Nos ([info]nos4a2no9) wrote in [info]mjcountdown,
@ 2007-03-03 11:38:00
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Entry tags:due south

27 days left! And so I bring you "Wings of Desire"
Okay, I've been promising [info]shoemaster forever that I'd post something here, and I came up with...this. It's a little longer than a drabble and it's maybe part of a larger story, but I need another epic AU like I need a whole in the head. In conclusion, snippets.

Oh. I should say - this is a fusion between Wim Wender's incredible 1987 film "Wings of Desire" and due South. Yeah. And it's not wingfic, I'm sorry to say.



Wings of Desire

There are angels on the streets of Chicago.

They have watched mankind since time began in a lost garden. They will watch until the world of man fades away and everything is dark and silent once more.

They watch.

Two of these angels – Cassiel and Ray – are perched high on the El track at 87th and Irvine. They meet once or twice a day to tell each other what they have witnessed, what they have learned. Each tries to determine if humans have a soul. And some days Ray thinks, “Yes, of course” and sometimes Cassiel says, “No.”

Cassiel begins because Ray needs a little time to collect his thoughts. His notes are always disorganized and he speaks with a rapidity and a lack of precision that has confounded Cassiel since the sixteenth century.

Ray is a very good angel.

“Sunrise at 4:34am. Sunset at 8:22pm. An old woman fell on the ice outside her apartment building. She lay there for a long time and watched the snow drift down from the sky. It melted on her eyelashes and she did not think about getting up.”

“That’s good.” Ray is watching people pass below on the street. They seem both very close and very far away. “That’s very good.”

“A suicide at dawn,” Cassiel continues, still reading from his notebook. “I sat with the young man all night but in the morning he jumped anyway. On the way down he thought about the smell popcorn makes when it cooks too long and burns.”

“Hmm,” Ray says into the wind neither of them can feel. “Why?”

“I think it was pure chance. He might have thought about his mother’s housecoat or the way rain sounds against a tin roof. Or perhaps something about falling reminded him of it. Do you think death would smell like burning popcorn?”

“To humans. But I’d really like to know.”

Cassiel frowns. “You know we could never-”

“Yeah,” Ray says quickly, stuffing his hands into the pockets of his long black overcoat. He shrugs and begins to pace along the edge of the track. “But wouldn’t you like to know? What it feels like to have a cigarette? Or a cheeseburger? To say “maybe” instead of “always” or “forever”? To make love? To fall? Don’t you think it would be good?”

They’ve had this conversation before, many times. Cassiel feels as though they will always have it. “I’d like to understand temptation,” he says, his voice quiet above the wind. “I want to know evil. To pluck the apple and take a bite. To be led astray.”

Ray shakes his head. Cassiel, who knows so much, never understands.

“I saw a man in a red tunic dive onto the back of a moving car,” Ray tries to explain. No need to look at his notebook. “He clung to the top for six blocks until the driver made a mistake. And then the man rolled away and dusted himself off and kept order until the police arrived. A woman in the crowd called him a hero. Later he went back to his apartment and wept.”

Cassiel’s eyes narrow. “Why?”

This is a question Ray can answer. “He thinks he’s alone.”

“He is. They all are.”

“They have us,” Ray insists. And with the softness their kind can sense in the sunset: “He has me.”

Cassiel nods. This is why Ray is such a good angel.

They leave one another without saying goodbye. Cassiel goes to the library to read with one of the humans. There he will ponder temptation as an intellectual puzzle; he’ll never get any closer than that.

Ray goes to the little tenement on Racine. The red tunic hangs neatly in the closet, and the rest of the apartment is bare. The man sleeps in a small, hard bed. Ray thinks of Saint Simon and lies down next to the man.

The man stirs a little, mumbling in his sleep. Ray puts a hand on his chest and wishes he could feel the man’s heartbeat. He wishes he could be seen. The man settles and grows quiet; he dreams the dreams of angels.

Ray closes his eyes and thinks, This is what it’s like to fall.



Part II: Angels and the Modern City




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[info]sam80853
2007-03-03 04:53 pm UTC (link)
OMG!

::wipes tears off her face::

THIS IS SO DAMN BEAUTIFUL! God ... beautiful!

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[info]nos4a2no9
2007-03-03 05:03 pm UTC (link)
Thanks! It's schmoopy, but it's angel-schmoopy!

