Friday, November 13th, 2009
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3:44 pm - Stupidity on "Ellen"
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esprix
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As seen on Ellen:
Ellen: H-2-O is better known as what?
Contestant: Blackjack? 21?
Fortnately, the game is called "Know Or Go," and if you get the question wrong, you "go" when Ellen presses a button and you drop through a trap door. This contestant was the first to get a question wrong, so she was completely shocked when Ellen did just that. Don't you wish you could do that in real life? :D
(Alas, Ellen didn't catch herself earlier when she asked, "What state is New Orleans in?" and the same contestant answered, "New Orleans?" She let it slide and just moved on to the next question.)
current mood:  amused
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(14 comments | comment on this)
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Saturday, November 14th, 2009
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7:50 pm - The terrors of living in the inner city: The' Meep'
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Wednesday, November 11th, 2009
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12:57 pm - I don't think you know what that word means...
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jenny0
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If I've overheard this once, I can't even imagine how many times the actual parents have had to deal with the stupid. At a street fair last Friday, I was talking to an acquaintance with triplets. A stranger came up:
Stranger: "Aww, how cute! Are they triplets?"
Mom: "Yes."
Stranger: "Were they born on the same day?"
My Brain: *breaks*
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(78 comments | comment on this)
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Tuesday, November 10th, 2009
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8:01 pm
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ringohavabanana
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I work in a grocery store doing price change, which is anything related to the prices of things or the labels on the shelf.
On Halloween my boss decided to put all the candy on for half off. I changed all the prices and printed out new labels.
The labels had the item description and the original price on top, and on the big yellow dangly part of the label it had the new price in big numbers. If you squinted, just above the new price it said 'Manager's Special'.
As I was hanging the new labels a very concerned looking customer approached me.
"Excuse me," she said, pointing to the small bit of text. "Is this price only for your managers?"
Why yes, miss. Our new advertising strategy is to show the general public all the amazing perks of being a grocery store manager. The candy sells much faster when it's cheaper for people other than our customers.
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(22 comments | comment on this)
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Sunday, November 8th, 2009
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2:41 pm
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dragonflymusic
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I was browsing in generic clothing store, and there was a rack of t-shirts with the American Eagle brand written on them. One in particular had the words colored to resemble the American flag, so it had the word "American" with "ame" in blue and stars and the "rican" in red and white stripes, and the word "eagle" below it in red and white stripes.
There was a young couple next to me, probably about college-aged, looking at the shirt. The guy said, "Ame Rican?" (pronounced AH-may REE-can). "Is that like Costa Rican? I never heard of Ame Rican Eagle. Kinda looks like American Eagle.......oh". His girlfriend just looked at him and walked away.
*EDIT* I know the guy doesn't seem particularly dumb here, but as a commenter says below, just a "hurrdurr moment". But I still thought it was amusing :)
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(8 comments | comment on this)
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11:40 am
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ulisesgirl
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This was relayed to me by a friend of mine - I just had to share the stupid.
She works at an elementary school with pre-school age autistic kids. Some of them have a couple of "regular" classes during the day that she takes them to.
One goes to English class, where they happened to have a sub that day who was teaching plurals, and possessives.
He writes D-O-G on the board and then asks the class "Okay class... if I wanted to make this word plural, what would I add to the end of it? An S or ES?"
The class kind of mutters general responses.
"Very good, class - the answer is S!" Says the teacher. "If we put ES on the end, that would make it possessive!"
I died a little that day.
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(46 comments | comment on this)
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11:59 am - Assorted, mostly from school
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11:01 am - Cat's have what?
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xxfullmoonxx
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Last night, a story from a few years ago came up among friends that I thought was appropriate for this comm.
My dad is in a band. Their drummer at the time was not the brightest. She was petting one of our cats and asked my dad, "What are these little bumps on her belly?" Concerned that the cat might have something on her that she shouldn't, my dad went to go see what she was talking about. He told her they were just the cat's nipples.
Her reaction? "NUH UH!! GET OUTTA HERE! Cat's don't have nipples!! ...do they?"
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(35 comments | comment on this)
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Saturday, November 7th, 2009
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1:12 pm
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rakshanda
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U.S. Representative John Boner Boehner tries to quote the preamble to the Constitution (the one he's holding) and quotes the Declaration of Independence instead.
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(12 comments | comment on this)
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Friday, November 6th, 2009
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2:46 pm - Automotive stupidity
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marveen
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My boyfriend worked as a mechanic for a couple decades, and as such he's pretty much Seen It All--you know, the electric tape over that pesky oil light, the music up loud to drown out that funny noise...but this one really stood out.
Scenario: customer walks into a parts store and requests something simple....say, spark plug wires. And this dialogue follows:
Clerk: What kind of car is it?
Customer: A fodo. (The r-dropping makes it worse somehow--I swear I thought it was some exotic European make I'd never heard of before.)
Clerk: Yeeesss...but what KIND of four-door is it?
Customer: It a V8.
And the worst part is, he says that not only did this happen REGULARLY, but about three times out of five the next information they would come out with was the color of the paint.
Because the fact that your car has four doors will really narrow down the specific parts you need. O.o
current mood: amused
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(31 comments | comment on this)
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12:20 am - Civics class stupidity.
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fairy_glamour
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I'm a senior in high school and the things I hear from the mouths of my peers are simply stunning. I just want to either bang my head against the wall or burst into tears on a daily basis.
