| east coast |
[27 Aug 2008|07:31pm] |
So, my bro-in-law, ![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) rabid_chemist, just got a job on the Delaware coast, this means that my sister catbirdgirl is going to be moving back to the east coast for the first time in years. Within about a 2 1/2 hour drive (according to google maps) from where I live.
This may surprise even her, but this will be the longest she has been nearby on the east coast in probably about 20 or 21 years. The last time she was living nearby on the east coast for any significant length of time was when she was doing a co-op for college in Washington DC.
I suppose that means we will be seeing her more often.
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| Well look at that... |
[27 Aug 2008|06:19pm] |
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mood |
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 cheerful |
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Today I got my lip pierced. :)
Maybe if you people care enough I'll grab a picture. The ring is big to allow for healing/swelling purposes, so it looks a little weird.
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| Questions, Passions, and Reading Under Blankets |
[27 Aug 2008|04:25pm] |
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mood |
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 curious |
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Enjoying some more lovely cooler 70s and sunny
days here in NYC. It has been one of those weeks
where the summer is winding down slowly and
everything seems fast and slow at the same time...
like I cant quite catch my breath or look from far
enough away to get perspective.
I have created some goals for myself for the Fall
onward to the rest of the year so that feels hopeful
and grounding and with some focus. I really need
to figure out a way to make my life and lifestyle
more aligned with my spiritual and creative self
right now.
So there feels like endings and beginnings right now.
Thinking about passion after reading a fiction book
Unusual Company by Margaret Erhart I finished
last night. I will perhaps share some quotes another
time here from it but it was one of those books whose
ending and message is still left in my mind and heart like
a dream or memory or ghost. What makes us feel passion
in life? Do we seek passion in others that is really in
ourselves all along? How does one connect with their
own passion? My questions today.
It has been fun to read some fiction this summer and
relaxing. I want to curl up with some poetry, ghost stories,
and Victorian 19th Century novels this Fall under blankets
and sip coffee as the leaves turn colors outside my window.
Sounds delightful!
Some Quotes I love today:
"We are what we believe we are."- C.S. Lewis
When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and
you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow
that is giving you joy. When you are sorrowful look again
in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are
weeping for that which has been your delight.
-Kahlil Gibran
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| New Icon |
[26 Aug 2008|01:25pm] |
New icon.
Ferret found Pocahontas classes at some yard sale. I saw this one and had to make it my new D: icon.
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| Sometimes Finding the Humor in Things is Like Stepping on a Toad |
[25 Aug 2008|09:58pm] |
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mood |
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 hopeful |
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music |
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Incubus - Love Hurts (Accoustic) |
] |
I don't do well with serious things a lot. I'm good at listening and what-not but I often find myself at a loss for words so the next best thing I do is make an ass out of myself to try and make other parties happy to lighten the mood. A serious break-up is the kind of thing you wouldn't expect me to make an ass of myself through. Well, I do. Other people often make the humor in and of themselves and being the mild masochist I am, I find them funny. Here are some such examples.
Me: Will I still be able to use Wolfie's Taxi Service so I can get school supplies?
Jeff: Of course, I still do it for Denise.
--
(Breaking the news to Kale, I come and find them outside for a cigarette).
Kale: Come, talk to us. (He heads towards the driveway).
Me: Jeff and I are single.
Kale: (Turns around dramatically) What?!
Me: Weeee broke up?
(later in the conversation)
Kale: You know, that was NOT what I was expecting you to come out here and say. Maybe before on that list of things you would have said may have been that you were Obama's running mate.
--
(Mom picks me up today to get my hair cut).
Mom: My phone died, I was in the middle of calling work, let me use yours.
Me: Oookay.
Mom: (On the phone with someone at work yammering) Oh, 4 years. I'm not sure, Jenni, how long have you and Jeff been going out?
Me: Mom, I broke up with Jeff last night! (I actually kinda yelled this)... and it was 5 years, not 4.