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(no subject) - [info]sam80853, 2007-03-03 05:07 pm UTC

[info]somewhatdeluded
2007-03-03 05:05 pm UTC (link)
ALFHDKJFHKDJGDKSJFHKJHDKJASGFKDHSJK.

OMG.

I *loved* this.

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[info]nos4a2no9
2007-03-04 05:09 am UTC (link)
Thank you! I'm glad I made you go all cap-locks on your keyboard :-)

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[info]llassah
2007-03-03 05:14 pm UTC (link)
god, this is just...ohh it made me cry, I am so damn in love with it! Just ohh so beautiful, I love Ray as an angel, and the tone you have in this, so quiet and peaceful, with this amazing detached yearning. Just- ohh you need to write this at some point (give it a couple of months, and you'll be right as rain *g*)

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[info]nos4a2no9
2007-03-04 05:14 am UTC (link)
Oh hon. I'm so glad you liked it - and crying? Really? I'll take it :-)

And yeah, maybe in a few months this'll be something that feels right to tackle as a longer story. You'll be in the midst of your musician AU and subject to distraction.

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[info]eledhwenlin
2007-03-03 05:35 pm UTC (link)
Awwwwwwwww. Angel!Ray! That's a good image. :D

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[info]nos4a2no9
2007-03-04 05:15 am UTC (link)
Angel!Ray IS a good image. I think we can all get behind it.

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[info]capella_fic
2007-03-03 05:54 pm UTC (link)
Wings of Desire has been one of my favourite films ever since I first saw it (in 1987) and started crying during the opening credits, something of a record even for me. That combination of heartbreaking melancholy and fragile hope is so very perfect for Fraser, and you've done a wonderful job of capturing the feeling of the movie here. And I'm crying again, after just 700 or so words. Fabulous. Thank you.

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[info]nos4a2no9
2007-03-04 05:35 am UTC (link)
Wow, thank you so much! I'm really glad to hear the story worked for someone who loved the original film so much. I was worried about trying to recapture the beauty and, yep, melancholy of Wenders' film - it's difficult to do with City of Angels out there in the public consciousness. I approached the dialog like I was translating from German to English and I think it came off as a bit stilted but a little more meaningful because of it, like the German-to-English subtitles in the film. Anyway, thanks for letting me know you liked the story, and I'm glad I managed to reflect something of this terrific film in my short little fic.

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[info]shoemaster
2007-03-03 06:18 pm UTC (link)
Oh man, that was amazing. I love how Ray is the one who has the faith in humanity, and god, Fraser.

That was lovely. (and yay posting!)

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[info]nos4a2no9
2007-03-04 05:36 am UTC (link)
Thank you! And yay posting indeed!

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[info]rosekay
2007-03-03 06:23 pm UTC (link)
Oh wow. I'm not familiar with either of the films (well, extremely vague impressions of Meg Ryan), but this premise works so very, very beautifully. I love Ray the inarticulate angel and Fraser who gives and gives and cries. This is completely lovely.

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[info]nos4a2no9
2007-03-04 05:37 am UTC (link)
Hahaha, "vague impressions of Meg Ryan" - trust me, you're better off. Thanks for your feedback!

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[info]phenyx_tp
2007-03-03 07:11 pm UTC (link)
This is lovely. Truly wonderful.
I've never seen "Wings of Desire" but I have seen "City of Angels" many times. I always turn it off five minutes before it ends. Those of you who've seen it will know why.

So this story is perfect just as it is. Thinking of Ray in the last five minutes of that film breaks my heart.

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[info]nos4a2no9
2007-03-04 05:42 am UTC (link)
Ugh, those last five minutes were a travesty! I'd never do that to poor Ray.

"City of Angels" is a good movie (yeah, except for those last moments) but "Wings of Desire" is a very special film. I'm really glad you liked the story, and do check out "Wings" if you can find it somewhere. It's a little ironic that the film from an economically depressed, divided Cold War-era West Germany actually has a more upbeat ending than the one produced by the American studio system :-)

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(no subject) - [info]phenyx_tp, 2007-03-04 02:51 pm UTC

[info]kristiinthedark
2007-03-03 07:52 pm UTC (link)
That was so pretty and poetic. I liked it a lot! ♥

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[info]nos4a2no9
2007-03-04 05:42 am UTC (link)
Thank you! I'm so glad you liked it!

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[info]elementalv
2007-03-03 08:34 pm UTC (link)
This was sweet and gentle and loving and lovely and just the thing for a Saturday afternoon.

