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The rush that comes with watching the good fall never gets old, not for Sam Winchester, crowned King of all Hell. Every God-faring man who looks up at him with eyes as black as the pits he commands sends a thrill through his body, every good Catholic girl who screams out blasphemies as he takes them hard against the back of his throne sets his heart soaring. Because he is corruption embodied, and doing this makes him dizzy with power. Makes him the closest thing to God that could possibly exist in this Godless dimension.

But humans are small fare. No human can be completely Good, doused as they are in Sin from the moment of their birth. No, the greatest satisfaction comes with the greatest fall, and so imagine his satisfaction when a blessed angel is dragged to his feet. And not just any angel. No, he could not imagine any greater gift that this poor soul laid out before him now.

Cut for length and darkness )

Muse: Sam Winchester
Fandom: Supernatural
Verse: Irony
Word count: 657
 
 
04 March 2009 @ 04:02 am
Well, I'm not entirely certain, but I think our wonderful Mistress of prompts, [info]vertical_chaos is fighting the last gasp of winter weather in New York, so I'm posting a prompt list I put together tonight, not knowing what she had planned for this month. I hope everyone finds some inspiration in this list.

21.09. The question isn't who is going to let me; it's who is going to stop me. ~ Ayn Rand

22.09. I’m afraid sometimes you’ll play lonely games too. Games you can’t win, because you play against you. ~ Dr. Seuss

23.09. Don’t cry because it’s over; smile because it happened. ~ Dr. Seuss

24.09. This must be Thursday. I could never get the hang of Thursdays. ~ Douglas Adams

25.09. We have normality. I repeat we have normality, Therefore anything you still can’t cope with is therefore your own problem. ~ Douglas Adams

26.09. I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by. ~ Douglas Adams

27.09. You're only given a little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it. ~ Robin Williams

28.09. Sacred cows make the tastiest hamburgers. ~ Abbie Hoffman

29.09. I like myself better when I’m not me. ~ Carol Burnett

30.09. Life must go on; I forget just why. ~ Edna St, Vincent Millay
 
 
Considering the ease with which I've been able to let go of people and things in the past, I find it surprising that I'm having a really hard time letting something go right now. I didn't think about it for months because I've been so happy with Tom, and I assumed that I would eventually hear something. But I didn't and now I'm feeling a bit fucked over. And I hate it.

I know what it is. In the past, I've dropped friends on my own terms. I've never been dropped and it sucks. I know it's most likely a big karmic slap in the face, but that doesn't mean I have to like it.

It's been suggested that I seek out the guilty party and try to settle things, but, you know what? If he can't give a shit about saying one word to me after everything he shared with me, then fuck him. I don't need to worry about it. I guess I'm just too rotten to deserve any friends. Whatever.

I'm moving on. I'm moving past it.

I hope his new girlfriend dumps him.

Muse: Dev Quinn
Fandom: Original character
Word count: 187
 
 
09 February 2009 @ 12:30 am
115.08 ~ "I've had nothing yet", Alice replied in an offended tone: "so I ca'n't take more."
"You mean you ca'n't take *less*. It's very easy to take *more* than nothing."
the Mad Hatter's response to Alice (Lewis Carroll)


I never thought I'd say this, but I'm going to have to give up on my dream of becoming an actor. Anyone who knows me knows that I'm not coming to this decision easily. I've wanted nothing but this for as long as I can remember. I went to school to study acting, I worked my ass off to get parts, and then, in one single fucked up night, I lost everything I'd worked for.

That's a fucking joke. It makes it sound as if I actually had something. I didn't. I tried to play it up as if my pathetic bit parts in community theater productions actually meant something, but they didn't. Even that asshole agent of mine never really got me anything. The big, fabulous dream I'm giving up on is a whole lot of nothing and that's all it ever was. In a way, I'm not losing a damn thing. So why does it feel as if my life's over?

Fuck, I can't even be angst ridden without it sounding like a goddamn joke. I'm already dead. My fucking life is over. And I want to kill the bitch responsible for that.

Josh Breskin
Original Character
195 words
 
 
01 February 2009 @ 07:10 pm
11.09. Change happens by listening and then starting a dialogue with the people who are doing something you don't believe is right. - Jane Goodall

12.09. We're like bones of the same skeleton
always trying to reassemble and find ourselves
"Drive" ~ Alice Ripley

13.09. I chose, and my world was shaken-
So what?
The choice may have been mistaken,
The choosing was not
You have to move on
"Move On" ~ Sunday in the Park with George

14.09. Doctor: Do the pieces come together piece by piece and row by row?
Patient: I don't know! I don't know where the fucking pieces go!
(from Next to Normal)

15.09. You're just whiny!
I had a flaming hiney!
(from Shrek the Musical)

16.09. Yes, but why is the rum gone? ~ Captain Jack Sparrow

17.09. Careful the things you say
Children will listen.
from Into The Woods

18.09. Anyone who tries to improve the lives of animals invariably comes in for criticism from those who believe such efforts are misplaced in a world of suffering humanity. - Jane Goodall

19.09. It's an open book to write here
It's a life we can restore
We can get back what we had and maybe more
Maybe get us back to better than before.
(from Next to Normal)

20.09. We are different and united
We are us and we are you
This is our story.
Shrek the Musical

Ok guys...next month it will be ALL Next to Normal or Shrek: The Musical unless I get some suggestions. PLEASE!
 
