Naruko -- a crack!Naruto RPG

Personal time had been hard to come by for Sakurai. If he wasn't at the hospital he was usually training under Tsurude learning a new jutsu or medical method. (Well actually lately Shishou had him mostly running paper errands, delivering reports and whatnot. Anything that didn't have an official seal already on it Sakurai often breezed through, thus taking up a little more of his time accumulatively.) But right now he'd caught a break, and was going to make good, relaxing use of it. That meant the library.

While Sakurai knew it also would have been a good time to catch up with friends and teammates, he'd been around enough people for the day and knew he could use some unwinding before dealing with more--especially people he really cared about. Work detox, then socializing.

Sakurai decided to just do some casual reading, sitting down in a relatively lone corner of the library with only a few books: Medicinal Discoveries of the West, Chakra and Genetics (the Tenth Edition), and volume VI in The Official Encyclopedia of Herbs, three hundred and eighty-nine pages of plant life, their uses, and the regions you find them (ooooohohoho).

He should be done with these in about six hours. Aaaaaah, finally the time to relax.

Sakurai had never thought he’d see Nejiko in the hospital for anything short of massive surgery. …Alright, that was a slight exaggeration but not by much. Sakurai had always thought Sachiko and Nejiko were alike in that regard: tough, proud and stubborn; they would ignore anything wrong with their body that didn’t bleed for three days. (Maybe that was a tiny exaggeration too.) So it was surprising when he was handed Nejiko’s chart for review and found she was suffering from nothing more than a mild case of malnutrition.

According to her doctor’s notes, she wasn’t eating much and currently they kept her on an IV to keep her fluids and vitamins up. But the soups they were giving her often didn’t stay down but there were no signs of any related disorders or symptoms. She just…wasn’t able to eat much.

During a lunch break, Sakurai took a slight personal interest in the case. His own bento (and an extra treat stolen from the kitchens) in hand, he walked the halls until he came to the right room. Inside, Nejiko had already received her lunch but that’s about all she seemed to have done with it. He rapped on the side of the door.

“Hey Nejiko. Mind if I join you?”

[ooc: takes place approximately a week or two after everyone's back in Konoha post-gala. This log was done before Ziri left and I've been sitting on it until the gala was over.]


( So keep holding on. )

continued from here

---

Ibiki and Asuka were not to be easily found, Sachiko quickly realized as she and Sakurai scoured the panicked mass. Not good, she reflected. Maybe she ought to have told at least one of the kage bunshin to find Asuka and/or Ibiki before scattering them, but too late now. Especially because the crush of people had pushed herself and Sakurai out of the main hall.

Sachiko just wanted to find a space that was more clear to better let her look around and get an idea of what was going on. And she wouldn't get anything from the kage bunshin unless they were disspelled or they found her again. She felt like she was running around blind, and the smoke from the explosions wasn't helping matters. In the meantime, they did what they can to help the guards corral the civilians

Some time later when the crush of people lessened, she turned to Sakurai. "Maybe we should fi--" Her words cut off abruptly, eyes unfocusing as she suddenly received one of the bunshin's experiences. She saw the oranged-masked Akatsuki, and the woman's intent before the physical blow destroyed the bunshin.

Sachiko's face paled even as she quietly indulged in some heart-felt swearing. "Akatsuki," she muttered. Then: "Not my sister. But looking for me."

And people wondered why she never let up on how much her life sucked.

( Mina is too tired to be witty )

Sachiko watched Sakurai vanish into the crowd, his fervent promises to return as quickly as he was able still in her ears. It certainly wasn't his fault that he was needed, but his going and her staying meant she was without the buffer she needed to fend off and/or deal with ( unwanted would-be suitors. )

Uchiha Madara knew that, sometimes, some things worked out really really well. It had taken some nudging and manuvering but it seemed that someone was going to act on Sasoriza's... tragic... death all those months ago. It really wasn't surprising that it was the hot headed Deidara; TobiMadara could care less. She was just pleased that SOMETHING was going to happen. And while Tobi was freaked out by Deidara's 'art'... Madara thought it was funny as hell to see people screaming and on fire.

No one ever said she was stable~

The masked woman sat on the back of one of the giant clay birds, humming as they came upon the Daiymo's palace. It was large, sprawling, with a lot of places and a lot of rooms. It was even possible that they could hit one place and the other end wouldn't know it! And somewhere in there was Sarutobi Asuka, the shinobi who had managed to fell the always dangerous Sasoriza. As Deidara swooped down, dropping a few bombs, her plan was obvious: blow the shit out of everything until she found the woman she was looking for.

Throwing her arms up, TobiMadara smiled. "Wheeee!"

( Sachiko has a question... )

Naruko had finally given up, she couldn't think of what to get Sakurai at all. All attempts had led to failure or had been shot down repeatedly by Inosuke. Which led to Naruko being very, very late at delivering the presents.

But when driven to the point of desperation, Naruko got brilliant. The moments of brilliance were usually very brief, but she clung to them with the determination of a drowning sailor clinging to the lifeboat. This plan took a bit of preparations, but that was fine, she'd taken a couple of days to get all the items she needed, and she was set.

( She was probably going to regret this later )

Sachiko let the genjutsu disperse with a faint wheeze before plodding heavily to her focus-object. She was moving past birdhouses-turned-waystations to something a bit more complicated: making a genjutsu that was barely related to the focus. In fact, she wasn't sure how the hell the illusion she had crafted related in any way to a spoon, except to say they both had metal components. The spoon was retrieved, studied for any defects (too much chakra in the object warped it), then when satisfied she slipped the utensil into her pouch.

