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Wednesday, July 8th, 2009
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9:45 am - Abbreviations are too hard
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cauldroness
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One of the women I work with is a former language arts teacher, which is why I was pretty surprised when she posed the following question:
"What's an ISBN? Do we use those?"
Of course, the real kicker is that we work for a publisher. Our company's primary goal is to create and sell books.
And she's a high-ranking sales rep for the company.
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(17 comments | comment on this)
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| Tuesday, July 7th, 2009
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4:43 pm - AM/FM Complications
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comearoundruby
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Some time ago I found myself discussing music with an Australian friend via one internet messenger or another. Eventually the conversation slipped to Triple J's Hottest 100 countdown and how she had been listening to it earlier. I tell her that I had been as well. It is perhaps my own fault for not mentioning that I was listening online, but being that she knew I was an American and had not traveled to Australia I can find no excuse for the following exchange.
Her: You've been listening to Triple J?
Me: a little bit earlier.
Her: Oooh, did you buy an Aussie radio on eBay?
....because that's exactly how radios work. And I suppose if I bought an English television set I'd receive all the BBC channels by default.
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(21 comments | comment on this)
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| Monday, July 6th, 2009
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2:57 pm - D'oh!
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11:34 am
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mizbhaven13
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My 15 year old daughter and I live with my mother. Recently, my daughter went for a physical and I’ve been waiting for the doctor’s office to call with results from some lab work. My daughter is starting a summer internship today (her first job). She’s a bit nervous about it so I decided to treat her to breakfast.
Now, my mother is a bit of a techno-phobe. She has a cell phone that my sister got her for emergencies but she really does not know how to use it. I still have to explain to her - every single time - how to check her voicemail. The only person she’s ever called on it is my sister. So you can imagine my surprise when my cell phone rings and it’s my mom, calling from her cell phone.
“Is there anything wrong, Mom?”
“No, but Lisa from the doctor’s office is on the phone and she needs to talk to you.”
“Ok, find out if I can call her back or you can give her my cell number.”
“That’s what I was going to do but I wanted to make sure you had your phone with you first.”
“Alright.”
There is a moment or two of silence and then…
“So, do you have your cell phone with you or not?”
No, Ma…I’m talking to you on my handy-dandy finger phone.
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(15 comments | comment on this)
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| Sunday, July 5th, 2009
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2:16 am
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jellybean_2007
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This is a story that one of my managers told me tonight:
One of the guys had a lady come through drive-thru and order a small coffee with two creamers. So he pours the coffee and mixes te creamers into the coffee. He hands it out the window and she asks for two creamers again. He tells her that he already put two of them in the coffee. She then proceeds to tell him that the coffee is still black and points to show him. She was pointing at the lid, which is black. It took him two minutes to convince her that it was the lid and not the coffee that was black.
Is there a fast food resturant anywhere that has clear coffee lids?
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(16 comments | comment on this)
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| Wednesday, July 1st, 2009
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4:48 pm - the 'blog' of 'unnecessary' quotation marks
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| Tuesday, June 30th, 2009
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8:19 pm - Paper Issues
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leaf_kunoichi
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I have quite a few merchant accounts that I oversee at work. The people I deal with are in the accounting departments of billion dollar transportation companies. From time to time I have to fax documents over to them. I usually receive an email or call letting me know they received the paperwork. Today, I received this email:
"We received your fax however it is on the big large paper. Can you refax this but fax it on small regular paper?"
Yes, they had legal size paper loaded in the fax machine.
current mood:  amused
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(24 comments | comment on this)
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| Monday, June 29th, 2009
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6:33 pm
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kouriarashi
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Here's a quick one... I was playing "Movie Mania" with my family the other night, which is a trivia game. It had a lot of errors - typing mistakes and the like - but my personal favorite was this:
Q: Name the 1992 movie which is centered around the life of a cheerleader who discovers she is a vampire.
A: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
....methinks someone was not watching that movie carefully enough.
current mood: amused
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(58 comments | comment on this)
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| Sunday, June 28th, 2009
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7:31 pm - You removed the content I stole! I'm going to sue you!
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12:49 pm - I fought flying ants, and lost
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lorddavid3dxw
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For those who don't know what flying ants are, we get them in England. Annoying little things, just like normal ants but have wings essentially, and normally bigger so will piss you off more, especially as they tend to move in big groups.