Mom: Ooh, shit. I haven't even gotten that far yet today.
My plan was to tell Mom at a stoplight or something so that she wouldn't swerve off the road or something. I know that if I were to tell her in a way when she WASN'T ON THE PHONE WITH A CO-WORKER, she would have said, "You what!?" and hit the breaks, causing a rear-ender. Just how I saw it.
--
(After dinner over a cigarette with Kale and Stealth).
Kale: Man, you can cut the awkwardness between you and Jeff with a fucking knife.
--
(At the hair dressers)
Me: Can you make it a little shorter, even?
Other hairdresser: Man, your boyfriend REALLY pissed you off.
Well. I found it amusing.
Oh yea. So today Mom took me to get my hair cut. No one knew what I was going to do but Jeff. I told him last night over IM that I decided to get a more drastic hair cut. To give you an idea of what I look like before, and after, images are under the ( cut )
Otherwise, this morning I woke up confused and in a haze. Well, that and Mom woke me the fuck up to ask me about my meds and the hair appointment. But...yea. I'm becoming slowly more comfortable with everything. I'm finding myself craving cuddles and wanting someone to hold me. But as Kale told me, being lonely is part of breaking up. I still cry now and again. I talk like it's been weeks when it's only been a day. But where I am right now, each day feels like a week. I'm coming to terms that I'm t-minus 4 days. As I told Kris and some others, my life is purely bittersweet right now. With every sorrow I've encountered, I feel liberated in a sense. I'm looking forward to being more independent than I am now. Sure, my finances are handled by my parents, but I'll be figuring out how to budget again. I'm not good at that, but I really really need to work on that skill. Being in another country on a different time schedule, different currency I hope, will help me achieve this. I'm also hoping to find an under-the-table job while I'm at school. I'd like that so I can save money from there for my break, for summer, and every now and again stupid splurge spending money. I won't have a room mate, either. So I'm going to need to manage my own room fully on my own. Which, I can do already. But I'd like to grow the fuck up finally and learn how to keep it TIDY. Having such little stuff will help with that. Speaking of, my room is going to be black and hot pink for the colors. And I already packed my mini-posters book of H.R. Giger's work. =D
Tomorrow:
Lowes
Target
Keystone Art Supply
My house for some shit I forgot and the 5th suitcase
Train out to Philly to see my Moore Girls one last time.
Wednesday:
Go Karts at Arnolds!!!
Clean my hole in the basement
Clean the bedroom
Nocturne
Thursday:
Finish packing to 95% so Friday I can pack the last minute things (toothbrush, clothes, etc.)
I think I'm forgetting something to Thursday.
Friday:
Last minute packing/running around
Drive to airport
Take a deep breath and leave for a long 4 months.
My winter break will be spent moving out of Hatboro and back home to my parents house. I'm leaving all my stuff and living this week on borrowed time now... Mom had the balls today to ask what will happen to the futon and table and everything. What use do I have for that futon in England? Where would they put it? Sorry, though. I will be taking a lot of my other shit with me.
Love hurts, but sometimes it's a good hurt.... Love hurts, but without love I can't survive.
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| Pondering August and Everything After |
[25 Aug 2008|04:47pm] |
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mood |
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 melancholy |
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The last week of summer at least psychologically.
Not official Summer Solstice/Mabon for another month.
Feel the rush of August ending and all the feelings of
getting prepared for another season.
This weekend I enjoyed a day studying my spiritual
classes in the park...a lovely, sunny Saturday. Then
in the evening I enjoyed a wonderful, inspiring dance
performance with my girlfriend. Made me ready to get
back to doing burlesque and taking some classes
with the School of Burlesque this Fall. I enjoy
visual art and crafting but sometimes need to do
something more physically creative and energizing in
that way and out in the world in a different way.
The NYU students were back on campus in an excited
frenzy today at lunch and I caught their excitement.
