nerve personals tech question...
Ok Nerverts... A cute girl wrote me off my Nerve personals profile -- and so I sent her a response back. Now looking at her profile, it says she has written back to me again -- but it is not showing up in my Nerve mailbox -- nor did I get an e-mail reminder to check the nerve mailbox. WTF? Anyone got some idea what the hell is going on -- other than Rufus needs to get his head out of his arse and go back to the old nerve personals. | | Wednesday, May 9th, 2007 | 9:23 am
[bart_calendar]
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| | Thursday, April 19th, 2007 | 9:02 am
[bart_calendar]
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Swimingly
Am I missing something or are Synchronized Swimmers supposed to be sex experts? Or, is this perhaps Nerve giggling and saying "Maybe they are gay! We'll ask them questions about blowjobs!" | | Tuesday, April 17th, 2007 | 9:22 pm
[bart_calendar]
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Let's Get Serious
If I'm going to be a "maintainer" I might as well maintain right. This community was started because we loved Nerve and were upset because we saw problems developing. Some of us saw the problems as being mostly related to the Personals, some of us saw them as editorial problems and some of us saw them as a little bit of both. It's been more than 18 months now since then. What have you guys seen happen at Nerve in the meantime? What do you like about Nerve as it is now? What do you not like? Please respond to both questions. There is no point just beating up on Nerve. I want to send our responses to Rufus and Gwen and would like it to be constructive and not destructive. I'm not going to weigh in with my own opinions. I've always felt that editors, maintainers and absolute rulers of Guatemala should remain, publicly at least, unbiased. So, let me know and I'll compose something nice to send off with a summary of our concerns and a link to this post. Bart | 4:57 pm
[bart_calendar]
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Wow, man. Now I can maintain. | | Monday, January 29th, 2007 | 3:38 pm
[bart_calendar]
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| | Friday, January 19th, 2007 | 7:05 pm
[twain]
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Russian dating scammers
Hello pervy people, If you read blog-a-log you may know that I'm looking for people who have had encounters with Eastern European dating scammers. You know, the ones who contact you out of the blue and tell you that they want to hook up with a western guy because all the folks in their town are drunks. Well, that's about the size of it... there's more detail here: http://www.nerve.com/nerveblog/BlogALog.aspx?blogId=72But I'm posting here because I'm looking for your stories, if you have them, about dating scammers of the Russian kind. Email me at: santaphobia@hotmail.com if you can help. | | Monday, December 4th, 2006 | 5:35 pm
[inangkor]
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New York meetup reminder
This is a reminder for everyone - meetup is this weekend. I look forward to meeting all of you and hope you can make it. Who: you + anyone What: meetup When: Saturday, Dec. 9, at around 8 or 9 p.m. Where: Ace Bar, 531 E. 5th St., New York Why: because | | Tuesday, November 21st, 2006 | 5:51 pm
[inangkor]
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Nerve New York meetup info
OK, the Bourgeoise Pig looks cute but too small, and I'm voting no on Jimmy's Corner since I get quite enough of sports bars living in Austin. EDIT: Hold your fire! I didn't know Jimmy's wasn't a sports bar! I'm going off freaking citisearch here. :) Therefore... here's the meetup info. I hope this works for everyone. Who: you + anyone What: meetup When: Saturday, Dec. 9, at 8 p.m. (or should we say 9?) Where: Ace Bar, 531 E. 5th St., New York Why: because I've let Ace know to expect us. I can't wait to meet/see all of you and tap into my inner pool shark! If the above choice doesn't work for you, tell me soon... | | Sunday, July 2nd, 2006 | 3:27 am
[texmorgan]
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Wine and Cheese Party
Hello NIEers, I'm having a wine and cheese party on the 8th. I know I already made a post about this earlier but I'd like to remind you. If you would like to come and meet some cool new people and live in the NYC area email me at texmorgan@gmail.com with the subject wine and cheese please. Also, include your real name and your LJ handle so I know who you are. :) Tex | | Thursday, June 15th, 2006 | 8:30 pm
[twain]
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The Perfect Dating Site...
All in the name of research... what would you guys like a dating site to do? What features do you think are essential, which would be nice to have and which bells and whistles would you be happy to do without? Also - payment structure. How should that work? How much would you be willing to pay? Would you be willing to put up with banners or AdSense if it meant you paying a bit less? | | Tuesday, June 6th, 2006 | 9:41 pm
[texmorgan]
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Wine and Cheese Party
I'm going to have another wine and cheese party on July 8th. If you live in the New York area and would like to come please email me at texmorgan@gmail.com with the subject wine and cheese please. It will be a good time had by all, that I promise you. I'll likely send out the evite next week sometime. | | Friday, June 2nd, 2006 | 10:39 am
[infidelblues]
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You knew it was coming...