On this day I found that some were building a nest in the corner of my window ledge, Couldn't find any ant powder anywhere, so next best thing, boiling water!
So kettle of boiling water in hand I head outside and pour a lot of it over the window ledge, nicely killing the ants that were on there, and hopefully any inside the small hole. I then notice that some are underneath the window ledge and decide they have to go too.
So without even a split second of thought process I open the lid of the kettle and "throw" the water up into the bottom of the window ledge.
Any idea what happens next?
If your answer was "The water hits the wall/window ledge and has nowhere else to go but right back the way it just came." You win a free cookie, and for the record, it damned well hurts too...
I've never actually seen skin "melt" before, thankfully it was just a small inch/inch and a half wide area on my hand (which, when you consider the stupidity of the situation, was damned lucky).
But as if to top the whole thing off, I noticed the ants return the next night. I wound up walking into the garage, turning right, and there sitting on the shelf was the ant powder...
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(32 comments | comment on this)
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| Saturday, June 27th, 2009
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8:57 pm - Rise of the Lichens, Two Pacific Oceans, and Dead Cows
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4:53 pm
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6:54 pm
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o0rayvyn0o
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My father is a paramedic/firefighter. Yesterday there were some very bad thunderstorms with lightning and high winds. Because of that, some areas had a power outage. He was called to a Chinese restaurant to deal with a fire. The fire wasn't caused by lightning, it was because the employees had tried to continue cooking on their stove in the pitch dark.
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(9 comments | comment on this)
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6:15 am - Oh, noez, Miss Panama!
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axoaxonic
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'Miss Panama 2009 - Giosue Cozzarelli's Thoughts On Confucius' on YouTube is another case of pageant beauties fulfilling the stereotype of being dumb.
For those who don't want to or can't do the clicky:
She starts off by reading a quote she's drawn at random, 'learning without thought is labor lost.'
Rather than comment on (or even just explain) the quote, she wants to tell us a little about Confucius.
'Good evening Panama! Confucius... was one of whom invented confusion, and that's why... ehh.... One of the most ancient, he was one of the Chinese Japanese who were one of the most ancient. Thank you!'
She also only used half her time, which is a big no-no in public speaking competitions.
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(26 comments | comment on this)
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| Thursday, June 25th, 2009
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7:03 pm
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velloso21
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Short, but we laughed at this guy all night.
Me: We just bought some Brazilian Rum, we can try that.
Jay: Yuck!
Me: What? Is it not any good?
Jay: Well no, most European rums are pretty disgusting.
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(9 comments | comment on this)
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2:35 am - Talk about a good deal...
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| Saturday, June 20th, 2009
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9:50 pm - Why that poor boat was crying out for a savior....
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marveen
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We just purchased a boat (1964 vintage), and some of the stuff we found there was so stunningly awful that I took photographs.
I don't know much about electricity, its care and management--but even I can tell that this was a Bad Idea:
( That poor battery )
And here's the engineering marvel that he contrived for cooling on hot summer days (yeah, like we have so many of those to deal with here on Puget Sound):
( An AC installation for the ages )
current mood: indescribable
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(27 comments | comment on this)
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| Friday, June 19th, 2009
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2:08 pm - I share the same gene pool with this Mensa candidate
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songstress915
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My 21-year old sister has never been accused of being the most intelligent person in the world, but the best part of when she says something outrageous is that she gets very, very indignant about her supposed point. Because we're all the stupid ones.
A few gems:
(responding to a news report) How can there be a wildfire in Alaska? Alaska doesn't have any trees. It's all snow!
(watching the winter Olympics) Wait. Cross-country skiing? They go across an entire country? Isn't that, like, not fair for the people from large countries?
(in talking about a family friend who adopted a 10 month old Russian baby) Is she going to have a Russian accent when she grows up?
And the latest and greatest;
(doing a report on Ethiopia) Sister: Mom. I'm reading this thing for class, and they say that the average family has 1.9 children.
Mom: Okay... and?
Sister: Uhh... how can you have .9 of a person?
Mom: It's an average.
Sister: but you can't have .9 of a person!
Mom: Do you understand how averages work?
Sister: What, do they count people without arms as less than one person?
Mom: No. When they take an average they count how many children there are, and divide it by the amount of people they asked.
Sister: But don't you divide by 2?
