Lost In The Prescription (Chapter oo1)
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Jul. 13th, 2008 | 09:38 pm
music: Helena- Misfits
posted by: ![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif)
saintsorladders in ![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/community.gif)
my_chemical_fic
Not sure if I'm doing this right... but I definitely think everyone should cut me a little slack because it's the first time I've posted IN a community. (Yes, I realise this isn't the best excuse) Anyway, I wrote this story at the start of last year, and finished not too long after. No one has corrected it - except for myself. Hopefully that isn't a problem.
Title: Lost In The Prescription
Author:
saintsorladdersRating: NC-17
Pairings: Mikey Way+Girl
Disclaimer: Everything in this story is fictional- 'make-believe' if you will. Allcharacters/people are not owned or associated with the story in anyway. The only thing/persons owned by me are the original characters- Gerard, Ray, Mikey, Frank and Bob own themselves.
Summary: Mikey and Lee have been bestfriends since the begining of middle school. Will they let there own lives ruin their chance at friendship? Will they realise their feelings for one another? Or will things end badly (which, deep down, neither of them really want)?
Mikey Way went missing.
Not missing as in the physical aspect of the word. Mikey wouldn’t talk; he wouldn’t make social contact with anyone. Mikey would just lie quietly in his bunk and keep to himself, no resemblance of the boy I grew up with at all. The boy who would keep me company when things got hard at home, the boy who loaned me CDs, even if he knew there was a high chance he wouldn’t be seeing them for a while, the boy who took me to shows... He was gone. Now he was just an empty shell; an empty shell that occasionally drank, took too many pills and played bass for that band. Mikey was not Mikey anymore. As much as I didn’t want to believe it, he was gone.
Some nights he left for days on end, taking nothing but the shirt on his back, and I would lose hope. Every time he left could have been the last time I’d see him - I had to prepare myself for that every time he stepped off the bus. And even when he would show up at the next venue a few days later, smelling of cheap bourbon and bile, it would go back to the same - lying in his bunk, staring up at the off-white underside of the bunk above.
I would try to talk with him, but my attempts would be ignored; I would be shrugged off. And it killed me. It killed me to know that I, his best friend, couldn’t even make him speak, let alone smile. I hated that Gerard would lecture me on how I needed to help him; I was the only one he ever really trusted. Don’t get me wrong, I wanted nothing more than to be able to help him, but this - coming from a man, Mikey’s brother, who just so happened to be doing the exact same thing, maybe even to a higher extent - was like the pot calling the kettle black.
I’ll admit that I doubted myself, Mikey, and our friendship on countless occasions. Let’s just say I wasn’t known as the strong one in our small circle of friends. I was a lame excuse for a human being. In all honesty, I was weak and I didn’t know how to change that. I didn’t even know if I could change that. I mean, I was a young woman, hailing from New Jersey, living off my best friend’s back, finding it impossible to function like a ‘normal’ person.
Maybe this is why I never really noticed the moment when Mikey slipped away. I was too self absorbed in trying to work out myself to notice that Mikey may have needed me. No, he did need me and I lost the chance to help.
---
I sat with my legs tucked to my chest, picking at the loose thread in the ever-expanding hole in my jeans, staring off into the dark hall that led to where the bunks were. It was late, I noticed, but the pang in my stomach kept my eyes from drifting closed, letting me forget the horrible mess I call life for the night. Although my intention of sitting in the small kitchenette was to relieve my hunger pains, as soon as I sat myself down, opening a bag of unsalted pretzels in the process, I found myself staring down that hall. How I longed for Mikey to shuffle into the kitchenette, rubbing the sleep from the corner of his eyes and smiling, just like he used to. I pushed a few more pretzels into my mouth, munching on them slowly, still with my eyes down the hall. It seemed that ‘normality’ was out of my grasp.
Satisfied that my stomach was not growling in agony, I headed towards the hall, tossing the empty packet to the trash on my way past. I tapped softly on the wood of Mikey’s bunk, pulling back the curtain and taking a look inside. Sure enough, he was there; staring up at the uninteresting underside of the bunk above.
“Hey, Mikey,” I whispered, smiling just briefly. I waited for an answer, but, not surprisingly, he ignored me. “Gerard’s worried about you.” I told him in a whisper once again. Still, Mikey didn’t budge, his eyes still on the before mentioned area. “I’m worried about you...” I mumbled incoherently, regretting the sentence as soon as it left my lips.
Mikey cast his gaze to me, obviously hearing my last confession, although I wished he hadn’t. I pushed at his sides so he would move over, making room for me. I let my head fall on his pillow, sliding the curtain back over in the process. We lay there, silent, letting an awkward silence creep into the space. I watched our chests as they rose and fell in unison and listened to the sounds that escaped past Mikey’s lips.
“Are you okay?”
I knew he wasn’t going to answer that. Mikey had barely spoken a word in the past week, not even a simple ‘hello’ or ‘good morning’, so, naturally, I assumed he wouldn’t be telling me his problem. The bunk above seemed to be the only thing with Mikey’s attention.
“Why won’t you talk to me? You know you can, right?”
Mikey sighed, nodding his head. I turned, wrapping my arms around his waist and kissing his cheek, then letting my head fall back to the pillow.
“I’m here for you, just like you were for me.” I sighed, my eyes feeling the need to close and sleep soon taking over me.
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linerlover
date: Jul. 13th, 2008 03:25 pm (UTC)
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its so sad, but so cute.
more soon? =]
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saintsorladders
date: Jul. 13th, 2008 03:28 pm (UTC)
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thanks.
definitely more soon... stay tuned XD
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starcr0ssedlvrs
date: Jul. 29th, 2008 05:25 am (UTC)
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saintsorladders
date: Aug. 11th, 2008 12:12 am (UTC)
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Imma updating it now XD
So it'll be up in the community within the next few days- hopefully.
xx
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