Hannah Rose ([info]tweenbein) wrote in [info]naturalliving,
@ 2008-10-03 17:09:00
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Current mood: discontent
Entry tags:advice, sexuality

SSRIs and Sexual Side Effects
Hi everyone.  Thanks again for responding to my previous 2 posts regarding SSRI withdrawls.  At week 2 1/2 I am feeling a lot better.  The only side effects left are occasional lucid dreams and dizzyness.

However, I am concerned about another thing.  The main reason why I decided to come off of SSRIs (specifically Effexor) was because it affected my labido in a way that made it practically nonexistant.  You can imagine how that can affect any relationship =/  Anyway, about a few days after I had first stopped taking Effexor, my labido returned to normal, however, it came back with all of those nasty withdrawl effects.  About a week of feeling sick and having my labido back went by and now I am feeling mostly fine BUT my labido is practically gone again.  Has anyone ever experienced anything like this?  Did my labido return again for a week because of the shock of not having any SSRIs?  I don't know what's happening. 

I feel just fine emotinally and physically now that I am off Effexor.  However, I find that I am depressed and anxious now only because of the strain my lack of labido is putting on my relationship.  My boyfriend mostly understands that SSRIs have that sort of affect on me and its extra confusing for the both of us now that I have been off of Effexor for 2 1/2 weeks.  He takes this to heart which hurts to know. 

Any insight or advice would be much appreciated, as always!


Thank you


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[info]jeni
2008-10-03 08:20 pm UTC (link)
It can take awhile for your libido to fully come back - I've been told up to two months, sometimes. For me, it's about a month. Give it time, it'll come back.

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[info]alexisyael
2008-10-03 08:37 pm UTC (link)
I can't speak to the SSRI effects, but I will say this: libido is not the end all be all of sexuality! ALL sorts of things can depress libido, but you don't have to let that ruin your sex life! Even if your body doesn't feel sexy, you can override that apathy. It takes work, yes. You have to psych yourself up (I like to read or think about sex to help me when I have this problem.) But isn't it worth it?

Also, I'll say this, my libido is timed with my menstrual cycle, so it may be something related to that, as well. But, again: you can override your libido! You do not have to be in the mood to get yourself into the mood to have sex! You just need to be willing to do so.

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[info]tweenbein
2008-10-03 08:39 pm UTC (link)
Yeah, but it's just so hard. I am so aware of the fact that I just don't feel like having sex. I feel like a robot who knows nothing about intimacy =/ I definitely want to work on this because I still DO want to have sex, it's just... getting to the point where I actually want it.

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[info]alexisyael
2008-10-03 08:43 pm UTC (link)
I know. That was me after I had a kid. It is hard work! You have to find out what turns you on all over again (almost) and put your mind to thinking about that stuff (which is hard to do!). I found it was good to read erotica, but other of my friends had more luck writing it themselves!!!

(And I bet the above poster was right, too, and as soon as you unleash the dam, you will be ALL about sex for awhile!!!)

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[info]tweenbein
2008-10-03 08:45 pm UTC (link)
Yeah, the problem is actually REMEMBERING to think about wanting to have sex. I hardly ever think about it. I will be working on trying to keep it conscious.

Thanks for the advice, I may try that! :)

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[info]alexisyael
2008-10-03 08:50 pm UTC (link)
Yes, exactly! Remembering to remember!!!! Maybe you can make a reminder for yourself (I don't know your schedule, so I'm thinking something like): whenever you drink a glass of water, think about how sexy your partner is and what you (used to) like doing with him/ her.

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[info]tweenbein
2008-10-03 08:50 pm UTC (link)
Hahah! Oh my, that sounds like a good idea. I will definitely have to try that. Thanks!

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[info]walksbeauty
2008-10-03 08:57 pm UTC (link)
I really agree with you! Sometimes, for various reasons, libido will vanish... Sometimes it just needs some jumpstarting... They say the mind is the best erogenous zone... Think about sexual things and do things that make you feel sexy (even if not sexual) and just Go for it.. and Have Fun! Everyone will feel happier! Intimacy is a good thing!