Internet firms are asked to keep search records Justice Dept. tells executives it may need data to counter terrorism and child porn Saul Hansell, Eric Lichtblau New York Times Friday, June 2, 2006 The Justice Department is asking Internet companies to keep records on the Web-surfing activities of their customers to aid law enforcement, and may propose legislation to force them to do so. The director of the FBI, Robert Mueller, and Attorney General Alberto Gonzales held a meeting in Washington last Friday at which they offered a general proposal on record-keeping to a group of senior executives from Internet companies, said Brian Roehrkasse, a spokesman for the department. The meeting included representatives from America Online, Microsoft, Google, Verizon and Comcast. The attorney general has appointed a task force of department officials to explore the issue, and that group is holding another meeting with a broader group of Internet executives today, Roehrkasse said. The department also met Thursday with a group of privacy experts. The Justice Department is not asking the Internet companies to give it data about users, but rather to retain information that could be subpoenaed through existing laws and procedures, Roehrkasse said. While initial proposals were vague, executives from companies that attended the meeting said they gathered that the department is interested in records that would allow them to identify which individuals visited certain Web sites and possibly conducted searches using certain terms. It also wants the Internet companies to retain records about whom their users exchange e-mail with, but not the contents of e-mail messages, the executives said. The executives spoke on the condition that they not be identified, because they did not want to offend the Justice Department. The proposal and the initial meeting were first reported by CNet News.com and USA Today. The department proposed that the records be retained for as long as two years. Most Internet companies discard such records after a few weeks or months. In its proposal, the department appears to be trying to determine whether Internet companies will voluntarily agree to keep certain information or if it will need to seek legislation to require them to do so. The request comes as the government has been trying to extend its power to review electronic communications in several ways. The New York Times reported in December that the National Security Agency had gained access to phone and e-mail traffic with the cooperation of telecommunications companies, and USA Today reported last month that the agency had collected telephone calling records. The Justice Department has subpoenaed information on Internet search patterns -- but not the searches of individuals -- as it tries to defend a law intended to protect children from pornography. In a speech in April, Gonzales said investigations into child pornography had been hampered because Internet companies had not always kept records that would help prosecutors identify people who traded in illegal images. "The investigation and prosecution of child predators depends critically on the availability of evidence that is often in the hands of Internet service providers," Gonzales said in remarks at the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children in Alexandria, Va. "This evidence will be available for us to use only if the providers retain the records for a reasonable amount of time." An executive of one Internet provider that was represented at the first meeting said Gonzales began the discussion by showing slides of child pornography from the Internet. But later, one participant asked Mueller why he was interested in the Internet records. The executive said Mueller's reply was: "We want this for terrorism." At the meeting with privacy experts on Thursday, Justice Department officials focused on wanting to retain the records for use in child pornography and terrorism investigations. But they also talked of their value in investigating other crimes like intellectual property theft and fraud, said Marc Rotenberg, executive director of the Electronic Privacy Information Center in Washington. "It was clear that they would go beyond kiddie porn and terrorism and use it for general law enforcement," Rotenberg said. Officials sought to assuage concerns that the retention of the records could compromise the privacy of Americans. But Rotenberg said he left the session with lingering concerns. "This is a sharp departure from current practice," he said. "Data retention is an open-ended obligation to retain all information on all customers for all purposes, and from a traditional Fourth Amendment perspective, that really turns things upside down." At today's meeting with executives of Internet access companies, Justice Department officials plan to go into more detail about what types of records they would like to see retained and for how long, said a Justice Department official who spoke on condition of anonymity. "It will be much more nuts-and-bolts discussions," he said, adding that the department would stop short of offering formal proposals. Current Mood:  pissed off | 12:14 pm
[ex_oscarmadi324]
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You know that friend in high school who whenever they hooked up with a new girl/guy... disappeared
