When Changmin finally woke his first instinct was to grab frantically at the clock, was relieved when he realized he had only been napping for about an hour.  His glance shifting Changmin saw Yunho lying to his side, curled up into himself exposed tot he cold of the room, blankets pooled at his feet.  Changmin's heart ached, bled for the man as the light bulb in his brain seemed to glow at least a few watts brighter.  How could he be so blind, especially when his best friend was the self-proclaimed gossip queen turned love doctor.  Sitting up to take a hold of the sheets he pulled them so that he could at least shelter some of Yunho from the cold, laid down to be frightened as Jaejoong stared at him. 
"How long have you been staring at me? God that's creepy," Changmin scoffed rolling his eyes, pulled back as Jaejoong tried to attach his lips to the younger student's collar bone but couldn't escape being pulled close to the other male.  "No," Changmin glared slapping at Jaejoong's hands, every intention of being stern.

"What's your problem little book worm? Suddenly grow a conscience?" the other mocked laying back down, resigned to keep his hands to himself; wishing he was closer to Yunho's skin.

"You could say that," Changmin narrowed his eyes trying to find the fortitude to press ahead with his opinion, screw his courage to the sticking place and all that.  "I don't like being apart of your twisted relationship."

"What relationship?" Jaejoong canted a well shaped eyebrow towards Changmin.

"The one that leaves Yunho fighting back tears at my side," Changmin's voice was barely above a whisper but the expression that he saw cross Jaejoong's face was like he had just punched him in the stomach with every ounce of strength that he had.  Did he really not know or was he just that big of an un-caring, arrogant asshole.   Jaejoong shook his head rising on an elbow to look down at Changmin as if it would give him a leg up on their growing argument, glanced over at Yunho to assure himself that the man was still asleep.

"Excuse me? Since when did you have the right to dictate how I treat Yunho?" Jaejoong almost laughed the facade back up but it was cracked; weakened, never to be the same.

"Since you pulled me into bed with the two of you, since I can't understand how you can say those things about him, treat him like that and call yourself a human being with actual emotions.  You're never gentle, you never kiss him, do you ever just slow down, think about his pleasure, his needs besides your own or are you just that selfish?"  Changmin let his anger vomit out of his mouth and he thought he was physically shaking stopped at his last sentence  and it hit him like a bullet in the head, the point Yoochun was trying to get across to him all along and he wished the bullet had killed him.

"Yunho knows I don't mean it, he never complains,"  the lye burned in Jaejoong's throat.  It wasn't like he had ever given him much of a chance to.  "Maybe when you grow up you'll understand all of those things are for stupid romance novels, you're just too young to realize it.  My life is not a romance novel Changmin, it's a short indie film based on realism and an uncaring world,"  Jaejoong's eyes flashed; anger, sorrow, hurt, Changmin couldn't tell but he was beginning to form a hypothesis on the man's thought process.

"The world is not uncaring, Yunho cares," the young student mentally thew his hands up in frustration.  Why did he have to make friends with the two most pig-headed people on the planet; Junsu included.

"No he doesn't little book worm," Jaejoong spat and he was beginning to get frustrated.  "We have a mutual friendship interspersed with good fucks, but he doesn't care about me, not in the way you are trying to imply."

"I think you've smoked  one joint  too many, honestly are you that stupid?  He worships the ground you walk on, I have yet to figure out why, but he does.  And what do you do? Fuck me half blind behind the couch and then pull me into bed with the two of you.  Don't tell me you can't see it, how he goes along with it, gives in because you want it.  How many other guys have you slept with around him?"

"Shut up!" Jaejoong snarled.  "I don't have to take this from you.  He's allowed to fuck whoever he wants to. You..."

"But he doesn't does he?" Changmin cut him off.  "It's you; the world starts and stops with you only you're too blind to see it.  Instead you let him panhandle for every scrap of attention you give him.  I can see the way his eyes change when you touch him, when you're smile softens when you're making stupid jokes about bacterial strains for fuck sake.  So why don't you stop being an ice princess and open your mind to the realm of possibility that people, that Yunho can feel this way?"

"What the fuck do you know anyway!?," Jaejoong's voice began to rise as his nostrils flared like a bull seeing red.  "You come over every so often and you think you know me, know Yunho?  You don't know shit, you talk about caring for people when  you can't even keep your own relationship together..." the sting that rang across Jaejoong's cheek as Changmin slapped him left red marks shimmering on his cheek bone.