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[info]uozlulu
2008-10-03 08:38 pm UTC (link)
I've been on medication that's affected things about me sexually and otherwise. The longer you are on such meds, the longer it takes to recover from what they do to you. Also, getting anxious over the lack of a libido will not help you. When I've been on long term medication and waited for it to come back, it's usually a month or two, but I never have pressure for it to return.

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[info]tweenbein
2008-10-03 08:42 pm UTC (link)
I put the pressure on myself as I fear that my partner feels neglected =/ He says that he understands, but I still catch him getting down in the dumps about it. That is understandable and makes me feel bad.

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[info]uozlulu
2008-10-03 08:43 pm UTC (link)
Well if you get anxious about it, it'll be hard to kindle sexual arousal. You libido isnt' dead, it just needs more coaxing. If you aren't realxed and not stressing over it, then you'll end up having sex. If you stress over it, it won't work out the way you want it to. Sex is for relieving stress, so the trick is to not let it cause you stress.

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[info]tweenbein
2008-10-03 08:44 pm UTC (link)
You're right, I will keep that in mind. Thank you! :)

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[info]limelight_lude
2008-10-04 06:44 pm UTC (link)
My boyfriend's been dealing with my decreasing (to nothing) libido since January of 07. Saintly? Yes he is.

However, your partner will understand if you are just honest with him -- this is what can happen when you come down from any prescription drugs, and it might take a little bit to adjust. All of the suggestions you've received so far are going to be really helpful, and just letting him know how much you're going to work at getting back to your "normal" libido will be helpful. I know it sucks--I've been there too. My SO and I are in a LDR, so it's even harder because we are supposed to cram our sexy time in to a select few hours over a couple of days once every couple months. :(

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[info]watersaredeep
2008-10-03 09:13 pm UTC (link)
Please give it more time! I about died for you when I first read that you were withdrawing from Effexor without the medical step down from it. My heart went out to you as I know first hand how horrible and sick it can make a person. It's not medically suggested for anyone to do that and I'm glad to hear you're ok.

Two and half weeks isn't enough time for your body and brain to readjust to pre-Effexor levels. It seems that it takes most people closer to a month or two.

I think sometimes we just need to remind ourselves to be sensual. Perhaps doing really sensual things for yourself without the pressure of sex might help. Take candle-lit baths with sexy music. Give and receive sensual massages, which just focus on loving your partner without explicit sexual overtones. Send your bf sexy emails. Buy new lingerie which makes you feel sexy. Whatever will work for you as it's going to be different for every woman.

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[info]jennifer19
2008-10-03 09:13 pm UTC (link)
First off- Effexor's an SNRI, not an SSRI. It may take time for your body to come back to normal from any kind of psycotropic medication. 2 1/2 weeks is not a very long time.

Also part of why you were on Effexor might be doing your libido in. Example- depression tends to dampen the libido. If your body is used to the good chemicals being at a certain level and then they suddenly stop when you stop taking your meds, you could be going back into a chemical (and psychological) depression. This is just my experience. I was on Effexor for years and had to wean off from other side effects. My libido was dead for a month or so after I stopped all together so my body could get used to it.

Good luck.

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[info]tweenbein
2008-10-03 09:51 pm UTC (link)
Oh, I had no idea. What is an SNRI?

Thanks, btw :)

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[info]xbrokenxdollx
2008-10-04 10:28 pm UTC (link)
it affects norepinephrine, which is a chemical involved in depression. although effexor also affects serotonin.
i went through the exact same thing with effexor- for a few days after i stopped taking it, my libido came back, then it disappeared. but since coming off it, i have been very depressed and i think that's why it's so low (like the above comment says)...maybe that is going on with you? i don't know.

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[info]jennifer19
2008-10-05 02:11 pm UTC (link)
SNRI is a serotonin-norepinephrine reuptake inhibitor. Works the same way as an SSRI does with serotonin. However, an SNRI also works with norepinephrine, another mood chemical. The drug makes it so that there's more serotonin and norepinephrine in your system than your system normally has.