 
24 January 2009 @ 10:21 pm
How do you know how much memory you've lost if you've lost it?

Well, I can tell you how you know you've lost too much. You walk into a house you don't recognize with someone who says he's your husband and ask your daughter who she is.

Seriously. I can't make this shit up.

See, I... Well...it's a long story. But after a suicide attempt (ok, and 16 years of dancing with various therapists and methods of treating my crazy), I had ECT. Every day. For two weeks. And I remembered nothing.

NOTHING!

I got Dan's name because he'd usually say it before I had to ask him whenever he came to visit me. Which was every day. But I didn't remember marrying him. I just trusted Dr. Madden and the others at the hospital who worked with me that they were telling me the truth that he was my husband.

Eventually it started coming back ~ with a lot of help from Dan and Natalie. Well, probably more Natalie because she was telling me the truth as it was and not "how she remembered it".

I know Dan meant well ~ and honestly, maybe eloping in Portland in the rain WAS everything Dan hoped our marriage would be ~ but ultimately... The fact that he could keep the fact that we had a son who died as a baby from me? That's so confusing. I know he meant well, but...

But he couldn't keep protecting me. Couldn't keep catching me every time I fell. I needed to know what the ground felt like.

So I left.

I'm at my parents' right now. "Winging it" as my daughter Natalie said when I walked out on Dr. Madden after I started seeing Gabe again.

It's not ideal, but it's what I feel like I need right now. Maybe one day I can go home... But who knows.
 
 
Current Mood: contemplative
 
 
01 January 2009 @ 07:50 am
1.09 Lasting change is a series of compromises. And compromise is all right, as long your values don't change. - Jane Goodall

2.09 Begin at the beginning and go on till you come to the end: then stop. - Lewis Carroll (1832 - 1898), Alice's Adventures in Wonderland. Said by the King to the White Rabbit

3.09 What doctors call dysfunction, we tried to call romance. - from Next to Normal

4.09 I could lose my soul to the meanness of these streets
my weary heart is breaking with every loss it meets
"Calling All Angels" ~ Alice Ripley

5.09 Maybe that's all that we need
To meet in the middle of impossibility
"Mystery" by Indigo Girls

6.09 Stop worrying where you're going-
Move on
"Move On" ~ Sunday in the Park with George

7.09 There's a body on the railings
That I can't identify
And I'd like to reassure you but
I'm not that kind of guy ~ Robyn Hitchcock

8.09 Piercing through simplicity, the absolute truth flies by
on the spindly wings of an onyx nightmare. ~ Miri Eiler

9.09 Fairy Tales should really be updated. ~ Shrek the Musical

10.09 How do you know how much memory you've lost if you've lost it? ~ Next to Normal
 
 
01 January 2009 @ 04:03 am
MUSES PLAYGROUND: 89. In the right light, at the right time, everything is extraordinary. - Aaron Rose
Muse: Karen Lasko / Mark Kosik
Fandom: O/C
Words: 1,324

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31 December 2008 @ 03:52 pm
[info]muse_playground December  

~ she doesn't like to show you her tears
she doesn't want feelings to get in the way
somebody hurt her a long time ago
she sealed up her heart
and that's how it will stay
"She Keeps Her Love Away" ~ Alice Ripley


It had been twenty minutes since she had stopped crying, but his arms hadn't relaxed around her shoulders. Mulder had become accustomed to staying at her side when she couldn't sleep and as much as Scully didn't want to appear in the slightest bit weak - to him or to anyone else - she couldn't deny that he brought her a degree of impossible, irreplaceable comfort. The rhythm and pattern of his breathing had become a warm, impossible thing that she didn't really believe she could fall back to sleep without even if she tried harder than she had at anything else in her life.

"Can you go back to sleep?" His voice was as rich and warm, strong as the arm that he wound across her stomach and held her against his chest with. Her own hands were pillowing at the curve of her jaw, keeping her from falling into too uncomfortable of a position, but he was also making certain of that without her even being coherently aware of it.

They were partners, and they took care of each other. Looked out for each other, even when the other didn't know it.

"I can," she said quietly, and he kissed the place above her ear before laying his cheek against hers and letting sleep come to the both of them again.