Feeling a bit melancholy today. Maybe because of the
year going by so fast and still so many things I want to
do, create, study, and accomplish. Tonight I want to have
some time to work on some new art ideas and make a
list of goals for the last 4 months of the year.
Thankfully a short week ahead this week and next month
some vacation to look forward to. September looking very good
and promising fun, inspiring, creative things.
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| Another day goes by. |
[24 Aug 2008|11:07pm] |
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 blank |
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music |
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Torn by Natalie Inbruglia |
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Today was me waking up after little sleep, crying. Headache of doom. More crying. Buzzing around with the lingerers. Car wash, came home, showered for loooooong time. Errands for school things. Dinner at my parents. Where I saw my Nana and brother and sister-in-law for the last time before I sail away. Last time I'll see Kate with a baby rolling in her stomach. Heh. Dad and I wanted to kill each other, got over it, wanted to kill each other again, got over it, rinse and repeat. Went to Jeff's parents to say good-bye to them. Same shit I've heard for the past month, how I'm going to be missed, how I'm going to love it, rinse, repeat.
Came home for epic yelling. Me freaking out. Jeff freaking out, Kale freaking out, etc. Jeff blew a gasket. I opened my mouth finally.
I'm single.
Fortunately, we're of course still friends. I love him, and always will. He showed me 5 years of a relationship that won't be like any other I've had or will ever have. But to be brutally honest, I've not been so happy and feeling the spark for a while. It happens. I've just been too afraid to say or do anything. This is not a rinse, repeat type of thing.
I don't know what else to really say. I have butterflies the size of pterodactyls in my stomach and a lump the size of a boulder in my throat. My chest feels bound tighter than any corset I've ever worn.
So... ( Music Meme )
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| bike consumer whoredom |
[24 Aug 2008|12:41pm] |
want
want
WANT
NEED: a job.
::sigh::
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| Apologies. |
[24 Aug 2008|07:40am] |
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mood |
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 distressed |
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My apologies for crashing and burning last night. It was indeed to see everyone before I head over the big scary ocean. S
You fuckers left our house a huge mess again. T
Couldn't sleep. Head hurts like something fierce. O
Today is supply shopping. If I don't pass out again. Which seems tempting if I can swing it. Though... I slid myself into my hole because Iron and Missy are kinda sleeping in front of the door. So... I may be stuck for a bit. P
Which is fine.
Don't really want to talk to anyone. F
Cause I'll just cry. A
No matter what the subject matter. L
Hm... wrote an open lj post bout an hour ago that I closed. No need to worry your heads off, just emo bitching far worse than this entry. L
Uhmmm... I hate drawing anymore. I
Falling into that fabulous rut of something doesn't look good quickly enough or I can't fix it right so I just get pissed. Hate coloring. Lots of hate for the arts. And I'm supposedly going to school for this bullshit. Sucks knowing that you fucking fail at everything in life so you just pick what you fail least at and go with it? Yea. N
You've all heard this rant from me by now. G
I have some very important things to say.
I don't know how to word it without scaring anyone. I
So maybe I'll just keep it inside like I have the last few months. Mmkay? Kay. Good. N
Mmmm blue raspberry jolly rancher...
Welcome to the lesser sane part of my head. At least it's not incoherent sentences yet =D If I ever start texting/iming/talking to you in sentences that make little to no sense, make sure I'm around people. Get someone to stay in the same area/room as me. Or make me go to sleep. Cause that's when self mutilation sets in. Really bad. Annnnd I don't remember it. You can ask Kale when I made him pick me up from school one night. Wasn't pretty. But I went to sleep so nothing major happened. But uhmmmmmm yea. L
Enough on that dissertation of my life. O
Well. That's about 15% of the way to what I've been trying to say. V
It's kind of like that one race that obliterates a horses legs finally after running sub-par in the races leading up to it? That last one because you need to put the horse out of it's poor misery? Thaaaat's kind of like what happened last night. The "last straw", if you will. You've been debating retiring the horse for some time but never had the heart to do it. Yea, both the horse and it's owner is me. Ya follow, still? I hope so. So the body is barely willing and the mind is following the same path. I've lost anyone who's unfortunately been reading, huh. Well. I tried. E
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[24 Aug 2008|01:39am] |
Dear Self,
Stop crying you stupid, stupid twat.