It's so cliché that I'm embarrassed! I have been absent from our post-nerve sanctuary, perusing your missives infrequently, and missing opportunities when you all converge within spitting distance of my home. I apologize for being that guy/girl. I was encouraged by Charlotte to show up again and offer my two cents, this after telling her how I wasn't much for baring my soul to the masses. So I figured what the fuck - maybe I can offer you some entertainment in my stupidity, some validation that you aren't as pathetic as you sometimes feel, or perhaps elicit some pity! So I split up with the wife 10 years ago, and since then I've had 2 or 3 real relationships, and the requisite fuckbuddies etc. The girl I hooked up with right after the split was special, and we were together on and off for about 2 years. She's about 7 years younger than me, and 8 years ago that made a difference. Well to put it bluntly I never got over her, but she went off and got married, and moved to LA. End of story? Not so much. Fast forward to this past February, a week before Valentines Day. I get up early, smoke 3 or 4 cigs, chug a red bull, and check my email - "Hi, Jim! You keep popping in to my head, so I think that means I'm supposed to say hello. How are you?" Now being the cynical fuck that I am, I think, 'hubby trouble". OK, so I bite, write back, things are good blah blah. But I did have to go fishing, and the response came back in minutes. Of course she's divorced people!!! Now every sick twisted fantasy I had for the past 8 years, became a maybe. So what's my next move? I buy a plane ticket for valentine's day silly. Oh just to clarify things, I still hadn't spoken to her on the phone yet - yes I am a hopeless romantic, errrrr I mean loser. The ensuing week was amazing; phone calls, emails, etc. Very high school, very exciting, a lot of fun. By the 3rd day I had to give up the surprise because she was basically imploring me to get out there already. I have to backtrack a bit - I do travel to LA frequently and she knew this too, so the talk of a drop-in had come up. Now add the anticipation to the above and you basically have nuclear fission occurring coast to coast. So I land and head over to her place, we're on the phone while I'm driving, calling out streets, she's screaming that I'm around the corner and wham - there she is. Wow, should have stopped right there. Now all the demons from the past 8 years were laid to rest, and I can move on with my life - I'm at peace. Not so fast there buddy. She's gorgeous by the way, and her body is slamming after 3 or 4 years as a Pilates Teacher. Very hot reunion, very comfortable, not awkward in the least. Holy shit maybe karma is paying off for me - good job Jim!! So we've got 3 days together to feel things out, and see what 'this' is. There is the one awkward moment over dinner the last night as she's describing how heartbroken she is that her marriage didn't work out, even though he's a loser and she despises even the thought of him. Now the plan is for me to go home, give us a chance to breathe for a few days, and see what just happened and if it should keep happening. There's a lot of talk about how this is real and heavy, and not so casual after all. Hey my kid goes to college in 2 years, then she's a portable adult and I can live wherever I want? I always wanted to learn how to surf. Without going into too much detail, a couple of days after I left she suffered an incredibly traumatic experience that would shake anyone. I felt a bit guilty not being there, and even more guilty that this event was hijacking 'my time' in her head. Now everything became about this, and the ensuing baggage and post-traumatic stress. Needless to say the hyper communication we had just enjoyed took a back seat to everything else. This was 3 months ago, and as time has lapsed our communication has become less frequent, and the periods between have grown longer. I had to stop offering to make the trip, even though I've been out there twice for work, and have had to check myself for fear of becoming a pest. Basically it sucks; if my old boggle was whether or not I really loved her in the past, then my new one was whether or not this was just her need to satisfy a lingering curiosity. So there you have it, my life for the past 4 months. | | Saturday, May 27th, 2006 | 2:41 pm
[vegasyogagirl]
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GRRRRRRR.
I'm having a holy hell of a time converting some m4p. files to mp3. or really anything that I can burn and play on a CD. I tried downloading the program that DWill suggested last time I was having issues, but it didn't work. ITunes gives me an error message when I try to change the format, and it doesn't recognize the CD when I burn the files and put it back into the drive. Is anyone out there willing to have me send them the files and play with them? I bought them off of ITunes, so they're MINE. I should be able to burn them onto a CD, but I can't even do that much. Please oh please oh please? I'll be your best friend forever... Current Mood: frustrated | | Sunday, May 21st, 2006 | 9:54 am
[vegasyogagirl]
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I HATE YOU APPLE!
Does anyone know where I can get free software that converts m4p files to mp3? | | Friday, May 19th, 2006 | 3:09 pm
[infidelblues]
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| | Monday, May 8th, 2006 | 3:59 am
[sui_generis]
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Dating n' Shit ... aka stirring the pot
When's the last time we had a good discussion on dating standards in this forum? It's been a while since I can remember hearing other people's opinions on this stuff...
I was going to make a survey post out of this, but I think freeform answers are more interesting. You can answer any or all, whatever you like. But you have to answer honestly, not politically! Make it anonymous if you're shy.