Muse: Dana Scully
Fandom: the X-Files
Word Count: 223

 
 
28 December 2008 @ 02:32 pm
[info]muse_playground December; 115.08  

"I've had nothing yet", Alice replied in an offended tone: "so I can't take more."
"You mean you can't take *less*. It's very easy to take *more* than nothing."
the Mad Hatter's response to Alice (Lewis Carroll)


The little fingers were wrapped around one of her own and there was nothing she could do in that moment other than marvel, other than choose to remain still and watch, touch, be in that precise instant. Their breathing patterns didn't match because a small pair of lungs needed to fill more frequently but that didn't bother her. Cuddy was too busy being fascinated by the breathing itself. She had seen many miracles which brought life back to what it had been but nothing would be able to marvel and fascinate her the way that the beginning of new life did each time.

Her name would not be Joy, there would be another name, one that she had not come agree with herself on yet, but it would be a name that would hold meaning for her the rest of her life. Having a child was something she had thought about more than once and given herself full license to believe in once and again.

Dreams were funny things. They seemed to come true when a person least expected them to.

For a long expanse of time more she stayed, her thumb moving across the tiny knuckles and touching the soft skin, and she wondered if she would ever get enough of touching it. If any time would ever make her believe this is it, I can let go now and she would be able to release her grasp.

She already knew the answer, but for now she would pretend she didn't. It was one of a handful of moments in which she was okay with not being outwardly, immediately right.

Muse: Lisa Cuddy
Fandom: House M.D.
Word Count: 271

 
 
27 December 2008 @ 01:32 pm
MUSES PLAYGROUND: 2008.4) "Stop making me think. I'm believing over here." - Harry Dresden, Wizard
Muse: Karen Lasko / Mark Kosik
Fandom: O/C
Words: 1,239

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21 December 2008 @ 12:25 pm
MUSE PLAYGROUND: 151. I don't cause commotions, I am one.
Muse: Karen Lasko
Fandom: O/C
Words: 2,789

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15 December 2008 @ 04:00 pm
~ We judge ourselves by what we feel capable of doing, while others judge us by what we have already done. - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow (1807 - 1882)
Muse: Karen Lasko
Fandom: O/C
Words: 2,135

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11 December 2008 @ 05:38 pm
"All through the years, I've held oceans inside
Held back the tears,
And the waves and the tide
The dam had to burst
And the currents collide
With the flood of emotion
I can no longer hide (from "Side Show")

Muse: Karen Lasko
Fandom: O/C
Words: 5,316

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06 December 2008 @ 10:04 pm
Lyrics: I'd like to keep the pieces intact; I'd like to sleep and not fade away-"I Could Go Back" performed by Emily Skinner
Muse: Karen Lasko
Fandom: O/C
Words: 2940

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01 December 2008 @ 06:58 pm
111.08 ~ I wanted to talk to the animals like Dr. Doolittle. - Jane Goodall

112.08 ~ Especially now when views are becoming more polarized, we must work to understand each other across political, religious and national boundaries. - Jane Goodall

113.08 ~ When you think you're good, you will play at that level. If you doubt yourself, you will play like crap. - Kurt Russell

114.08 ~ If there is one thing the history of evolution has taught us it's that life will not be contained. Life breaks free, expands to new territory, and crashes through barriers, painfully, maybe even dangerously. - Ian Malcolm in Jurassic Park

115.08 ~ "I've had nothing yet", Alice replied in an offended tone: "so I ca'n't take more."
"You mean you ca'n't take *less*. It's very easy to take *more* than nothing."
the Mad Hatter's response to Alice (Lewis Carroll)

116.08 ~ Put up with it and you will get more of it. - Lynne Deal

117.08 ~ The sensation that you're screaming but you never make a sound
Or the feeling that you're falling but you never hit the ground
It just keeps on rushing at you day by day by day
You don't know you don't know what it's like to live that way
Like a refugee, a fugitive forever on the run
If it gets me it will kill me but I don't know what I've done.
"You Don't Know" from Next to Normal

118.08 ~ I'd like to keep the pieces intact
I'd like to sleep and not fade away
"I Could Go Back" performed by Emily Skinner

119.08 ~ Stop worrying if your vision
Is new
Let others make that decision-
They usually do
You keep moving on
"Move On" from Sunday in the Park with George

120.08 ~ she doesn't like to show you her tears
she doesn't want feelings to get in the way
somebody hurt her a long time ago
she sealed up her heart
and that's how it will stay
"She Keeps Her Love Away" ~ Alice Ripley

Um...guys? I'm starting to run low on prompt ideas and quotes. Comment here to help out! :)
 