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[info]ktnboo
2008-10-04 06:29 pm UTC (link)
Depending on the dosage, it can be both.

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[info]jennifer19
2008-10-05 02:12 pm UTC (link)
it effects the serotonin reuptake and the norepinephrine reuptake so technically, it is both combined into one. It's a Serotonin-Norepinephrine Reuptake Inhibitor. SNRIs effect both while SSRIs only effect serotonin.

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[info]rollinsgirl
2008-10-03 09:29 pm UTC (link)
I don't know the answer, but I was thinking this would be a good questions for the people in
[Error: Irreparable invalid markup ('<ljuser="panic_anxiety">') in entry. Owner must fix manually. Raw contents below.]

I don't know the answer, but I was thinking this would be a good questions for the people in <ljuser="panic_anxiety"> , we've been on lots of these types of medications!

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[info]rollinsgirl
2008-10-03 09:31 pm UTC (link)
WOOPS! i screwed that up! try this maybe?

<lj user="panic_anxiety>

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[info]rollinsgirl
2008-10-03 09:32 pm UTC (link)
oh screw it, i guess i don't know how to do that! you get what I mean thought? haha

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[info]tweenbein
2008-10-03 09:56 pm UTC (link)
Thank you, I cross posted this entry there. :)

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[info]carmelized
2008-10-03 09:41 pm UTC (link)
if your liver is overloaded from the drug, it may not be filtering hormones from your bloodstream properly. This can lead to excess estrogen and not enough progesterone in relation which kill your libido. You could try a combination of liver cleansing and hormone balancing herbs to help your body re-adjust naturally. Dandelion root is an excellent liver cleanser. It's always good to try reducing which hormones are out of balance before choosing herbs or vitamins to specifically target those though. sometimes your body will give you some good clues which are dominant and which are lacking.

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[info]darkenedminds
2008-10-04 04:07 am UTC (link)
Effexor does not accumulate in the liver and has a relatively short half-life, so I advise against a liver "cleanse" since it probably wouldn't do much in that arena. The liver thing is described the in the pharmaceutical packet, and http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/9588310 details on the half-life and withdrawal reactions.

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[info]carmelized
2008-10-04 07:03 am UTC (link)
It may not accumulate in the liver, but it is heavily metabolized by the liver, and the metabolites are flushed out by the kidneys. (The link you provided only showed the abstract, and after clicking the link there to see the full text, the resulting page was an error. This is info I managed to glean elsewhere.) Affecting liver function is a possibility as a result of any metabolic process.

Regardless, using dandelion root is not some crazy liver "cleanse". It's an overall, generally safe, nutritious plant which is really more of a nutritional food than a medicinal plant. It is a good source of iron, potassium, and sodium, and it balances the electrolytes. It is also a mild tonic for the endocrine system. Libido problems are usually the result of a hormonal imbalance, which can occur from any number of chain reactions in the body. Even if the particular cause of this does not originate in the liver, we live in toxic environments, and nobody keeps a perfect diet, so a gentle supplement which also happens to strengthen the liver to help the body process these things would only help and not hinder.

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[info]kotorifuu
2008-10-03 10:20 pm UTC (link)
I don't know about the specific meds you were on, but my BC pills effected me greatly. After being off about a month, it came back, and I was very happy about that, as was hubby! lol. But now I'm preggo and it's gone again. :/ Hubby might take it personally, but ho he also tries to be understanding.
I'd let your man know that it's definately not that you're not attracted to him, because you are, but you're still adjusting to comming of your meds, and it may take a bit longer. In the mean time, try to do other things to let him see your affection and know you appreciate him. They do have pills I've seen in the vitamin aisle that are specifically for getting your labido up, if you're interested in trying that once in awhile. I wouldn't rely on it all the time, but it may be benificial to try once in awhile.