Thank you!

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[info]nos4a2no9
2007-03-04 05:43 am UTC (link)
Oh, thanks! It did seem to be a good choice for a Saturday posting.

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[info]china_shop
2007-03-03 09:34 pm UTC (link)
Oh. This is beautiful. Thank you!

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[info]nos4a2no9
2007-03-04 05:44 am UTC (link)
Thank you so much!

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[info]slidellra
2007-03-03 10:41 pm UTC (link)
This wonderful.

Cassiel begins because Ray needs a little time to collect his thoughts. His notes are always disorganized and he speaks with a rapidity and a lack of precision that has confounded Cassiel since the sixteenth century.

Ray is a very good angel.


Just lovely. And absolutely hit the spot today.

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[info]nos4a2no9
2007-03-04 05:45 am UTC (link)
Oh, thanks a lot! I'm so glad you liked it.

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[info]viciouscats
2007-03-03 10:53 pm UTC (link)
God, that's SO beautiful!

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[info]nos4a2no9
2007-03-04 05:45 am UTC (link)
*blushes* Thanks, I'm glad you thought so.

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[info]j_s_cavalcante
2007-03-03 11:00 pm UTC (link)
he dreams the dreams of angels.

Ray closes his eyes and thinks, This is what it’s like to fall.


Oh, how beautiful.

And Ray!! He is an angel! To Fraser. Even in his human incarnation.

I can see this Ray-angel (if it were possible in that universe, and I gather it isn't, but I imagine it anyway) finding the human Ray Kowalski and choosing to "fall" into him, share his incarnation, so as to be Fraser's angel in the flesh as well as in spirit. Perhaps the human Ray Kowalski wouldn't even know it had happened. Perhaps the presence of the angel, though, might account for some of the "magic" (like surviving that fall out of the plane) that we see in DS? Just a thought.

A very evocative piece, obviously. Thank you for posting it! Ray is a very good angel. Yeah, he would be. *loves*

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[info]nos4a2no9
2007-03-04 05:58 am UTC (link)
*g* I really, really love angel!Ray. And yes, there is a touch of the divine in the way the improbable seems probable in dS. I liked what you suggested about reincarnations and such. If I were to expand (and, um, I really, really don't want to start writing another epic) I'd probably follow the original film's premise: Ray would watch Fraser and fall in love, not just with the man but with the idea of living, and he'd choose to give up his immortality and his special place as an all-seeing angel to be with the crazy, beautiful Mountie. Schmoooooop!

And thanks for the feedback. You're the best!

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(no subject) - [info]j_s_cavalcante, 2007-03-06 06:40 am UTC

[info]keerawa
2007-03-03 11:36 pm UTC (link)
Mmmmm, lovely.

This evokes such an interesting image of Ray, a touch frenetic in the midst of an eternal peace.

That last line is perfect.

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[info]nos4a2no9
2007-03-04 05:58 am UTC (link)
Thanks a lot! I'm glad you liked it. And hey, I didn't say before, but welcome to the fandom. You've made a big splash and I hope you stick around a while *g*

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(no subject) - [info]keerawa, 2007-03-04 10:48 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]nos4a2no9, 2007-03-04 11:22 pm UTC

[info]debris_k
2007-03-04 12:27 am UTC (link)
Wow. Just, wow.

This doesn't need a beta. Not by me, I think. It's all good, from what I could tell between going "Wow, that's *so* like them!* and "Geez, why the f!@# did they ever make 'City of Angels', that monstrocity is spoiling my memories of 'The Sky Over Berlin'" and of course sighing "Ray. Ray Ray Ray, so *Ray*, that last line" dreamily.

You did an excellent job with this. I *want* to see more.

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[info]nos4a2no9
2007-03-04 06:02 am UTC (link)
Hahaha, I sent that email and then about two hours later I posted. I have problems with delayed gratification :-)

Hahaha, yeah. "City of Angels" was...somethin'. I think I'll always be able to point to it and say, "See, here's what happens when a genre picture, and the Hollywood studio system, get ahold of a beautiful, quiet and philosophical European treasure. It just stripped the best parts of Wenders' film and slotted in a love story when the original was so much more than just "angel meets girl."

And maybe, just for you, I'll write more. Like Welsh in the Peter Faulk role. Can't you just SEE it?

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(no subject) - [info]debris_k, 2007-03-04 11:15 am UTC

[info]_unhurt_
2007-03-04 12:44 am UTC (link)
this is absolutely, painfully lovely.