"I'm in high school, I'm allowed to fuck up and I know more than you think, you're excuses are falling short Jaejoong and don't for one second think you can change the subject," Changmin began to shake in anger, in the audacity he felt for treating someone older than himself this way, but he couldn't let it go.  His senses shifted as he felt the bed move beside him; knew that Yunho was beginning to stir with all of the noise they were making.  shit  He felt a hand rub against his back before the sleepy whisper hit his ears.  "sshhh, Changmin it's ok., just leave him alone."

"He doesn't love me," Jaejoong's voice pulled Changmin in the other direction and the older man seemed as if he had had enough of arguing.  "No one loves me, I don't need it, it just falls apart then all that's left is pain."
Jaejoong got quiet and Changmin was caught somewhere between shock and sadness for him.  Realized in that moment that he really wasn't a completely insensitive ass, he was just scared, terrified to put his heart in someone else's hands.

"I love you, I'm sorry I've never told you," Yunho's voice sounded sleep laden as he sat up, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes before reaching over Changmin to take Jaejoong's hand, the younger student seeing his cue to leave; felt as though he had overstayed his welcome especially considering the rampage he had just been on.  Perhaps if the world had some sort of "right way up" the two of them could work it out, he thought as he slide down the bed towards his clothes on the floor, was almost there when he felt a pull at his ankle and he just about fell off the bed.  Looking back he glared at his assailant, Jaejoong's fingers still wrapped around his skin.

"And what about you oh fountain of insufferable wisdom? Don't choke on your own advice now," Jaejoong called to him, calling Changmin to turn back and face the firing squad.  Grabbing at the very least his boxers Changmin turned back around; watched Jaejoong take a deep breath, looked a bit uncomfortable as Yunho scooted close enough to share his personal space

"I... that's different, he doesn't love me, he just says he does.  But don't ask anyone else; he doesn't even stand close to me when we're in public together.  That's when he's my long lost relative from America."  If the bitterness in Changmin's retort dripped a colour it would have been black.

"What' is he horribly disfigured or something?" Jaejoong stared at Changmin, his anger towards the high school student slowly dissipating.

"No, he's twenty-six," Changmin rolled his eyes, leave it to Jaejoong to be an  insincere ass.  So much for the intervention.  Jaejoong just snickered.  "Well, I guess from your perspective that should be ancient.  I'm surprised he can still perform sexually at his age," Jaejoong cackled clutching his sides in laughter and Changmin's eyes threw daggers at the man.  At least Yunho had the decency to look like he understood Changmin's position.

"And he's my high school music teacher," Changmin let the other shoe drop.

"Oh.  Damn."

"Changmin," Yunho cut off any retort Jaejoong might have made.  "I don't understand.  You've told yourself it's ok to cheat on your boyfriend because he doesn't show you affection when you're out together?"

Changmin could see the older man running his words through his head, Changmin had never seen Yunho get angry, doubted he was going to now, but he could feel the lecture he was going to get and it brought him back to feeling like a child again, like he should be defiant and protest against listening only he couldn't.  "Yes," the word sounded meek.

"For all your intelligence you're still just a selfish child,"  Yunho sighed.  "The outside world is a cruel place Changmin, just as cruel as not being the cool kid in high school.  Putting aside the fact that he's your teacher he's a lot older than you, he's a man; how do you think people would react?"

Changmin didn't speak.  It was a rhetorical question and you never speak when someone is lecturing you.


"Now compound that by the fact that he is your teacher, what if you were out together and the principle saw you sneaking a kiss? There's more to caring for someone; loving someone than running around telling every person you know and twenty more you don't.  That's just wanting attention, being selfish.  The only person who really needs to know is the one that your love is for.  IF you really care for him, you have to trust him to love you in return even if it seems terrifying because you may just end up with something worth all the initial fear," Yunho trailed off looking up at Jaejoong before he slid off the side of the bed and padded towards the bedroom door and Changmin knew that the last  sentence was as much for him as it was for Jaejoong.  "Perhaps you should take some time to think about that," he turned to say before disappearing into the hall.


Jaejoong just stared at him stupidly but he could see the older man's mind turning over the Yunho's words and the morning's events, processing them, possibly coming to terms with them.  Changmin hopped so.  "I think I have to go," the younger student mumbled grabbing for the rest of his clothes blindly and Jaejoong just nodded staring at his hands.