She couldn't say the training wasn't paying off. Between Kureno's water exercise and her own determination, she was making progress in not just the quality of her illusions but her own chakra control as well. The real surprise was that she was finding the latter more satisfying than the former. She wanted to get good at genjutsu, but man. She should have started this sort of thing with chakra control a long time ago.


Sakurai looked around, taking in all the results of Sachiko's training (a lot of which he only helped in by offering a tip or two) and summing it up into one word. "...Wow."

( Time for a break. )

[[Set back perhaps mid-November? Not long after the Chuunin Exams.]]


( She just wanted to go home. )

[set after Kakami and Rin make up at Aki's, so the day after the Oto mission returns]

( Sakurai wasn't interested in talking so much as he was interested in putting that weasel Rin in the hospital. ...er...in the...other part of the hospital )

( So you know what you failed...Do you know why? )

ooc: As this seems to be in style, I share the music used to write this.

Even though Hidden Rock was the host for this jounin exam, they didn't get to decide on the individual tests by themselves. A committee with members from all the villages had met several months ago to agree upon how the exam would be organized. The mental part was easy, each village submitted a question that was designed to test either the intelligence of the applicant or his ability to spy on his neighbor. Everyone expected this part of the exam, it was there primarily to weed out the applicants who were no where near ready to be jounin.

The second part varied based on the location of the exam. Hidden Rock was nestled against a series of treacherous mountains, where temperatures varied dramatically from the frozen summits to boiling mineral springs that carved niches throughout the base. However, again this exam was relatively simple. Applicants were dropped somewhere on the mountain chain and given a rendezvous point. It was never said you had to fight anyone but very few people made it to the end point without at least one battle. Despite the air of cooperation that accompanied the exam, village rivalries ran deep.

( The last part always proved the most difficult. )

[not sure yet where this fits in the timeline, but soon as I know, I'll let you know, sna <3] sometime in july


The notes to all volunteering parties had been sent out once Sachiko had a date herself for her moving-out. (As a courtesy she also included a time. That way she didn't have to worry about her own routine being interrupted.) She had found it so, so hard to not pack up everything herself. Amazing how little she had to call her own.

Finally she couldn't stand it anymore and packed her remaining items and clothes. The only clothing items she would be leaving behind were the ones with the Uchiha fan still emblazoned on the back. The time to wear those again wasn't now.

She was just finishing with taping the last cardboard box when she heard knocking at the door. Quickly she ripped the edge of the tape and pressed it down before standing and going to the door, opening it wide.

"Hey," she greeted.

Tentsuke hadn't wasted any time after getting confirmation from both Sakurai and Inosuke.  After all, this was a problem that needed to be fixed ASAP.  He took one final glance at his reflection in the mirror, pulling pitifully at the clumps of uneven hair.  Mika walked in, happy to see her master home and had run off whining with her tail between her legs in fear.

Tentsuke sighed and rummaged through his drawers, finding a long forgotten hat.  He tried to wear it but it was obviously from a few years ago and barely fit on his head.  He growled slightly and stomped off, finding a cloak and wearing it over his entire person, drawing the hood over his head.  Sure it was June. Sure it was hot and humid outside.  But there was no way he was walking to Inosuke's not hiding his hair.  He could suffer a bit of discomfort for the sake of his pride.

He walked quickly down the streets, actively avoiding everyone until he finally reached the right street.  Then he just broke out into a run, heading straight for Inosuke's and pounding on the door until it opened.

[[Set immediately after this thread, which was set immediately after the thread where Kiba takes Sachiko to Kureno.]]


Seventy-two hours was WAY TOO LONG to keep a shift at the hospital. Period.

At fifty-nine hours his chakra ran out. At sixty-four hours the coffee ran out. At seventy hours his sanity was approaching danger levels. Now, as he trudged home nearly in the middle of the night, Sakurai wondered if he should have remained at there and saved other people the trouble of dragging his carcass back to the hospital. Because when he got home he was going to fall into bed and DIE. The Eternal Sleep. Oh man did that sound sooooo good right now. If he was lucky, Inosuke was out shacking up with Shikako in a place that was not their apartment, and so he'd have some nice peace and quiet all to himself. Nothing to stop him from kicking off his shoes, crawling under his nice soft sheets, and just lapsing into a coma. Aaaah, yeah. Then a shower if he didn't actually manage to die, followed by a nice cup of coffee and a hot breakfast and how long did their apartment have that door with the green trashcans there?

( Coming to a halt, Sakurai summon the analytical power needed to observe his surroundings and realize...he'd turned down the wrong street. )

( It had only taken almost four years, but finally Sachiko had managed to do what she'd tried to back at the Valley - break that bond with Naruko. )

( Fear no more the midnight )

To say that Sakurai looked like hell would be an understatement. The boy was too pale, too skinny, even his normally bright pink hair had lost most of its shine. He looked very small in the hospital bed he was in, the white only making him look all the paler. And this was AFTER Tsurude's healing. He was only distantly aware of how much time had passed since he was taken. It was hard to judge time in a cell without windows of any kind, only able to judge by when he was brought food - and after the first week he wasn't coherent enough to keep track of those. It felt like a lifetime, that was all that mattered.

None the less, he weakly said he would be fine for visitors if anyone actually wanted to come.

He had to keep reminding himself that his friends weren't dead. That was just a trick of Orochimayu's. A very, very believable one when showed so many times.

[OOC: Okay, we're going to do something different this time! Each comment thread started to this post will be like a new scene, that way we don't have like fifty "visiting Sakurai thread!" spams, but everyone can have their alone time with the pink wonder. Inosuke also gets dibs on first visit, so whenever that thread gets started treat it as though it came first. Savvy?]