Mom: Not when there are more than 2 things.
ister: No, that doesn't make any sense.
Mom: No, no, you're right. The entire census bureau and every other government reporting agency has this wrong. You totally just uncovered something that we all have been oblivious to.
That's generally the pattern. She makes a ridiculous statement, as it is a fact, and then REFUSES to understand how she's wrong.
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(59 comments | comment on this)
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4:47 pm - Epic Fail - a self mock
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lordlucan
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(Crossposted from my journal)
Here, my darlings, is a tale of fail so epic I can't possibly not share it!
OK, so, on Tuesday I made my first ever online visa order that wasn't a pizza. My old landline phone, which must have been fifteen to twenty years old, crapped out on me, so I ordered a new one from Dick Smith. It arrived yesterday, but I only had time to take it out of the box before I had to rush out again.
I went out and did some stuff involving, among other things, my first ever attempt at karaoke, something I swore I'd never do. The first song I sang was the Scotsman song, which wasn't on the list so I had to sing it without any backing music. Went down well, got a nice big cheer. I also got a fairly good response for my rendition of the King Herod Song from Jesus Christ Superstar. I tried to model my version on that of Rik Mayall. Buckets of fun, really it was!
Anyway, back to the phone. So, I got home rather tiddly and tried to set my sexy new phone up, and ran into trouble immediately - the power supply just would not fit into the phone base. I tried forcing it, but it was clearly the wrong size. Then I did something really fucking dumb - maybe the metal ring thingie on the plug is supposed to come off, thinks I, so I tried to take it off. With my teeth. While it was plugged in. The pain when my tongue touched it told me in no uncertain terms that this was a really really bad idea. By rights I should have electrocuted myself and got a Darwin Award.
It was abundantly clear that the power supply was definitely the wrong one, so today I took it to Dick Smith and they replaced it for me. Got it home, the new one works grand, and all is well with the world.
About ten minutes ago, I was putting the cardboard box into my recycling bin and guess what fell out of it! Oh yes indeed, my sweethearts, it was the proper power supply for the phone. Oops.
One of two things happened here.
1: Somehow the box contained two power supplies, one ancient which I tried to use, plus the proper one which I didn't spot. That's what I'm hoping happened, because it makes me look less of a dickhead, but it's very unlikely.
2: This is far more likely - when my new phone arrived, I took all (OK, almost all) the bits and pieces out of the box and threw my old phone out immediately, except for the power supply which I missed. I got home drunk, saw all the bits and pieces on my floor, failed to notice that I was trying to use the old power supply, assumed that Dick Smith, and not I, had fucked up. My old phone must also have been a Uniden, but being fifteen to twenty years old, all brand identification was well and truly gone, hence my total failure to even think this was a possibility. And I couldn't check, because it had already been thrown out. And I don't mean into my bin where it could be retrieved, I mean GONE.
I have called Dick Smith, told them what the story is, they thanked me for my honesty, and I'll be taking the extra power supply back when I go into town this evening.
And that, my delights, is muppetry of which only a Pooky is capable.
Love yez all! :)
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(13 comments | comment on this)
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| Monday, May 11th, 2009
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10:29 pm - Urinating on police car case not very hard to solve
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shinyobject
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Police work: always easier when the criminals take pictures of themselves commiting the crime
While many people may have felt the temptation, while under the influence of drink, to empty their bladders on a police car in an effort to 'stick it to the man', most people don't actually go through with it.
Even fewer do it while standing in the car park of the local police department, taking pictures of themselves doing it, before showing those pictures to police officers.
But a pair of 23-year-olds in Green Bay, Wisconsin, did just that. Officers were first alerted when they spotted the pair 'acting suspicious' in the parking lot of the Green Bay Police Department on Thursday, according to the Green Bay Press-Gazette.
When asked what they were doing, the men replied that they had been taking pictures. But when the police looked at the images on their camera, they found 25 pictures of the men urinating on a police truck, and walking over the roof of a squad car.
In case this wasn't enough proof, the police also found dents in the roof of the quad car, with footprints that matched the shoes of one of the men.
According to reports, the men had been drinking.
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...I got nothing.
http://www.metro.co.uk/weird/article.html?Urinating_on_police_car_case_not_very_hard_to_solve&in_article_id=656066&in_page_id=2
current music: manu chau
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(16 comments | comment on this)
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mock_the_stupid
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