Questions: (feel free to propose any I missed)
1) Do you have absolute dating standards or "rules" that you apply across all candidates, or do you change your standards depending on who you're dealing with? If so, is it a question of who you believe has the upper hand in the pairing? Or something else? (I have "standards" that I sometimes apply like "strikes" -- like if the person is not the hair color or height that I favor, that's one "strike" each, but if they're extraordinary in other ways, it can make up for things.)
2) Speaking of "upper-hand", how do you feel about power dynamics in dating? Should they exist? Do they exist whether they "should" or not? Do they exist in some pairings and not others? What decides who has the upper hand? Attractiveness? Or the person who has the least availability or is the most aloof? Intelligence? Aggressiveness? Or is it just whomever likes the other person the least? And is that a good thing, or twisted? Should these power dynamics exist as a basis for the beginning of a "healthy" relationship at all? (I know talking about power dynamics in this group is a loaded discussion, but what the hell, why not.)
3) How long do you date someone before you consider yourself an exclusive couple with that person? Is this something that you bring up in discussion (and if so, when), or does it just "happen"? Or does it never happen?
4) Here's something that was brought up in another post I think, but I couldn't find which one: At what point do you start to feel funny about the other person logging into the personals every day after you've been dating a while? Date number N? Or after a certain benchmark, like first kiss, or first sleepover? Or never? Speaking of timetables, are there still any standards for that sort of thing? Is second date still the first kiss, Third date is potential sleepover territory? I mean, I've had first date sleepovers that turned into serious long-term relationships and other ones that saved me months of wasted time; but I've also been with folks who were a little gun-shy, where we didn't have sex until several weeks into the relationship. I'm not sure which end of the scale was the odd one.
5) How far in do people start making plans together? I've had women start planning their vacations and free time around my availability on the second date, and on the other end of the spectrum I've also had ones who I was dating exclusively for months who never lifted a finger or showed any interest in scheduling plans around each other at all. I think a large part of this is finding someone who has the same need for space or lack thereof that you do, but is that open for discussion, or does it happen naturally?
6) Is it unrealistic to believe that if any of these issues don't resolve themselves naturally with the people you're dating, that maybe the person isn't right for you, or is that idealistic nonsense and an excuse to avoid discussion? Or on the other hand, does discussing ANY of this with the person you're dating suck all the romance, excitement, or mystery out of things; or make you seem desperate? (My personal opinion is that everyone has the potential to come off as desperate when they find a person who really blows their socks off but isn't on the same page as they are. But I also realize I'm more into communication than most people, and though that's usually a good thing, it can be overdone.)
7) What else did I miss? Hit me with whatever's on your mind in the dating realm...
I'd like to hear anyone's opinions on these questions of "standards". It's stuff I usually never think about until it's too late, so I'm fishing for ideas ahead of time in order to see if I'm on the same page as the N-I-E crowd, at least. (Though I don't know how representative we all are...)
Current Mood: inquisitive
Current Music: I Turned Out a Punk - Big Audio Dynamite | | Friday, May 5th, 2006 | 6:27 pm
[tryrugby]
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A good (and apropriate) line
From the show "Mayo" -- a pretty damn BBC comedy/drama based around a small police team that works out of a trailer in the English countryside -- found of course on BitTorrent "You can write what I know about relationships on the head of a pin.... and still have space left over for "Crime & Punishment" I think we all may be in that boat -- and don't live in denial... Current Mood:  sick | | Sunday, April 23rd, 2006 | 7:24 pm
[sodoff_baldric]
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Another blog-con venue thread
Much as I love Spuyten Duyvil, I shudder to think about spending more than a couple of hours there -- yes, they have over 50 beer choices, but only a handful of those are under $10. If the criteria are places where a dozen or more of us can hang, with an outdoor space, a full bar, and cheap drink options available (which, in New York, I would define as $4) then here are my Williamsburg suggestions: Iona has a great and spacious outdoor area, snacky foods, full bar, and average-or-better beer prices ($5 or $6 a pint). Laila Lounge is spacious inside and out. Full bar, passable beer selection, and usually a couple of shitty-but-cheap options like $3 Rheingold or PBR. My two cents on what's been previously suggested:
- Union Pool is decently-sized inside and out, and will probably have a cheap drink special or two. On the down-side, it is likely to be packed and positively crawling with hipsters. No shortage of tattoo sleeves for the ladies to enjoy, but anyone over age 22 is likely to feel old.
- Blu Lounge is a solid inclement-weather choice. Huge second room apart from the bar area.
- Regarding the East Village or Lower East Side: I am completely at a loss to name a place that could comfortably accomodate a dozen or more of us on a Saturday night, much less one that has an outdoor space. I have no better suggestion than the one I made earlier, Revival, in the Union Square area.
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