Current mood:

aggravated

She's a cleaning lady for a reason....

So, my family has a cleaning lady. No, we're not rich, she just saves us the pain of doing chores we hate to do (a.k.a floors, bathrooms, etc.)

Well, last time she came over she asked me if she could use our internet to try to find a cat of hers that had run away. I said sure and told her to use the computer downstairs.

M = guess who?
G = cleaning lady...her name’s Goldie...

M: Ok, when you get down there, there's something on the bottom of the screen that says "Start" and right next to that there's a little pitcutre of a blue "E". Click on that, and that's the internet.
G: Ok. (goes downstairs)

5 minutes later she comes back up stairs...

G: I can't find the stuff you're talking about
M: Ok, I'll be there in a second to help you.

I get downstairs and she's staring at the keyboard.

M: No on the bottom of the screen
G: (still staring at the keyboard) Yeah...
M: no, no, up here (pointing to the monitor)
G: oh
M: (takes the mouse and clicks on the quick launch button) ok, there's the internet.

G: (starts to pound on the keyboard as if it were a typewriter and holds down each key for about 10 seconds...then can't figure out why there were 18 W's in the address bar.)
M: It's because you're holding the keys down, don't do that and you'll only get one.
G: (continues typing and finally gets to the page she needs to see...a site for lost and found pets in my city) I-I want to go to lost and found.
M: ok, then you have to click on it. That white arrow is the mouse, so take it and move it over where it says lost and found and click.
G: (Picks the mouse up off the desk and starts to wave it around and right click madly (she had her hand over the mouse as if she were holding a remote)

M: Thinking...What the hell?

M: No, it’s got to stay on the desk. You use it like this (I demonstrate). See? Wherever my hand moves, that arrow moves
G: oh, ok. (Tries again, still holding the mouse as if it were a remote, but keeping her hand on the desk)
M: No, see how I’m doing it? (Demonstrates again)
G: Yes
M: See how when my hand moves left the arrow moves left?
G: yes.
M: ok, give it a shot
G: Picks the mouse up, puts it on the monitor and tries to move it and click on the link she needs, still right clicking madly
M: Ok, I’ll do it.

The next page loads...

G: (while I’m scrolling) ok, go down, go down, go down, go down
M: I can’t anymore, that’s the end of the page
G: Why?
M: Because that’s the end of the page (I then explain the concept of links to her)
G: Ok, well I want to go to look at the pets that people have found

 At this point she thought she found the cat she lost over a year ago and it was on the outskirts of town. She lives downtown. The area she thinks the cat is in is a DRIVE of 35 minutes to get to....how can a cat get that far and not be killed?

 After finally deciding she was finished, she told me that she had even hired a private investigator to find the cat because she thought the kids next door had stolen it.

*facepalm*headdesk*