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[info]nos4a2no9
2007-03-04 06:02 am UTC (link)
Wow, thanks! I hope by "painfully lovely" you meant the good kind of pain :-)

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[info]morudai
2007-03-04 03:17 am UTC (link)
This is an awesome story! I love it. Simple and yet so overwhelming.

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[info]nos4a2no9
2007-03-04 06:03 am UTC (link)
Thank you! I'm so glad you liked it. And your icon is adorable!

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[info]snarkyducky
2007-03-04 03:38 am UTC (link)
you know, i think angel!fics hit the kinkbutton a lot harder than wing!fics do for me, and they're even rarer.. but your story has a way with the words that just make me nggrhhhas;dlkjf

Ray is a very good angel.
oh. in most other fandoms, this sentence (with the name replaced by another character's) would make me snicker. but not in dS, where people *get* it -- there's something about Fraser and the Rays that makes that sentence accurate instead of ridiculous.

the part where Ray puts a hand on Fraser's chest so that he settles and quietens in sleep.. and he dreams the dreams of angels.
just, it is so beautiful i don't have words to express..

Ray closes his eyes and thinks, This is what it’s like to fall.
this story packs such weight in so little words. i love it a lot!
thank you for sharing ♥

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[info]nos4a2no9
2007-03-04 06:05 am UTC (link)
Yeah, wing!fics puzzle me, but I do kinda understand angel!fics. As much as a lapsed Jewish atheist can, anyway :-) And you're right - something about dS and the dynamics of Fraser and the Rays do make the ridiculous seem weirdly appropriate; you can certainly get away with a lot.

Thanks for such wonderful feedback!

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[info]aftertherain
2007-03-04 04:17 am UTC (link)
This is incredible. WOW.

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[info]nos4a2no9
2007-03-04 06:05 am UTC (link)
Thank you!

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[info]stormymouse
2007-03-04 08:44 am UTC (link)
damn. ::sighs:: beautiful.

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[info]nos4a2no9
2007-03-04 11:23 pm UTC (link)
Thank you! And it wasn't hard - the source material (aka the Boys) is pretty beautiful in itself :-)

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[info]akite
2007-03-04 12:52 pm UTC (link)
That was lovely.

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[info]nos4a2no9
2007-03-04 11:23 pm UTC (link)
Aww, thanks! Glad you liked it!

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[info]mergatrude
2007-03-04 10:20 pm UTC (link)
I ADORE THIS!

And you, too!

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[info]nos4a2no9
2007-03-04 11:24 pm UTC (link)
*blushes* Thanks! And the adoration is mutual!

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[info]mmmarmalade
2007-03-05 07:42 pm UTC (link)
Lovely. Would love to see a continuation at some point.

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[info]nos4a2no9
2007-03-06 02:00 am UTC (link)
Thanks! And, um, a continuation. Right. I'll run a poll and see what people want more: angel!Ray or rentboy!Fraser. Literally it'll be the choice between good and evil. Or at least good and sexy. :-)

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[info]vienna_waits
2007-03-05 08:34 pm UTC (link)
Wow. Seriously, this is terrific. This opening:

There are angels on the streets of Chicago.

They have watched mankind since time began in a lost garden. They will watch until the world of man fades away and everything is dark and silent once more.

They watch.


is so majestic, it just sets the tone so perfectly--it's like a giant crane shot from far, far away that slowly comes closer, but still views Ray and Cassiel from above. This is so beautifully written.

I hope you'll forgive me a tiny (and admittedly stupid, but my mind still snagged on it) quibble: your sunrise and sunset times indicate a day at midsummer, so I doubt there would be any ice for the lady to slip on.

Add me to the list that would love to keep reading this. (I'm sure you could write the whole thing if you outlined it first! ;-))

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[info]nos4a2no9
2007-03-06 02:03 am UTC (link)
Thanks for your comments! I don't think I've ever gotten "majestic" before. Maybe "overwritten" or "slightly pretentious" :-) But I'll take yours anyday!

And ugh, I was really, really lazy with the sunrise/sunset times. I should have considered that. Logic clearly isn't my strong suit. Or research. But thanks for pointing out the contradiction - I'll fix it up.

I'm sure you could write the whole thing if you outlined it first!

You made me spit milk out my nose!

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(no subject) - [info]vienna_waits, 2007-03-06 02:14 am UTC

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