In the beginning of the semester, a student asked, "Do we have a prime minister?" (We are in the US. This should not be a question you need to ask as a 17/18 year old.)
Yesterday a student asked if women could run for president. I go to an all-girls school and we just finished watching a movie about the women's rights movement. Not to mention, where has she been for the last couple of years? A woman just did run for president, idiot.
I genuinely fear for the future. There are some relatively intelligent and informed students in the class and the school as a whole. But the rest...I just do not understand how they will ever survive in life. D: Even more insanely stupid things happen quite often. I could fill a journal.
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(65 comments | comment on this)
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Thursday, November 5th, 2009
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7:56 pm - Pledge Fail
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Wednesday, November 4th, 2009
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10:39 pm - Just...stop opening your mouth, please.
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elementallove
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My Calculus teacher is pretty cool, and if you say something stupid in his class, he'll let you know. There are only eight people in class, and you would think it wouldn't be very interesting, but it is.
Today, he was telling us about Frank Lloyd Wright, a famous architect. One girl didn't know who he was (and I didn't either) so she asked him. Before he could respond, another girl, who is kind of stupid, said, "Don't you know, he's the flying brothers." And she made little 'wing' motions with her hands.
I burst out laughing at her, and so did the teacher. Eventually, he calmed down enough to inform her that, no, he wasn't one of the Wright brothers. Their names are Orville and Weber. I've known that since fifth or sixth grade. And let's not comment on the grammar fail of 'he' also being 'brothers'.
current mood:  aggravated
current music: Battlefield by Jordin Sparks
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(37 comments | comment on this)
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5:47 pm - anatomy fail
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smurfasaur
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my boyfriend might be retarded, or he might need to pick up a dictionary.
bf: im going to kick you in the uvula
me: do you even know where the uvula is?
bf: its part of your vag right
me: *dies laughing* no.
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(117 comments | comment on this)
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Monday, November 2nd, 2009
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10:05 pm
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ulisesgirl
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Sitting in my infectious organisms class - it's a 400-level class and can be taken for graduate credit as well, so it's not easy stuff.
We're talking about herd immunity and the graphs that go along with it. My professor mentions that when you get sick with an acute disease like the flu, one of two things happens - you A) get better and have immunity or B) you die. He also mentions that the incidence tapers off as more people recover.
A girl in class raises her hand and asks "But, what about the dead people - are they immune?"
The prof looks at her silently for a moment -
"No?" She asks.
Then it clicks. "OH! Ohhhh... He he, never mind!"
I headdesked.
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(17 comments | comment on this)
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6:06 pm - Lollercoaster! Everyone Buckle Up And Enjoy The Ride!
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sinetimore
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My brother-in-law is a supposed expert on cars. Always offering to save me a couple of bucks. He did a brake job on my car, but didn't even check the bearings, figuring they were so big, "I don't see how they could ever fail." Well, they did, and I had to replace the front axle.
My brother-in-law has a compact truck that was starting to give him some problems. So, he negotiated a trade with a guy for a car. Straight trade, no cash. All I heard from family was how my brother-in-law is a shrewd negotiator and really pulled one over on the guy.
Today, the car won't start. And my brother-in-law looked under the hood for the first time.
How do I know he hadn't looked there before?
There was a lawn mower battery wired in instead of a regular car battery.
I nearly passed out from laughing and am now a bit hoarse. But it was worth it.
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(13 comments | comment on this)
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7:18 am - People are stupid!
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rainbow_goddess
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I'm listening to a quiz show on the radio. The question is "What far-eastern city has the most Rolls Royces per capita?"
People answered the following:
-- Germany
-- Saudi Arabia
-- Iran
-- China
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(29 comments | comment on this)
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Sunday, November 1st, 2009
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9:48 pm - when the sun and moon collide
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electricenigma
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The recent post about space reminded me of my own story.....
I was a senior in high school and my science class was watching a news clip of the recent solar eclipse. Everyone was silent as the shadow started to cover the sun. My teacher was explaining how the moon was responsible for blocking the sun.
All of a sudden one of the most popular girls in my class screams out,
"OH MY GAWD!! ARE THEY TOUCHING???!!!"
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(44 comments | comment on this)
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Saturday, October 31st, 2009
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10:06 pm
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un_sedentary
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Coworker: H1N1 must be a strand of TB.
Me: No, it's a flu virus. TB is bacterial.
Coworker: Anything to do with your lungs is a kind of TB. Like SARS. That was TB too.
Me: *HEADDESK*
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(51 comments | comment on this)
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Friday, October 30th, 2009
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5:32 pm
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piranha_minnow
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There's a girl at my work who is not very smart. She's constantly making statements that cause people to stop and stare at her. Laughter at her expense usually follows after the WTF-Moment.
Some of the particularly stunning gems (and the plural-form-failure is her own):
"Does Helen Keller really talk with her hips?"
"What's the Louvre?"
"Ink comes from octopuses!" (all ink. pens, printers, tattoos, etc. ONLY from the octopus.)
"If you get stung by a scorpion you have to pee on it or you'll die in, like, an hour."
"I only cut my wrists to see why people would want to die that way."
She will also argue, viciously, about the consequences of sun exposure and deafness. According to her, tanning for 3+ hours twice a week will never contribute to skin cancer, and the maxed out volume on her headphones will never make her deaf.
Also, today she told me that I'm racist because I don't know who Biggie Smalls and Tupac are.
current mood: aggravated
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(57 comments | comment on this)
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