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| my life is now complete |
[23 Aug 2008|03:44am] |
for I have now seen R. Kelly's Trapped In the Closet (the good parts anyway).
I mean, come on... "and then he realized, Bridgett was allergic to cherries." That is pure comedy GOLD right there.
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| I love these things |
[22 Aug 2008|11:32pm] |
http://www.mindpowernews.com/5Psychological.htm
"You might like to think of yourself as a free-thinking marauder, but when it comes down to it, odds are you won't stick it to the man because of the fear of The Man will stick it right back up your ass."
"Think about that when you're walking around the mall: Eight out of ten of those people you see would torture the shit out of a puppy if a dude in a labcoat asking them to."
Psychology. The more I learn about it the more of a paranoid freak I become. Also, the more cynical.
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[22 Aug 2008|06:28pm] |
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So I'm crocheting a blanket...I'm on square 8 of 24. Its taking a long time, but I'm enjoying the process. I think things like this teach me patience - something I always need a refresher course in. I admire those artists who can plunk away at something for months and months and months. I'll get there, some day. For now... I'm on square 8.
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| Friday Musings and the Goddess Path |
[22 Aug 2008|11:47am] |
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mood |
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thoughtful |
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So glad it is Friday and another lovely, breezy day!
Feel a bit irritable from a need for more sleep and look
forward to more rest on the weekend. I need to catch
up on my spiritual counseling studies and plan to pack a picnic
for one tomorrow and go to the park, spread out on a
blanket, and study the whole day. I feel a need for some
quiet, deep inner reflection, and solitude to connect
with my spiritual self, intuition, and what are the best
choices for me right now......to hear my internal voice.
One of my lessons for my Priestess studies this week was
to create a Goddess sculpture and it was so fun to sculpt
in clay a Goddess figure like those of ancient matriarchal
cultures I have been studying. It made me feel connected to
how creativity and spirituality connect and dance together for
me and how I can create ritual with both. The small clay
Goddess will go on my altar dedicated to following this path
of the Goddess and in becoming a Priestess. I also felt connected
to the playfulness of creativity and art making.
I want to reflect in how I can make my spirituality and creativity
more part of my daily life as well as part of my main priorities
as I plan my days, weeks, months. How to live according to my top
four values: Spirituality, Creativity, Self Connection and Connection
with others, and Beauty. These are what came up with am exercise I
did in Cheryl Richardson's great book Stand up for Your Life.
Happy Friday everyone!
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| Venture into online glasses... |
[22 Aug 2008|02:15am] |
I've had glasses most of my life..
So, once I started wearing contacts I quickly became addicted to them... it's great to have no weight on one's nose all the time, and to be able to wake up and just be able to see, not to lose one's glasses.. and also to be able to wear whatever sunglasses one wants, etc.
But I need new glasses.
I tend to be particularly hard on my glasses...
and I tend to lose them..
I was originally planning on getting transitions/photochromic lenses. I've worn them since.. well, for a very long time.. and really prefer them... when I started, and for the longest time... photogrey (glass) was FREE at the place I used to get my glasses.. then they started charging. Eventually, I had to switch to plastic to reduce the weight.. it's a pain in the butt to have that pressure on your nose all the time, and transitions ran me.. I think something like $100+ for the lenses. I really like this, not having to carry two pairs.. and them just changing automatically when you go outside, etc.