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[info]sweetseadragon
2008-10-04 04:49 am UTC (link)
I have been on a number of antidepressants that affected my libido, Effexor being one of them but I don't remember how long it took for sexual desires to return. Earlier this year, in the beginning of April, I began to taper down on Lexapro while remaining on Wellbutrin (which has never had any sexual side effects for me). It wasn't until FOUR MONTHS later that my sex drive returned to my personal norm. And, sorry if this is TMI, the intensity of my orgasms was very, very weak until September.

Although some people say it can take 2 months I am obviously a case that indicates it can be longer. You must also factor in other stressors from everyday life, relationships and the actual process of going off of the medications. If you are taking other medications such as hormonal birth control that may be an additional factor.

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[info]tweenbein
2008-10-04 11:49 am UTC (link)
the intensity of my orgasms was very, very weak until September

SAME HERE!

Thanks a lot, it's good to know I'm not alone!

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[info]limelight_lude
2008-10-04 06:38 pm UTC (link)
I never had sexual side effects with Wellbutrin, either, and I was on Wellbutrin and Wellbutrin XL.

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[info]xbrokenxdollx
2008-10-04 10:30 pm UTC (link)
wellbutrin is supposed to be the antidepressant that doesn't mess with libido.

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[info]trip_tych
2008-10-04 02:20 pm UTC (link)
I came off of antidepressants because of the sex drive thing. The first couple weeks was a rush, then it dropped off again, and now it's mostly evened out.
I don't know the half-life of Effexor but it can take a lot more than 2.5 weeks for your body to adjust to the changes of being off the medication, especially if you just dropped off cold turkey. Especially with Effexor.
One thing that's helped my relationship is talking with my partner about fantasies and stuff, discussing things I find sexy or turn ons and going in that direction.

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[info]limelight_lude
2008-10-04 06:37 pm UTC (link)
Between an HBC and an SSRI, I lost all libido, and after cutting them out (the SSRI January 07 and the HBC just recently) completely, my libido's come back stronger. You can also use muira puama or other herbal treatments to help jumpstart your drive. :) Swanson (the site I sent you to for muira puama, a reliable mail-order vitamin/supplement service) has a lot of "jump your libido" pills, and some are very effective.

Also, exercise is VERY good at jump-starting libidos. (Like I said, I JUST got mine back.)

Good luck! Let me know if you have any questions.

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[info]limelight_lude
2008-10-04 06:45 pm UTC (link)
I also wanted to ask, are you on any hormonal birth control? I stopped mine after two years of steady use because I diminished into a completely sexual hermit.

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[info]nenaknight
2008-10-04 07:48 pm UTC (link)
I was on Lexapro for about a year and I found myself MORE anxious and depressed due to sexual side effects. I still had a small amount of desire, just not able to "GET THERE". If I did manage to "get there" was mimimal at best. I was left frustrated, angry and feeling like a failure.

Once titrated off the drug, I added Kava Kava tincture for mental stability. Took me about 6-8 weeks or 2 menstrual cycles before drive and ability for climax to return to what I felt was normal level.

During that time of Lexapro hell, I did have to focus on the love we have and my want to be there for him.

Hope you find yourself again soon! {hugs}

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[info]indefatigable42
2008-10-06 07:52 pm UTC (link)
I had very little sex drive when my depression was untreated, and again very little once I got on the medication. :P I'm not sure if I just have a naturally low libido or if the depression and the meds both have similar detrimental effects.

Keep this in mind: if you were a cancer patient and didn't want sex because it hurt or you were too tired, would it be an issue with your boyfriend or with your own self esteem? If not, it shouldn't be an issue just because the illness is a mental one.

If you both trust each other and are accepting of the problem, and nobody's being pushy, you might both find you're more willing to do what the other one needs. For example, are you willing to play around (e.g. hand jobs, cuddling, humping) in ways that give him stimulation when he wants it even if you don't want to go further?

I also found that my turn-ons were extremely different whether I was on or off the meds -- before, I could get by with just physical stimulation, whereas with the medication I need more emotional/mental input or fantasy.

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