 
24 November 2008 @ 05:26 pm
Hi, pleased to meet'cha! I go by Carnegie. I see by the auras in the audience that you're all at least in the know, so I can at least discuss some of this stuff without you hearing a lot of gibberish. I'm a willworker, a mage. By the grace of the Oracles, I Awakened on the  Mastigos Path, scribing my name in the Watchtower of the Iron Gauntlet. After due diligence, a lot of politicking and more than a bit of soul-searching, I chose to become a member of the Order of the Silver Ladder and wear that allegiance with pride. What that means is that I've got a knack for magics that focus on the mind and space, and that unlike the classic wizard in a tower with an anger-management problem, I'm a people person. Of course, since the process of my Awakening involved a trip through Pandemonium and learning more than I ever wanted to know about how demons operate... Well, let's just say that I assume everyone's got something to hide, but I don't go digging unless it's really necessary. So if it's something the rest of us might need to know, like a significant price on your head by the Seers of the Throne or an unhealthy interest from a Nephandi of any stripe, don't leave it for a surprise, okay? You never know, we might even be able to help you... for a price, of course...

One of my day jobs is running a property management company as a front for the local Concilium, which lets me, the Ladder, and the Hierarch know who's moving into town and where. But don't worry, I'm paid very well to be discreet. I'm also paid well to keep a reasonable number of units set aside for use by special Concilium guests, or individuals moving to town for their own purposes, so if you're interested in relocating to my neck of the woods, I can give you one of my cards.

Oh, these? Well, there are a lot of willworkers who spend their whole lives happily working their way through the Fallen World as members of an Order, but there are deeper truths to be found. Each Order and Path have smaller groupings called "Legacies", which allow their adherents to shape their souls. Some of these Legacies have been around for thousands of years, but new ones show up every day whenever some crazy willworker decides that they'll take that step. Most, but not all, have one of these glyphs associated with them. It's sort of my hobby, collecting the glyphs and information about all the Legacies, especially when my town seems to have a representative for practically every one of them. Not that this is an entirely good thing, since Legacies can just as easily be formed by soul-sucking jerks as the nicer sorts, and I've had to help track down a few of the more rotten ones from time to time.

But I still study the Mysteries, and the Concilium is starting to talk about how I don't seem to have a cabal of fellow willworkers to help me out... and keep an eye on me... so we'll see how long my semi-independent status lasts. See you around!

Note: this is an original character built from White Wolf Game Studio's new World of Darkness game line, specifically for Mage: the Awakening. All copyrights retained by their original holders. By definition, he's available for RP-ing; send me an e-mail and we'll see what we can do!

 
 
Muse: Karen Lasko
Fandom: O/C
Words: 3,649

Please read adult content and post comments here...
 
 
10 November 2008 @ 10:52 am
Um, hey. So, I've gotta introduce myself?

I'm Sam. Sam Winchester. Named for my maternal grandfather, Samuel Campbell. I don't really think there's much I can say about myself, which I suppose is kind of stupid, because my life can get pretty... weird.

I had a strange childhood, moved about a lot with my dad and elder brother. They were... close, I suppose, and I always felt like a bit of the odd one out. So I went away, got out, soon as I could. Got into Stanford, and was a couple of days away from an interview for Law School when all Hell (almost literally) broke loose.

Now, I travel around the country with my brother. Seems you can't ever really run from family. We... hunt stuff. Supernatural stuff. Demons, ghosts, vampires, all sorts.

By now, you're probably thinking I'm crazy, and I don't blame you. But that's the truth. I dropped out of law school to hunt the things that go bump in the night. It can get pretty hairy at times, but when I think about it, I realize. I wouldn't go back to my old life, not any more. Not if you offered me the chance.

It's a strange life. A horrible one, quite a lot of the time. But it's where I am, and more importantly, it's who I am.
 
 
09 November 2008 @ 08:20 pm
Sorry they're late! In all the NaNo-ness I forgot.

101.08 ~ That I did not fail was due in part to patience.... - Jane Goodall

102.08 ~ The least I can do is speak out for those who cannot speak for themselves. - Jane Goodall

103.08 ~ We are in a democratic society. It's our job to question. - Kurt Russell

104.08 ~ No, I'm simply saying that life, uh... finds a way. - Ian Malcolm in Jurassic Park

105.08 ~ I don't know half of you half as well as I should like; and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve. - J. R. R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring

106.08 ~ Everything has got a moral if you can only find it. - Lewis Carroll (1832 - 1898)

107.08 ~ We judge ourselves by what we feel capable of doing, while others judge us by what we have already done. - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow (1807 - 1882)

108.08 ~ The male is a domestic animal which, if treated with firmness, can be trained to do most things. - Jilly Cooper

109.08 ~ If we stood on our tiptoes
We could peek over the sill
And once in a while
We would see a girl
Slowly walking up the hill
And we'd think
What a sad situation
To be outside on your own
To go through the town with no playmate
To go through life all alone
(from "Side Show")

110.08 ~ It's not life or death. It's. A. Sandwich. - Danny Lucas, Ace