Well, to order photochromic online would have run me something like $39 extra... so I figured what the heck, I will try to do the old glasses switch thing (either having tinted lenses for outside. I'm actually starting out with regular glasses with no tint, and magnetic or clip-on shades. I think I'll probably lose them, misplace them, or just find them annoying.. but it will get me two pairs of glasses.. my first choice of glasses were like a $20 choice with $39 lenses.. and it would have cost somethibng like $62+$5 shipping to get them.. one pair.. then I realized.. that if I ordered $8 glasses... (and not photochromic) I could wind up with like 4 or 5 different pairs for about the same price.. and have backup glasses all over the place.
I could in essence become a frameslut. I'm already a clotheshorse. I know most of you don't know that, only seeing me in jeans and t-shirts most of the time, but I have a rather extensive wardrobe.
To find out what glasses fit me well (for the framesize) I just went into lenscrafters.. and fell in love with an absolutely amazing pair of $119 (plus lenses) Rayban mirrored sunglassess.. these things were like sex, they were so nice and comfortable. [Sigh] Well, I'm not getting them anytime soon... but..
So begins the experiment... worst comes to worst, I could always go get the photochromics if I find I can't work with the switcheroo.. but until then.. I just placed an order for two pairs of glasses for $40.85 and should get them in a couple of weeks. I could have gone cheaper, but figured I'd get a more expensive pair, and one 8$ pair, an extra clip-on, and test the anti-reflective coating on one of the pairs.
I will let you know how it goes. (Not that you care.)
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| Fall Breezes and New Adventures Before Me |
[21 Aug 2008|05:48pm] |
Lovely cooler sunny days lately in NYC and
enjoying them thoroughly! Walking around
NYU campus at lunch I enjoyed feeling the cooler
breeze on my skin and the rustling leaves of the
trees with thoughts of long stockings and flannel
and pumpkin lattes in my head. It was quiet and
right before the crowds of students for the new year.
There is a peaceful courtyard with a waterfall at the NYU
Law School I discovered and enjoy going to sit
and meditate and journal sometimes like a little
sanctuary.
I was reminded of the feeling of promise this time of
year used to bring me as a new student and a new
school year and remembered the feelings, the
excitement, the fresh starts after summers away.
I would like to recapture that feeling for myself now.
Next week will be my official 8 ears in NYC after I came for
Grad School with so many dreams, hopes, promises of new
experiences and adventures, and creative endeavors.
Now it feels like home and my dreams are new and changing.
It is easy to feel in a rut so I am deciding to try new things, create
new things, add new friends to my social circle, and just approach
life in NYC as if I just arrived and all is new and exciting and new
adventures await me!
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| Hoods |
[20 Aug 2008|11:30pm] |
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mood |
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 bouncy |
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music |
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Feist |
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Ok, I'm coming to ny this saturday and have a question about neighborhoods. I'm looking for a place to live (mostly on craigslist), but I'm having trouble pinpointing which neighborhoods are closest to pratt. The map I've been referencing is rather lame and unclear as to where pratt sits on it among the hoods. Where would you recommend looking for apts as far as hoods that are closest to the brooklyn campus? What are the best/fastest/easiest - bus/train lines to pratt that you have taken? Sorry if this was covered - I'm not too familiar with Brooklyn yet. Many thanks!! : )
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| Взрыв из прошлого (Blast From The Past) |
[10 Aug 2008|04:27am] |
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mood |
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 envious |
] |
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music |
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Blast From The Past |
] |
Субтитры к фильму:
А: Ух ты, а Вы почему там поставили?
П: Мистер Такума не доверяет машину незнакомым людям.
А: Угу..
П: Что?
А: Женщин надо пропускать - это же этикет.
П: Ага.
А: Боже!!! Ну и красотища! Здесь так здорово!
Ж: Будь безразличнее!
П: Да! Изобрази скуку! Попробуй налёт скуки!
Ж: Не выражай так явно интереса! Не будь идиотом!
А: А я похож?
Ж: Да. ( Read more... )
 Танец Адама - отрывок из к/ф "Взрыв из прошлого" via numbencore1984
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[20 Aug 2008|06:52pm] |
job. crap. back to square one again.
so here's some LOLZ:
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